unrevised.
/ chapter 26 /
Hatori felt so much relief to see her breathing. He dropped his shoulders and exhaled.
Tohru sniffled as she could feel her fear for Ichika's wellbeing subside. Just like Hatori she was filled with the utmost relief, but couldn't stop her tears from pouring down her face. Kyo took notice of this and reached out to touch her, to comfort her in some sort of way, but thought about it and decided drop his arm to his side before they could touch her. The solemn look on his face remained just as it did with the others as he looked away.
Yuki had crouched down, unable to stand properly from the cluster of emotions he was feeling, and rested his forehead against his knees.
Ayame had his arms crossed while his free hand covered the lower half of his face.
Shigure was silent. His demeanour was unlike his usual overjoyed self and there was no smile apparent on his face.
Ichika tiredly individually glanced to every single person that was present. The people she shared a connection with were now looking at her with heartbroken expressions, and it made her heart ache.
She shifted her gaze to the brunette who was weeping loudly. Watching Tohru cry like that when she was usually a happy girl was another type of pain.
It hurt more to realise that the person that had made her friends, her family, make those expressions was none other than herself.
Having to see her half-dead body had certainly traumatised them.
No one spoke a word. It was just a painful silence.
Amongst Tohru's weeps, Ichika finally glanced to her saviour. His expression was downcast, broken and filled with an immensity of sadness.
What was wrong with her? How could she do that to them? To him?
She had almost let go of herself.
She felt her eyes stung, and she inhaled a sharp breath. Her throat tightened.
She thought she couldn't take it anymore. The reoccurring dreams of that incident was really doing a number on her.
A couple hours ago she was with everyone eating watermelon at the lake and sharing conversation and laughter with them.
Yet here they were all gathered in the same location again, but for a completely different reason. And she was at fault for that.
"I'm sorry." She tried to say. Her voice was hoarse and it quivered.
She didn't know what else to say other than to apologise.
Ichika tried to sit up. She was helped up by Hatori who was still silent. His shock had probably silenced him, she thought, as she snuck a glance at him. His face remained unchanged as the distraught expression didn't move an inch from his face.
She then glanced down at her hands, ashamed, and knitted her fingers together.
She felt a coat wrap around her shoulders and she looked up to see Ayame had taken of his to give to her as her body was still drenched.
"Ichika," She heard her name being called by Shigure.
The Dog Spirit who no longer radiated the energy of joy had finally spoke.
"Why did you.." He started, asking the question everyone else was wondering, yet he was unable to finish the sentence. He couldn't.
She froze.
How was she supposed to answer him?
A shattered expression came upon her face as she remained silent. She dropped her head, unable to look at anyone any longer.
Because she was a monster. She answered in her head.
"Ichika-chan!" Tohru exclaimed.
She was then suddenly embraced by the brunette which stunned her. She felt Tohru's shaking arms around her and guilt ate at her even more.
She didn't realise how scared she was.
"Please don't apologise. It's not your fault." She stated.
Why wouldn't it be?
Look at all those torn expressions she put on their faces.
"May I speak to Ichika alone?" Hatori broke his silence.
The Sohma's shared a look, before nodding. Tohru slowly let go of her hold and was guided away by Kyo. They followed after the others who silently walked away and kept their distance from the bearers of the Dragon Spirits.
When they were alone, Hatori checked her pulse through her wrist. His touch was light-handed, but that was when she noticed that he was shaking.
After checking her pulse, his hand remained holding her wrist as if he had forgotten to let go.
"We should be the ones apologising." He trembled.
"H-Hatori-san, no, it's my fa—" Ichika started in a hurry, only to be swiftly cut off.
"No. It's not." He stated adamantly. "I'm sorry we didn't realise how awful you've been feeling."
She parted her lips as she tried to think of words that could refute that statement. But she couldn't think of any.
He added. "It must have been hard on you."
Her eyes widened slightly at the sentence.
Ichika stared at him in silence. Once again, her eyes stung and she felt everything inside her begin to spill out. The frame she used to hold herself up the entire time was collapsing.
"You'll make me cry if you say that, Hatori-san." She broke her silence and sniffed.
But it was already too late. The warm stream down her face had already escaped the corner of her right eye.
She used the back of her hand to roughly wipe it away, but more just kept flowing out.
Please, she begged her tears. Please stop coming out.
Why wouldn't it stop?
Her skin on her cheeks, closer to her eyes, was becoming raw from the roughness of her rubs.
Two large warm hands shot out and grabbed a hold of her own, halting her.
Hatori moved her hands her away from her face and replaced them with his own. His fingertips of his thumb lightly wiped the area that was stained with her tears.
"I-I'm sorry, Hatori-san," She said through her cries. "I'm sorry I tried to leave. I won't do it anymore, I promise. So please don't be angry with me, I promise I won't do it anymore. I didn't mean to make you, or the others sad. I—"
Hatori cut off her painful rambling and pulled her in close. He wrapped his slender arms around her body and guided her head forward into his chest.
It had surprised her to realise that she was in his arms. He was hugging her. She had never been so close to him like this before, though it was quite a nice feeling. She could feel him breathing and could hear the pretty sound of his heartbeat.
He's so warm. She wanted to stay there forever.
"I'm glad you're still here. We all are." He murmured.
Her cheeks flared with a flush, but her body slowly begun to relax. She let out a quiet breath, almost as if releasing the tension she was holding in.
She lifted her arms and gripped the back of his button-up. Then she closed her eyes.
Maybe Kami-sama had given her another chance.
Looking back to a couple years prior, she would have never thought she would have escaped the Estate. Yet look at where she was. Away from her perpetrator. Away from her unloving parents.
And it was all because of this man before her, with his hold so tight around her and whom said nothing but words her inner child needed to hear.
***
Wow. Not me crying while writing this chapter. Ichika's been through one hell of a rollercoaster D: