A/N: Well,
I hope you are prepared for this!
I felt something cold, running over my forehead and down my temples, then I heard my name being called anxiously by a familiar voice. I blinked a couple of times, then lifted my hand to shield my eyes from the bright light, that was blinding me and groaned.
"Oh thank God!", the voice blurted out and I was pulled into a tight embrace. I knew this smell and the way his body felt on mine and then I remembered.
"Gabriel!", I whispered, feeling his tension resolve and the grip around me loosen, "what's going on? Did I get hurt again?"
I wondered if there had been another akumatized villain and if I had once more become collateral damage. But that couldn't be, we hadn't even tried for weeks now, at least not since the first time we..... Then it came all back at once. We went to the school dance and the pink drink was disgusting and we came to the locker room, to have some water and we were sitting on the bench talking, when I said some things, I hadn't meant to come out so harsh. I had tried to keep him from running away from me, but then....nothing. The next I knew, was the weird feeling of water on my forehead. I noticed now, that there still was something annoyingly running along my cheeks now, that Gabriel had pulled me into a more upright position with his hug.
I reached for it with one hand and pulled the staple of wet paper towels from my face.
"Ugh", I lamented, when the water now ran down my arm to my elbow. "What happened? Did you do....no, you wouldn't. Why am I on the ground?"
I tried to sit up a little more, but the concerned man wouldn't let me.
"Slowly! I don't want you passing out again!", he said sternly.
"Again?", I wondered. So that's why everything went black.
"How are you feeling now? I would suggest, to take you to a hospital, to have you examined. I am really starting to worry. When you told me after our first night together, that you just had had the first calm weeks since you moved in, the year before, I didn't think much about it, but right now? I am not scared, you might be pregnant but rather, that you are suffering under something else. You said something about not having your period, when you're under stress, so you most likely weren't ovulating over that time either. Don't stare at me like that, I can use google too, you know!"
That made me chuckle.
"Can you just relax? It wasn't the first time in my life, that I passed out. I did, when my maman told me about my father's accident, I did, when I realized, that we were going to lose our apartment, though luckily, I made it into my room, so my mother didn't notice, and I did, when we were dancing on the after party, even though I couldn't remember at first, but over the last weeks I bit by bit did and it was the same, I was overwhelmed by what I was feeling and my brain put me into a timeout, until I felt able to cope. Just now, I said things, I....damn.....I didn't want to be mean to you, I.....I....."
Tears began to fill my eyes and I had myself worked up so much again, that I was panting and started to feel dizzy again. But Gabriel had noticed, that I was just having some kind of panic attack and just pulled me into his lap, holding me close and kept talking about everything he could think of. I didn't even listen and he knew. He went on anyway, so I not only would be able to feel his presence, but also hear his voice.
At some point, I relaxed into his arms, my breathing slowed down and I could follow his words again. They made me giggle, because he had been so desperate, trying to find any things to talk about, that he was reciting poems he had most likely learned before he could even read.
He immediately went quiet and turned his head, to look at my face. I gave him a loving smile.
"Thanks", I hummed, "how did you know, what to do? How did you know, that would be helping?"
The designer now laughed and told me, how he had come to his knowledge:
"Well, when I was a kid, we were living in a rather unpleasant part of the city and my father came home drunk almost every night, yelling, tripping, shoving us around. One time, I was looking out of the window and saw another man, who was just like him, beat his wife until she broke down on the street, blood running out of her ears. And from that day on, every time my father was in a similar mood, something in my head snapped and I went into that panic mode. It was my mother, who did the same, as I just did. She took me on her lap, rocked me, held me and told me her favourite poems, she once learned from her great grandmother, as a kid. And well, only a month later, it wasn't always my mum, but my dad too, who was holding me. After he had found out, what I was afraid of, he had stopped drinking and was the kind and loving man, we knew from before again. And later, there was a time, when Adrien had severe nightmares, and wasn't able to interact with us, as he couldn't differ between reality and dream and kept hitting and kicking us, as soon as we touched him. But holding him and saying those poems after a while always did the trick. When I saw you start to hyperventilate, I figured, it was worth a shot. The poems started to come into my mind automatically and so I just said them!"
He cupped my face with one hand and asked again:
"How are you feeling now? Do you think, you can sit on the bench, while I call for the car to bring us to the nearest hospital?"
I shook my head quickly.
"I can even stand up and walk home, but spare me the hospital please. I am still sick and tired from the last time!"
Giving him the saddest puppy eyes, I ever had done, he inhaled deeply, then nodded.
"Fine! But I'll take you home right away and you promise me to lie down immediately, no cheating! I will keep watch at your bedside!"
"Wait, what?", I frowned, "are you saying, you want me to sleep alone in my o-o-own b-b...."
I tried to swallow the sobs, but to do so, I had to stop talking.
The still very concerned man gave me a bewildered look, then asked:
"What's wrong, love? I am not trying to leave you on your own. And I am not trying to bring some distance between us. I just thought, you would like to get some sleep without any interruptions. I know, that you wake up every time I move in the night. I have noticed that, dear!"
I straightened myself a little, then snuggled against his shoulder a little more, telling him:
"It's not every time you move, it's only every time you move away from me!"
Usually I would have blushed after telling him something like that, but this time I didn't feel the heat rise in my cheeks and figured, that I was just too emotionally exhausted to do so. Gabriel though smiled blissfully, hearing this information.
"So, your body misses me that fast?", he wondered teasingly. "Maybe we should spent more time together then, instead of forcing ourselves to stay away from each other. Would you like that, darling?"
I lifted my head up and looked at him with my mouth agape.
"I am not sure, what you are trying to tell me!", I started reluctantly. "How do you think, that will be possible, without people noticing, that we are.....well, whatever we are!"
"That's actually, what I was implying. Would you like to officially date me? You don't have to answer now. Just think it through, sleep a couple of nights over it, if you must, talk to someone, you can trust. I just want you to know, that I am ready to be with you without having to hide. And I don't care about the gossip. I keep falling for you a little more every day and I want everybody to know. And I want to be able to just kiss you, when I feel like it and to hold you in my arms or just hold your hand, everywhere we go. I want to put one of those pathetic and stupid locks onto the railing of 'le pont des arts', and toss the key into the Seine.
I groaned once again.
"Please stop saying things like that, you're making me want to vomit!", I exclaimed, feeling suddenly completely overwhelmed. "Sorry, I didn't mean it like that, it's just too much, I mean, aren't 'you' usually the cold hearted, cruel fashion designer, who shows no mercy to anyone? I would really like to do all of this officially, but you are right, I need to think it through. And I need to know, why the sudden change of heart? What made you all of a sudden want to become a thing?"
He blushed and I was shocked. What could make him feel flustered right now, that I didn't already know or assume. I almost feared he would come up with some rather peculiar or even sick sexual fetish, but he cleared his throat and held my face with his hand, so I had to look at him, when his eyes found mine and he whispered barely audibly:
"I love you!"
Then he waited for a moment, probably hoping for an answer, but I was frozen in place, not able to react at all, so he added:
"I certainly hope, that's enough to answer your question!"
Oh how I hated myself just now, as I felt my stomach turn right after his beautiful confession, and somehow jumped from his lap, while muttering a "sorry", to then run or rather stumble into the closest toilet booth and just a moment later throw up all my stomach contents.
I could feel his presence behind me, before he even touched me and when he placed a hand on my back, to comfortingly rub up and down, I leaned trustfully into the touch, feeling grateful for the warmth, his hand gave to my skin.
He helped me get up as soon as I was finished and walked to the sink with me, so I could rinse my mouth and get rid of the unpleasant taste.
"Probably not the reaction you expected after a love confession, right!", I joked hoarsely, then looked up and into his eyes, while I cupped his face with one hand. "But I do too. And if I hadn't had the feeling to still be going in circles all of the time, I would have reacted very differently. But all this turning and the blurry sight just made me kinda seasick!"
He was just about to answer, when Alya and Marinette stormed into the restrooms, after they had been worried, because we were not coming back for so long.
"Everything alright?", the girl with the unique hair colour wanted to know.
I nodded, while Gabriel shook his head, making both teenagers look puzzled.
"She doesn't feel very good!", he explained, his arm still around my waist, supporting me to stay on my feet.
But I waved it off.
"You know, it's a female issue. You know, like feeling overly emotional, dizzy, makes you wanna puke...."
Marinette now replied:
"Oh, I thought, there wasn't anyone in your life, you 'liked'!"
"Why do you mention that now?", I asked confused.
It was Alya who couldn't hold her thoughts back any longer and blurted out:
"Because all those symptoms together make it sound, as if you were pregnant, girl!"
The room was instantly filled with an awkward silence, after she had spoken it out loud.
I could feel Gabriel's hold on me tighten, I saw Marinette hit Alya with her elbow into her side, while the girl, who hadn't been planning on saying that aloud covered her mouth with both hands, giving me an apologetic glare. Feeling as if I would pass out again, I closed my eyes and reached for him with my hand and he quickly took it with his free one and gave it a tender squeeze.
Now Marinette had put two and two together as well and gasped, then hissed:
"Y-You a-and y-you? B-But...you are......and Mr Agreste is......!"
"What? Employee and boss?", the agitated man now asked impatiently.
But the girl shook her head, blushing deeply and whispering something into her best friend's ear, that made the latter laugh out loud.
"She meant young and old!"
"Oh", Gabriel tried to look angry, but the twitching of his chin, which he couldn't control, gave him away and he laughed at the girls, before he got serious again. "How old do you think, I am? And don't start with the grey hair, my father turned grey early too, that's inherited!", he lamented.
"Well", the two young females didn't know, what to reply.
Then Alya tried to approach it logically.
"Actually, you have an almost fifteen year old son, and considering, that you were already an adult and married, when Adrien was born, I would say, you must be older than thirty three. But I am also very sure, that you finished school and university before you even got married, so I'll ad another minimum of five years, getting to thirty eight. How did I do? Not specifically pointing out, that even at thirty three you were already twelve years older!"
"Eleven!", I mumbled, seeing Alya narrow her brows, then nod.
"Yeah, I forgot, you were twenty one when we first met!"
"So, eleven is already a lot, but how many are really in between the two of you?", came from Marinette now. The otherwise rather shy girl, when it came to everything concerning the Agreste's, as always became very protective and confident, once she thought others in danger or trouble.
But her friend stopped her and pulled her towards the door, saying quietly, yet I heard her anyway:
"Come, it's obvious, that they had no idea. Give them the time and space to work it out, before we bother them with it!", then she turned towards us, saying, "just take her home, we'll tell the others, you weren't feeling to good, after being sick not too long ago and that Gabriel had to take you back to the mansion. But please girl, get yourself some pregnancy test and make sure!"
Then she pushed Marinette out and followed her right away.
"Wow!", I hissed, "she scared me for a moment. Good thing she's just seeing things, right?"
"Don't do that please. Let's better just go to some pharmacy and get one of those tests. If you really are, then you're at least not having some severe health issues!", he stated, a little too calm for my taste.
"Really", I ranted, "did you really just..."
I got interrupted by his lips on mine. It was just a short kis, but it instantly got me quiet.
"Let's just make sure, then we can argue and yell at each other. Or cry or break things or whatever we feel like, but first, we get that test, okay?"
I surrendered and let him bring me outside and into the limousine, telling the Gorilla, where to stop on our way home.
I wanted to object, when he send Adrien's bodyguard inside, to buy the required object, but he raised one hand, his very own signal to shut somebody up, while he lightly shook his head. Only when the man had left the car and walked into the night and day opened drugstore, he started to talk.
Nobody has seen us inside this car yet, nobody knows. If anybody recognizes him, buying a pregnancy home test, they will assume, that he has a wife or girlfriend, because he is alone and nobody is with him right now. Believe me, the paparazzi know, that we're supposed to be on the dance still. That's why I walked you to the car behind the school instead of making him come to the front doors. Though I would like to make you officially my...well.....do they still call it girlfriend?"
I nodded.
"Good, even if I would like you to officially become my girlfriend, no matter the outcome or what 'you' decide after that, nobody needs to know, to then speculate and start any rumours, before we worked things out. I thought that would be in your interest too, alright, my love?"
I nodded again and leaned against him, still being too overwhelmed by everything to have a clear thought.
Back at the mansion we stayed in the back of the car until it was inside the garage, then took the back entrance, that usually was used by the staff, to get inside.
"Shush", I whispered, as we stepped into the part, where my mother had her room too, "I don't want maman to hear us before..."
My boss agreed with "of course", as silent as he could and we quickly sneaked through the tight corridor and up the steep staircase into the atrium. From there we could be a little louder, as it was only eight o'clock by now.
Gabriel helped me out of the dress and handed me the rectangular package. Then he pecked the side of my head and turned to leave the room but I called him back:
"Wait! Where are you going? I can't do this on my own!"
The tall man just smiled and explained:
"I'll be right outside. I figured, you'd want to do the urin part in private!"
He winked at me, while he spoke.
"Oh...uhm, yeah sure. Sorry, I didn't.....I guess, I just have to....on it, yeah?"
"Read the instructions", he suggested, then left to wait in his bedroom.
"Okay!", I called out about five minutes later. I had read the instructions twice and then done as it said and was now placing the stick, that was showing one blue line, the socalled control line, on the rim of the sink.
"I can see, you succeeded!", he mused. A failed attempt to make me at least smile.
"Three minutes!", was all I responded, to what he pulled me to my feet and walked me out of here, to make me sit down on his bed,
"Much more comfortable and less stressful than staring at that thing for the whole three minutes. Just try to relax a little. I don't want you to pass out from whatever kind of stress again!", he uttered softly and laid an arm around me to pull me to his chest. I let him do so and leaned stiffly against him, keeping my head up, so I could see the clock on the wall.
Gabriel of course noticed that instantly and stood up to stand in front of me, blocking my sight. Then he knelt down and took my face into both hands, to entangle me into a very passionate and savage kiss before I could even complain.
My completely overwhelmed body reacted fast, my arms pulling him taut and I wrapped my legs around his waist. That was something I had gotten used to, or better very fond of, so I went for the sweet comfort the little make out session caused inside of me.
I even ignored the first chime of my phone, when the three minute timer went off. Shortly. Then I vigorously parted our lips, to anxiously stare at the man, who might turn out to be the father to the child I could be carrying. The answer to that was only a couple of steps away.
He took both my hands into his, to pull me to my feet very slowly, to not make me dizzy again, then asked insecurely:
"Do you want me to come or be on your own, while looking at it?"
I shrugged, then said:
"I don't know. But I think, I would like you to look and not tell me, until we figured out a solution for the worst case!", I tried to sound funny, but he didn't laugh. Neither did I. "Let's just go, I told you, I can't do this on my own, so yes, I want you to come!"
Now he smiled, wearily though, but at least he could still smile.
We made our way to the stick of destiny, as I just thought, and looked at each other, both taking a deep breath, then I closed my eyes, trying to prepare for what the test might tell.
Gabriel obviously had not taken that time and I opened my eyes again, when I heard him gasp.
He was holding the stick in his hand, the result impossible to see from my angle, and stared at it with tears in his eyes. Why would he be crying? None of the possible outcomes was a reason for 'him' to feel bad. It mainly affected me. But when his gaze fell on my face and the way I watched him, I noticed, that those seemed to be happy tears.
"G-Gabriel, t-tell me!", I begged, but he just laid the thing back on the porcelain and pulled me to his chest, then he kissed the top of my head, leaving his lips right there, while I felt his soft sobs shake him. I wanted to be there for him, wanted to hold him, but right now, I needed an answer so I tried to free myself from his grasp.
"Wait!", he whispered, "I'll tell you. If I really still have to!"
I started to shiver, when I heard his words.
"No!", I gasped, pulling away eventually, stepping backwards until I hit the door with my back, then I just ran out of here and into my room, even leaving the door open. I threw myself head first onto my bed and pressed my face into my pillow, while I began to scream. Luckily Gabriel had followed me and quickly shut the door behind me, so my screams, already muffled by the cushion, wouldn't alarm my mother. As soon as I felt the weight next to me on the mattress, I scooted closer, to feel his warmth, my hand patting around trying to find him.
He caught it and kissed my knuckles, one after the other, just waiting patiently for me to calm down. Only then did he speak:
"I know, it's a very stupid question, but still. How are you feeling right now? Not mentally, physically. I don't want any more incidents, before we talk about it, okay?"
"I'm fine!", I croaked out of the fabric. He tilted his head, observing me thoroughly. "You sure? Can I get you something? Water? Something to eat? Tequila?"
That really made me laugh.
"Yeah sure, Tequila is the one thing, that always makes me puke, so go ahead, one time isn't enough to ruin one dance night!", I said sarcastically, while I turned onto my back and stared at the ceiling, crossing my arms in front of my chest, as I felt self conscious to, as I would have liked, place them on my stomach as I usually did. I thought, that would make him think, I was doing that because of the test result, which I still hadn't seen or at least heard.
"I need you to speak it out loud!", I mumbled, "what the test said, I mean. I...just tell me while you look into my face, G-Gabriel!"
I turned my head to look at him, seeing his worried expression and felt a little bad, that I had shown such a strong reaction. But on the other hand, I was still young and had been living with my parents until recently, never depending on my own, never even been kissed. I wasn't much more mature, when it came to those things, then Adrien and his friends. Why should I blame myself to feel a little overwhelmed right now. Still there was that annoying little voice inside of my head, that kept telling me, that I had been mature enough, to sleep with a man, who could easily be double my age, I hoped he wasn't, so I had to handle the consequences to my actions as well.
But I stopped the rejective demeanor and reached out to him again, noticing him relax a little bit too.
"I am truly scared of your reaction, if I speak it out, dear. I certainly don't want you to get hurt or pass out once more, when you start running again!", he explained, but with a light smirk. "I am serious though, can I tell you, without you having another melt down?"
I inhaled deeply and nodded.
"I guess!", I breathed soundlessly.
The man was trembling, when he took my hand between his own, gently caressing it with his thumb, to then breathe in and out a couple of times.
Then he just said two words:
"You're pregnant!"
This time I didn't feel the urge to run or to scream. All I wanted right now was a hug. A very tight hug. And a kiss, And someone telling me, that everything would be okay. But I didn't say that. I just stayed there, lying on my back and stared at Gabriel instead of the ceiling now.
But somehow, he seemed to know, because he did just that and even in the right order. He laid down beside me and hugged me tightly, then he kissed me very, well, I had very different thoughts for a couple of minutes, while he did.
After we parted our lips, he just watched me for a while, then he smiled and soothed:
"No matter, what you decide to do, I will always support your decision, like I promised. We'll get through this, together. Everything will be alright very soon!"
But I shook my head and cupped his cheeks.
"You're saying all the right things, but there is one more thing, I want to hear from you!"
"Anything you want, my love!", he cooed.
I smiled lovingly and said:
"Tell me what you want!"
He furrowed his brows, obviously not really understanding, what I meant.
"What are you talking about? I told you, I will...."
I interrupted him, saying:
"I know, what you said. But if it was your decision alone, what would you want? Would you want to have this baby or to terminate....", I couldn't finish this sentence. But I kept my continence for now and waited for his answer, still looking at his face.
"I won't tell you, because, it would have an influence on your decision and I don't want you to do me a favour by deciding for or against it. I want to support your decision. No matter what!", he explained calmly again.
I sighed.
"I know, that you really want to do that, but I am asking you again, what do you want for the life we created? Do you want this baby to live or to die?", I was getting louder now, tears running down my cheeks.
He covered his face with his hands for a moment, shaking his head,while he did.
"Just say it, Gabriel!", I yelled now.
"Fine", he shouted back. Then he lowered his voice, looking at me with pleading eyes. "Please tell me what you want first. Or even better, we both write it down, so none of us can say, he was already thinking the same. How about that?"
I agreed rather quickly. That sounded reasonable for now.
I turned around a little and grabbed a pencil and an old sketch book, then held it so he couldn't see and scribble down a few words. I folded the paper and held it tightly in my hand, then handed the book to him.
"Your turn!", I said, but he shook his head.
"Now, that yours is written down, I can just tell you, right? Then you can show me yours and that's what will be countable for you decision, not what I am about to say. Okay, here we go. Do you feel capable of sitting up? I would like to...."
I nodded and brought myself into a sitting position, now my legs were crossed, while I was taking a hold of both his hands.
"Bring it on!", I tried to sound confident, while I was screaming on the inside.
"I have been thinking about this situation since our first night and I hate, that I even brought you into this situation, not even thinking about the impact on your future, when I just....I mean, I could at least have pulled out in time. But I wanted to do this so deep inside of you so much, that it didn't even occur to me. The altruistic part of me, has been regretting this every day since then. Wait, I know, what you're going to say, but I am not done yet. There is this other part of me, the one, who has fallen badly for you. So badly, that even bringing back Emilie didn't matter anymore at some point. This part of me literally hoped for this outcome!"
He smiled at me sheepishly as he continued:
"The selfless part of Gabriel Agreste was never very strong. So I am telling you now, even if I will support your every decision, if it was for me to make it, I wanted this child to live!"
With shaking hands he reached for the folded paper that had fallen out of my hands and landed right in front of his leg.
His eyes squeezed shut, he unfolded it, then took a quick glimpse, staring at it in shock.
I scooted a little closer, placing one hand on his forearm.
"Y-Y-You", he stammered, "y-you w-want to....y-you...."
He was still struggling to finish his words.
"I would never be able to just kill an innocent child, Gabriel, I think I already told you that. I maybe could have forced myself, if I had to, but, as the things seem to be now", I inhaled deeply, "I guess, we're going to have a, I don't dare to speak it out loud, but we're going to be..."
He kissed me savagely before I could say it, then he pulled back and whispered:
"Let me speak it out for you, my love. We're going to have a baby!"
Then he kissed me again. But I quickly pulled back, saying:
"I don't like it, that I am just in my underwear and you're fully dressed!"
He jumped to his feet, asking:
"Sorry darling, can I get you something to wear? Just tell me, where to find...."
But I had stood up too and laid my index finger on his lips to shush him.
"I'd rather have you without your clothes too!", I moaned huskily into the crook of his neck.
He stared down at me in shock.
"What?", I questioned.
"You passed out less than an hour ago, you threw up after that, you just found out, that you're pregnant. I am doing nothing with you, until you have had at least eight hours of sleep and a whole day without any work. And no university either. And no homework or practicing or rehearsing. Just resting for tonight and tomorrow!"
I scoffed.
"Seriously? I can agree to going to sleep, but I won't be doing nothing for the whole day tomorrow. I already wanted you, when we were kissing in your room, while waiting for the result. I am fine with just cuddling and sleeping, without clothes, but you can't ask me to stay here all Sunday, without anything to do, that could distract from wanting you to....you know. So please, I promise to go to bed right away, but let's decide tomorrow, what will be tomorrow! Deal?"
He sighed but agreed.
"Deal", he growled. "It's not that I don't want you just as much, love. I am just scared that the passing out had some severe causes and I would like to wait, so I can see, if you're getting better. You're still white as snow, by the way!"
I swallowed the cocky, ambiguous reply and just gave in. I had no more strength tonight to fight him in any way!
"Just get out of that tux and come to bed with me, okay?"
"Here?", he wondered and I shrugged.
"Yeah, why not? Are you afraid to be caught? That's gonna be an issue, if you want to make us official!", I mocked him a little bit.
"I could carry you, if you're too fatigued. And I will get you whatever you like to eat, because you need to do that urgently. I haven't seen you having dinner or lunch, because you were busy all day and then you threw up the bit that was most likely your breakfast. So, if not for your own health or to do me a favour, then do it for our little one, okay?", Gabriel begged, then knelt down in front of me and pecked my belly.
"Just to have said it, I knew, my measurements weren't wrong. Yet another reason to get you to eat. This...", he gently brushed with his hand over my very flat and very toned stomach, "...is supposed to grow, not to get smaller!"
Though I told him, that I most likely wouldn't get any food down right now, when he returned with some macarons from Marinette's parents and some of the cheese filled mini-croissants, my mother had made for the party and for our breakfast, I felt a little peckish and before Gabriel had completely undressed and been to the bathroom, I had already finished most of it, which made the man smile widely.
"See, I knew you could do it. Thank you for that!", he hummed.
"Actually, I have to say thank you. I hadn't even realized, that I was hungry. I thought, what I felt was still a bit of nausea, but as it turned out, eating stopped it completely!", I explained, then patted the mattress next to me. "Just warm it up a little already, while I go to the bathroom too, yeah?"
He nodded and laid down, waiting for me to return.