***Trigger warning****
Happy reading 💙
Livia's POV
We had a blast today.
Me,V and Char.
We shopped, tried best and new dishes, talked and talked having a full blast.
I love girl's day.
Just girls talking about our hectic schedules,clearing our minds with little amount of gossips, commenting on dresses and foods.
Just girls.
And Char, she is amazing.
I'm glad that she founds me as a amazing and interesting girls.
Returning home,I was shocked to see Zane in kitchen waiting for me.
"Hey there", I tried to start a conversation as I was avoiding Zane after our talk yesterday with V and Xander.
"I'm tired. Let's go to sleep", I called him as I started walking upstairs to room.
Reaching, I changed into pajama as I'm ready to hit the bed.
I screamed as Zane dashed into closet.
"You scared me", putting my hand on chest I tried to calm my heart.
"You are avoiding me", he was using a clutch making me sad.
"I'm not", I lied.
"Don't lie to me brat", his eyes held sadness and he looked frustrated.
"I am", I sighed catching his stare.
"Why?", He asked as he started to invade my personal space as I looked neutral trying to keep my emotions at stake.
"Are you asking me why? I'm tired of you hiding from me Zane. Why not try to talk to me? Do I have a place in your future?", I felt anxious as I'm waiting for his answer.
I was dying to ask this to him. I wanted to know. I wanted to confess my feelings to him.
How I truly feel for him?
His expression changed.
He walked towards me stopping just a inch away from me studying my face.
"What's going on in your little mind brat?", He whispered in my ear.
"I asked you a question Zane", clenching my fist to not to fall down.
"Do you want to know? Okay. You are my future brat", he kissed my cheeks as I gasped.
"What more you want to know?", He asked as I just watched him.
He pushed my hair locks fallen on my face.
He caught a strand and started twirling it with his fingers.
"What changed?", He asked again as I just stared at him.
"Speak brat", he chuckled darkly making me realise he is ready to show his side to me.
"What happened to you Zane?", I asked in a low voice.
"Me, I'm perfectly alright", he smirked gripping my waist.
I gasped at his action.
"You are not Zane. Let me help you. I wanted to know all of you. Let me in", I joined my hand with his as I came out of closet making him sit in bed.
His leg might hurt for standing long.
He just stared at me battling with his emotions.
"You will hate me brat", he sighed as I angered.
"I won't judge you or hate you for anything. I love.. ", I gasped as I closed my mouth realising what I blabbered.
He would hate me.
Damn Livia you are screwed.
"I...I...", I stuttered as he pushed me to bed next to him.
I gasped as he hovered over me.
"What did you say brat?", He demanded as his eyes glinted with happiness and mischievousness.
"I..",after gathering encourage, I circled my hands around his neck.
It's either you win or lose. But I already loss the bet.
All I have to wait for Zane to look at me. For that to happen I should be sure with my feelings and I must express to him to know what I'm feeling truly for him.
"I said, I love seeing you frustrated", I chuckled as I pecked his lips.
"You are terrible at lying brat", he chuckled too.
"My..mother...was murdered", I gasped hearing him.
"What?", I asked shocked as my heart beat fastened.
His eyes...he...his eyes watered remembering his mother.
"You don't have to.."
He shushed me by placing his index on my lips.
"I always wanted to open up to you. It's...just..now I want to..because if I didn't,I fear I might lose you", he told as he pecked my lips.
"I promised you Zane. I won't leave you for anything", I promised again.
"I know brat. This is about you. I know how much you are struggling to keep your emotions stable and trying to act normal when you are not okay. The nosy brat I know would never tolerate secrets especially from her closed ones", he teased as I smiled at him.
Yeah, I wanted to pull my hair out not knowing the secret on particularly the person I care about.
Constantly nagging and annoying feeling.
He laid next to me pulling me close to him.
He encircled me in his arms holding me tight close to his chest as I heard his heart beats beating rapidly.
He is nervous.
I looked up at his face I started comforting him by caressing his hair.
"It all started when I was five. I thought I had a happy family. Mom would feed me,caress me,take me out and that's how I met you which I was glad and father he was busy as always. Oldman will visit me and take me out. I was happy", his voice held a hint of happiness.
I stayed silent as he continued.
"But one day, mom started to look pale and that's when I noticed mom was sick. I hate... myself for not noticing it before", he stuttered at last as I felt bad for him.
I pulled him further closer to me as he snuggled into my chest.
"I...I...one day,he came home and mom cried, begged and pleaded dad. Seems like that..he..had a mistress", he gripped my waist tighter hard making me slightly wince in pain. But I didn't complain as he started expressing his feelings after years. He did not want to call his dad, dad.
"Mom, begged for him to stay. She was pleading going on her knees to give her a chance as she loves him", he chuckled darkly as I noticed the venom in his voice saying L word.
"That man..brat..that ma.n...asked mom to die...that he did not love her. He did not feel anything for her", he was vulnerable as he practically whimpered in my arms.
My tears started to flow down seeing the man I love in pain.
"And my mother....just for a man..who did not value her...died...she...she..hanged herself in front of me. All the while I begged for her to...stay with me...to be with me...I told her,I love her...and not to do this..I know mom is about to something wrong..I tried to talk to her...but...I never stopped her. All I did was watch my mother hanging herself leaving the world all because of a f***ing thing called love. She did not stopped when,her son..asked her to stop saying that he loves her....but took her life for a man....I did not stop her brat. I let her die how I watched you when you were pushed off a cliff", my shirt was wetted with... Zane's tears as I kissed his forehead trying to calm him down.
His mother is cruel. Dying in front of her five year old son...she is pathetic.
Now I understand why Zane was watching me and did not stop me.
He was paralyzed and shocked imagining me with his mother.
He regrets not stopping her. He is guilty of his own mother's death.
What pained me is he don't belive in love.
He thinks of it as a burden.
"I hate people who says love changes everything when it's not. If love would over power anything then my mother should be with me right next to me and not to die over a useless man who can't be loyal to his wife", he growled making me break inside.
"I don't believe in love brat. It took me away from my mother and it took my mother's life all blinded by a useless emotion. I'm unable to protect my own mother brat. I'm not a human. I'm just a maniac on loose. I'm insane. If I'm sane, I would have stopped my mother or called people to help her not standing like a statue watching her disappearing from me..I hate myself brat. I hate myself. I hate everything. I'm a weak, pathetic one ", he cried as I cried along with him.
"You are strong Zane. I have never seen anyone as strong as you. Love exists Zane. Your mom is pathetic. Her love for your father became toxic. There is no fault in your side.You were just a kid. She is cruel to leave you behind with a nightmare. Even if you stopped her..i think....nothing would have changed.. please...you are not weak..", I tried to comfort him. I can't imagine little Zane looking at his mother's death. It literally bleed my heart as I gulped trying to control me.
"No brat, Love don't exist. It just a useless emotion", he shouted at me as I flinched away.
Tears flowed down my face as a sob escaped my mouth.
"You don't love me?", He stopped. His body stiffened as his chest heaved up and down. He looked broken and torn. His eyes held anger and confusion.
He is struggling with his demons trying to eat him up.
"No", his one word was enough to shatter me from inside.
"It's okay. I love you",I confessed as I ran outside of the room to not to break in front of him.
God..what I'm going to do?
*****
Zane's past was revealed. Another hurdle for our favourite couple.
Question of the day?
What do you think of Zane's past?
Hope you liked this chapter!
Do comment and vote!
(I haven't seen any comments on last chapter. I'm sad🙄)
Love ❤️❤️ moniagnes