A/N: hey y'all! I'm just experimenting with the pov pictures, so that's why they're different in this chapter. Happy reading! ♡bri
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November 15, 2020
"Wake up El."
I open my eyes to see my husband cradling our baby. His emerald eyes sparkle in the early morning sunshine. Our daughter fusses in his arms, and seeing him tend to her makes me feel... strange.
Not in a good way.
"Morning. How long has she been up?"
Harry gently rocks her before setting her down in the bassinet. He walks over to the bed and sits next to me. "Not long, just a couple of hours. It was great bonding time for us."
Bonding time. My rage claws at the back of my mind, wanting to be released. I hold out my arms out to Harry and he looks surprised. After throwing me a cautious look, he hugs me.
"That's great Harry. I'm glad you two are bonding."
As we embrace, I force my body to relax and I rest my face in the crook of his neck.
Another feeling slowly begins to creep up along with the rage as I think of everything my girls and I have been through.
Because of him.
Hate combines with the rage and I finally release the hold I've had on such feelings.
"Harry?"
Harry pulls back enough to look into my face. "Yes El?"
"You have to pay."
Confusion clouds his features. "What-"
Suddenly, like magic there is a knife in my hand. It glints in the sunlight for a moment before I plunge it into my husband's abdomen.
Shock and betrayal litter his expression, but all I feel is glee at his suffering.
Now he knows how I felt.
Now he knows.
I take out the knife and plunge it back into him over and over and over again. Hot blood splatters across my face, and I lick the corner of my lips, letting the metallic taste fill my mouth.
Soon my hands are dripping in it. When I make a fist, the blood squishes through my fingers like play dough.
I faintly hear my baby wailing but-
nothing else matters except this.
When I feel sated enough, I still my body and stare into my husband's lifeless eyes. The once sparkling emerald is now a dull and muted green.
Everything is now quiet as I sit on the bloody sheets of my bed. Fully surveying my work, I throw back my head... and laugh.
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I wake up gasping. My heart races, my body full of adrenaline, and my baby moves around wildly inside of me.
I try to calm myself down by taking some deep breaths. Once my pulse has gone back to normal, and Ayla has calmed down, I sit up slowly. Only then do I allow myself to think about that dream.
I go over every aspect of it, trying to convince myself that it has a deeper meaning. But it doesn't. I simply killed Harry.
The thing that makes me feel weird is that... I actually enjoyed the dream. Like, sitting here right now, I feel somewhat satisfied.
I feel satisfied that I stabbed my husband, tasted his blood, played with his blood, and stared into his dead eyes.
That is disturbing as fuck.
I think it's time that I seriously talk to someone. No more excuses, no more pretending that I'm fine.
I pick my phone up off the nightstand and I dial a number.
"Hello?"
"U-uh, hi Niko this is-"
"Ellie? How are you doing?"
I fidget with my sheets as I talk, suddenly feeling unsure. "I'm... I'm ok. Do you have any openings for a session today?" He pauses for a moment, as if he's surprised that I'm actually asking him for once.
"Yeah! How does 1 o'clock sound?"
I look at my clock on the wall. It's only eleven, so I have plenty of time. "Sure, that's fine. Um, could I make a request?"
"Sure, Ellie."
"C-could we do it at my house?"
Niko is silent for so long that I start to tell him to forget it. "I usually don't do house calls, but I'll make an exception."
"Really? Thank you so much, Niko. I'll text you my address."
"Okay then, see ya soon."
After hanging up I leap out of bed and start to get ready. I find myself wanting to look nice, but I don't look too deep into it.
I shower quickly, but take the time to rub bio oil on my stomach. My belly has popped out so much, I know that stretch marks are going to come sooner than later. The doctors told me that my stomach would still grow as if I'm still carrying twins, but actually seeing it is a different story.
The amazing thing is, is that I'm in love with my body. My body housed my baby and is currently housing the other. How could I not love that? I no longer feel self conscious about my thighs, boobs, or my generous behind. I want to actually enjoy this pregnancy because I don't know if it will ever happen again. So I don't have time to stress out over the little things.
After rubbing oil and lotion on my body, I finish up my morning routine (which includes taking my heart and prenatal medication).
When that's taken care of, I find myself standing in front of my closet, staring at each and every item.
The need to look nice is still there, but my tiredness is outweighing it. I settle on a baby pink crop sweatshirt with matching sweatpants. The lower half of my belly is visible, but it looks cute.
I use gel to slick my waves back into a ponytail and I put in a pink bobby pin to hold the flyaways in place. I put on thick gold hoop earrings, a gold heart chain choker, and the gold python necklace. I leave my face bare, wanting to take a break from makeup.
Once I'm satisfied with my appearance, it's time to eat.
As I walk through my empty house, a bit of loneliness creeps up on me. Daria is at school and then she's going to have a sleepover with her friends. We've been hanging out constantly over the course of this week. So I don't blame the teen for wanting to spend time with her friends outside of school.
Liam is gone as well. But with him, something feels off. Five days ago, he told me that the construction site was having an emergency and Odessa couldn't handle it by herself. I'm not selfish, so I told him to go.
The weird thing is, when I ask him about the 'emergency' he gives me a different answer every time. He also doesn't stay on the phone long and when we text, it's short and to the point. I'm trying not to jump to conclusions, but this kind of feels like the last time when he was mad at me.
I don't trust him. I love Liam, but ever since last time, that unwavering trust has mostly evaporated.
Closing my mind off of all thoughts about Liam, I focus on what I'm going to eat.
I haven't really been craving anything specific lately, so I just stick to my standard breakfast.
Brown sugar cinnamon oatmeal, spinach tomato cheese omelet, and a green smoothie.
I hate to eat in silence, so I put on Joji's latest album and let it flow throughout the house.
When I'm finished eating, I clean up quickly. Feeling a bit anxious, I flit around the house and tidy up. It's not that messy, but I just want everything to look perfect.
Before I know it, my doorbell is ringing.
A shot of nervousness courses through my body as I walk to the door. I wait for a beat, then I open it.
Niko's leaning against the doorframe with a polished smile on his face. His deep blue curls are a little messy, but it looks good. He's wearing a grey sweater, blue jeans, boots, and an open black wool coat. He has a clipboard and some books in his arms, which makes me wary.
"Hey Niko, come on in."
I step aside as he comes in and I close the door behind him. When I turn around, I startle as his arms wrap around me.
Why is he hugging me?
I'm a bit stiff at first, but then I relax into it. Eventually he pulls away. "It's nice to see you Ellie. How have you been?" Not sure how to feel about what just happened, I turn away and walk to the living room, knowing that he'll follow.
I sit down in my favorite armchair and watch as Niko settles on the couch across from me. I'm surprised again when he puts his clipboard aside and focuses all of his attention on me.
"I've been... not great."
He nods. "Want to elaborate?"
My heartbeat starts to quicken at what I'm about to share with him. I place my hands on my belly to calm myself.
"I had a nightmare... about my husband." Niko's eyebrows raise slightly, but besides that he doesn't change his neutral expression.
I keep talking, afraid that if I stop, I won't get up the nerve to say it again.
"I only call it a nightmare because when I woke up, I was filled with adrenaline. But... I wasn't afraid. In fact, I found that I kind of enjoyed it? Okay, no. Enjoyed sounds wrong. More like satisfaction."
"That's a bad thing?"
I sigh. "Yes. Yes because, I dreamed that I killed him and took satisfaction in his bloody demise."
Niko keeps his poker face steady, but I register the surprise in his eyes.
"What else happened in the dream?"
My eyebrows dip. "What do you mean? Isn't the main event the only important part?"
"That part is important, yes, but so is everything else. Just tell me what you remember."
I'm not sure how this will help, but he's the professional here not me. "Okay, well the dream started with me waking up. I woke up to him holding and rocking our daughter. He put her down and told me that he'd been bonding with her. I don't know, but hearing him say that triggered it."
"Triggered what?"
"The rage. After that I tricked him into hugging me and once his guard was down, that's when I consistantly stabbed him."
This is when Niko grabs for his clipboard and furiously scribbles things down. "I see. Anything else you can remember?"
I clearly remember the taste of Harry's blood, but I don't want Niko to think I'm too crazy, so I omit the blood parts. "Well, as I was stabbing him my baby was practically screaming in the background but I ignored her. When I was done, everything was silent."
Niko writes more down before setting his pen and clipboard down completely.
"Do you still love your husband?"
The unexpected question whisks the air out of my lungs. I stare at Niko, feeling mild disbelief, but I only show cool indifference.
"That is the second time you've asked me that question."
A hint of a smirk tugs at his lips. "It is. Do you intend to answer it this time?"
That little ghost of a smirk makes me feel the familiar pinprick of annoyance akin to when I first met Niko. "What makes you even ask me that? Like what makes you think that?"
He pauses and I think he's not going to tell me, but then he begins to speak. "Dreams are mostly your subconscious speaking to you. Since you only have one baby with you, that means you are still pregnant in this dream. Therefore it takes place not that far into the future. Even though you still felt the rage, you let your husband into your safe space. You let him care for your baby. If you, your baby, and your husband were all in the same room as you began to stab him... Realistically, your baby would not be aware of what exactly is going on. I believe the screaming is you trying to stop yourself. That's why it's quiet when it is over. I will ask again and it's your choice if you want to answer or not. Do you love your husband?"
Stunned into silence, I just stare at Niko. He's dropped his smirk and is staring back at me with genuine concern. I find that I want to be truthful with him.
But I can't.
"I don't know."
Niko accepts my quiet answer, but I know it to be a lie. For I know deep in my heart, when you peer under the layers of rage and hurt, what I truly feel for Harry.
And I don't like it one bit.
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We're nearing the end of our session and despite the realization I had, I feel better. Much better than what I did this morning.
Niko assured me that I'm not actually losing it, and that things like this are normal.
He gave me therapy homework to do until our next session. He said to let the rage out a little at a time while I'm doing any physical activity. Niko said that while the rage is a valid feeling, I can't hold on to it. Harry is not the one being consumed by these extreme feelings. In the end I'm the one suffering from my rage.
Niko said that it won't happen overnight, but it's a start.
Now, we're just talking casually. I'm aware that he's still on the clock, but this now feels like a casual conversation between friends.
Niko gets a text on his phone, breaking our conversation. As he's reading, his pale eyes spark in what looks like surprise. They move to me, making me slightly blush for getting caught watching him.
"Ellie!"
"Yes?"
"Happy six months! I didn't realize, but Samira just texted me. Happy 1 month birthday to Adira!"
"W-what?" I stare blankly for a minute before whipping out my own phone and checking the date. He's right. Today I am exactly six months pregnant and my sweet Adira is a month old. I was so caught up in my Harry dream that I didn't even realize.
Different emotions overwhelm my senses and without the power to stop them, big fat tears roll down my cheeks. Niko's happy expression drops into a worried one.
"I-I am such a terrible mother! I didn't even realize-" A sob cuts my words short and I bury my face in my hands. Slight panic creeps into my psyche, making my heart race a bit faster. I dont know why I feel panic, but I do. I cannot believe that I forgot. This is such a big deal because both of them were able to survive for this long. Such a huge milestone and I was too preoccupied over something that didn't really happen to notice.
Arms gently wrap around me, but this time I'm not startled. I relax into Niko's hold, just wanting to be comforted. Niko is whispering to me, telling me that nothing is my fault and how I'm doing the best that I can. He says more reassuring things like this over and over again until I've calmed down. Once I've completley stopped crying, I scrub at my eyes and slowly look up. Niko eyes are intense as they look at me, and I feel embarrassed. I try to smile but I know it looks as strained as it feels. "Sorry."
"You have nothing to apologize for. You are not a bad mother Ellie."
"But-" He gives me a pointed look that makes my response die on my tongue.
"Trust me, I know bad mothers and you are not one."
"What do you mean?"
He sighs and moves his arms from around me. I try to ignore the loss of comfort as Niko moves back enough to create space between us. The look on his face is unreadable and I wonder if I said the wrong thing.
"I have a son. He's six years old and his name is Killian."
Shock somewhat snaps me out of my emotional state. I'm so surprised that I'm not sure what to say. Niko must not notice or care because he keeps talking.
"When Killian was seven months old, his mother decided that she couldn't do it anymore and just left. I should've seen it coming, given her cold demeanor to our baby. The minute he was born, I could see the detachment. It was like night and day." He closes his eyes briefly and when they open, they're focused back on me.
"I know bad mothers, and you Ellie Styles are not one. Okay?"
"Okay." It's a knee jerk response and I'm only telling him what he wants to hear. After revealing something so personal about himself, I doubt that Niko would want to argue with me.
I have so many questions that one slips out.
"Wait, how old are you Niko?"
"I just turned thirty in September."
Yet again I am shocked and I know it shows all over my face from the way Niko smiles. "Why are you so surprised Ellie?"
"Honestly? You don't look a day over twenty four. I... wow, I just would've never guessed. But you know what? The beard should've been a dead giveaway."
He snorts and touches the thick hair on his face. "Why is that?"
I can feel the blush before it touches my cheeks and I silently curse it. "Because dad's thirty and over have attractive beards." As soon as the words leave my mouth, I have the sudden urge to bury my face into a couch pillow.
I can't maintain eye contact, so I keep my eyes on his hidden neck tattoo.
"You think my beard is attractive?" His tone is teasing and playful. It makes me want to laugh, and it also makes me want to smack him.
I try to take back the reigns in this unpredictable conversation. Better to get back to the point.
"Anyway, what's he like? Your son I mean."
I force myself to look at him, and I am so glad that I did. Niko's smile is the kind of smile I've never seen on him before. Gone is the teasing, cocky smirk and in its place is genuine love. "He's a little spitfire. He is practically my shadow and always wants to do whatever I'm doing. One day I caught him trying to dye his hair with blue kool-aid." A laugh bursts out of me. "What?! Oh my God." Niko chuckles. "Yeah, so I took him to the hairdresser to get temporary blue dye."
He goes through his phone and swipes a few times before showing me the screen.
a
/n: imagine he has dark blue hair lol
"Oh my goodness, he is just so adorable!" That's the standard thing you say when someone shows you their kid, but I really mean it. Killian looks identical to his father, right down to the unique pale blue eyes. His hair is the same shade of dark blue, but his wild curls are all over his head instead of shaved on one side like Niko's.
"Thanks Ellie. He is my greatest accomplishment in life." I smile at the fondness and love in Niko's eyes. The bond between a father and his child is just so beautiful.
'Oh? If it's so beautiful, shouldn't you be letting Harry see his baby?'
The sudden, nasty subconscious thought makes me physically flinch.
Niko notices and his concerned face is back on. "Are you okay?"
"Y-yeah, I'm fine." My phone rings then, saving me from having to lie again. Saying a quick "excuse me" to Niko, I hurriedly answer.
"Hello?"
"Hi Ellie, happy 6 months!"
"Samira! Thank you so much! It is so good to hear from you." I haven't spoken to the kind nurse since I was discharged and I realize that I've missed her. For a long while, she was the only one there for me when I went through one of the most traumatic moments in my life.
"Yes, I'm so sorry that I haven't been able to talk to you! Solomon decided he wanted to switch specialties, so it's been very hectic."
"Oh? Well, congratulations to him! Also, no worries! I understand, between your jobs and your kids, I know it's been a handful."
Samira laughs, a cute tinkling sound. "You got that right! Listen, I was calling because in honor of Adira hitting her 1 month mark... Ellie would you like to come in today and hold your daughter?"
My world stops.
"W-what? What did you just say? I... I must have heard that wrong."
"No my dear, you heard me right. Adira is strong enough to be held, we just got the approval today. Also, with the kangaroo care you'll do today, she will be getting stronger and stronger each day. When can you come in?"
My stopped world stutters and restarts in overdrive. I spring up off of the couch and take off to my room. I register Niko's noise of surprise, but I don't pay attention to it.
"I'm coming right now!"
"Okay Ellie, see you soon!"
I hang up and put on the first pair of shoes that I see. Once they're on, I snatch up my purse and run back downstairs.
Niko is waiting for me at the foot of the stairs and he has a big grin on his face. "So I take it that Samira told you?"
"Yes! Wait, you knew?" He opens is mouth to answer but I cut him off. "Nevermind, I have to go!" I usher Niko out of the house and lock it behind me. Not even paying attention to him, I make a beeline towards my car.
"Ellie, wait." I turn and Niko isn't that far behind me. "Ellie, let me drive you. You are too jumpy and excited to drive. Is that okay with you?"
I shrug. I could care less how I get there, I just want to go. "Sure." I change directions and head for Niko's light gray mustang.
Before I can reach for the door handle, he beats me to it and opens the door for me. I awkwardly mutter my thanks and carefully lower myself into the car.
"Need any help?"
"No thanks, we're good."
Once I'm in, he closes the door and gets in himself.
The ride is quiet, but comfortable. Indie music plays on the radio, and I find that I enjoy it. The only conversation we have is when I ask him about kangaroo care. Basically it's just holding your baby skin to skin and that it benefits your baby immensely.
Hopefully I'll be able to do this all the time.
When we get to the hospital, a strange calm has settled over my body. I guess I'm so excited that I kind of shut down. Like a computer freezing and rebooting.
I get out of the car, but I blink and Niko and I are standing in the hospital. Funny, I don't remember walking in.
"Ellie?"
Niko is in front of me now and he's slightly shaking me. "Are you okay?" I try to snap out of it. I don't want to Samira to change her mind. Mentally slapping myself I perk up. "Yes, I'm good. C'mon, let's go!"
I grab Niko's hand and lead him all the way up to the NICU. I sign in quickly and head back to our room. Opening the door, I see Samira and my precious baby.
"Hi Ellie! Come on over, she has been waiting for you." My heart starts beating wildly in my chest and all I feel is yearning.
"Okay, well what do I need to do?"
"Well take your sweatshirt off and your bra if you want to. If you want to keep your bra on, we'll just pull the straps down."
Niko clears his throat. "Oh, um, I'll be back later, I have another patient." He practically bolts out of the room making Samira and I laugh.
Without hesitation, I take my big earrings out and pull my sweatshirt over my head. This leaves me in just my black sports bra, but I take that off as well. I'm not shy around Samira, the woman literally had to sponge bathe me. I have nothing to worry about because Mira is s professional. She leaves and comes back quickly with a robe that she drapes around my shoulders. Then Samira motions me to sit next to my baby.
Once I'm settled, she opens the incubator and begins disconnecting a few of the machines so that they'll move with my baby. Samira makes sure to explain everything she does before she does it, which eases my anxieties.
After that, finally finally it's time.
Samira carefully lifts Adira and places her on my chest. She instructs me on how to hold her, and soon we are settled.
My entire being feels as if I'm on cloud nine. My baby's skin is so soft, fragile, and sweet. I stare down at her, a strong love I've never felt before wells up inside of me. Her dark brown hair is just barley beginning to curl, her eyes have yet to open, but I can guess what color they'll be. I feel her soft breaths against my skin, and I'm grateful that she's still breathing on her own. Tears fill my eyes, but I am grinning from ear to ear.
"Could you take our picture please?" Samira looks as if she has tears in her eyes as well. She smiles and I give her my phone. "Of course, Ellie. Then I'll give you two some much needed bonding time, okay?"
"Okay." The next ten minutes consists of me trying not to full on bawl as Mira takes our picture. Then it's just Adira and I.
I look down at my sweet baby and adjust her so I can study her face. I want to have her features engrained in my mind. Though I can't tell who she looks like yet, she's still beautiful all the same.
Then something happens that makes my heart stop.
Adira, my sweet precious baby, opens her eyes.
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"Liam?"
I don't look up from the newspaper I'm reading. "Hmm?"
"Who is Ellie?"
That question causes me to rip my eyes away from the many crisis in the world, and focus on the half naked woman lounging on my couch.
"Why do you ask?"
"Look, I get she's the girl you're trying to get over, trust me I understand, but do me a favor and don't moan out her name while you're inside of me, okay?"
Oh no.
"Shit Odessa, I had no idea I did that. I'm sor-"
She sits up and fixes me with that intense stare of hers, making the words die in my throat.
"Don't apologize, just don't do it again."
I quirk an eyebrow at her and let my eyes slide over her body. "Oh, so there's going to be another time?"
She winks at me, the action making my dick twitch. "Only if you're so lucky." Odessa gets up slowly, knowing that I'm watching her, and stretches. Giving me a clear view of her barley covered body, teasing me. I begin to harden, thinking about our sexcapades from last night. She peers at me over her shoulder and laughs.
"You are too easy to rile up, Payne."
I discard the paper and walk over to her, wrapping my arms around her slim body and pulling her to me. "What can I say, you're irresistible." I look into her beautiful black eyes before leaning down and capturing her plump lips with my own.
She lets me kiss her, but pulls away before it gets to hot and heavy. "I have to go and get everything started, okay?" I nod, ignoring the rock hard member between my legs. I watch as she gets dressed quickly and goes to leave. Before walking out the door she half turns and smirks. "I'll call you."
When Odessa is gone, I sigh and rub my face.
Calling out Ellie's name while I was sleeping with Odessa is wrong on so many levels. The fact that I don't even remember it just means that I need to get my shit together.
I'll admit that sleeping with Odessa was impulsive, but I don't want to mess things up with her. When I got back to Jersey, I called her over so we could go over everything that has been done so far. Somehow we got on the topic of getting over people, and one thing led to another...
That was four days ago.
I mean, she works for me and she's the best at what she does, so I don't want to lose that. Eventually I'll have to go back to Canada, and I'll need Odessa to keep things going when I do.
I groan to myself when I think of the reason why I left Canada in the first place.
Harry.
That bastard dumped a pile of bullshit in my lap and now I have no idea what to do with it.
I was ready to shoot him in that room, I really was. Then he opened his mouth, and that plan was nixed.
"Please Liam, Ellie can't know. I'm doing this to protect her. To protect all three of them."
I scoff as I think of the words he said. In his own twisted way, Harry does think he's protecting Ellie. He can't see that he's hurting her more than he thinks he's protecting her.
He didn't tell me everything, he said it was dangerous if I knew. But he told me the bare bones of what he was doing and why. To say I was stunned would be an understatement. The things going on now have been happening before Ellie and Harry even had their bloody wedding.
If Ellie ever finds out that I know something and didn't tell her... I know I'm going to be her next victim.
That's why I left. I don't know how to look into her eyes and lie through my teeth. I'm going to have to learn, because I can't stay here forever, but just not yet. I need more time.
The ping of a text echos through my apartment, silencing my inner turmoil. Picking up my phone, I try not to feel weary when I see Ellie's name. I hesitate for only a moment, then I open her text.
𝐅𝐫𝐨𝐦: 𝐄𝐥
𝐓𝐨: 𝐍𝐨𝐏𝐚𝐲𝐧𝐞𝐍𝐨𝐆𝐚𝐢𝐧
From: El
To: NoPayneNoGain
𝐋𝐢! 𝐈 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐫! 𝐈 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝'𝐯𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐞𝐫. 𝐈𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫?!
Li! I finally get to hold her! I would've facetimed you but texting is easier. Isn't she the sweetest thing ever?!
The photo is the sweetest thing I've ever seen. I curse Harry again for making me miss this.
Ellie looks radiant. There is a light in her eyes that I haven't seen in a long time. She has Addie laying on her chest, skin to skin. Ellie looks teary eyed, but she carries the brightest smile on her face.
Beautiful.
𝐅𝐫𝐨𝐦: 𝐍𝐨𝐏𝐚𝐲𝐧𝐞𝐍𝐨𝐆𝐚𝐢𝐧
𝐓𝐨: 𝐄𝐥
From: NoPayneNoGain
To: El
𝐈'𝐦 𝐬𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐄𝐥, 𝐲𝐩𝐮 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐡 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐬𝐩 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭. 𝐅𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫, 𝐨𝐤𝐚𝐲? 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐚
I'm so happy for you El, you both look so perfect. Facetime me later, okay? Love ya
Platonic, friendly love but I don't have to spell that out to her.
Her responding text is just a sparkling heart, but it's cute.
I put my phone down and sit back in my dining chair. My mood goes back to somber as I remember the mess that I'm still in.
I have no loyalty towards Harry. Sure we were close to friends before, but now that is definitely gone. I'm not like Niall or Louis. I'm not going to send him secret pictures of Ellie or feed him information about her. It looks like I'm going to have to tell her. When? I don't know. How? I don't know that either. But I know that I will eventually have to.
I just hope that she trusts me enough to believe me.