“Whoa, Whoa! Hold your fucking horses! You want me to what?”
Now some people would take that dialogue and think that it was an overreaction. It most certainly isn’t though, considering what Max has just asked of me. Without meaning too, I start pacing back and forth. His menacing words finally starting to sink in. The full effect of what was just asked of me, hitting me like a mactruck.
~.~
The house was dark when we walked in, Jay still guiding me with his hand firmly in mine. Slowly, my eyes start adjusting to the dim lighting. Relief flows through my body as I realize that everything seems to be fine. No broken pictures, vases, or clothes sprawled everywhere. It seemed, well, normal. Well almost too normal, if you ask me. I mean these five boys, they don’t listen. No matter how much you yell and scream, well it just doesn’t compute in their brains. When I told them not to horse around, I really thought that someone would’ve went against what I said. And when one person does it, the rest follow. They’re like a pack of wild dogs, totally untamed and smell just as bad most of the time.
“Jay?”
“Yeah love?”
With a small tug he slows down to a stop. Slowly he turns on his heel to look down at me, my heart speeding up with a glance at his endless blue eyes. Shaky breaths escape as he brings his hand to cup my cheek like he did when we were outside. Effortlessly, he lifts my head making my eyes travel up his face until they land on his yet again. A small smile etches it was across his face, making my heart start to slow and melt. Seeing Jay like this brings me back to the day when we were nothing more than friends. Before I found out his feelings for me, and ultimately making my already difficult life harder than it needs to be.
“Rebbeca?”
“It’s just that… I’m sorry. So, so, sorry Jay; I realize that the way I left it must’ve been hard and we-“I’m cut off by a bone crushing hug. It should’ve been uncomfortable but it wasn’t, it was far from it. The way he arms wrapped around my body, holding me close was something I was aching. His familiar scent filled my nose, as he buried his head into my hair; leaving small kisses to soothe me even more.
“We’ll talk about it later okay? Max is waiting.”
Well then, that didn’t go the way I planned. But nothing really does for me. An apology, that was going to be so heart felt and all in the moment was just kind of smashed down with a foreboding ‘Max is waiting” this can’t be good. Whenever your older brother is waiting for you, it can’t be a good thing. The first thoughts to run through my mind are whether or not Andy called him. Telling Max about my more than amazing manners that I displayed tonight.
We finally enter the living room and everyone except Jess isn’t there, making my palms start to clam up. If Max sent her home, this can’t be good seeing as she’s been here through everything. Especially when Sam and Lauren decided to go back to the states, well she was there when I needed her the most. And for that I’ll be forever grateful. Without her, well I probably wouldn’t be the fun loving girl I am right now!
The silence in the room is foreboding, and all eyes land on us and our linked hands. I don’t make a move to release his, but grip tighter. The feeling of four pairs of eyes burning into the side of my head makes a shudder run through my body. He returns that pressure and guides me to the center of the room. Taking a few shaky breaths, I attempt to calm my nerves. My body and mind preparing themselves for the onslaught that is about to hit me like an elephant stampede.
“Hey Rebbeca, how was your date?” The calming Irish voice makes a small smile replace the frown that was once there. Shifting ever so slightly to the left and take him in. His hair looks darker than usual, but that’s obviously due to the dim lighting. His dark eyes seem to sparkle in the sparse lighting, making my heart warm slightly at his demeanor.
“It was, um, interesting. I guess you could say? Definitely something I probably wouldn’t want to relive.” At this small chuckles are heard as Jay releases my hand and saunters over to the chair, casually sitting on the arm with a smirk sprawled across his face. Glancing at the others, they seem a bit antsy, almost a bit on edge if you ask me. But you didn’t did you? Finally Max stands up, his full height of five foot seven seeming much taller than it actually is.
“Hey Beccy.”
“Beccy? Um no Max, that’s just a no.”
“Whatever… We- Erm I mean- I – need to ask you something. Now what I’m about to ask you may seem crazy, and completely well insane. Because to be truthful with you it is, but we discussed it with management and we think it’d be a great idea an-“
“Max, just get on with it would you?”
“We-I-Er. We’ve all agreed, including management, that you should come back to London. So will you?”
~.~
“Whoa, Whoa! Hold your fucking horses! You want me to what?”
“Rebbeca calm down.”
“Ohhhh NO! I will not calm down! Are you fucking mental? All of you! I refuse to go back to London, especially with you lot! I’ve finally started coming into my own here. I have a job; I’m going to school and let us not forget… I NO LONGER GET HATE FROM THE FANS! How can you even think, for a second that I’d want to go back to London?”
Silence. It seems to happen a lot when I don’t want it. Usually, I’m quite keen on it being quiet, especially after living with these morons for so long. But now, after everything I’ve just said I get looks. You know what, not even ‘looks’ but a look. It’s a look of pleading, a type of look where they’re begging you to consider even all the options that are set out before you. What even gave them the slightest idea of hope that I’d want to go back with them, is just so confusing. After everything that we’ve been through, they’d think I’d go back. Now that I have everything that I needed, they wanted me to go back to that hell hole? And for what, to please management?
“Rebbeca, please listen.” Tom pleads, hopping off of the couch and rushing over to me. Stopping to look at him, his eyes show a different meaning into me returning to the house. While arching an eye brow at him, he wraps an arm around my shoulder and ushers me off to the kitchen. Our feet patter in unison, until we come to a final stop in front of the silver refrigerator.
“Rebbeca?”
“What Thomas, if you haven’t guessed it I’m still peeved so make this quick.”
“I will, but promise to listen carefully?” I nod in consent as the words start spilling from his mouth. “Alright listen Becc’s, to be honest I think this whole idea of you coming back is just as fucking crazy as you. We both, okay we all know your history with Nathan, fuck the whole world does. The thing is though, he did his best writing while you were in the house, and now well he’s shooting blanks to say. Nothing creative has come out of the little sloth face since you left, and we have an album that’s supposed to be released, well last month. Rebbeca, Nathan was in love with you. He truly was, but something changed inside of his dumbass fly brain that made him lose you and his talent. If we bring you back, well according to management, his talent will magically appear again. See what I’m saying? When you went out with Andy tonight, Nathan was the most surprised of all when we found out you were still here. Given we all knew Max knew something, and we had our suspicions about Seev. But Nath, Jay and I, we knew nothing. So seeing you, well maybe that sparked something. Anyway, I’m getting off point. When you left, the first thing Nathan did was call management and told them you were still around. Making it very, very, clear that he wanted to speak to them as soon as possible, much to the dismay of Max. We put the phone on speaker afterward and all had a deep and heated conversation. The truth is, we all miss you and our best times were with you Beccs. And some of our greatest hits, such as “I Found You” were based on you. We need you Becc’s we really do. Without you, hell we’re shit. Okay so we’re not but you see where I’m going with this? And think about it, you can fuck with Nathan all you want. Basically play him like a game, and a great, long and challenging game at that.”
His reasoning made sense, actually complete sense. It seems that Thomas has done his research in the small amount of time that I was there. From what Max has told me, Nathan has been producing shit in the way of writing. To be honest, I thought it was from the fumes of fake tan clouding his judgment but maybe I was wrong. Maybe it was me? Granted, ‘I Found You’ has become huge! Bigger than ‘Glad You Came’ and ‘Chasing the Sun’ which is a big deal seeing as one of them went triple platinum; but me being the inspiration, now that’s bizarre. Yeah, when they first preformed it Nathan directed it at me and well that could be taken anyway. I thought it was because well we were together but maybe it was dedicated to me, as a thank you?
While reeling over all of those possibilities, another thing Tom says jumps out at me. “And think about it, you can fuck with Nathan all you want. Basically play him like a game, and a great, long and challenging game at that.” That honestly had to be the best thing to fall from Tom’s mouth when he’s not singing. I’ve never been known as much of a player, even when I was ‘dating’ Logan. He ended up playing me in the end, but being the controller of the pawn? Now that’s something that is definitely something that is attractive. I’ll be the commander and chief, the one that controls the outcome of the game. But would I be able to do it? To be honest, I don’t think so. Plotting and I have never been hand in hand, as again the tale with Logan has shown. So having the opportunity could make everything worse than it already is.
I miss the lads, I really do. Seeing them tonight, even Nathan, has put me into better spirits. The news was bound to come out that I still resided here in the UK, and now they found me. So I still won’t get the peace that I wanted, seeing as they all now know where I am. Can you see it now, having all of them just pop over whenever the pleased? Yeah, the ride is long as hell, but we all know that wouldn’t stop them. These fuckers get what they want, and will do whatever it takes to get it I suppose. Still the thought of going back is scary, knowing that I’ll be in the same house as Nathan again. Will it be like it was at the beginning? Punches to the face, and pride from both sides that was painful for both of us. The thought of having to go through that again, well it’s not appealing. Now though, I’ll be stronger and know what to anticipate. Which is always a plus, having a slight upper hand in this world.
Without warning I spin on my heel and storm from the kitchen, leaving a cursing Tom trailing behind. I’ve made my choice, whether they agree with it or not too bad. This is going to be best for me in the long run, at least that’s my reasoning for doing what I plan. This is all for me, and not for them at all. Even though I know they aren’t going to see it that way, but for real. It’s all my choice, no one has influenced my decision.
“Okay, here’s the deal” The hushed murmuring is silence once I enter, arms crossed and hip jutted out. Their eyes land on me, my demeanor demanding there attention, and once Tom enters the room I release a held in breath. “Okay again here’s the deal. I’ve thought it over, and it may have not seemed like for a long time but I’ve actually been thinking about this for a while. I miss being in London with three of my closest friends and my brother. You guys really helped me finish growing up, no matter what I went through. And yeah, I’ve been considering visiting though it never happened because I was a coward. I was afraid to see y’all after everything that happened. I was afraid to face the fact that I hurt you all for being the naïve girl I once was. Having you ask me to go because management wanted me to come back, well that was a bit painful, it made me feel like you don’t want me back. And maybe you don’t but too bad I suppose. This is a chance for me to grow up more I guess and that’s what I plan on doing.” Cheers erupt from the group as they finally caught up with what I said. They didn’t let me finish which makes me smirk a bit when I clear my throat. The cheering quiets as all of them do their famous eye brow arcs and good boy faces. “You didn’t let me finish. They are going to be terms and conditions for me moving back in with you morons. First of all, I’m not dealing with the fans hating me anymore! So get on your twitters now and announce that I’m coming back. Also, I’m no longer going to be supported by you lot, I’m going to find a job and continue to go to school and play footie. Max don’t even start, these are my terms and conditions. Another thing, I’m always here for you if you need to talk, but don’t you dare wake me up in the middle of the night. I would like to have a room next to Max, or Siva. If that doesn’t work out than a room next to Jay or Tom would be lovely. I also don’t want anyone to bring up the past unless I bring it up myself, seeing if I want to talk about it. Make sure to clean up after yourselves and leave me out of all of your drama. I’m willing to make this work if you all are.”
“You forgot something important love.”
My eyes shift towards Nathan as he stands up, lifting his arms above his head to stretch. With an overzealous eye roll, I acknowledge his statement with a scoff. He responds with, what some people would say, an ‘award winning’ smile. Tossing my hair off of my shoulder, I wait for him to finish.
“You forgot, well me in this whole equation. Which isn’t very nice if you ask me, but you didn’t though did you? Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I was hurt you left me out of the whole scheme of things.”
“Oh, I did that purposefully. I want nothing to do with you, so for now I’m just gonna pretend that you don’t even exist… So which one of you four want to help me pack?”
~.~
Okay so this chapter was just shitty mcCrap! I hated it to be honest, but I needed a mini filler after that drama that went down with Andy. Sooo what did ya’ll think? Rebbeca going back with the boys and forgetting all about Nathan?
BAHAHAH yeah, we can all see how this is going to go ;)
THANKS OH SO MUCH FOR GETTING ‘LOSE MY MIND’ SO MANY READS!!! I honestly never thought that it would be a hit like it is!!! YAY FOR FANMILY LOVE!
I know most of you also probably don’t like One Direction but, I am writing a Harry fan fic called “Playing The Player” ;) It’s gonna be good and hella funny. Showing off more of my personality then Rebbeca already does!
PLEASE COMMENT AND CRAP WHILE I WRITE AND REWATCH OLD MANCHESTER UNITED GAMES PLEASE?!?!?!?! I mean you don’t have to but, it truly does mean a lot.! I love reading your inputs on the future and it also helps me with writing new chapters. So please do us all a favor and comment the shit of the chapters.
Love you all! <3 Dinosaurs <3
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