unrevised.
/ chapter 17 /
Ichika swallowed thickly as Akito stepped closer to her. From her peripheral vision, she could see Tohru's big brown eyes looking at the both of them nervously. Maybe she heard from the others what Akito is truly like. Would he scream at her? Hurt her? That was what Tohru was probably thinking.
But it was fine..
As long he didn't touch Tohru. That was all that mattered to her.
"Hello, Ichika." Akito greeted, his smooth feminine-like voice uttering her name and his eyes looking down at her like he always did.
Akito stood slightly taller than her, standing at 5'5 whereas she was smaller than him by a tad bit.
"H-Hello, Akito.." She hesitated to reply.
The God side glanced Tohru with a knowing look before glancing back at Ichika. She visibly tensed at the action.
Akito's face plastered with a fake smile as Ichika silently begged for him to leave her friend alone.
He then leaned forward wrapped his arms around her body, which caused her to stiffen even more. He rested his chin on her shoulder and squeezed her tightly. Almost painfully.
"I've missed you, Ichika." He stated.
The bluenette grew pallid. She was frozen on the spot and didn't know what to do or what to think. She wanted to scream, to push him away and run as far away as she could from him, but she couldn't. Not when Tohru was there. She knew Akito would take advantage of her vulnerability.
"Why are you here?" Ichika queried him.
She felt him tense before he pulled back from her but still kept his hands on her. He knew immediately what she meant as he glanced over to Tohru and looked her up and down.
"No reason. I was just saying hello—" He answered, before leaning closer to her ear and whispered, "— to your friend."
He spat the word friend out like venom as the feeling of disgust almost swarmed his face, almost slipping up his kind facade.
"More importantly, Ichika," He placed a hand on her face, and the fingernail of his thumb grazed the skin on her cheek. "Why did you guys skip our New Years celebration? Why didn't you, nor Yuki, show up at all? And when I've become so generous lately, too, letting you stay at Shigure's knowing full well the kind of monster you are."
Her eyes watered as she silently listened to his words.
Both Yuki and her had decided to miss out on the annual Sohma celebration for New Years. Yuki had his personal reasons, and Ichika didn't want to relapse. She was happier staying at home and celebrating with just Tohru, Kyo and Yuki.
Because for the first time ever, she didn't need to feel alert or uncomfortable. She would rather stay by Tohru's side, who had been nothing but kind to her since the first day they met. Going back to the Estate would make her condition worse than it already is.
"Do I have to hurt you to reeducate you, Ichika? You know I hate hurting you. I would hate for it to come to that point." He lied into her ear.
Akito's version of educating wasn't normal. It wasn't gentle. It was punishment and hell. Sometimes the result would leave her being unable to make out a few sentences or even respond properly to anyone who spoke to her. Her head would go into shock, and she would just sit there and stare at nothing but the floor for days on end until the effect stops by itself.
The thought of it happening to her again exhausted her. It was horrible.
Ichika's eyes widened. She felt another piece of her shattering when she'd been trying to hold it all together the past few months.
All of a sudden, Akito was moved to the side. He was pushed by none other than Tohru, who had the expression of fear but also a hint of anger.
"I-I'm sorry. We have to leave now." She excused.
Ichika caught the expression of anger rushing towards Akito's face, but before he could let it explode, he quickly overpowered it with a fake smile.
"Oh, right. Sorry. I should go back to the others. They're probably worried." He finally said.
With one last glance at Ichika, he smirked and walked off.
Tohru made sure he had completely left before she turned her attention to Ichika.
"Are you alright, Ichika-chan—" Before she could ask the bluenette her wellbeing, Ichika collapsed to her knees, unable to stand.
Tohru gasped and was immediately at her side.
"I-I'm sorry.." Ichika teared up as she shakily held her head.
Tohru had never seen her shake so much before, and this caused her to be filled with worry. She had no idea what Akito could have done to Ichika, and still didn't know much of her story, but the way he affected her told Tohru a lot.
And it made her sad.
How could he hurt her that bad to the point she could barely stand in his presence?
Was it like this.. for all of the Zodiacs?
Did they suffer this much?
She couldn't imagine half of the pain they've been through.
The brunette reached out and hugged Ichika tightly to herself as many questions popped up in head one after the other. She said nothing but hold the blue-haired Sohma, who slowly begun to weep sorrowfully.
Her quivering voice echoed and became hoarse as she cried her lungs out.
Tohru didn't know what to say, no, more like she knew she couldn't say anything. It wasn't right to tell Ichika that things were going to be okay, because she didn't know if it will be. All she could really do was be there for her, to listen to her, to hold her.
The brunette's heart ached as streams of tears fell down the Sohma's eyes. She swallowed as her throat constricted, and her eyes, too, welled up in tears as she listened to her friend. She squeezed her brown eyes shut painfully.
For the first time in a while, she felt helpless.
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"I'm sorry, Tohru." Ichika quietly apologised, before rubbing her swollen eyes. "I cried like a baby in front of you. How embarrassing."
Tohru glanced at her.
They had moved to one of the benches after Ichika had calmed down.
"Please don't apologise! I.." Tohru bit her lip and carefully chose her words. "..I think you needed to."
Ichika laughed slightly, a small smile played on her lips. "Maybe you're right."
The two girls sat quietly on the bench, both comforted by the silence. But after a few moments, Ichika decided to break the silence.
"Did you know why I moved to Shigure-san's house?" She asked.
Tohru pondered for a moment. "I don't know the full reason, only that Hatori-san appeared with you one night and you were extremely cold and injured and he had decided it was best to keep you with us."
Ichika smiled sadly.
"If it wasn't for Hatori-san, I would have died that night."
Tohru eyes widened as she continued.
"M-My parents locked me in a shed for hours on end as punishment for being exposed as a member of the cursed. They were embarrassed of me. I had nothing warm on, and it was a cold night. I would have died from the cold before I could even make it out of the shed."
The brunette slapped her a hand over her mouth. "Why would they.. do that?"
"Because they hated me. They hated that I existed." Ichika eyes teared up once again and she tried to hold them back. She lowered her head to hide them. "I needed to get away from the Estate. Because if my parents couldn't break me entirely, Akito would have."
"Ichika-chan.." Tohru whispered sadly.
"Akito took a lot from me. But when I was able to finally escape his and parents' clutches, I thought 'maybe I'll have a new start to my life', but I was wrong. I thought I got away from him, but he's still here. His chains are still there, he still has me under his thumb. Nothing of me has changed. I'm still the same weak person I was when I lived in the Estate."
"...Ichika." Tohru called, and Ichika glanced up to the girl who sat beside her. "That's not true."
Tohru smiled warmly at her.
She continued. "You could have run away when you realised Akito was with me. But you didn't. You stayed. You protected me. You're scared of him, but don't you realise, Ichika? The fact that you stayed is proof that your change has already started."
Ichika was stunned, as Tohru's words repeated over in her head like a broken record and it hit her hard when she came to the realisation.
Her rosy lips parted as she stared at the brunette.
Never in a thousand years did she ever think she would meet someone like Tohru. Why was she always comforted by her words? She always knew exactly what to say.
She touches the heart of everyone around her and is filled with unconditional love and acceptance. Even for people like Ichika. Even if she didn't deserve it.
She knew she didn't deserve it. Tohru was a pure person, so pure that it felt like the purity would hurt to touch. She felt like she would taint it.
"Once she finds out who truly are, she'll turn around and abandon you!"
She remembered those painful words.
A part of her was still scared to accept Tohru's kindness. She hated how she was still doubtful towards her, but she couldn't deny Akito's words. After all, no one but him and Ruki had ever seen her true form. She'll make sure it stays like that.
But..
Even though she planned to put up a wall around her, she still felt a glimmer of something inside her. Waiting to bud. This glimmer of something was slowly growing inside of her, and grew bigger any time she was around Tohru.
Ichika abandoned the thought of it a long time ago. But was it possible?
Was there a way to end this hell?