Note : I'm so happy to say I'm in a much better place now- mentally and physically. I have school in a month so I doubt I'll be able to update a lot but I am glad to be coming back here and reading all the comments that piled up from my months of absence. Thankyou all so much for the support and for still anticipating updates.
I can't believe this now has 80k reads! Thank you all so so much, not only did this fic help me improve writing, but it was also something I had during tough times. No need to get all sentimental now- I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS MUCH AWAITED UPDATE! <3
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HARRY IS SUPPOSED TO LEAVE TODAY WITH DUMBLEDORE TO DESTROY A HORCRUX. I am worried but it's not like I can come with them. All I'm left to do is wait for them to return and hopefully it'll be good news.
I have faith that they'll be just fine.
My tosser of a boyfriend managed to survive until now with zero survival instinct and lack of wit, he'll be fine, surely.
I'm jesting. I don't know how to properly cope with all these emotions.
"You look quite constipated, mate." Ron commented, making Hermione let out a sigh of disappointment and shut her book closed.
"Wow thanks, Ron," I sarcastically replied. "You ought to look like it when your boyfriend is about to go on some dangerous mission. Aren't you worried?"
Ron shrugged. "He's Harry. He'll do great."
Either Ron was overestimating Harry, or he just has too much faith on his best friend.
I ignored him just as Rose took a seat next to me.
She looks- different. I know every time we see her she seems to be worse and worse- similar to one blond Slytherin, but right now she appears to be better. Healthier, even.
"Do I at least get spoiled if my boyfriend dies today?" I joked, nudging her with my shoulder and she forces a smile.
"Oh my god Rose-" Hermione didn't finish panicking.
"Don't worry, he'll be fine." Rose assured us and I felt my nerves ease. That's all the assurance I need- wait, she said he'll be fine. Not that he'd be unharmed. I wanted to pry some more but then Rose tensed beside me.
I followed her line of sight and she appears to be watching Malfoy. I exchanged glances between them, she's looking at him with so much sadness in her eyes. Are these two okay?
Nevermind- no one is ever truly okay here.
I left the Great Hall for some alone time and ended up in the lavatory where Moaning Myrtle resided. She's fortunately not here, and so I let out a relieved sigh. Turning the faucet on to splash water on my face.
Rose assured me he'd be fine. There's no need to be so nervous but a nagging feeling kept clawing at me at the back of my head. Something ominous and unpleasant is reaching out to me, begging me to indulge in the darkness.
Something bad is about to happen and I need to be prepared.
But I'm quite literally still a student, with my knowledge lacking. That little encounter at the ministry will prove to be nothing once the war actually takes place. I always worry about Harry and my friends but now I'm taking a moment to worry about myself.
What if I make the wrong judgement and it costs me my life?
Bloody hell, I'm too young to die.
With the panic settling in and my thoughts beginning to race, I felt the darkness take over and I am once again in another memory.
The fourth memory right after the third one? I didn't expect it to come to me so soon, I can never figure out the pattern in which the necklace lets me see the memories still. And it's not like I can ask anyone about this when I'm keeping it a secret.
I looked around to find the girl and Sevy, realizing I'm in the black lake. Well, near it and the two kids- appearing to still be third-years are sat next to each other leaning against a lonesome tree.
"Hogsmeade was fun." The girl said.
"Yeah. Let's go again next time."
"I lost you for a moment in that gift shop, what did you do?"
The boy grabbed his book bag from beside him and began digging in, he pulled out a small box and handed it to the girl without saying another word. The girl accepted it and opened the box, I approached them closer to peek inside with her.
That's -
"A necklace, for me?"
The boy nodded, giving her a grin and she pulled the necklace from the box, admiring it with her eyes twinkling in awe. That's the necklace I'm wearing right now. It looks exactly the same.
"A lily?"
She asked, putting it down to stare at her friend with a question in mind.
"A white one too, why?"
"Because white symbolizes purity and peace does it not? I thought it best suited you."
"That's extremely sweet of you. Thank you."
"You're always welcome."
"I vow to never take it off. I'll cherish it forever."
But she didn't and I wonder why. She did take it off, keeping it locked away in the room of requirements with all these memories stored in it to be long forgotten. Why?
This is probably incorrect but a small part of me believes that she stored these memories in the necklace and locked them away to keep herself from cherishing this person. What did he do for her to force herself to forget all their good memories and only keep the bad ones?
I've abandoned the thought of them ending up together. I can see it was far too platonic in her view, I still can't ignore the way Sevy looked at her, however.
I continued watching the two children and felt my heart clench at the way he looked at her while she kept her eyes on the horizon, admiring the point where the sky meets the lake.
It's heartbreaking seeing them be so cute and on good terms when I know these memories are probably stored in this necklace for a reason, that she had most likely forced them out of her to keep herself from holding unto them.
I wish I knew more.
I felt my consciousness return to my original body and saw Moaning Myrtle's transparent face inches away from mine. I pushed myself up from lying on the bathroom floor and got up with a groan.
"Sorry to turn you down, Myrtle, but I'm taken." I joked and she huffed.
"Good, you're awake. I can flood the bathroom again without worrying of drowning you." She crossed her arms and I smiled at that.
"Thanks for not drowning me I guess," I then pushed myself up before she actually floods the bathroom and I'd have my robes wet. "I'll be going now."
Myrtle called out to me, bidding me goodbye just as I heard loud water running and walked out of there. I looked out and found the sun is setting and I must have been out for quite a while. Hermione must be worried.
I walked around the castle grounds, taking the route to the Gryffindor common room, and entered to find Hermione jump at me. I almost stumbled to the ground from the shock of her sudden action.
"Godric, Hermione!" I yelled and stepped back.
"I'm sorry I was worried when you were gone for hours," She apologized and frowned. "I've been feeling weird all day."
I nod at that. "Me too, I can tell something is going to happen but I can't know just what it is."
"Could it be Harry?" Ron asked, appearing behind Hermione to join our conversation, and I drag them over to a corner in the common room for more privacy. Speaking in whispers.
"No, I'm sure. Rose told us he'll be fine- it's something else and I can't quite put my finger on it." I let out an annoyed huff.
"Whatever it is, we'll handle it." Ron smiled, trying to assure me and I appreciated the sentiment.
"I agree," Hermione nods. "Somehow, we always do."
"Just promise me we all come out of this alive." I told them, feigning a threatening tone in my voice. Being all sentimental is kind of weird and I don't deal with it well. "Promise me that I won't have to bury a friend."
Hermione gives a determined nod.
"We promise."
***
Night fell and the odd, unpleasant feeling only got worse. I couldn't even eat dinner. I just sat here poking my food and tuning out the loud chatters in the great hall. Dumbledore and Harry are still not back.
Godric knows where those two are right now but whatever they're doing I hope it's going well. They better come back bearing good news, I trust Dumbledore would protect Harry.
I was only snapped from my dazed state when Rose settled next to me. She feels very stiff and very hesitant.
Opening and closing her mouth quite a few times before I dropped my fork and turned to her.
"Spill it out." I told her impatiently, my nerves are not doing me a favour. "Please."
Rose lets out a sigh before complying. "Whatever happens tonight, whatever you find out and hear- just try to keep an open mind. It will all be for a reason."
I stared at her with a puzzled look, she gives me a sympathetic smile.
"It will only get worse from here," She told me, and for a moment I could swear I saw her eyes glow like gold- or that must just be the lighting in the great hall. "Keep this in mind, Lily. . ."
She trailed off and I held my breath in anticipation for what she's gonna say.
"Dumbledore was never a good man, he had good intentions, sure. But he's not as great a man you all believe him to be."
I made a face at that. What does that even mean?
"It doesn't matter what he is- not after tonight anyway." Rose rambled, shaking her head and I reached my hand out to place it on top of hers. She's not making much sense or I'm too stupid to get anything she's saying.
"I don't understand." I replied.
"I know, and I'm sorry I speak too much in riddles," Rose lets out another long sigh. "But those memories you're seeing won't do you any good, they're not yours and it's not wise to let something foreign inhabit you."
I blinked. She knows about the necklace.
"What do you know about the memories?"
She parted her lips to speak but this time I'm certain it wasn't the lighting of the great hall and her eyes glowed as bright as gold. Her dark raven hues were glistening and it died down as soon as it appeared.
"I have to go, I'm sorry, Lily." Then she got up to run out the great hall, leaving me too stunned to follow.
I have never seen a seer use their power or even receive vision but something tells me that wasn't just because Rose is a seer. There is more to this but there's no time to pry my friend open when I heard the commotion brewing in the hall.
"What's going on?" I asked when I saw Ron run towards where I sat, Hermione trailing right after him. Both out of breath and panicked.
"The dark mark appeared, the death eaters must be in the castle."
Bloody hell.