- Blessing or Curse -
In the train, Khun and the others discovered that Yeon and the swordsman were still alive as Urek Mazino rescued them right on the time. But as for Rak, Urek didn't know about him and it doesn't seem like he had saved Rak the crocodile.
"D...don't worry, Bam" said Khun, trying to cheer Bam up. "There is no way alligator would be dead if those two are still alive!"
"Yeah....."
Urek then asked Bam what he wanted to ask the most. Judging from the thorn that Bam had in his back, Urek was curious whether he was also an irregular or not. Urek didn't judge Bam as an irregular just because he had the thorn, but it was also because various other reasons.
Bam pondered whether he should tell Urek or not since the matter of irregulars was quite sensitive in the tower, considering the chaos and change they brought to this tower.
"Hey- wait, before you guys have a long talk..." They turned their heads around to look at Altaira. "Can I get my sister away?"
"Ah....."
Charlotte was still sleeping.
"And she must be another irregular right?" Urek asked them.
Altaira nonchalantly replied straightforwardly, "Yeah."
"Based on Christ's words, I could tell that her soul....she isn't the real owner of that body. The soul and the body are different right?" Urek asked once more.
"Yep" and Altaira casually replied as if it wasn't something strange.
Urek, "....."
He and the others weren't sure how to react on this truth.
Irregulars were a surprise already. Not to mention that this irregular before them was different. The soul inside that body wasn't the real owner of the body, but a different soul. It could be say that Charlotte was an irregular among all the irregulars....since this was probably the first time this kind of thing happened in the tower.
"I'll take her to rest first" said Altaira who took Charlotte from Khun. "When she's awake, I'll try to talk to her about things."
Bam didn't like Altaira taking away his sister. He never had such a lively and cheerful sister before. His life used to be spent in loneliness. Back then without her, he might have to suffer alone in FUG. To Bam, Charlotte's presence was extremely important that he could care less whether she was his real sister or not.
"Don't worry" Altaira assured him. "Though I can't believe there will be a day where I comfort you and as much as I don't like to say this.....this lass would never hate you. In fact, I think that even after her identity has been revealed, as long as you are willing to accept her, it doesn't seem like she will leave you for a thousand of years or more. Don't get too sad."
Bam said nothing about it.
"Ah, and speaking about the conflict that both of you are having right now....if I have to advise you, then it's better if the two of you talk things directly to her. To be honest, I would prefer if you talk face-to- face with her instead of asking me to help you. In the term of relationship, honesty and loyalty are important. But of course, decisions are all in your hands."
In the term of relationship, Altaira wouldn't say that he was an expert. But he did learn some lessons from his parents. From his parents, he learnt some important lessons and made use of them well to preserve his relationship with everyone.
"Then I'll be going first" he said to Urek and the others before he walked away, carrying Charlotte without looking back anymore.
'Well, as much as I want to separate them...isn't it the reason why I couldn't separate them? She treats them genuinely and sincerely that it is just...unreasonable to separate her from Bam and the others with the reason of her safety.
But if things keep going like this.....lady luck won't accompany her all the time. One day if her luck runs out and a disaster truly happens on her.......
What should I do?'
His younger sister- his only younger sister. She was the one who was by his side in that cold and lifeless mansion. At least because of his sister's existence, he wasn't lonely anymore.
Altaira began to think that he and Bam might have lots of similarities than what they thought. First, they cared for Charlotte the most. She gave them warm and light whenever they were lonely. If it wasn't for Charlotte, then maybe he will have a lonely life in that cold mansion. Charlotte also cared for them, even though sometimes Altaira felt that Charlotte cared for Bam more than she cared for him.
The second was that they despised each other. It wasn't a surprise anymore, obviously. And both of them were also irregulars....only that Altaira was considered as half- irregular since his soul was the only thing that came from the outside.
Even though right now Altaira appeared to be calm, but he was actually nervous and worried. Today Charlotte survived because of luck. What about tomorrow? Obviously he wasn't worried for Bam who got the plot armor. But death always come unexpected and sometimes, they come really fast.
She was an irregular. If Zahard knew about her existence, they will definitely hunt her down and attempt to kill her no matter the costs. Christ's appearance was dangerous, but it wasn't the most dangerous threat. The whole empire and the sky that Zahard owned was even bigger threat.
'Is there really no other way? Should her destiny be this hard? Have she not suffered enough?'
Irregulars were blessed with power. Even though his soul was an irregular's soul, but his body wasn't. That restricted him and became a curse that prevented him from standing on the same stage with his sister. This wasn't his first time wishing to be transmigrated as a powerful and talented irregular.
'Forget about it. It's better to focus what's in front of me first. Let's fix this brat's and Bam's relationships first before finding the way out.'
≪ ◦ ❖ ◦ ≫
By the time Charlotte was awake, she found herself lying on the bed once more.
"I feel like I've said this more than once....but you are awake."
She heard that familiar voice and turned her head around to look at Altaira who was smiling friendly to her.
After sleeping deeply for some time, Charlotte was trying to recall some things first. She wanted to recall what she had just been through and analyze where she was right now.
"......where am I?"
"You're back in the train."
"What about Mata and the others?"
"They're fine. But at the end, their memories will remain erased."
In order to make everything remain the same in the Floor of Death, Gustang chose to erase the memories of those people and Urek Mazino who had just lost one of his friends agreed to have Gustang erase Hell Joe's memories.
Maybe in that way, they'll lead better lives.
But then again, she was knocked out before she could say good- bye for Mata. Mata, that man, she knew that it wasn't a coincidence that he found them. He has been circling on that place where he once sent Hockney off, waiting for them to come back. She thought that after the mess that Hell Joe created, she wanted to ask Mata to come with them.
He wasn't a bug, but a bird. No one in this world was a bug, except for Rachel.
"But is this truly the right time to worry about others before yourself?"
Charlotte closed her eyes for a moment before she opened it again.
"I don't know why, but my body feels tired."
"Of course you are" said Altaira. "I've heard it from Khun. That old Christ broke the two of your Thirteen Chains and nearly killed you. But strangely, as you were revived, lotuses bloomed in the Floor of Death and you have a forehead mark right now."
"F.....forehead mark.....?"
He pulled out a mirror and handed it to Charlotte who looked at her own reflection.
Her reflection looked fine at outside but from her golden eyes, she could tell that she was feeling a little tired. A little tired....but worse than before.
But she ignored that thought and looked at her forehead mark. She reached out her hand to touch it.
"It....looks like a lotus.....a lotus bud....."
A lotus....what a beautiful flower, it is. The flower that blooms at morning and night, the flower that symbolizes rebirth....a sacred flower. But for what she knew, a sacred lotus is supposed to have 18 petals while her lotus forehead mark has yet to bloom.
"It's quite pretty, doesn't it?" Altaira asked and looked at the reflection in the mirror.
"Yeah....it is pretty....." Charlotte weakly said before she pushed the mirror away and turned around, had her back facing Altaira. "It's a shame that....it's not my power."
He moved from the chair and sat on the bed next to Charlotte. He patted her head and asked her, still with that smile, "Look.....are you seriously going to avoid them? Just because your identity has been revealed?"
Charlotte, "........."
She closed her eyes and replied, ".....I....don't have any other choice."
"No other choice? Are you sure that you don't have any other choice...or is that you refused to take any other choice?"
"They know my identity" said Charlotte. "These years I've been fooling them. Now that I have been caught, I couldn't stay with them anymore. Moreover, Christ is aiming for my life. If I don't leave them....he might take them as hostages like before."
".....it is really rare....to see you like this."
"......is that so?"
"I don't know whether you remember it or not...." He lifted his head to the ceiling and continued speaking and patting her head, "But back then before you enter the tower....at least before I died once.....you are really a happy girl. Unrestrained and free, you know, you are braver and more confident before you are transmigrated here."
".....that's because I haven't realized how cruel life could be" Charlotte replied. "No....I have realized them. How father and mother treats me.....how I lost the people whom I love for the first time.....how I slowly changed from a positive and naive girl into a depressed person who is tired of life.....come to think of it....I've grown up a bit, don't you think?"
"Certainly not in a good way."
"Good way or not....at the end, I've grown up.....no matter whether I like it or not" said Charlotte again.
".....people always thought that you are a lively and naive person....but many of them failed to realize....that even someone who is used to fool around and making chaos.....will have lots of problems and dilemmas inside you" Altaira spoke up. "I've known it ever since you refused to tell me the reason of your death....that you are no longer the same blunt person.
From the outside, yeah, you're very good in acting that some people are deceived. But unfortunately for you, I'm your older brother....the one who has seen you soar high on the sky and fallen to the mud....your acting doesn't work on me."
Charlotte smiled a bit.
"No wonder I couldn't gain your sympathy with those abandoned, poor puppy eyes skill. You've always see through them."
"And I know right now that you are very lost."
She closed her eyes again.
After several moments of silence, Charlotte spoke up again.
".....brother....do you know that.....I've actually imagined this moment to come once?"
"Is that so?"
"But.....among all the solutions I come up with.....I don't think that it will work" said Charlotte. "Brother....I am someone with high pride. I will never bow to someone unless I want to. But in the same time....I'm a very sad person, depressive and inferior. It isn't because of my pride that I couldn't look for them now.....but because of my inferiority.
Brother....I never thought that I'm a lucky person, you know. I've lost people who I love at such an early age.....I've encountered with so many accidents in my life that those accidents started....started to affect me. I'm really scared....scared that one day I will completely change....that I won't be able to return to whom I used to be.
Then.....one day, Noah saved me. He saved me and give me this new body. I thought that this is a blessing.....that I might be able to restart my life...to reborn again. But now that I look back to the past....is it truly a blessing? Or a curse instead?"
Resurrecting or reborn wasn't always a good thing. Even though you were fortunate to be reborn again with the memories of your past, but sometimes, the death that you suffered before you were reborn might leave some traumas at you.
Charlotte was afraid that after the accidents and incidents that she had been through, she might change into someone else, someone whom she didn't want to be. She was afraid to not be able to go back or return.
Maybe this was why Meng Po fed people with forgetful soup in a certain bridge. Usually, after drinking the soup that was prepared by Meng Po, one will be able to reincarnate without the burdens of previous life.
Altaira said nothing about it. Of course, he understood her feelings. He also died once. When he found himself reborn or transmigrated as a baby, he was terrified and afraid. The memories of him dying remained vividly in his memories and whenever he recalled them, his hands would tremble slightly.
Yes, it might be a blessing. Being afraid of death is natural and to survive from it is a blessing. But in the same time, it was also a curse.
"But.....to think of it right now....that question is useless." She reached out her hand to the sky. "At the end, everything was shattered. I could never escape from the past. It has been my shadow right?"
Now, there was no chance for her to have the second life that she wanted. It has been shattered and completely destroyed.
Charlotte tried to sit down on the bed, making it easier for her to talk to Altaira. Altaira helped her to sit down on her bed and she crossed her arms on her knees.
"Brother....do you think.....Bam will hate me? Will he, Khun and the others hate me for hiding my real identity and deceive them?" Charlotte asked.
This day was a nightmare for her. She had always imagined that one day her identity will be exposed and she was afraid that the moment will be destroy everything she had.
Khun was right. She took things too lightly and easily trusted others. He had always warned her but she didn't listen. She was confident because she knew which character could be trusted and which couldn't. But Charlotte wasn't just a character. She wasn't mentioned in the manhwa. Charlotte couldn't understand her thoughts, motive and real personality.
Altaira understood very well that what made Charlotte ended up in this state was because of her dishonesty. She had expected to be figured out yet she wasn't honest with her identity which led to the incident this day. She knew that Bam wouldn't blame her, but what about her pride and dignity? She knew her place, she knew her limits, she knew the line she shouldn't cross. These three things made her lost right now.
Perhaps it was because she was too sad that she wasn't aware that there were people eavesdropping at outside. At the end, Bam was too worried of his younger sister that he took this step. The door wasn't really closed anyway. They still could see and hear clearly what happened on inside.
Endorsi didn't need to come. But she was curious. Therefore, she followed them as well. She, Bam, Khun and Noah were watching Charlotte and Altaira. Khun wondered why Endorsi was there when she wasn't needed.
"They won't hate you" Altaira replied without hesitation. "You weren't conscious at the time. Therefore, you don't know what happen. But I heard from Khun that Bam chose you than Charlotte."
Charlotte was still doubtful.
"But I've deceived them. How am I going to face them after this? Or....should I leave them quietly?"
Noah quietly used his vein to prevent Bam from running inside.
"Don't" he whispered and Bam bit the bottom of his lips.
"Right now, they must have found me as a strange person.....I don't think I could talk to them normally again."
"You leaving them is the last thing they want" Altaira said. "If you don't believe me, then you could ask them directly."
That line made Khun alerted. He wondered whether Altaira noticed their presences or not. If so, who knows what that man will do to revenge on them for eavesdropping.
He had said to them that ever since Charlotte met them, their time for brother and sister relationship had been decreased. It was rare for him to get one know but with some outsiders eavesdropping out of worry and curiosity.
Charlotte snorted, "How am I supposed to talk to them? Are you even listening to what I said? Even if they don't hate me, they won't see me as who I am now. Will they find me shameless for behaving like their real friend and sister? I'm really afraid that they will hate me."
Altaira looked like he was pondering about Charlotte's words before he said something shocking.
"That's right. Those guys are actually narrow- minded people. That Endorsi is a short- tempered little princess. Noah is a pampered boy who couldn't live a second without his sister. As for Khun.....humph, when it comes to Bam, he will lose all his rationality within a second. And Bam isn't good either. I mean-- after everything he has been through, he would actually give the woman who has been hurting him and you a chance to climb the tower? I would have killed Rachel to prevent further troubles."
He sighed and closed his eyes, face palming himself. The people who he mentioned were the regulars at the outside, eavesdropping at them. Hearing Altaira's words, they started to come up with a hundred ways to torture this man.
Ah, correction. They have long wanted to throw this man to snake pit or send him straight to hell. They were just thinking how to make the process slower and more painful than one could imagine.
Endorsi wanted to get inside. Personally, Noah wouldn't mind having Endorsi beating up Altaira until Celeste couldn't recognize him. But he still had some rationality with him and risked his life to hold Endorsi back and cover her mouth. Khun had to help with it.
Khun didn't understand why Altaira said those words. Wasn't he supposed to defend them? He strongly believed that this half- brother of him noticed their presences and said those words to provoke them.
And he didn't stop just right there.
"Now that I think of it, that old sister of his just need to act pitifully and he will be confused. Ahh- to know that he won't be able to protect you, what a waste of your eight years more supporting him. At the end, all the kindness will be repaid by hatred--"
Bam couldn't hold it any longer and then he barged inside before Charlotte could say any word to defend him. He destroyed the green veins that Noah made to hold him back and slammed the door open.
"Don't listen to his nonsense! I'm not that kind of person!"
Charlotte was shocked to see Bam and the others while Altaira, on the other hand, his lips curled into a smirk.
"Charlotte, I won't betray you. You know it right? No matter what, I'll stand by your side!"
Charlotte, "............."
Instead of being touched, she felt more confused and shocked that her mind became blank instantly.
Altaira crossed his arms, "I see. So you guys been eavesdropping on our conversation right? How educated of you."
Khun snorted, "You know damn well that we are outside worrying about her. You purposely left the door slightly opened so that we'll eavesdrop on you guys. And then, you took the chance to mock and insult us to lure us to open the door and reveal ourselves."
"Ohohoho- I'm not a cunning mastermind like you." He raised his arms in defense. "I'm just an ordinary and naive regular. What kind of trick could I possibly have?"
Khun didn't believe his words and scoffed.
Charlotte thought that what Khun said might be reasonable. But why would Altaira do that? He knew that she wasn't prepared to see them now. She hugged her knees even tighter and bit the bottom of her lips. She began to think how she should escape from this situation.
"Well, I'm leaving the rest to you guys. Consider that as a punishment for eavesdropping. I'll be checking on Celeste first, for her mood seems to be down after you guys encounter Christ."
He walked away and closed the door, leaving them together in the same room.
≪ ◦ ❖ ◦ ≫
Author's Note:
Meng Po or the Old Lady Meng is a character in Chinese Mythology. It is said that she serves soup in the bridge on the River of Forgetfulness. With this, the souls of the dead could reincarnate without any burdens from their previous life. The deceased will reincarnate based on their karmas.