It was odd how people viewed their bodies. Some thought they were royalty with how their bodies looked. Others hid their figures under baggy clothes in fear of judgement. Some wanted to change their bodies completely. Others never had their's touched.
Bokuto stared at himself in his mirror, sighing.
He hadn't been touched in years.
Maybe it was a trauma response or the general dysphoria of being born in the wrong body but he just never let himself be touched.
Tonight was a different story though. He was attempting to hype himself up but the longer he stood in front of the mirror the worse he felt. No one was going to want to look at his scars and would realize that the little bulge in his pants was a packer that someone made for him instead of a penis.
This was too much.
He took a deep breath and picked up his bag. He would just try. That's all he really needed to do and he had a feeling his dysphoria would get worse if he didn't.
Bokuto headed to the door, keys in hand and slipping on his shoes. Tonight's location was the red light district of Tokyo. This was somewhere he had never wanted to go to. Men and women were treated poorly in the places more well known.
This place he had researched though and he frequently checked Kuroo for updates on the place since he had gone there so many times.
Bokuto hurried to the train station and went deeper into Tokyo, to the inner workings of the city filled with secrets. Red lights lined his vision as he walked, just looking for the name of the place he wanted to visit.
It was named "Dreamy Night", something cliche and simple for a sex shop.
He spotted the lights and went inside.
"Hello there! Do you have an appointment?"
Well. No turning back now.
Bokuto waved nervously. "Hi. I don't."
"Alrighty." The other male stood fully, stretching. "Are you looking for someone?"
"I don't know who works here but uh..."
The smaller of the two sat down at a stool behind the desk. "You do want to be serviced, right?"
"Yes- well. No. Technically. But still yes." He fiddled.
"Goodness relax I work here, if you have a weird request it won't phase me."
Bokuto gulped. "I don't really want to have sex."
"What? Honey you're in a place where people have sex. I don't understand."
Bokuto pulled a piece of paper from his pocket explaining his problem.
"Sorry! Do you want me to have the person I'm thinking may help come out here? Do you like men?"
"I do and yes please." Bokuto picked at the skin around his nails. Was he being judged? Was this a mistake?
"Stay right there and I'll go get him honey." He rushed off and returned with a tired looking male.
"Please slow down Suga, my last client didn't help with aftercare so I can't walk fast-"
Suga turned around, huffing. "Told you that guy would be mean."
The other male just rolled his eyes as he came into Bokuto's view.
Holy...
This man should not work here. He was so... so much.
"This is Akaashi! He specializes in nonsexual acts here. He also specializes in bondage so that kind of clashes- anyways. He's real gentle with his clients so don't be worried."
Bokuto gulped, nodding. "Does he know what's on the paper?"
"I do know. It's alright though, I know how to handle it." Akaashi spoke up. His voice was as soft as the material of his robe. "And don't worry, I have on clothing under this. It's just a bit chilly."
Bokuto nodded. He took Akaashi's hand as it was held out to him.
"Wait, payment." Suga whispered.
Akaashi hummed. "Three thousand yen (26 USD) per hour is my minimum. Since you're doing nothing sexual you'll get the minimum rate."
Bokuto nodded. Thank god he actually saved money.
"Alright, let's go." Akaashi led him back to his room. He was a bit farther away, somewhere secluded. At least he wouldn't be walked in on as easily.
Akaashi opened the door. "What were you thinking?"
"I'm not sure. Maybe just being held."
Akaashi nodded. He wasn't going to judge just because he was asking to be held for an hour or two. If he was this desperate then Akaashi would help. "Do you want me to wear something else? That way it doesn't feel sexual?"
Bokuto nodded. "If that's okay with you."
Akaashi opened a wardrobe and picked out a few things before walking to the corner of the room and going behind a curtain. When he came back out he was wearing sweatpants and a bit of a big t-shirt. "How are you feeling?"
"A little nervous."
"Why is that?"
"I am not used to being touched." Bokuto fiddled again. He noticed Akaashi doing the same. "Are you nervous?"
"I'm not nervous."
"Are you ever touched in a positive way?"
Akaashi chuckled. "All the time. It doesn't look positive but I always feel as if it is." Bokuto nodded. Akaashi took his hands and sat him down on the bed. "Are you always this quiet?"
"I'm usually super loud and sorta obnoxious."
Akaashi nodded. "Are you allergic to anything?"
"Latex."
Akaashi hummed. He pulled out a small bin of cookies and treats. "Here."
"No thank you."
"Are you sure?"
"Mhmm."
Akaashi put the bin down and laid back in his bed. He gestured next to him. "Come sit down at least."
Bokuto sat next to him. This felt awkward.
Akaashi looked over and smiled. "You have really nice hair."
Bokuto nodded, looking at his hands. "Sorry I'm making this awkward."
Akaashi grabbed a remote and a TV turned on across the room. "I don't mind. You're just nervous, it's natural."
Bokuto got closer and held onto Akaashi's arm. Akaashi looked up and smiled. He eased his arm up and around Bokuto and got him closer. Bokuto gulped.
"You okay?"
"Not used to being touched."
"Do you want to sit in my lap?"
"Oh no, I'm too heavy but thank you."
"I have people sit in my lap all day, It won't hurt." Akaashi got him to sit down in his lap, hands on his back. "It's okay... just relax honey."
Bokuto nodded slowly. This seemed more comfortable. Akaashi ran his fingers through his hair, smiling at him.
"Better?"
"Kinda, yeah."
Akaashi laid him on his chest, rubbing his hair. "Just tell me if you're starting to feel off."
Bokuto nodded. Akaashi just held him close, rubbing his hair. It took thirty minutes for Bokuto to relax completely, flinching when he was touched in a way he didn't necessarily like. Akaashi rubbed his back for a while, smiling.
"You are so precious..."
Bokuto shifted a bit. He took a deep breath, humming.
"Did you fall asleep?" Akaashi moved a bit, worried. Clients never fell asleep on him unless they were drunk and Bokuto seemed way too sober for that. Akaashi sat up, realizing Bokuto was asleep. He turned off the timer and rolled to his side and set Bokuto down.
Bokuto startled awake, rubbing his eyes. "Mm?"
"Well good morning. You feeling okay?"
Bokuto sat up slowly while taking a deep breath. He had felt so secure and safe and now he was awake. Bokuto looked around, trying to figure out what he should do.
Akaashi got closer and cupped Bokuto's chin in his hand. He was still smiling and seemed so calm. "Do you need anything?"
"No, that helped a lot." Bokuto hummed softly.
Akaashi sat on his lap and played with Bokuto's hair. "What conditioner do you use?"
"Uh... head and shoulders I think."
Akaashi laughed. He plopped on his bed and relaxed into the blankets. "You know there's other options that are way cheaper than a sex worker to cuddle with?"
"I know but that seems like it sucks. I want to make other people feel nice along with feel more comfortable with myself."
"That's sweet. Okay hat do you mean by make others feel nice?"
"Sex workers around here are mistreated and sometimes cuddles are really nice." Bokuto felt his hair. Why was he questioned on his hair products?
Akaashi hummed. "I do have an appointment soon that is pretty sexual and I need to get ready. It was nice making you feel better though."
Bokuto smiled. "Thank you. How do I pay?"
"Cash is fine but if you just have a card then that's okay."
Bokuto nodded. He took out his wallet. Akaashi told him the amount and he handed over the money before leaving. He got home safe and got in bed where he wrapped himself in a big blanket. That had been so much nicer than he'd expected.