Later that day we walked across town for a bit and I showed him around. I didn't know for how long he was visiting so I didn't show him everything, just my favorite places I would go to as a little girl.
As we walked, our conversations got longer, our laughs a bit harder, and our stomach even more hungry. About time we got to the deli shop we looked ravenous as he opened the door for both of us.
Taehyung had dropped Yeontannie off at the salon with his mom prior so he had nothing holding him back from having a big appetite.
"Whatever you have I'm having." He told me while I scanned my eyes down the menu. I forgot what I would usually have so I'm more open to trying something new.
I gave him a look smiling as I turned away. "Even if it's poison?" I challenged and he chuckles under his breath. Tae scooted closer to me, his breath near my ear, and I still myself.
"Kinda romantic isn't it? Romeo and Juliet."
I shoved him back laughing. The fact he can make anything seem like a flirt is beyond me and he smirked with low eyes as he look at me. His captivating eyes pulled me close yet again and I restrained myself from tipping over.
"You're a slut."
"Thank you kitty." He bowed, extending a hand out in a dramatic way to add flare. My eyes probably would've been struck by how many times I've rolled them today.
Finally, it was our turn to order and I decided on a BLT and Taehyung came to my side to tell the worker the condiments he was having on his sandwich.
We pulled out of the line and waited at the tables while the fan blew overtop our heads giving a light breeze. I took this time to interrogate him a little bit more.
"So where did you go after we all went to bed after the party? I didn't see you when we woke up." I spoke not trying to look him directly in the eyes in fear of my own demise. Tae glanced at me and looked down at the table playing with the wrapper to a paper straw. He made a ball and rolled it between his fingers before flicking it.
"It felt weird to stay around so I just dipped." He shrugged and my brows furrowed. I'm sure it was weird for everyone considering how he kissed me out of the blue surprising everyone including myself. But okay... I swished my lips around trying to plan my next words carefully and eventually gave up.
"But you kissed me, why?"
"Because I wanted to." He put things simply and I gawked at him. "I dared you to kiss me, we were playing the game."
"The game was over after my turn so technically-"
"For fuck sakes Noelle I just wanted to kiss you." He blew out a sigh then smiled. "And might I remind you that you kissed me back? If you wanted me to stop you would've done something. Don't act like you didn't enjoy it."
Oh, fuck off.
I bit on my tongue trying to come up with a fast lie but it was no excuse. We both know we enjoyed that kiss but it still lingered in the room. Too bad I can't hide it anymore, I real deal like this idiot.
My fingers danced around in my hair and I grew quiet. He took this as my answer and chuckled, biting on his lip. They called our name and he grabbed both our sandwiches and placed them on the table.
"Did you know I was with someone?" I bring up while we ate. I'm sure it was obvious to everyone how close me and Yoongi were at the party. Even after our advances on each other in the bedroom. My sandwich was heavenly and I hummed once I got a taste of the deli's secret sauce.
When Taehyung eats he eats with a pout. His lips are pursued and his eyes are fixated on what's in front of him and his hair falls over his eyes. He doesn't say anything until he swallowed his food, licking his lips rather slowly and I watched as he did so. His eyebrow raised and a corner of his mouth lifted.
"I figured it was the guy next to you all night right?" Taehyung mumbled and I nodded. "You two look cute together. Hope I didn't ruin any future wedding plans." He implied with a Cheshire cat grin taking comfort on his face.
He knew what he was doing, clearly wasn't as drunk as I first thought he was. I thought at first it was the alcohol in everyone's system that night making us do some crazy shit. But now seeing his smirk and devious eyes I blushed because he truly did want to kiss me.
But why? Was he jealous? Is he jealous? I kept quiet while I ate and spoke aloud in my head.
"Were you jealous? Seeing me with someone else that wasn't you?" I purred while taking a sip of my drink.
"Oh not at all." He frowned taking the tomatoes off his sandwich and eating them separately. "In the end, I always get what I want." Taehyung winked and I felt like casually slipping into a coffin for eternity sleep. I could never read Taehyung, no matter how hard I try it feels like when I get through a layer he just adds another wall.
"And what is it that you want Mr. Kim Taehyung." I know I was playing into his hand but I wanted to see how far I could get without any repercussions. His eyes glimmer in the light as he bit his lip seductively.
"I want many things, love." Taehyung raised his hands up and bent backward on the chair groaning as he did so. His shirt lift up showing just a pinch of skin but it was enough to set my body on fire.
When he comes back he pulled my chin so close to his face I squealed from everything happening so fast. My vertigo is terrible and I saw spots in the corners of my eyes and he just smiles while rubbing his thumb on my chin.
"You could be a part of those many things Noelle." He tempted and I have to keep my moans in order. His musk is so sweet and masculine it's like inhaling a forbidden fruit. I closed my eyes tightly.
"Fuck you Tae."
"Again? I thought you had enough of me already." He drew his lower lip between his teeth and my cheeks should be a deep wine by now. My melanated skin might show people that we can actually blush. I grimaced but in fact, my insides were screaming for him. I looked off to the wall and saw a mirror, I stared at that girl in the reflection.
She looks a heck of a lot like me and my heart pounds in my ears. We can't go back to who we were before. Not ever, again.
"You wish you could fuck me again." I spit and his eyes rounded. Taehyung looked at me and then laughed, nodding his head.
"I do miss the way you dripped for me." He cooed and I just rolled my eyes. "Such a pretty little kitty you have baby."
"You're sick."
"Be my doctor and come make me feel better then." Taehyung challenges with a bitten lip and I couldn't help but laugh. Everything I say he's going to turn it into something nasty. "I love a good roleplay."
"Eat your food and stop messing with me." I smacked his hand anyway from my chin and I pulled back. I collected my barrings and began stuffing my face.
Maybe if he sees me eating like a slob it'll turn him off. But even as I ate his eyes were glossy and soft, like he enjoyed seeing me eat so well. I glared at him long enough for him to notice and pick up his sandwich.
"Yes, Mom." Taehyung smiled, eyes turning to slits as he laughed at his not funny joke.
🙤 · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ · ꕥ · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ · 🙦
"Did you have fun with that handsome young man today?" Aunt Melissa grinned as we all sat around the dinner table for family dinner. Usually, I would have my dinner in my room with the pillows draped around my frame and the blue lights from my laptop making my vision worst than what it is—but I don't mind this.
My uncle kept quiet eating his greens and listening in with a causal ear as the ladies talked. He didn't want to interfere with boy talk.
"I did, he's...interesting." I snickered to myself thinking about what would Taehyung say if he heard this. He'll probably say some slick shit like, 'Interesting enough to get you in bed'.
"Well that's good, I'm glad to see you enjoy yourself, sweetie." She beams and I couldn't help but to feel my heart twist and turn from her sweetness.
"Do we have any plans for the upcoming holiday?" I prompted.
They both looked to each other and shrugged and I took that as a no. We don't really celebrate the holidays as much as other families might do due to the fact that every single day spent with family should be like those special once-a-year holidays. To us, it's another day to be thankful that we are as close as we are now.
"What, did you make plans with that boy." My uncle asked and my utensil dropped out of my hand.
"N-No!" I exclaimed putting my hands up as I tried my best to hide my stinging cheeks. After we ate Tae and I didn't really make any plans after that. I waved goodbye to him and watched him take an Uber back to wherever he is staying and came home with Aunt Melissa. But it's not like I haven't thought about making plans with him.
"Well, I think you should." He said, his voice simple and relaxed. Almost like he was talking about the weather. "It'll do you some good and if Melissa can't stop talking about him then obviously there's something in him that you may like."
"I don't think I'm ready for a relationship guys. My last one really broke me."
"Who, that kid you thought was gonna propose but really just wanted to dump you on your anniversary? Screw him." He huffed and my aunt reached over and grabbed his hand. When I had told them the news they were heartbroken, but no one was as ripped apart as I was. I mean I was humiliated and it ate me up for months. I was never the same person after that.
"You shouldn't let someone stop you from trying to find love."
"But what if...I don't believe in love anymore?" I slipped in just to see how they would react.
They both stopped eating and their eyes were wide. It was shocking to hear that coming from me, especially since a child I raved about having a prince charming. But it's only in fairytales those things happen.
In the real world, we're all looking for that philosophical thing that can be described as love or soulmate. We search our entire lives through many people and sometimes just try and glue ourselves to someone just because we're so tired and the illusion is coming to an end.
My Aunt is one of the lucky ones. She found her soulmate out the gate and through the years their love only grew stronger.
"You can't be serious Noelle." She looked at me, sorrowful. "Are you?"
I winced as I nodded my head slowly and she gasped. It was like telling her I failed a semester. She looked utterly heartbroken. If there was something I wouldn't want to tell her, is that. I grew timid as I played with the food on my plate. A distraction seems like my only resort.
"Ellie I know your childhood wasn't great, and your parents didn't have any clue to raise such a shining star, but there's more to pain than just the feeling of it. In pain lies the truth to all secrets. Pain pops the bubble we all grow comfortable in and shows us how raw our surroundings are.
It fucking hurts, but the one thing about pain is that it gives us an out. It shows us a path we could take compared to the one we're already on. Pain allows us to grow." My uncle said.
"B-But it hurts." I whimpered, thinking about all the things I endured. So much that even they don't know, or it'll ruin this family. "I'm afraid to go through that type of pain again."
"I know sweetie." Aunt Melissa comforted me and grabbed my hands. "You're supposed to feel everything that pain can give. And that's the hard truth. But diamonds do not crack under pressure and you shine the brightest, so stop dimming your own light."
When was the last time I thought about that? That I am a diamond in the rough? Even though my scars have stuck to my skin like glue I have an oily film that prevents me from becoming dirty. I am not clear like glass, and I may not sparkle and shine at first. But I am translucent, you can see into me but not through me.
Diamonds come in many colors: white, brown, and yellow. I am a combination of all, a mixture of the many spectrums of the rainbow. Because I can't choose which color to be so I am all. The shine of my diamond has been dimmed so low I look onyx. But I want to glow.
"Life is tough sweetheart, no one ever said it was going to be easy. People are gonna come into your life for a season and leave you without any reason, but there is a lesson to each one. But it's up to you to listen to that lesson, and deep down inside you know it too." Aunt Melissa's voice was so comforting and my throat clogged up with tears. They threatened to spill over, to show the world its shimmering drops and salty taste.
"There is no life without one another, without the beetle and bird, without the leaf or cloud. We are all born with unique talents and passions to be a gift to the rest of creation, to become a wonderful addition to the whole. And you, my dear Noelle, will find your second half to complete your whole. Just like I did." She looked to her husband and smiled, holding tightly to one another hand.
I want what they have. I yearn for what they have. A single tear dropped and I closed my eyes deeply to conceal the rest. If I could give my soul for an ounce of their love I would in a heartbeat. But I'm so afraid to let myself feel that vulnerable again.
The demons of my past still haunt me and I run because at least when I look ahead the road is clear. But the lesson my ex gave me, is to move on. Move on with me and find true love.
I need to love myself first before I could love someone else.
Even if the past is too painful to bear it's why I have friends. It's what my Aunt and Uncle are here for. Their support is what keeps me moving on, it's what keeps me wanting to breathe in the fresh air every morning. Somewhere along that line Tae may be another reason too.
"I'm gonna text him after dinner and see what he's doing tomorrow." I smiled, my brows relaxed and I could feel my adrenaline pumping.
Thank you to my ex.
Ik ik super short but aren't we proud to see Noelle's character development? Hopefully, these next chapters prove to be worth it
And doesn't it feel like Noelle is one of those bad bitches that's mentally unstable and can't make up their minds? no? just me?
PS: i told you guys this was a slow burn lmao, this shit is really realistic. verryyyy slow
L&C💕