Remember, the * in a title means there's sexual content in this chapter. Enjoy!
* * * *
Part One: The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo
November 15, 2020
Sharp stings litter my upper back, the pain intensifying second by second as the clock ticks by. I stare at the red design in the mirror and my feelings of satisfaction and happiness outweigh the burning sensations.
"How does it feel, Dar?"
I look up at Winona with a smile on my face, trying to erase her worry. Even though she and Simone were all for my spur of the moment idea, and even though Winnie got her boyfriend, Quinten, to call in a favor from his tattoo artist friend, Winnie still had second thoughts. Quinten is Win's serious boyfriend and they've been going out for at least nine months. Simone and I met him once when he came to pick Win up from the academy one afternoon. Quinten is Puerto Rican with brazen wheat grass green eyes, lots of thick black curly hair, and a lot of tattoos. Everything ranging from his face to his pinky toe, had some type of ink on it. Not my type personally, but Winnie is head over heels in love. And hey, if she's happy, I'm happy.
Anyway, due to her stressed anxiety, it was almost as if Win was the one getting a needle pressed into her skin. I don't hold it against her though, because that's just how she is. Simone on the other hand couldn't wait to get to the parlor and she said she would get one too if she knew what she wanted.
I look in the mirror again at the permanent ink on my skin, and I have no regrets.
I went with red ink because I wanted something different, and I knew it would look good with my skin tone. I don't care what those people say on Twitter, red ink tattoos look good. I got it on my back because it's unique and it is also very easy to hide. As for the dragon... Roxy loved them. No one but Harry and I know that. She had her tough exterior, and that was one of few personal things that she genuinely loved. On her twenty first birthday, we went to the Golden Dragon Museum in Australia. She was absolutely elated that day, and it still is one of my favorite memories.
Me wanting to get a tattoo seems kind of random, and it kind of is. I just wanted to do something rebellious in nature. Something just for me, and something with significance.
I'm still sitting in the chair, watching calmly as Jamie, the tattoo artist, spreads a cool gel over the tender skin and then proceeds to put a large bandage over it. Jamie is a pretty laid back guy. He's a gorgeous Latino man who looks at least nineteen. His orange-brown eyes are encased in thick black lashes, with equally thick eyebrows above that. His dyed ash blonde hair is in curls sporadically arranged on his head, the brown roots just barley peeking through. His interesting eyes flick up to me once he's done with the wrapping.
"Are you ready for the next part?"
I was kind of skeptical about getting a piercing, but it's something I've always been curious about so I decided to take the plunge. Plus it can't be worse than getting a tattoo.
Oh boy was I wrong.
I have a high pain tolerance, but that was like a hot poker being shoved through my nose.
Winnie winced along with me as I got it, and Simone just looked excited. She was familiar to this pain since she got her nose pierced almost three years ago. What I didn't expect her to do was get another one as soon as mine was done. Simone was happy to pay for it with the credit card her parents gave her free reign over, and I could only shake my head. She's definitely spoiled, but thankfully, it doesn't make her the stereotypical 'rich girl'. Simone is tough, speaks her mind, and is a fierce friend. We all haven't known each other for long but I know that these are my forever friends.
What surprised me even more is that somehow, Simone convinced Win to get a nose piercing too! Something about how this is our physical friendship bracelet and that we will remember this for the years to come.
Astonished, I watched as Winnie held very still while Jamie carefully pierced her nose. For all of the flinching she did while Simone and I got things done, I was surprised yet again to see that she kept very calm and didn't even shed a tear.
When Jamie was done, he told Win that Quinten already had her covered.
Winnie immediately called him up, gushed over him, and told him how much she loved him. Prime gag material, but I know that if I had a boyfriend who was sweet like that, I'd be acting the same way.
A quick flashback, like a bolt of lightning, sears across my mind and I see Ash's face. The familiar dull throb of pain echos in my heart, and I quickly replace that thought with another.
But I can't help but wonder, would Ash like my tattoo?
"Daria?" Startled, I look up and everyone is looking at me like they've been waiting for me to say something. Shoot, I was spacing out again. I try to play it off like I wasn't just hopelessly thinking about my ex, so I grin.
"Hey, do you guys want to get drunk?"
Heterochromia: A condition in which the colored part of the eye (iris) is multicolored. Heterochromia iridum may be part of a genetic condition. It may also be a growth (iris nevus) or occur after an eye injury. In rare instances it may be seen with other disorders.
This is what Google told me. This is what I looked up after my daughter opened her eyes.
One green eye and one brown eye.
Beautiful, but concerning.
I tried to stay calm as I called Samira back in to see Adira's eyes.
I tried not to cry at her expression. I tried not to cry as Samira took her away and I was left alone again. The emptiness in my arms more prominent than before. I wanted to hold her longer, I wanted to bond with her. But her health and well being comes before my own wants.
A doctor came in and told me that Adira most likely has complete heterochromia and that they were running tests. He assured me that it should be harmless, but that they're just checking.
That's how I found myself still sitting in this chair, on Google looking at the worst possible outcomes of this.
I need to be prepared in case things get bad because with the luck I've had lately, things always go badly.
Someone knocks once on the door, then it opens. My heart slams against my rib cage, until I see the familiar blue curls. I sink back against the chair and watch expressionless as Niko walks in.
He closes the door behind him and walks over to me. "Ellie, Samira told me what's going on. I am so sorry, how are you doing?"
That's a dumb question.
But Niko didn't do anything to me, so I try not to lash out at him for trying to help me.
"I just wish I could've held her for longer. I wish for once that nothing would go wrong." Niko squats down next to my chair so that we're face to face. "How do you know that you won't be able to? The day is not over yet, and things could very well turn around Ellie. You must stay positive, especially when things like this happen."
I sigh and take in Niko's words. I look at him, feeling grateful that he's here to help me. It's kind of his job as a therapist, but it feels like Niko is going above and beyond the confines and professionalism of his job. I smile a little and hug him to me, wrapping my arms around his neck.
"Thank you, Niko."
Niko hugs me back, his thick arms snaking around my waist. "Of course Ellie, anytime."
I'm not sure when the air around us changed, but I'm all of a sudden hyper aware of the thin robe and my bare nipples rubbing against the silk fabric. I'm aware of being pressed so tightly against Niko, and how his body feels against mine. Our past harmless flirting suddenly feels as if it just might not be so harmless.
Maybe it's the hormones, or the loneliness, or the still fresh sting of betrayal, that fuels what I do next.
I pull back enough to look at Niko, our breaths mingling. The air between us charged and electric.
It's not the same. You know this connection is nowhere near what you had with Harry.
That subconscious thought strokes against my barely contained rage, and I surge forward, my lips slotting with Niko's.
Zaps.
As our lips dance together, I feel little zaps of electricity. Niko hesitates for a second, then he groans and pulls out my ponytail before carding his fingers through my hair, making me exhale sharply in return.
My nipples harden against his chest, and I feel my face heat up at the action. His hot, sweet tongue laps at my lower lip and I open my mouth in response.
The kiss is carnal, hot, and wet. There is only raw desperation and lust swirling in and around us, nothing more nothing less.
Niko tastes like a mint chocolate chip ice cream cone on a hot day.
Moans spill out of me, my hormones igniting my arousal all at once. My panties are getting damp, and I desperately need friction. Niko takes control and flips us around and sits us down on the chair, with me in his lap. Our kiss doesn't break for one second.
It's like the sexual side of me has been blocked for months, and now that it has been awakened, it's running wildly. I run my hands through his soft blue curls, exhaling into his mouth. My skin jerks in surprise when I feel the cool silver of his earrings, and this just reminds me of how good Niko looks today. My arms are around his neck but I free one of them, take my hand, and gently wrap my fingers around his neck. The skin is slightly raised from the large tattoo, and I am more curious than ever to find out about it. I hear the man's slight intake of breath and he nips at my bottom lip, making me moan low in my throat.
Niko's hands move from my hair down to my body, and I feel them ghost over my breasts. I push into his hands, needing some kind of touch.
"Ellie? Are you okay, can I come in?"
It's as if a bucket of ice water has been poured down my back.
Samira's voice outside of the door has reality crashing down on me and I hurriedly pull away from Niko in shock.
The man's clear blue eyes are hooded and he watches me hungrily. I feel the wetness in my panties increase.
I almost fall back into the lust until another knock on the door clears my head.
"Uhm, I'm fine! Just a minute!"
Niko stands up and helps me to stand up as well. I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror and my cheeks turn even redder.
To put it bluntly, I look like I've been fucked.
My wavy hair is all over the place, one side of my robe has slipped down exposing my bare shoulder and just the top of my breast, and my lips are slightly swollen and red.
I try to fix my appearance up as much as I can. Niko holds out my hair tie, smirking. I snatch it from him and tie the mess up in a haphazard bun. I start to go to the door, but I notice something on Niko.
Walking up to him, I reach up and gently wipe my gloss from his lips. He watches me, no longer smirking, a softer emotion in his eyes.
"You're beautiful."
I don't know how to respond to that, so I just kiss his cheek and then go to open the door.
Samira's standing there, with Adira. Guilt slams into me as I think about what I was just doing. Samira looks from me to behind me, where Niko is standing, looking a bit suspicious. I have to steer her concern away from this.
"Oh! Are the tests done?" My voice is too bright and unnaturally enthusiastic. It must work though because Samira smiles and wheels Adira's incubator in. "Yes, we should know the results soon. But, you can still hold her while you wait."
Excitement rushes through me, and I momentarily forget what just happened. I sit back in the chair and wait as Samira gets Adira ready again.
Niko stands there a bit awkwardly for a minute, before putting a hand on my shoulder.
Goosebumps rise on my skin as I remember just how those hands felt on my skin.
"I'll let you have this moment, okay? Don't worry, I know she'll be fine. I'll be back later."
I look up at him gratefully. We share a look, and then he's gone.
Samira hums as she removes some of the wires from Adira, and she's bringing her back over to me. Adira is still bright eyed and alert, which makes my heart swell in happiness. I hold her horizontally this time, making sure to support her head and keep her stable.
My sweet Addie peers up at me, watching my every move.
"Ellie, I'll let you have some time. But before I go, could I say something?"
I look up at Samira, my anxiety spiking. I try to keep the smile on my face. "Sure, Mira."
"Just be careful with Nikolas, okay? When he loves, he loves hard and if you're not ready for that... just consider yourself and your own feelings before starting something with him, okay?"
I'm stunned at her words, not expecting her to say something like that at all. It's not like that, I want to say. It's not about feelings at all. But remembering the look in Niko's eyes, stops the words from coming out.
So, I just nod and put on a smile. "Okay, thanks Mira." She winks and then she's gone too.
Now that I'm alone, my mind wants to pour over the series of events that just took place, but I don't. Right now, this time is for my daughter and I.
I look back down at Adira to find her still watching me. I softly coo at her, noticing that her eyelashes have started to grow. And as I look into her eyes, I can see them more clearly than before.
Adira's left eye is brown and identical to my own... and my mother's as well. It is a deep chocolate color with tones of gold shining through them. Her right eye is green and exactly identical to her father's. A prominent and bright emerald green.
Looking into the reflection of our love makes me feel incredibly happy, but also incredibly sad at the same time.
As I hold my daughter in my arms, and carry the other in my womb, a deep feeling of loss settles into my bones.
* * *
Adira Styles is just fine.
After an hour of holding her, the doctor from before came in and gave her a clean bill of health. Well, at least for her eyes. I should have been satisfied with that, and I was, but I couldn't help myself and asked when I would be able to take her home.
The doctor let me down as gently as he could and basically said that it wasn't time yet.
He explained that she needed to be up to at least seven pounds before I could bring her home. At the moment, she's only four pounds. That's only three pounds away, but it feels like a hundred.
After he left, I spent another thirty minutes with her until she cutely yawned. I called Samira back in and we got her situated back into the incubator. I tried not to cry as she was rolled away, but that never seems to work for me.
I redressed in the deafening silence, wondering what to do with myself now.
I didn't have to wonder for long.
Niko knocked on the door and opened it before I could say anything. I kind of froze up, unsure of how to act around him now, but the expression on his face quickly melted that social awkwardness away.
"What's wrong?"
"Do you mind if we go to pick up Killian from my mother's house? She- this sounds bad, but she kind of forgot that she was watching him and left him alone. Killian just called me."
I grab my purse. "Oh my gosh, of course I don't mind! Let's go."
As we're speed walking, speed waddling for me, I say goodbye to Samira as we pass. I don't miss the look of concern that passes across her face, but I just ignore it. We're out of the hospital in record time and are in Niko's car. Despite the urgency of the situation, Niko helps me into his car which makes me slightly blush.
On the road, Niko is trying to obey the speed limit, but his foot pushes down on the accelerator more often than what is the normal.
Twenty minutes of tense silence goes by and soon, we're driving through a cute little neighborhood. Houses line the street on each side, a quaint and cottage type of style. Funnily enough, they remind me of gingerbread houses. This is the kind of neighborhood where a child would expect their grandparents to live. We pull up in front of a house similar to the others, a one story brown stone home with a thriving flower garden in front. There's two dark oak picnic tables on the side of the house next to a grill, and I can picture Niko and his family having gatherings here.
Niko barley puts the car in park before he's out and bounding towards the front door. He must have a key, because he only briefly pauses before entering through the front door.
I'm not sure what to do with myself, so I just stay put in the car. I feel awkward, being thrust into this situation, especially with what just happened between us. Sitting here in the silence is making me sharply face reality and exactly what I did. Embarrassment creeps up on me as I think about how I practically jumped Niko. I feel disgusted with myself that I have stooped to Harry's level. Did I do all of that just to get back at Harry?
No. When I really think about it, in that moment I wasn't thinking about Harry at all... at least not during the physical parts. But... if I am being truly honest and looking into the ugliest parts of myself, I know that part of me felt turned on by being wanted. Part of me realizes that Harry is with a skinny blonde, and I am so far from that, so someone as good looking as Niko taking a sexual interest in me... yeah. But that was only part of it, it seems that my feelings are sporadic and really complicated.
I would get out of the car, but I don't want to intrude. Yes I'm here, but none of this is my business and I would be overstepping my boundaries if I did anything. Kissing/heavy petting is one thing, getting involved with his child is a whole other line that I'm sure I don't want to cross. So instead of just sitting there and getting even further into my head, I get out my phone and check my messages.
I'm surprised to see a message from Anna. I haven't heard from my new friend recently, and I've been wondering how she's been doing.
From AnnieAreYouOK
To: El
Hey Ellie! Sorry if this is last minute, but do you want to come over later? Cal is at his gym all day today and Poppy is with her grandmother, so I figured we could have our pregnant posse time? What do you say?
I feel delighted at Anna's message and I immediately respond. I miss having girl time.
From: El
To: AnnieAreYouOk
I would love to! Thank you for thinking of me! I'm out with a friend, but I should be home soon, so I'll be over at one o'clock.
With all of the confusing things going on, especially with Niko, it will be good to talk things out because right now, my body still just wants some kind of sexual touch, and I need to be thinking logically. Men usually think with their dicks, not women. Although, I do have to be careful what I tell Anna about the whole Harry thing if I say anything about him or Niko at all.
Anna's response is swift and excitable.
From: AnnieAreYouOk
To: El
Great! Here's my address, let me know if you can't find it and I'll meet you somewhere!
I have never been to Anna's house and I'm so excited about the upcoming meetup that my current torrent of emotions is forgotten.
After I reply back to her, I check my phone for any other messages, but my phone is pretty blank. I can't tell if that's a good or bad thing. I think about sending my siblings a message, but I kind of don't know what to say. I talked to Charlie the other day and they were in the process of preparing for a "mission" so I didn't want to bother them, but he said that they were doing good. If I wasn't pregnant, I might have thought about going along on one of their "missions". Although, I'm not sure if I would be able to kill someone. I mean, I can kill, as I've proven before, but what if it was a child? Plus, I'd feel weird if I had to answer to Ricci. Yeah, my biological father and I are on okay terms, but I wouldn't want the guy to be my boss. The mistrust has somewhat gone away, but that doesn't mean that I would put anything past him. I'll have to plan something with my brother and sister soon because I miss their company.
I'm pulled out of my musings when I see movement out of the corner of my eye.
Killian and Niko are walking out of the house, hand in hand. Niko locks the house door while Killian shifts a fairly large sketchpad in his free hand.
They walk slowly towards the car, and I can practically feel the child's curious blue eyes on me. The back door opens and Niko buckles Killian into a booster seat I didn't notice until now. "Killian, this is my friend Ellie, Ellie this is Killian."
I turn to look at the boy, and he looks down as soon as my eyes are on him. Aw.
"Hi Killian, nice to meet you!" Yikes, laying it on a little thick, Ellie.
I force myself to calm down and not be so peppy. Killian flicks his eyes up at me and mumbles "Hi." before looking back down and opening his sketchpad. Niko mouths, "Sorry." but I wave him off. If the boy is shy, he's shy. I'm not going to force him to talk to me, I am a stranger to him.
After his son is secure, Niko gets in the front and maneuvers his way out of his mother's gravel driveway.
"So, Killan, you like to draw?" I turn my head slightly to see him give me a half shrug. "That's a good passion to have. I used to draw too. My favorite thing to draw was flowers. Mostly yellow flowers because they looked so happy. What's your favorite thing to draw?"
It's silent for a while and I almost give up on waiting for an answer when I hear his quiet voice say, "Houses."
Pleased that he responded, I tell Killian that that's awesome, and how he could do something like that when he grows up if he wants to. This time he doesn't respond, but that's okay because I can see that he's completely immersed in what he's doing. I center my attention back onto Niko. "So, how was he? Was he okay?"
Niko looks mildly surprised, but happy that I asked. "Yes, he was okay. He said that he just sat and watched YouTube on his iPad after he called me. Thank God for modern technology, right? Anyway, my mom isn't a bad person, she just... ah, she is just slightly slipping on some details and memories. I think I'll have to find someone else to watch Killian when I need it."
I understand exactly what he's beginning to go through and I want to help him. I want to offer to be that person, in fact the words are on the tip of my tongue, but something stops me.
Niko is my therapist. I shouldn't be jumping his bones or offering to watch his sweet kid. I'm not trying to sound shallow, but I don't want the man to fall in love with me. The words that Samira spoke to me echo in my head, and I don't want anyone to get hurt. If I start something with this family, who knows if I'll be capable to finish it or to see it through? I'll be nice, but I don't want to form any kind of attachments.
We get to my house after a comfortable thirty minute drive. Niko says that he and Killian will be going home for a nap, and to have a 'difficult conversation with his mother'. Upon his insistence, Niko helps me out of the car and walks me to my door. Thank God there's no one home, or else I'd have to explain his presence. I turn to Niko to say my goodbyes, when I'm interrupted by a tiny voice.
"Miss Ellie, wait!" Niko and I both turn to see Killian scrambling out of the car and running towards us with a paper in his hand. He slows down once he gets close to us, and he looks shy all over again. He sticks out the paper towards me. "This is for you, bye!" I barley take it out of his hand, before he takes off, bounding back to the car.
I look down at the familiar sketchpad paper, and my heart just melts like chocolate on a hot day.
On the paper is a single, big beautiful yellow sunflower.
Everything I just thought to convince myself to stay away from Niko and his son, empties out of my head. I turn to Niko swiftly, clutching the precious drawing in my arms.
"If you need someone to watch Killian, just let me know okay? I'm not that busy of a person." What I'm saying is the truth. Besides going to the hospital to see my baby, or just hanging out with my few friends/family, I really don't do anything. I like to keep a low profile, keep to myself. I'm not hiding from Harry or anybody else, I just don't need drama. I even cut back on seeing Ricci. Whenever I do see my siblings, we always meet or they come to my house. I stopped going over to theirs just in case. I mean, don't forget it's literally the mafia.
Niko looks taken aback at my offer. "Are you sure? It won't be a constant thing, but I don't want you to feel obligated."
"Obligated? Because I seduced you?"
To my own surprise, Niko's face slightly tints red. "You did not 'seduce me' as you so graciously put it. I think we seduced each other." This time it's my turn to blush, and we kind of stand there awkwardly.
"Well, I'll be calling you and thank you for offering." He hugs me, and a little zing goes through me again. I squeeze his torso, and he caresses my back. I start to get excited again and I can't stop myself from breathing out his name. "Nikolas..." Something switches, and he seems to catch himself. Niko pulls away swiftly, mumbles a goodbye, and then he's gone. As they're driving away, I see Killian's little hand waving out of the back window. I wave back, hoping he can see me.
When I'm alone again, I let myself in the house and walk upstairs, feeling frustrated.
Sexually frustrated. It pains me to admit it, but I think Niko was right. We did kind of jump each other...
The thought of touching myself flickers through my mind, but I think I would just make the frustration worse. Huffing out an annoyed breath, I strip out of my clothes and take a quick shower.
I keep the water on the cooler side, wanting to starve off the horniness. Cold showers work for women too, ya know. And It does end up working as I feel much better when drying off.
Now that I'm relatively calm, it's time to change and get ready to go to Anna's house.
I change out of my pink sweatsuit and into thick black fleece lined leggings, and a plum colored sweater. I pair the warm outfit with black uggs, and a black beanie thrown over my messy hair. When I'm mildly satisfied with how I look, I go downstairs, pop a few pieces of dried fruit in my mouth, slide on my trench coat, and I'm out the door.
The drive from my house to Anna's is easy and breezy. It's a bit back in the woods, but my own house is like that, so I'm used to it. As I'm driving down the blacktop driveway, the house comes into view and I think that the cute/classy place suits Anna very well.
She does have neighbors, but their houses are hidden from view by the thicket of woods that surround the beautiful house. I park behind a white truck in the driveway, and I carefully get out of my car. I haven't noticed it until today, but it's becoming increasingly difficult to get in and out of cars. My belly is expanding so much, that it's nearly touching the steering wheel.
Yikes, what will I do when I physically cannot drive anymore?
I don't know but I file those thoughts away to mull over when I'm alone.
Faster than I can believe, a very pregnant Anna whips open her front door and bounds down the stairs. "Ellie!"
"Anna!" She looks good in a long flowing blue dress, her straight brown hair has blonde tip highlights that still look great on her. Funnily enough, she's barefoot as she walks across her driveway. When she reaches me, we hug as best as we can, laughing the entire time. After we pull apart, Anna takes my arm and we walk (slowly this time) into the house. "I'm so glad you found the place okay! How was the drive?"
I quietly take in Anna's taste, surprised that there are not more explosions of color. I mean, I'm not judging but she is an artist. I kind of expected an over dramatically chaotic interior design.
"The drive was good! You're actually not that far from my house, which you already knew. I know you must have told me, but I was pleasantly surprised with how short it was."
We stand in the foyer, making small talk about weather and such. When there's a lull in the minor conversation, Anna speaks up.
"So, Ellie would you like to take a tour of the house? I mean, since it's your first time here and all, I just thought this would be a good way for us to get to know each other better."
My latest obsession is watching HGTV, so I'm very enraptured by interior design. I smile brightly at my friend and link my arm through her own. "I would love to!"
Anna leads me to the beautiful kitchen and I find myself oohing and ahhing like an excited child.
She offers me a snack, but I decline, not very hungry for once. Shrugging, Anna grabs a few grapes from the fridge and leads me into the living room.
"How is sweet Adira doing, El?"
I smile fondly at the question, happy to talk about her. "She's getting so much better, Anna. I got to hold her today and it was the best feeling in the world."
"What?! You got to finally hold her?! I'm so happy for you Ellie! How did it feel?"
"It felt... it felt like a part of me was finally complete. It made me feel a kind of unconditional love that I've never felt before." Not even with Harry. But then again, a mother's love is something completely different.
Anna awes, and we talk of her own upcoming due date, which is early to mid December.
Anna waddles out of the living room and goes down the hall. I waddle as well, wondering if we look like a pair of penguins from an outside perspective.
The house has a white, rustic french thing going on, but the art hanging on the walls is phenomenal. I don't know much about art, but as we walk down the long hall, I am entranced by the interesting beauty. It almost feels as if I'm in a sophisticated museum.
*Something Like This ^
Anna doesn't notice my fascination and we keep going. But I know that I'll come back later to look at each piece in more depth. She takes me to a room that is at the end of the hallway. "Now this is my art studio. It takes up a part of the garage, but I've tried my best to decorate it more to my taste. I apologize for the draftiness in advance." The door opens, and my eyes are seeing a kaleidoscope of colors are everywhere.
"It's kind of small, since this room was originally a closet, but it's mine and I love it."
So this is where all of the color is. This is what I have been waiting for, coming from an artist. "It's very lovely, Anna. I love that it's not perfectly pristine because that's how I can tell who you are as a person."
The apples of Anna's cheeks turn slightly pink, and we move on. We go back down the long hallway and she leads me up the beautiful staircase. Upstairs are five doors, two on one side and three on the other. Anna leads me to the first door on the right.
Poppy's room is simplistic but beautiful. The pastel colors mesh well together, and it looks relatively neat for a four year old. Her bathroom is next to her room, so small and perfect for her, the simplicity making it stand out more than something over the top. Anna gushes that Poppy is potty trained and that she's thrilled the "wet the bed" stage is over. We move on to the room next to Poppy's room and I'm amazed yet again. As we go from room to room, my imagines of this house are satisfied.
Twin's Nursery
Master Bedroom.
Master Bathroom.
We end the tour with their beautiful screened in back porch facing the long and lusciously green backyard.
I settle into one of the wicker chairs, and Anna sits across from me on the extended couch. I find myself wanting to know Anna on a deeper level, so I just dive right in with the questions.
"So I've been wondering, is your family excited that you're having twins?" I know that I've said the wrong thing when Anna's face changes, and the bright expression is replaced by a dark haunted look.
"Actually, my parents died when I was a teenager. They were all that I had, so I don't have any other family."
Well damn, my curiosity has done it again. "Shit Anna, I'm so sorry. I literally have no tact, I'm sorry."
She laughs, "Ellie, it's fine really, don't look so stricken! I've made my peace with it, I have for a while now." Her words sound truthful, but there is a certain pain in her eyes that looks familiar. Something that tells me that Anna isn't as completely over it as she says she is. I'm not going to pry and I'm not going to play Oprah, because I am the last person that should be judging anybody.
I want to get the topic off of her family, so I shift it to mine.
"I understand because my mother died last year in a horrible way." I'm up for sharing, but there's no way in hell I'm telling her that my sick mom was beheaded. Who the fuck would get that? That would just send her running for the hills and I'd be out of a friend.
Anna looks at me with sympathy, which I don't particularly enjoy, but at least the pain in her eyes is gone. "I'm sorry for your loss Ellie. I don't want to dredge up hurtful memories for me or you, but my parents were killed in a terrible way as well. So, not many people get it, but I do."
We share an understanding silence, each of us trapped in our own thoughts of loss. I try to snap us out of it by asking lighter questions.
"Anna, I don't think I've asked you before but how old are you?"
"It's funny how we haven't asked each other the basic questions, huh? Well, I'm 25. You?" She's older than I thought she was, but it's not a bad thing. That means that she had Poppy when she was... about 21. That makes me feel like we could relate to each other on the pregnancy front, and it's something good to know.
"Well, I'm 23 and I'll be 24 next May. When's your birthday?"
"December 3rd, so it's coming up soon, but I feel like I'm getting old! 26 doesn't seem old, but it might as well be 40 to me. Cal is two years older than me but he swears I act like an old lady. It drives me nuts."
I laugh imagining the army man and Anna bickering back and forth.
"How did you and Calvin meet?"
Anna gets a dreamy look on her face, the love she feels is plainly seen. "We met at an art gallery when I first moved here. I was lost and alone, and I didn't know what to do with myself and he was the only one who saw me. He was with a few of his fellow soldiers and they dared him to talk to me because in his own words: they noticed how he couldn't take his eyes off of me."
"Aww, that's incredibly sweet!"
"Yeah, it was. We were friends for years before we even began dating. I was an accountant when I met Cal and over the years he encouraged me to focus on my art and make that my main profession. He helped me to achieve my dreams and I will always love him for it."
"That's what soulmates do, isn't it? They are your ultimate best friend and continuously encourage and uplift you. It is definitely a beautiful thing."
"You are so right, El. How did you and your husband meet? In fact, I don't think I remember his name! Yikes, pregnancy brain is so embarrassing!"
It would be embarrassing if I had ever told her his name, but I haven't. The question makes my brain seize up, and I know that I have to be extremely careful with how I answer.
"Well, his name is Edward and we met..." We met when I found his unconscious body behind a dumpster. How could I even word that without having to attempt to explain the whole story? "We met through mutual friends! Um, we had a enemies to lovers thing going on, so yeah. But it's just hard because he's not around much. It feels as if he's left me all alone." I lied, but the pain in my voice, and the rage crowding my mind is definitely the truth.
Anna gives me another sympathetic look, but it looks more understanding than before. "I'm sorry to hear that El, and I completely understand. Listen, if you ever feel alone or if you need someone who gets it to talk to, just know that I'm here. Call me, text me whenever you need to because that feeling can get overwhelming, especially when you're pregnant."
Her words resonate with me, and I truly feel like she means it. It makes my heart soar to know that I have many people to turn to for help if things gets too much.
"Thank you, Anna. Seriously. You don't know how much that means to me."
We continue to talk, and I get to know my friend better than I have before. When there's a lull in the conversation, Anna gets a certain spark in her eye. "Hey, before I forget, I was wondering if you and Daria would like to come over for Thanksgiving dinner? I mean if you don't already have something planned, Calvin and I would love to have you!"
Part of me thinks this is a pity invite, but the other part thinks that this is just something that friends do. I think I'll be going with the latter thought. "Thanks, I would love to!" I'm already thinking about desserts that I could bring to the holiday dinner.
As the afternoon wanes, and the sun sets, Anna and I continue to have an amazing time. I feel so at ease and I feel as if I'm finally getting a break.
I want these feelings to last.
A/N: Daria is silently going through it and the tattoo is her mildly acting out. Enjoy Part 2!
Part 2: Give Thanks
November 26, 2020
Last year on Thanksgiving, Ellie convinced me to go ice skating.
We were in the thick of our many problems, but she convinced me to put my worries away and go ice skating together. It was the most ridiculous thing I've ever done. I was like a newborn lamb, fumbling all over the ice while she helped balance me and suppressed her beautiful laughter. It was the best day of my life. Afterwards, we went back to Zayn and Josie's house and had some delicious traditional and non-traditional Thanksgiving food.
As I sit in my empty apartment building, getting dressed to go spend time with someone who isn't the love of my life, I call on that memory to comfort me.
Today, Wynter invited me to have dinner with her, her mother, and her aunt. I already know that it's going to be absolutely miserable. If Wynter's family members are anything like her, I'm going to have to fake it big time to stop myself from shooting them.
I was hoping that the dinner would be held in her uncle's house, where she had been staying, but Wynter bought her own apartment nearby to my vexation. I'm not 100% sure yet, but my gut is telling me that her uncle is the key. The key to some fucking answers. Answers, so I can quit this double agent shit and get my life back.
Get my family back.
I am human and I can only hold my composure for so long. Sooner or later, I am going to fucking snap. The only thing holding me together is Ellie and my babies. With that thought, my mind flashes back to the last time I saw my daughter.
Flashback
Liam still has the blade to my neck, my blood flowing freely, but I hardly notice it. I'm trying to figure out a way to give him a half truth, so that what I'm doing can keep everyone protected. I make a snap decision and decide to just tell him the very basics of the truth.
I exhale heavily, wondering if I'm losing a lot of blood. "Okay Liam, I'll tell you."
Faster than I thought he could move, my wife's best friend has me flipped onto my back, staring at me along the barrel of a gun. He's dressed in an all black outfit and the balaclava he was wearing is pulled up. Liam's usually neutral eyes are filled with a fire I have never seen in him before. If this entire situation wasn't fucked, and we didn't know each other, I would try to recruit him for the Pythons.
"Talk."
In the back of my mind, I know that I could have Liam on his ass in an instant. I know that he doesn't comprehend my full strength, but this isn't about pride or ego.
It's about Ellie.
"I started getting the letters after Theo was killed."
"Letters?"
"Yes. Threatening letters about Ellie. Letters that explained in great detail how they were going to kill Ellie and I."
"What the fuck? Who was sending them if Theo was dead?"
"I'm still trying to figure that out. It took me killing every last one of the Demons' gang to figure out that it wasn't a gang member at all. Plus it wasn't just threatening letters, it was a lot of other shit going down during the months leading up to the wedding."
"Care to elaborate?"
"No."
Liam gives me an exasperated look, but at least the instant violence reflex seems to have worn off. "Why the hell not?"
Losing a bit of patience, I bare my teeth at the man. "Because it's fucking Python business only. It's for your own safety." I can't tell Liam about the personal attacks on our main bases, the shooting at a few of my clubs, the fire at a pharmacy in California, or how some random disposable man with a distinct accent jumped me and tried to kill me a month before our wedding. I can't tell Liam any of that because the guilt of not telling Ellie will resurface and eat me alive.
Not to mention that I don't completely trust Liam to not tell Ellie any of this.
Liam scoffs. "Is that what you think you're doing for Ellie? You faking your death did nothing but hurt her. Did you know that when she thought you were dead, she tried to kill herself? She was pregnant and had reasoned with herself that if she and the baby died, at least they would be with you? Do you get how fucked up-"
Even faster than he was, I get out from under Liam's stance over me and I disarm the gun. I point it at him, slightly shaking.
His words have ripped something open inside of me and it feels like a dismal black hole. Everything I've been putting at the back of my mind is trying to surge forward, and I am going to lose what little control I had over myself.
"Get out." Liam stares at me for a minute, and he must see something in my eyes, because he silently leaves.
It isn't until the door closes, that a tear escapes my hold.
**End of Flashback**
Ever since then, I dream about Ellie killing herself every night. I dream that she dies, my babies die, and they go to heaven while I'm damned to this earth. I've tried to convince myself that Liam was lying, but the haunted look in his eyes clearly says otherwise.
Hearing that Ellie attempted suicide has broken down a wall inside of me. The situation that I'm in hasn't changed, but I have changed in an instant after hearing that.
I never thought... I never even considered that that could be a possible reaction to my "death". I knew that she would be broken, but I rationalized with myself that Ellie was strong, and that she could handle the pain. Although that was before I knew she was pregnant. I should have known that too. The month before the wedding, her body was changing, her mood varied from day to day, and the amazing sex was constant. I should have put together the puzzle pieces, but we were so sure that she couldn't have kids. Also I chalked it up to excitement for the wedding. Looking back, on everything, I have many many regrets.
I never knew this situation would spin out of control and get to this point.
I need to find some answers soon, or I'm going to plan b. And absolutely no one is going to like plan b. If it comes to that, it will mean certain death for me. I will make that sacrifice if this gets anymore dire. Hey, it's not like I don't deserve it.
My phone vibrates, cutting off my circulating thoughts. I glance at the caller ID and sigh. I seriously don't fucking have time for this. But I have to pick up anyway, in case it's important.
"What."
"Hey Harry, it's Niall-"
"Niall, I already know it's you."
"Oh right. Um-"
"What the fuck do you want?" These days, it doesn't take much to set off my anger. My rage. I've been pissed off at Niall ever since Ellie shot him. It was his job to keep her in the dark, and he failed miserably. I failed miserably, but I'm still pissed he was incapable of doing his fucking job.
"Harry, there are a few of our members that are questioning what I'm doing."
I put the phone on speaker and continue to get ready. "Niall, you're telling me something that I already know. The Pythons are supposed to question what you're doing. You're making mistakes on purpose, remember?" I've explained this to Niall several times now. Granted, I can't tell him my reasons, but it has to look like my gang has been failing since my 'death'. If my hunches, and speculations are correct it has to look like the Pythons is a dying gang.
Niall exhales, and I can tell that he's about to get pissed off as well. "Yes, I'm not fucking dumb, I know what I'm supposed to be doing. That is not the problem. The problem is that certain members are starting to rise. Rumors of killing me and taking over themselves are circulating. Soon they will not just be rumors, it will be a reality."
With what I have Niall doing, I'm not surprised that my members are beginning to get restless. Fortunately, I have planned for this.
"Just keep doing what you're supposed to do, I'll handle it." I hang up, not waiting for a response. I speed dial Louis in the next minute.
"Yeah?"
"Louis it's time. Do it."
"Aye aye captain!" Rolling my eyes at his never ending enthusiasm, I hang up on him too.
I put on my dress shoes and just close my eyes. I sit in the silence and try to take in a sliver of peace before I am deposited back into the chaos.
This needs to be over sooner rather than later, or I will have no other choice left.
"Daria! Are you ready yet? It's time to go!"
"I'll be down in a minute!"
That is the third time that girl has told me that, and it's been over twenty minutes. I don't know what she's doing up there, and I told her she didn't have to dress up too much. I myself am wearing a sleeveless cream cashmere dress with cream flats, gold jewelry, and I have my hair in voluminous soft curls. My hair is naturally wavy, but I've always liked how it looked in curls. This pregnancy has made my hair thicker and shiner, and it's never looked better.
My belly sticks out farther than ever, but the dress is very flattering to my shape. This morning, Daria and I visited Adira, and Daria got to hold her for the first time. I realized today that Daria and Adira have the same letters in their names, the letters are just rearranged. When I told Daria, she said that it was kismet. Their meeting was very precious, and Daria instantly fell in love with her. I realized, yet again, that I've been keeping Adira to myself, and that other people care about, and want to see her too.
I feel like I've been having that revelation more and more each day.
Lately, Daria has been a little distant and aloof. I've tried to keep tabs on her, but sometimes I just can't seem to keep up with the teenager. She's been spending a lot of time with her friends, and I know that they're all good girls, but I worry about her. So I've been including her more in the things that I do, and I've been spending a lot of time with her, without seeming like I'm forcing it. I don't want to get on her case too much because I don't want to push her away. I just hope that she's being smart in whatever she is doing.
Oh God.
I wonder if Roxy gave her the birds and the bees talk?
With her sense of humor, I'm sure Dar understands the logistics but is she... doing it? Is she practicing safe sex? Is she on birth control?
As I stand at the bottom of the staircase, it dawns on me that I am Daria's guardian and it is now my responsibility to make sure that she is safe in everything that she does.
Damn.
It's like a slap in the face because, I should've realized this months ago. How long have I been wallowing in my own despair and not paying attention to the lives around me?
From now on, I'm going to be better. Starting now, starting today.
"Okay, I'm ready!" Daria walks down the stairs and does a little spin.
"So? What do you think?" The teen is wearing a burnt orange top with puffy sleeves, purple pants, and black boots. Her hair is in a slick bun, she has big gold sun earrings on, and her makeup looks natural.
"You look beautiful, Dar! I love the mismatch aesthetic!" Daria grins and thanks me. She turns slightly to grab her dark green purse off of the steps, when I see a peek of red ink on her back.
"Daria, is that a tattoo?"
The teenager freezes and her shoulders tense up. She turns around to face me slowly, and the expression on her face is sheepish and a tad terrified.
"Um... surprise?"
All I can do is raise my eyebrows at the girl. I am not sure how exactly to proceed with the conversation that has to be had. I'm not even sure how I'm supposed to react to this. I'll have to wing it, by sharing my true feelings.
"Okay, I'm not gonna lie, that tattoo is sick from what I can see." Daria's face lights up. "But-" her expression drops, and she winces, probably waiting for me to yell. "But, I have a lot of questions. I know talking to an adult about stuff is kind of awkward, but I'd rather have uncomfortable conversations than be sorry we didn't later." I give her an easy smile and try my best not to look like I'm judging. "C'mon, we can talk in the car. Is that okay?" Dar looks surprised that I asked, but she nods. I grab myself a snack a we're walking out the door, just in case the food is not ready. Daria carries the apple pie that we baked together for the holiday.
Once everything in the car is secure and we get on the road, I take a deep breath.
"Listen, I love you and I care about you. So that means I want you to be safe in everything that you do. Have you been keeping yourself safe?"
There's a beat of silence, then, "What do you mean?"
Jeesh, there's no beating around the bush with this topic.
"Did you go to a tattoo shop to get this done? Or did you and your friends do it yourself? If you went to a tattoo shop, did you make sure that they had all the permits necessary? If you're having sex, and I'm not judging, but are you being safe? It's not all about pregnancy, there's also dangerous life lasting STD's to watch out for. I worry about you, and I just want you to be healthy, happy, and safe." From the way the tattoo looks, it's obvious she went to a professional but that doesn't quell my worries.
I can feel Daria's eyes on me, but I can't place her expression.
"Well, we went to a shop that Winnie's boyfriend is friends with, and I'll be honest I didn't check out any of that stuff you said, but I tried my best to be safe." She bites her lip and I know she's trying to figure out if she should tell me the whole thing or not.
I try to nudge her in the right direction. "Anything else? I promise you that I'm not judging. I am the last person that would be in the right to judge someone." Daria sighs, and I know she is about to tell me. "Well we got kind of drunk after we got the tattoo's and piercings-"
"Piercings?" We stop at a red light, so I'm able to get a good look, and sure enough there is a silver ball in her nose.
"Oh yeah, um, we got matching nose piercings too. Soooo anyways, we got drunk but we were at Simone's house, and it was just us. All we did was drink really bad pina coladas and watched corny romance comedy movies."
That's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. My mind was conjuring up the worst scenario, so right now I feel majorly relieved.
"As for your other questions, I've only had sex twice and it was with Ash. I was safe, and Roxy definitely gave me and Ash the talk. She convinced me to have an IUD put in, but to still use condoms, so yes I am completely safe. As mortifying as it was, I'm glad she cared enough about me to do it. The same goes for you. It makes me incredibly happy to know that you care about what happens to me and how I am doing. I admit that I've been feeling a little reckless lately, and I just wanted to do something wild. I don't know how to put it into words exactly."
I figured that Daria and Ash had been intimate, but I wasn't completely sure until now. Since we've moved to Canada, I've been wondering where Ash has been or how he's handling the move. But now that I'm looking at the sadness in Daria's eyes, I can tell that they've broken up and have been for a while. Again I'm hit with the fact that my own drowning grief cancelled out everything going on around me. I think that Daria wanted to do something reckless, to have some sort of control over something she chose to do. Everything that's happened to her has been out of her control. But hey, I'm no therapist so I keep my mouth shut on the topic.
"What about Zander?"
That does the trick, and Daria snaps out of her past and she looks at me, a little bewildered. "Zander? What about Zander?"
I grin and wiggle my eyebrows. "Well it's obvious that he likes you, but do you like him back?" Daria blushes slightly and looks out the window. "Zander and I are good friends, but that's it really. If he likes me, he hasn't told me about it."
"Well of course he wouldn't tell you, Dar. He's either trying to figure out if he should make a move, or if you even like him back."
Daria scrunches up her nose in distaste. "That is so dumb. Why don't people just say how they feel? Be direct, you know?"
I shrug. She has a very good point. "I don't know Dar, but things would be easier if that was the case."
Our conversation falls into a nice silence, and we listen to the radio.
The rain pelts against the car windows, patterns of rivulets all over the car. The steady drum of rain is quite soothing, and it reminds me of something like meditation.
We reach Anna's house pretty soon, and despite the calming rain, I feel a bit nervous. It's most likely because this is the first serious event between Anna and I as friends. Until now, we've only sparsely hung out at coffee shops, or at playgrounds, things like that. I admit that I might be being a tad bit dramatic, but how this dinner goes will cement our friendship forever.
Daria exclaims over the cuteness of the house, while I'm holding the pie, feeling like a nervous wreck. We stand at the front door, the soft rain pelting on our shared polka dot umbrella. There's a bit of ruckus that can be heard behind the door before it opens.
Poppy looks up at us, adorable as ever, wearing the coolest headband that I have ever seen. Recognition lights her eyes and she grins. "Hiya Ellie! I miss you!" She tilts her head to the side and studies Daria. "Ellie, who is the pretty girl?" Daria smiles and crouches down to Poppy's height. "My name is Daria and I'm Ellie's sister. You're Poppy, right? We met before, but that was a while ago. You look so pretty Poppy!" Poppy gets shy, but she takes Daria's hand and leads us into the house.
I close the door behind us, and I hear Poppy calling out to her mother.
Anna pops out of the kitchen, looking a little flustered. "Hi guys! I didn't even hear the doorbell, jeez I'm so sorry! Poppy, what did I tell you about opening the door by yourself?"
"To not do it unless you are daddy are there with me. Sorry mommy."
Anna smiles at her manners.
"That's okay, Poppy. Now why don't you run upstairs and get Daddy?"
"Okay!" The energetic child drops Daria's hand and runs out of the aromatic kitchen.
"Hey Daria, you can put the pie over here next to the pumpkin, okay? You guys are actually lifesavers, because Cal dropped the ball on picking up an apple pie! He said it's not his fault that apple is gross." She rolls her eyes and laughs. "I told him just because he doesn't like it doesn't mean everyone feels the same way. I swear, sometimes it's like I have two four year olds." As she's talking, Anna is kneading some kind of brown dough. She stops kneading and carefully shapes the dough into a round bread pan.
"You both can hang up your coats in the foyer, and relax in the living room. Dinner will be ready in about an hour!"
Daria shrugs off her coat, but stops short. "Do you need any help Anna?" Anna looks as if she's immediately going to say no, but she looks over at the ingredients spread out on the counter. "Well, actually, I could use help with finishing this bread, do you mind?" Daria smiles, and she almost looks like an adult. "Not at all, I love to cook! Let me just hang up my coat, and I'll be right back."
I think about offering my help as well, but I want Anna and Daria to get to know one another. So I hang up my coat next to hers, and I settle down on the comfortable couch in the living room. Anna has the tv on, and the Thanksgiving Bob's Burgers episode is on. I feel a bit weird not doing anything, so it's a relief when the doorbell rings. I spring up, as much as my very pregnant self can "spring", and beeline toward the door. "I'll get it!"
I open the door and get an instant shock to my system.
"Liam?"
Liam is standing there with a beautiful woman on his arm. I recognize her to be Odessa, the severe project manager.
She is striking and an intense kind of beautiful. Seeing her up close and in person, I wonder how Liam managed to even snag her. Not to be offensive to Liam or anything but damn. I can tell just from their body language, that they have been... involved with each other. It might be serious, it might not, but something is there between them.
I realize that I've been standing there too long in silence, and now it seems like I'm feeling something that I am really not. I plaster a big smile on my face, and ignore the slight twinge of hurt that Liam lied to me to essentially be with this hot random girl who he's known for 5 seconds.
Nope, I'm fine.
This is what I wanted isn't it? I wanted them to be together and I even attempted to do a little matchmaking. All of that is true, so what is wrong with me? "Hi guys! Nice to see you! What are you doing here? Do you know Anna?" My voice sounds high and strained to my own ears and I want to cringe into a pool of embarrassment.
Get it together! Liam is your best friend! Support, now!
"Wait, come in out of the rain first!" I back up and turn around to let them in, and I just barley catch Odessa's wide eyes on my belly. I wonder what exactly Liam told this girl.
Like a good substitute hostess, I tell them to hang up their coats in the foyer, and I debate with myself if I should lead them to the kitchen or the living room. On one hand this is not my house, therefore these are not my guests. On the other hand, Liam is my friend, and I'm dying to know how exactly he got to be here.
My mannerism wins out in the end, and I lead the (couple? friends with benefits? lovers?) people to the kitchen where Anna and Daria are. Liam is wearing a white button down shirt, tan dress pants that are fitted at the bottom, and dark brown penny loafers. His hair is a bit damp, but looks good tied in a neat bun. Odessa has on a long black strappy dress, with gold heels, and minimal gold jewelry. The outfit is simple, but she really makes it stand out.
As soon as the three of us enter the kitchen, Daria's face brightens. "Liam!" And with flour all over her hands, she flings herself at him and hugs him. She doesn't get flour on him, but he doesn't seem to notice anyway. Anna wipes her hands off and joins the small party at the base of the kitchen. She winks at me and grins. "Surprise!"
All of the dots connect in my mind. "You called Liam?"
"Yes! You told me that you were missing him, so I looked him up and voila!"
I vaguely remember telling Anna about missing my friend, but I'm pretty sure that I just said it in passing. Wow, that girl is an avid listener and investigator. How the hell did Anna of all people convince him to come back? I really hope she didn't make it seem like I was miserable without him or something.
I don't know whether to thank Anna or roll my eyes at her, so I just settle on a hug.
I'm not 100% thrilled to see Liam, but I am just a little happy that he's here.
When we pull back, we turn and see the three watching us. Daria and Liam look amused, and Odessa looks curious. The doorbell rings again breaking the moment before it becomes awkward. I don't get a chance to open the door because somewhere in the house, Calvin yells that he's got it. So, Anna and Daria go back to cooking, Liam and Odessa move toward the hallway, and I find the nearest bathroom I can lock myself in.
Not sure how I ended up going upstairs, but here I am in Poppy's mini pink bathroom.
I stare at myself in the mirror, and practice how to not look as manic as I feel. I straighten out my dress, fluff my hair, and reapply my gloss. When I still don't feel calm, I take out my phone and log in to the hospital's app.
My sweet little Adira fills the screen, and I instantly feel better. She is sleeping, and she looks absolutely adorable. This morning, I felt a little melancholy that this was her first Thanksgiving with her in the NICU, but I rationalized with myself that she's just a baby and she wouldn't remember it anyway. That helped me a little.
I'm cooing at my baby, minding my business, when I hear them.
"Liam, I have one question for you and I want an honest answer."
Oh crap.
I haven't heard the girl say more than two words, but I know that it's Odessa speaking. Her voice is as beautiful and sensual as she is. It's kind of low, and slightly accented. Definitely a voice a room full of people would pay attention to.
"Ask away, I'm an open book." Liam responds, and to my horror, I can hear every word. I realize that they're probably in Poppy's room, and here I am in her bathroom. The rooms aren't connected, but they might as well be from how clearly you can hear everything.
"Are you the father of Ellie's baby?"
The question is like an atomic bomb being dropped. I saw Odessa sneaking looks at my belly, but it never crossed my mind that she would come to a conclusion like this.
The silence is so thick, I'm practically holding my breath as to not disturb it.
Finally, "No, I am not the father of her babies."
"Babies?! Look Liam, we're not married or anything but some details about the girl you're in love with would be nice."
"Ellie has a lot going on that's... complicated, and I just didn't want to air out her situation. However, I could have at least told you the basics, and for that I am sorry. Honestly I brought you because I care about you, and I know if the roles were reversed I would be upset too. I love her, but I am working hard not to be in love with her." There's a beat of silence, and the beautiful woman sighs. "Well I can understand that Liam. Thank you for apologizing, I-"
Suddenly Adira coos, scaring the shit out of me and cutting off whatever Odessa was going to say. I scramble to turn my phone down and I hear her asking Liam what that noise was.
"Probably everyone downstairs, wondering where we are. Why don't we finish this conversation later, okay?"
"Alright."
"Great. I have to use the bathroom, I'll meet you downstairs?"
I hear them kiss, which makes me want to be as far away from them as possible.
I listen to footsteps fading away, but another set of footsteps comes closer and closer to me. I don't even bother to panic, instead I try to stay calm and pretend I didn't hear what I just did.
The door opens, Liam and I stare at each other.
I hold up my phone which still has my baby on it. "I swear I wasn't trying to listen to you or Odessa."
Liam smiles amusement in the depths of his eyes. "I know. How much of that did you hear?"
I shift my eyes to his forehead. "Not much." LIE.
I know Liam doesn't buy it, but what can he say? If he calls me out on my lie, I'll call him out on his. He walks fully into the bathroom, and closes the door behind him. "How are you?"
I plaster on a big smile, like the one I was practicing in the mirror. "I'm fine. How are you? How was the... emergency?"
At least Liam has the decency to look guilty when I linger on that word. We both know that it was something he made up. The real question is why did he do it? Odessa cannot be the sole reason for him lying and leaving again. But I do not want to get into it with him, I just don't have the energy. Plus it's Thanksgiving!
So I suck it up and move the hell on. "Well, let's go see who else arrived!" Without waiting for Liam, I turn and walk past him to leave the miniature bathroom. Soon enough, I hear Liam's footsteps behind me as we walk back downstairs. We part ways as he heads off to find Odessa, and I go to the kitchen to see what everyone is up to.
The atmosphere in the kitchen is felt as soon as I hit the door frame. The once cheery ambiance is gone, replaced with something a little more somber. Anna and Daria are wrapping up the cooking, but Anna looks worried. The crease between her eyebrows tells me so. Poppy is sitting at the island with an iPad, Daria looks slightly uncomfortable, and Calvin is not in the room at all.
"Uh, guys? What's going on?"
Anna looks up, but the crease doesn't disappear. "Cal's father and his new girlfriend are here. Unannounced."
It's stupid to ask because it's obvious, but I want to make sure that I have all of the facts straight. "And ... that is a bad thing?"
"Yes. Yes because, Cal's father and mother just got divorced and... well let's just say that the situation is delicate."
Daria and I share a brief look, wondering what that means exactly.
Anna nods vigorously to herself, glossing over an explanation. "And not to mention that Cal's mom is supposed to be coming at any minute now, so this may very well be a Thanksgiving massacre instead of dinner."
Yikes.
This is definitely a problem, but the more I think about it, the stark contrast of Anna's family problems and my own family problems are so glaringly different. If it wasn't happening at this exact moment, I would laugh. I wish that mediating a holiday dinner between my feuding divorced parents was all that I had to worry about.
I snap out of it because first of all, I sound severely judgmental. Second of all, wishing your problems away never works for anyone, so there's no use in doing it. Third of all, I'm Anna's friend and I should be helping.
"Well, where are they now?"
Anna sighs and begins to wash her hands. "Cal has them in the backyard looking at the yard tools that his father recommended to us. It's random, but hopefully Cal's mom gets here soon so I can prepare her at least a little bit."
"Well, let me know if you need me as a diversion or something, because I will fake contractions in a heartbeat." Anna laughs, and it's good to see a smile on her face. "Hey, I can cry on command, so I can help too." Daria chips in.
Anna dries her hands on a dishtowel, "Thanks guys, I really appreciate it. Also thank you for your help Daria! Dinner is nearly ready because of your help."
Daria beams at the praise. Anna says she's going to take Poppy to the living room with her to wait for Cal's mom, while Daria and I offer to set the table. Anna is so distracted, that she doesn't even protest. For the most part, the dining table is set, it just needs the food and plates. Beautiful white china plates with a gold trim are stacked on the edge of the table, so Daria and I just set them at each chair. Even with the extra guests, we have enough plates to go around and then some. The beautiful herb roasted turkey is finished, but I'll leave that in the oven to keep it moist. I see a big dish with stuffing in it, so I place that on the table. I also see a giant bowl of thick orange soup, it looks like carrots, cream, with something else I can't put my finger on. I place that on the table adjacent to the fancy looking stuffing. I want to put everything on the table, but I don't want everything to get cold, so I just leave it alone.
When we're done, Daria goes to find a bathroom and I wander into the living room.
Poppy is sitting there by herself, the ipad next to her, but she's staring intensely at the television playing something called cocomelon. I sit down heavily next to her, just realizing how tired I actually feel.
"Where's your mommy, Poppy?"
Her eyes stayed glued to the big headed blonde baby on the screen. "Mommy went to find Daddy, Grandpa, and Candy." My eyebrows lift. Candy, huh? Must be the new girlfriend. I don't want to judge, but I can guess from the name alone how the rest of this evening is going to go.
"Ellie?" I turn to find Poppy watching me with just as much intensity as the tv. The emotion in her round dark eyes, surprises me. "Yes, Pops?"
"Mommy told me that one of your baby is at the doctor for a while. Is she okay?"
The question softens my heart, and I see the genuine concern in the four year old's eyes. I smile gently at her. "She is going to be just fine Poppy. She just has to get stronger before I can bring her home with me." Poppy nods, the intricate headband bobbing on her head. "Okay, what about this one? Is she okay?" She puts her little hand on my belly. I put my hand over Poppy's and move it so it's directly on where Ayla is positioned. She moves around a bit and Poppy looks a bit confused but giggles. "This one is just fine too. They'll both get stronger and stronger, and before you know it you will have some new best friends." Poppy grins. "With my new brother and sister, plus my two new friends, I'll have four best friends!" "Very good, Poppy, you're right!" I am pleasantly impressed with her adding skills. Poppy is very bright for her age and I hope that my own girls will be like that one day.
The doorbell rings, breaking our little talk. "I'll get it!" I'm closest to the door, so it only makes sense for me to get it. I struggle a bit to get up, and Poppy goes back to her show. While I'm walking to the door, I feel eyes on my back, but I shrug it off. Little did I know that Odessa had heard the conversation and was looking at me with her eyes full of pity but with a begrudging understanding and slight respect.
I open the door. On the other side stands a tall Korean woman. She has long shining black hair that is swooped up into an intricate design and she is wearing a long sleeved button up navy blue dress with black heels. Only the slight laugh lines clue me into the fact that she is older and that this must be Cal's mother! Another clue is that her dark eyes are identical to Calvin and Poppy's own eyes.
"Come on in!" She gracefully walks in and hangs up the coat she was holding. I take the opportunity to introduce myself. "I'm Ellie, and I'm friends with Anna and Calvin." She turns around and holds out her hand for me to shake. "I am Calvin's mother Sonya, it is nice to meet you Ellie. How far along are you?" She gestures to my large belly.
I smile politely. "I'm six months along with her."
Sonya smiles, revealing perfect white teeth. "That is wonderful, congratulations!"
I barely murmur out a 'thank you' when a small form runs up to Sonya and grasps at her legs. "Grandma!! I miss you!" Sonya bends down and scoops Poppy up into her arms. "I missed you too dear Poppy." This must have been quite the commotion because in the next second, Anna rounds the corner looking anxious all over again.
"Sonya! So good to see you. Um, can we talk for a moment?" Sonya looks confused, and I give Anna a look to tell her to call me if she needs me, then I make myself scarce.
I find myself back in the kitchen, wanting to follow through with the urge to put all the food on the table.
Calvin has beaten me to it.
Everything is arranged neatly on the table and Calvin is standing there, looking like he's not quite sure what to do now.
"Nice job with the table."
He waves a hand dismissively. "It was mostly you and Anna, I just plopped the food on it." He is distracted, and a little irritated.
"How are you holding up?"
Calvin sighs and pulls out a chair to sit, he gestures for me to sit next to him. I do, carefully, and once settled, he begins speaking.
He tells me about his childhood, how his parents were like one of those Disney movie couples until they weren't. When Calvin was sixteen, they separated but still decided to stay married for his sake, which he now resents. Calvin had wished that they had just both moved on and not worried about him. Now they seem to be all paying for it. Sonya and Corbin officially got divorced last year and it has been a disaster. Calvin told me all of this, which surprised me, but sometimes you just need to talk about these things.
Just as he wraps up his story, we hear the back door slam open and then a booming male voice. "Calvin, where'd you go! Is it time for dinner yet, we're starved!" Calvin sighs and gives me an apologetic look. I shrug because I already know that this dinner is going to be partly a disaster.
"In here Dad! Dinner is almost ready!"
Corbin's voice gets closer and closer until he and his slip of a girlfriend is filling the doorway.
Calvin's Dad is huge. I'm talking just as tall as Sonya, but with the addition of huge muscles. He is a Caucasian man with a shining bald head, seaweed green eyes, and a gold earring to top it all off. This is not what I expected his dad to look like at all.
I called his girlfriend a "slip" because she looks like a dwarf compared to him. Also she's young, like... a couple of years older than Daria ,young. Not trying to judge, but that's just creepy. She has dark blonde hair that's up in a pin straight ponytail and her slim body is squeezed into a bright green sequin dress.
Shutting my thoughts and skepticism away, we make pleasant introductions. Before we can lapse into awkward silence, Anna's voice rings throughout the house. "Dinner is ready!" Slowly, everyone makes their way to the kitchen and takes a seat. I find myself sitting between Candy and Sonya, which I don't know how the fuck that happened.
Anna stands and waits for everyone to settle their conversations down. "Thank you all for coming, Cal, Poppy, and I are happy that you're here! For dinner tonight I have prepared: herb roasted turkey, crunchy bacon and leek stuffing, roasted carrot chestnut soup with parsley cream, potato gratin, baked macaroni and cheese, and two thick loafs of sourdough bread that Daria helped me make and design!"
When she's done talking, I can hardly focus on anything else, I'm so hungry.
We start passing around the food, Family Style and everyone makes Anna and I go first even though we both argue heavily against it. We lose this argument of course, but I'm too hungry to put up much of a fight.
Ayla is moving around crazily, and I interpret this as her liking the food. I tell Anna as much and we all have a good laugh about it.
For the most part, dinner goes smoothly. A few snide remarks here and there from Cal's parents, but everyone pretty much keeps the conversation at a safe pace and no one does anything too dramatic. We talk and eat for hours, and before I know it, we're cleaning up. Then it's like time has lost me again, and Daria and I are on our way home.
On the drive back, my phone pings alerting me to a new text message.
"Hey Dar, can you read that to me?"
Daria picks up my phone and instantly gets a glint in her eye which clues me in on who it is a second before she reads it.
"Happy Thanksgiving Ellie. I really hope we can spend some time together soon. also, Killian says hi. Ooh, who is Niko?!" Faster than she can react to, I snatch my phone back from the teenager and try to push down my blush.
"Niko is my therapist, he's just being nice."
I can feel her narrowed gaze burning up the side of my face. "Mhmm. Just being nice. What were you saying about Zander earlier?"
Daria must sense my true embarrassment, because she let's the subject drop. But I know this is not the last I'll hear of it.
As I drive, I think about Niko's text and get a warm feeling.
Overall it was a good Thanksgiving.
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bri's interlude: it's been 5 months. 5! but i'm back! :) thoughts on this chapter? don't forget to vote, it makes my heart happy! love you guys! ❤