The following day, Emma was back at home. She stopped by the deli from the hospital and she could not believe her eyes. The creamy interior with drawings of barn swallows was gone. The walls and floors were blackened by the smoke and fire, parts of the ceiling had caved in, there was shattered glasses everywhere, dried blood and broken furniture. A horrible scene.
"I don't feel comfortable with you skipping school because of me." Emma told Jay who was seated next to her on the couch.
"Pfft. School sucks ass anyways. Everything is getting difficult now and exams are in two months. Sickening." Jay complained.
"Honestly, I would not mind finishing and leaving this town for a while." Emma said. After what happened to the deli, the idea of leaving town with her entire family was not a bad one.
"Let's just run away together. From here to Mykonos, Mykonos to Dublin, Dublin to Tuscany and finally, Tuscany to Cape Verde." Jay said.
"The Jay and Emma world tour!" Emma exclaimed and chuckled.
"Hell yeah!" Jay laughed.
Emma looked at him, sighing as she was about to temporarily ruin his happiness. There was something she needed to tell him.
"Ray is back." She confessed.
Jay's smile turned into a frown accompanied by a pale face.
"What? Ray is back? As in here in Summerville?"
"Yeah, he is. He was the one that pulled Peter and I out of the deli." Emma said. Those words did not even make sense to her.
"He saved you?" Jay asked.
Emma nodded slowly remembering what Ray said about Emmett needing her. She looked at his picture that was on the wall. This was her chance to tell Jay that Emmett was his brother. The words were stuck in her throat.
"I know this is crazy but I have to thank him. I don't know what I would've done if I lost you last night." Jay expressed looking at Emma with teary eyes. He gently touched her scalp wound with his shaky hand.
"I love you, Em." Jay confessed.
Emma felt herself freeze. Something about the way Jay said those words made her realize it was not coming from a place of friendship. It was deeper than that and it scared her.
Jay started to lean in close and then he placed a kiss on her lips.
Emma closed her eyes and she could feel her heart banging in her chest. The kiss deepened but Emma felt nothing inside of her. No excitement, or relief. There was a part of her deep inside of her that waited for this moment to confirm whether or not she had feelings for her best friend. She had her answer.
"Jay, we can't...." She whispered after breaking the kiss.
Jay looked at her with lowered eyebrows.
"Why? You are not with Marcus anymore."
"It's not about Marcus." Emma responded and let out a shaky breath.
"I love being your best friend and I don't want that to change."
"Just my best friend?" Jay asked. "Fuck.. I'm so stupid." He continued and got up.
"No." Emma tried to say.
"I'm sorry, Emma." Jay said. He grabbed his jacket and walked out of the front door.
Emma sighed. This was something she was hoping would never happen. Her friendship with Jay was very important to her and she did not want anything to ruin it.
She was going to let Jay be for a few hours and talk to him later about what happened. She was hoping he would process this properly and it would not change anything between. She did not want to lose.
*
The day went by and Emma tried reaching out to Liam but he was not picking up. She felt he was avoiding her and she did not know why. She was not sure whom to talk to either because Liam was not close to a lot of people on a personal level. But there was someone she could try.
"I was surprised to hear from you. I didn't even know you had my number." Adelaide said after exiting her car and approaching Emma. The two girls were meeting in the empty school parking lot.
"Believe it or not, I prayed before calling. I needed some sort of strength." Emma retorted. As expecting, this interaction was already starting off on a sour note.
Adelaide fake smiled and crossed her arms as she stood.
"What do you want?"
"We need to talk about Liam." Emma said. "I don't think anyone else knows him like we do."
"Okay? What about him?" Adelaide asked.
"He has been different right? Scarce? Barely talks anymore?" Emma listed.
Adelaide cocked her head to the side.
"Hmm. I thought I was the only one who noticed his shift in energy. He even misses school sometimes now and that is not like him. Just the other day at lunch, I grabbed his fanny pack thingie to try to find some sweets and he nearly chewed my head off."
"What? I know he keeps his medicine in there but that seems a little strange." Emma said. She never knew Liam to act out of character even if something was going. He was always so open and honest.
"Unless he is keeping something else in there." Adelaide stated.
"Something else?" Emma asked.
"Drugs."
Emma was not sure she heard right. She needed a second to process what was just said to her.
"Drugs?! Adelaide come on now. You think Liam is on drugs?" She asked in disbelief.
Adelaide shrugged.
"When news about the drug packet that was found became public, he kept asking me questions about what my dad knew or what they were going to do about it. Why would he be so invested if he had nothing to do with it."
"There were a thousand other people at that event." Emma defended. She did not want to believe Liam was involved in drugs.
"Well the only way to find out is if we get our hands on that fanny pack but since that seems rather impossible we will have to break into his room." Adelaide suggested.
"Whoa... that means breaking into the sheriff's house." Emma said. "Are you trying to go to jail?"
Her conversation with Adelaide was escalating to crazy.
"Do you have a better idea?" Adelaide asked, hands on her hips.
Emma was quiet. She was still trying to connect Liam to the drug packet.
"Thought so. We can talk when you are back at school." Adelaide suggested. She started to walk back to her car but stopped.
"I'm sorry about what happened to you and your family's deli. You guys had great ham sandwiches."
"Thanks." Emma said with a small chuckle. A friendly chat with Adelaide was not something that Emma saw at all. But they two girls both loved Liam deeply and they needed to work together to try and help him.
If he was indeed involved with drugs, then that was going to be a very difficult situation to work around. Emma was hoping something else, less dangerous was going on.
*
Marcus's truck was parked in Emma's driveway as she approached it. She was not expecting to see his car or him pacing back and forth on the porch.
A part of Emma was happy to see him at her house, the other part reminded her of the pain he caused her. She exited her car.
"Hi." She said.
Marcus's eyes grew wide.
"Shit." He mouthed. "Hi."
Emma drew her brows together at his reaction. He seemed surprised to see her which was funny because he was on her porch.
"What are you doing here?" She asked.
Marcus looked at the front door and then back at Emma.
"I... well. I... I am sorry that I did not come to the hospital when I first heard, I heard you were okay so I ran to McCollumford to see Peter instead."
Emma nodded slowly.
"It's okay." She said. She was not sure if it was and she was slightly jealous that Marcus ran to Peter's side, but given that she and Marcus were on a break, it was understandable.
"I was not sure whether you wanted to see me hence you finding me on your porch. I was scared you would chase me away. I'm really glad you didn't, and I'm also glad you're okay." Marcus expressed.
Emma smiled. His genuine concern for her warmed her heart.
"Thanks. And I'm happy to see you." She told him. Suddenly, a wave of unfathomable sadness washed over her. She was not sure where it came from but maybe it was because she knew Marcus was about leave or maybe it was everything that happened thus far. She was not sure which it was but her lips started to tremble and she covered her face as she started to sob.
"Hey." Marcus said as he ran over and hugged her. "It's okay now."
Emma shook her head. She could barely utter any words as she cried. It was not okay. None of it was. She hugged Marcus tighter and continued to cry.
Her brother was not her father's child, the deli was destroyed, Jay fucked up their friendship today and Liam was possibly involved in drugs. All of that hurt Emma, and she wanted the pain to go away.
*
The next day, Emma was back at school. Many of her schoolmates seemed to be happy that she was back because they waved at and greeted her in the hallways and it made her smile.
She was in good spirits. Crying in Marcus's arms last night was something she needed. A lot happened to her in the last couple of months and she never processed the shit storm. She pushed it to the back of her mind and attempted to move on which was a mistake.
"Hey." Marcus said approaching Emma. She opened her locker.
"Hi." She chirped with a smile.
"How are you today?" Marcus asked.
"Good." Emma answered truthfully. "Thank you for being there last night. I really needed a friend."
Marcus smiled.
"Of course."
Emma needed a favor.
"This weekend, is it okay if we drive to McCollumford? I want to go see Peter." Emma asked. Although she heard he was okay, she wanted to see him for herself.
"We? Yeah sure." Marcus said.
"Great." Emma smiled and closed her locker. "I'll see you Saturday then."
She loved that she was in a good place with Marcus even if it was just as friends. His kindness and gentleness was why she fell in love with him in the first place.
He brought out the best in her and she missed those versions of them.
*
The rest of the school day went by. Emma and Josslyn ran into each other in the hallways but they did not speak.
Emma was expecting an apology from Josslyn for keeping Marcus's secret but it seemed that apology would never come.
Emma was not going to make the first move. She was the one who got hurt.
"Emma! Hey!" Ethan called out in the parking lot.
"Hey." Emma said, approaching her car.
"Have you seen Jay today?" Ethan asked. "I've been calling but it's going straight to voicemail."
Emma cringed internally as the memory of Jay kissing her replayed in her mind. She did not like how she handled it either.
"No. I haven't spoken to him." She said. She thought it was wise to have some space between them, to recover from the mutual embarrassment of the incident.
"Can you try calling him? Maybe he will pick up your calls." Ethan suggested.
"He won't ." Emma told him. She knew Jay would avoid her like the plague until he was ready to talk to her.
"Something happened between us and I'm sure he is still processing that."
"What happened?" Ethan asked.
Emma was not sure whether to tell Ethan but he was also close to Jay so maybe he could help him through it. Ethan did after all fake having feelings for her to protect Jay.
"He told me he loved me, and then he kissed me. I told him we could not be anything more than just friends."
"Shit." Ethan said and ran a hand through his hair. "Emma... I have to tell you something and this is the reason why we need to go see Jay ASAP."
A pit quickly settled in Emma's gut.
"What is it?"
"Last time you and Jay had a falling out, he tried to kill himself." Ethan revealed.