Song: Void by The Neighbourhood (slowed)
Caleb's POV.
My leg is shaking, bouncing under the cafeteria table like I may just create an earthquake. I keep watching Ensley for any sign of discomfort, or any sign of hurt feelings, but she doesn't show me anything that may indicate as much. Ellie is across from me, and even though I shouldn't, I keep reverting to my phone to text her. I know Ensley isn't telling me the truth, someone had said something to her before she had seen me, but she is too stubborn to tell me. Ellie might just be my only option.
I pull out my phone discreetly and shoot her a text; meet me in the library after lunch.
And then I slide my phone back in my pocket, giving my undivided attention to my girlfriend who is currently arguing with Hardin over whether a tomato is a fruit or not. Silly girl. I notice from the corner of my eye that Ellie receives my text, but I don't put any emphasis on our interaction.
"Are we hanging out after school?" Ensley asks when we make it back to her locker to grab the rest of our books. She bites her lip subconsciously and I restrain myself from commenting on it. The things this girl does to me.
"Do you want to?" I tease, grabbing her hip and pulling her to me. She blushes and I want to shoot myself. She is far too innocent for her own good, but I know how dirty she can be. Especially when she tells me to fuck her faster, deeper - snap out of it. Last night was a shock - a fluke if you ask me - but I am not complaining. The fantasies about fucking Ensley and actually accomplishing it are much different, let me tell you. She came on to me, though, I wasn't going to initiate anything, but I also wasn't going to deny her. Call me weak willed.
"Do you even have to ask that?" She rolls her eyes and I chuckle. She's a sassy one, but I love it.
"I just like hearing you say it," I whisper in her ear and she gives me a look to which I laugh. Even when trying to look intimidating, she just looks so fucking cute.
"Don't I know it," she claps back and I laugh. "I've got to get to class, I'll see you after, yeah?"
I wink. "Of course, baby, wouldn't pass it up."
Another eye roll and I chuckle to myself. I watch her walk away, admiring how fucking beautiful she is in the process. And she is all mine, I just hope the fuckers at this school don't mess it up. With that in mind, I start heading to the library where I told Ellie to meet me. She is in one of the non-fiction aisles, looking through the books. I forgot how much of a book worm she is.
"Hey," I greet her, quietly because we are in the library after all.
"Hi," she sends a small smile and turns to me. "What's up? Why did you want to meet?"
I take a deep breath. "I know Ensley was lying when I asked her if anyone had said something to her. I also know she won't tell me, so I need to know what happened. You were there weren't you?"
She nods. "It really wasn't anything awful, Caleb, just petty girl stuff."
"Even so," I insist. "Ensley is sensitive and I don't need anyone bullying her for being with me."
Unfortunately, this is just a repercussion of my actions from the past. I am no saint, everyone know thats, I have slept with about half the girls from the school alone - Ellie included - and while it is not something to be proud of, it happened. But I will be damned if Ensley gets the butt end of the stick because of it. She in no reason should be getting talked about just for being with me, let alone getting picked on because of it. Ensley isn't just a hook-up like every other girl was, she is my girlfriend and I am in love with her, so therefore if I can help the shit-talking from our peers, I will do my best.
"It was just Hope," Ellie shrugs. "She said something like, what number is she, the hundredth or something stupid. It really isn't a big deal, Ensley seemed fine."
My blood boils. Hope Rogers, I hooked up with her at the beginning of this year - homecoming I believe - and she was hard to get rid of. It was partially my fault, I had slept with her a handful of times because she was a good lay, but I definitely led her on a bit. Letting her down easy was most certainly not easy and she got real petty because of it. Her saying something to Ensley doesn't surprise me, but truth be told I had totally forgotten about her until now. I have forgotten about most the girls I hooked up with.
"Bitch," I seethe under my breath and turn my attention back to Ellie. "Is that all? She is the only person who said something?"
"Yeah," Ellie nods.
"Can you do me a favor?" I hate to ask her to do this, but I don't have much of an option, Ellie is Ensley's closest girl-friend.
"Sure," she agrees, looking a little bit skeptical. "What is it?"
"If anyone says anything to her, big or small, I need you to tell me," I instruct softly, practically begging.
There is a long pause. "Okay, I will."
"Thank you." I let out a breath and try my best to send her a smile. "I appreciate it."
"No problem," she insists, but something is off about her tone. I have known Ellie long enough now to realize a change in her demeanor and something is definitely up. I just can't put my finger on what it is.
"Are you okay?" I ask, taking a step closer.
"Y-yeah," she stutters with a small smile, taking a step away from me while she tucks a piece of hair behind her ear.
"You sure?" I persist. Ellie is my friend too, and if she needs someone to talk to I don't mind being that person. I won't push too much, though, she will tell me what she wants to.
She closes her eyes for a brief second before the emerald green is piercing my soul again. "Are you going to tell her?"
I swallow, knowing exactly what it is she is referring to. I actually hadn't put much thought into whether I would ever tell Ensley about my relations to Ellie, I hadn't put much thought into Ellie at all or any other conquests. I don't necessarily know if her being aware of it will do her any good, and that alone has me deciding on my answer. Ensley knowing that I had a - long - casual relationship with her best friend will only hurt her, and there really is no reason for that. Plus, I don't have feelings like that for Ellie and never have; I was a friend when she needed me, but other than that we just fucked. No harm no foul. Right?
"No," I state, slightly cold in my approach. Ellie flinches slightly, so I soften my tone slightly. "Her knowing about us will only hurt her, she doesn't deserve that."
Ellie looks as though she understands and offers a smile. "Okay. I'll let you know if anyone says anything to her."
"Thank you," I say again, and we part ways. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders as I head to class, everything is going to be just fine between Ensley and I.
. . . .
"You're still here?" I ask Nina as Ensley and I step into my house. My mother is baking something - of course - and Nina is at the island.
"I didn't have class today," Nina explains. "So I thought I'd change my flight for tonight."
"You can drive her right?" My mother gives me a look and I almost groan in annoyance but my lovely girlfriend elbows me in the rib.
"I would love nothing more," I respond, changing my tone by a tenth fold. "What time?"
"Eight," Nina informs and I nod. Ensley and I take a seat at the two other available bar chairs, getting comfortable because these two ladies love to chat. "So, Ensley, I don't know if I ever asked you what you're doing for college next year."
I freeze, I don't even know the answer to this and I am her best friend. I haven't put much thought into college myself, even though I should have by now. I probably will just go to community college for the first two years and then transfer out. I am not super smart so this is probably the best option, not to mention my living situation is pretty good if you ask me. My mom cooks and cleans for me, and doesn't seem to mind too much that I live here so I am taking that as a good sign.
"Well," my girlfriend starts off and my eyes dart to her, giving my full attention. "I applied to Michigan State and Central, and a few out of state ones."
She looks nervous as she says the last part and I even feel my stomach sink a little bit. Out of state? She wants to leave Michigan, leave me? Well, shit, if I would have known she applied to all these universities I may have taken it a little more serious.
"That's great," Nina beams but I interrupt on a whim.
"Which out of state ones?" I question, feeling hurt. I shouldn't of course, but just now hearing about this makes me a little anxious. Why was she hiding it? Was she hiding it or did I just not pick up on the signs?
"Caleb," Ensley tries to simmer me down so I don't make a scene in front of my mom and sister, but I feel a little out of control right now.
"I don't know why this if the first I am hearing about this," I scoff.
"Can we be excused?" Ensley asks my mother, already getting out of her seat before mom can respond.
"Of course, honey," My mom allows, giving Ens a small smile but glaring in my direction. I see who the favorite is.
"Thank you," Ensley politely responds and grabs my arm to pull me up the stairs.
"I know how to walk thank you very much," I snap, but she basically throws me into my bedroom anyway.
"Really? Couldn't tell," she sarcastically chips back. "What was that down there?"
"I should be asking you," I exasperate. "What was that?"
Her shoulders slouch. "I was going to tell you, truly, but every time I brought up college you shut down. So I applied to the ones I would want to go to."
"And you didn't tell me?" I inquire, feeling slightly betrayed. "When Hardin finds out he is going to be just as upset-"
"Hardin already knows," she sighs and I stall. Hardin knows but I don't? What the actual fuck is happening right now? Because whatever it is, I don't like it one bit. How could she apply to all these university and not tell me until now? Until four months before graduation? And yet, tell Hardin?
"Wow," I blow out a breath and look away. I shouldn't be acting this way, I should be happy that she has ambition like this and went ahead and applied by herself even though she wanted my support that I didn't give her. "Did he apply too?"
She gives me a look that tells it all. Fuck. "Look, Caleb, we didn't want it to be a secret, but you shut down. You kept putting it off, and time was running out. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but I couldn't just keep pushing it away."
My two best friends applied to colleges, together, without me. They could potentially be going off to university after we graduate and I am going to be left here. But it is my fault, I can't deny that. I did keep putting it off, kept telling her that there was no rush when there was. I did this to myself, I can't be mad at her for it, I can only be mad at myself.
"You're right," I nod, clenching my jaw. I feel like I am going to explode any second. "It's my fault."
"Caleb-" She tries to console me, but I don't want her consolation right now. I want to be mad, at myself, so that I don't feel what this actually is doing to me.
"It's fine," I try my best to seem like everything is fine. "I'll be fine."
She gives me a look, but doesn't push. "I'll give you some time. You know where to find me."
I let her walk out of my room and eventually the vicinity entirely. As soon as the front door closes, I curse and punch my wall.
Anger issues be damned.
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What do you guys think? Should Caleb be talking to Ellie like this? Should he tell Ensley about them? Is Caleb overreacting about the college thing? What is going to happen next?
Don't be a silent reader!!
Enjoy. Love you all <3
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