////February 20, 2016 | Malibu, CA\\\\
"I've never felt this sick," I cried. My fingers clutched the toilet bowl, my head pressed against the cold porcelain. Harry's fingers diligently pulled my hair back into ponytail.
"How long have you been like this today, baby?" Harry asked. His hands rubbed my back soothingly. Concern was thick in his voice. He had just gotten home from work, and found me on the bathroom floor, a common occurrence lately.
"Been puking for like an hour," I whine. I lean into the toilet again and gag, but nothing comes out. Harry continues to rub my back.
"Um, ok. Gonna grab you some water. I'll be right back," Harry speaks before he's standing and walking out of the bathroom. I move from the toilet to lay on the bathroom floor. Harry comes back and sits next to me on the cold tile.
"Here," he hands me a glass of water, which I gratefully accepts. My body is telling me to chug the water until it's gone, but my brain says to take slow sips so i'm not vomiting it up again in a few minutes. Harry's hand runs up and down my thigh.
"Maybe I should see a doctor? I just don't know what could be causing this," I sigh. Harry continues to comfort me in anyway he can.
"Sophie, I'm sorry for asking this, but could you possibly be pregnant?" he asks. I look up at him trying to read his expression, but I'm unable to put my finger on exactly what he's feeling. I'm sure my expression is similar as well because pregnancy is a strange topic for me.
"Um, well I don't know. It's really unlikely I can actually get pregnant Harry, I guess I didn't get my period last month but that's not uncommon for me," I try to explain. I had weak ovaries, one was fully nonfunctioning so I basically only had one left, but doctors had been telling me from a young age, getting pregnant was going to be impossible or nearly impossible for me.
"I know, but maybe," Harry sighed. I knew he wanted a baby, and it broke my heart that it wasn't certain I could give him one. We've been married for about a year and we've considered adoption so it would be a miracle if I found out I was pregnant.
"We could run to the drug store, maybe buy a few tests," I nod my head. His eyes brighten.
"Please don't get your hopes up, baby. It's pretty unlikely," I remind him. He's standing in an instance, extending his hand to help me up.
I take it and he pulls me into a standing position.
"You feeling alright, love? I can run and get one or call someone to bring us some if you don't want to be left alone," he explains. I shake my head.
"No, no. I'm fine. Let's go get a pregnancy test," I smile at him. We leave the house and get in the car. His hand stays on my thigh the entire ride to the drug store. On the way there, my mind wanders. I imagine Harry holding my baby bump, speaking sweet words to the baby inside. I see him rocking the newborn at the hospital, tears in his eyes as he looks down at his child. I see them reading bed time stories, making cookies together, I see us singing together on car rides. A smile has graced my lips as I imagine what a child with Harry would be like. A squeeze to my thigh pulls me out of my daydream and I have to remind myself that I'm probably not pregnant and should not get too excited.
"We're here," he informs me. I smile over at him and unbuckle my seat belt before getting out of the car.
We walk into the drug store and buy several packs of pregnancy tests. The lady at the checkout stand gives us a judging look, but I brush it off. Harry's hand stays placed on my lower back our entire trip to the store. I can tell he is stressing though because every minute he's running his hands through his long brown hair. On our walk to the car I look up at him.
"Hey Harry baby, it's alright. Pregnant or not, it's alright. If I am that will be so great, but if not we have other options," I assure him and watch his face relax at my words.
The drive home is fairly quiet, I fall into a daydream of having a baby again, and besides Harry occasionally asking if I'm still feeling alright, we don't really speak.
We pull into our garage and I'm quick to hop out of the car and get to the kitchen. I'm pouring a glass of water and chugging it, the sooner I have to pee the better. I grab a plastic cup out of the cupboard. I'm going to pee in the cup and just dip the tests in to make it a little less messy of a process. I'm getting another glass of water as soon as I finish the first one and heading up to our bedroom. Harry follows close behind. When I get up to the room, I'm heading to the en-suite bathroom. The bathroom has a big window overlooking the ocean. I stop and admire the view for a second, taking a deep breath to calm the nerves wracking through my body. Harry comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my body.
"Whatcha lookin' at?" he hums, placing a kiss to the top of my head.
"The ocean. It calms me down," I state, still looking out to the waves crashing against the shore. Harry nods.
"Sophie, I love you no matter what the test results are, ok?" he states. I turn around to face him. His lips meet mine in a soft kiss. "I love you so much," he whispers. I kiss him again.
"I have to pee," I break the sweet moment. He pulls away, a nervous look washing over him again. I take the plastic cup and move over to the toilet. Harry stays in the doorway of the bathroom, looking down at his rings as he fondles with them on his fingers. I pee in the cup and flush the toilet, causing Harry to look up. I open a test a dip it in the cup.
"We have to wait 5 minutes," I tell Harry setting the test down on a towel on the counter.
"I'm gonna go lay down and wait so I don't just stare at it for 5 minutes," I announce, moving past him to get to the bed but grabbing his wrist on my way to pull him along with me. We both fall down onto the bed and he's immediately pulling me to his chest. I set a timer on my phone for 5 minutes.
"I think this is going to be the longest 5 minutes of my life," he states. My fingers tangle in his hair as I admire his beauty.
"I hope I'm pregnant," I state. I had never really said my thought on wanting to get pregnant out loud before. Harry's eyes widen and soften at the same time. He grabs my hand and brings it up to his lips, placing a kiss on my knuckles.
"You'd be a great mum," he whispers. My heart melts a little bit.
"You'd be a great dad," I reply. He smiles softly. "I was thinking about it in the car earlier, you singing to the baby while it's in my belly, you holding them after their born, making cookies, laughing..." I trail off, tears beginning to spill from my eyes. Harry is quick to wipe under his eyes and under mine. He places a kiss to my forehead. Then, the times runs out.
I pull back and look at him. Frozen in my spot.
"Let's go together," he speaks, holding my hand as we walk to the bathroom. When we get in the bathroom, we both stand staring at the test.
Negative.
I can physically feel my heart breaking and I can see Harry's breaking too. His grip on my hand tightens. When he hears the sob escape my body, he's quick to turn towards me, cupping my cheeks in his hands. His eyes are red and filled with tears, a sight that further breaks my heart.
"I'm so sorry Harry, I'm so sorry I can't give you what you want, what you deserve," I cry out. Harry's thumbs move under my eyes, wiping away the tears.
"Hey, no, no. I love you so fucking much, Sophie. I— nothing could change that. Of course, I want kids, but I want them with you. Take you away and the thought of having children is 1000% less appealing," he soothes me. "I want you to take another one, to be sure. If you want of course," he adds. I nod into his chest, tears soaking his shirt.
"I will. I don't think I can right now. I need a break," I respond. He rubs my back. I can tell he's trying to be strong for me, but he's upset too. "Can we take a walk?" I ask him.
"Yeah," he chokes out.
We walk out our back door to the beach. Harry is holding my hand in my sweater pocket. Both of us have tears staining our cheeks.
"Harry, I know you don't want to upset me, but I know you're upset too. I'm your wife, baby. I'm in pain but I'm still here for you, always," I remind him. He forms a tight lip smile and nods his head. Tears fall down his cheeks again. My arms are wrapping him in a tight hug. He sniffles again.
"I just really wanted this with you, I was so hopeful," he cried. I rubbed his back and hugged him harder.
"I know baby, so did I," I agree. I kiss his lips, the saltiness of our tears on my tongue. I turn and intertwine our fingers again, shoving our hands into my sweater pocket again. I could've spent forever with his hands in my pockets. We walk down the beach in silence. The sound of the waves calms us both down.
"I have to pee again," I break the silence. He looks at me nervously.
"C'mon then. Let's get ya back," he speaks. I can tell we're both nervous. We have just calmed down from the first negative test, and all of our hurt feelings will resurface as soon as we pushed them down a bit.
We walk back to the house and walk through the back door. Harry starts towards our bedroom.
"Wait!" I grab his wrist, stopping him. He turns around to look at me. I throw myself in his arms and hug him tightly. We both sigh at each other's embrace. "I'm scared," I squeak out. His hands find mine.
"I know baby, you don't have to take another one," he reassures me.
"I want to be sure, though," I explain before I'm pulling him back to our room. Im once again peeing in the plastic cup and dipping the test in for a few seconds. Harry stays by the door again, waiting for me to finish. I wash my hands and set my timer again. We fall back to the bed and his hands are holding one of mine.
"You're shaking," he states. "It's gonna be ok, Sophie. Please calm down. I hate seeing you like this," he informs me. I take a deep breathe.
"I know it will be ok. I've got you," I smile and boop him on the nose, earning a small chuckle from him. My timer goes off. I sit up and grab Harry's hand. His other hand pushed my hair behind my ear.
"What me to go check?" he asks. I nod, to afraid to see the negative line again. I watch him stand from his seated position on the bed and walk towards the bathroom. I'm holding my breath. He disappears from my view for a moment.
"Sophie?" he calls out. I'm quickly standing and carrying myself towards the bathroom. The test is in his hands.
It's positive.
"Harry, I—" I try to speak but I don't know what to say. He gives me a hug.
"I need to take another one," I state. Not bothering with the cup again and quickly unwrap a test from the packaging and before I know it I'm sitting on the toilet peeing directly onto the test.
Harry is sitting on the counter now. I clean up and walk to stand between his legs. My phone timer is set again.
"Whatcha thinking about, pretty boy?" I ask. He looks up at me, tears in his eyes again, but this time I think they're happy tears.
"What you said earlier...about talking to them in your belly, laughing, reading them bedtime stories, stuff like that," he answers. Tears are threatening to spill down my cheeks. I lean in and kiss him.
"We're gonna have a baby," I whisper and watch the smile spread across his face. "Even if I'm not pregnant, after this, we're having a baby one way or another," I laugh through my tears. His hands find my cheeks and his pulling me into another kiss.
My timer buzzes. I look down at the test.
Positive.
"Harry, it's another positive," I let him know. His jaw drops a little bit. He kisses me again and again.
"I'm gonna keep taking tests tonight and make a doctors appointment so we can be sure," I tell him. "But, Harry, I think we're having a baby," I smile. We're both giggling and crying.
"C'mon, wanna go watch the waves and listen to the ocean," I pull him behind me out of the bathroom to the other doors in our bedroom leading out to our balcony that overlooks the beach.
He sits on a rocking chair and pulls me into his lap. My legs cross perpendicularly over his, my arms wrap around his neck, and my head rests on his shoulder. His hands go to my thigh and my back, tracing small shapes on my skin under my t-shirt.
"You put a baby in me," I laugh dryly. He hums in response.
"When do you think it happened?" he quips making me shake my head at him.
"You think it was your birthday or mine?" he asks. My birthday is late January and his is February 1. We had mind blowing sex on both of those occasions. His question has me laughing until I snort. I think I know exactly when it happened.
//February 1, 2016\\
"What are we gonna do now that everyone's gone?" Harry asks.
"Well, it's your birthday. What do you want to do?" I respond.
"You," he states.
With that his lips are on my neck, and his hands are working to take my dress off. We're still in the kitchen, we had just finished cleaning up after his birthday party. I sink to my knees while he's pressed against the cabinet.
I pull him out of his dress pants and briefs. I slowly stroke his hard cock.
"What my mouth, birthday boy?" I tease, his hands find their way to my hair.
"Fuck , yes," he breathes out. He moans when my lips wrap around his tip and take him all the way into my mouth.
My tongue runs across the large vein on the back of his dick, earning a groan from Harry. One of my hands starts massaging his balls.
The other reaches down to play with my clit. I'm moaning against him, causing him to moan as well. My eyes have stayed glued to his face this whole time, watching how his eyes stay pinched shut in pleasure. When he opens them he realizes I'm touching myself.
"Fuck, Sophie. Are you touching yourself?" he asks. I hum in response, not wanting to take him from my mouth.
"And does it feel good?" he groans causing me to moan to let him know it does feel good.
I pop him out of my mouth and stand up so Im straddling him. I align him with my entrance and sink down on him. We both moan at the contact. I begin to bounce on him.
"Sophie. Baby, I'm gonna cum," he whines. He twitches inside of me before releasing. He pants as he tries to catch his breath. I slow down and begin just gently rolling my hips.
"C'mon baby, keep going, use me till you cum," Harry urges me. Once again I'm bouncing up and down on him. He's hard again already.
"Oh god Harry!" I cry out as my orgasm approaches. My hands push together my tits in front of Harry's face. He groans and drops his head so that his face is in my cleavage. He gently shakes his head back and forth, very slowly.
Suddenly, I'm cumming. My walls clench around him making him moan out my name. He twitches inside of me before he's cumming inside of me for the second time that night.
His cock softens inside me as we sit there in each others embrace, both of us catching our breath. He stands up without removing himself from me and turns us around so I'm laying on the counter. Harry slowly pulls out and trails his fingers down my slit. His fingers draw fast circles on my already sensitive clit, causing me to cry out in pleasure. Two of his fingers sink into my entrance.
"Fuck, Harry! What are you doing? It's your birthday I'm supposed to be giving you multiple orgasms," I whine out, not really wanting him to stop.
"You did baby, it's my turn. Gonna finger fuck my cum deeper into you. Show you your mine," he groans, his own words turning him on. I toss my head back deciding to let myself enjoy this. His fingers curl inside me, hitting my g-spot every time. Before I know it, I'm orgasming again and Harry is pulling his fingers out and licking them until there is nothing left of our orgasms left on his fingers.
// February 20, 2016\\
"Remember that?" I ask.
"Fuck, how could I forget?" he responds, humming fondly in remembrance. "I came like 4 or 5 times that night. I remember you let me fuck your tits after I had already came in you twice," he reminds me. I'm giggling at his words.
"Anyway, I'm really excited to do this with you," I try to sweeten up the conversation again.
"I wouldn't want it any other way," he whispers back, placing a soft kiss to my jaw.
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Guitar Man-Bread
Lullaby- The Chicks