Caleb's POV.
I hate driving. Well, sometimes at least. Matter of fact, I only hate driving to the airport. Fuck that shit. This is the shit that makes no fucking sense and because of that, no one knows what they are doing which only adds to my frustrations.
"I better get paid for this shit," I immediately spout as soon as the door opens. Nina slides into the passenger seat, giving me a look as she does.
"Ask your mother," she jokes and closes the door, I immediately start making my way out of this hell hole. "But thanks for coming."
I sigh, can't be mad at her for too long. "You're welcome."
"Where's Ensley?" She asks and my heart clenches. "Mom said she was gonna be here too?"
I bite the inside of my cheek and try not to think of the girl that has had my insides spinning for the last two days.
Ever since Hardin came over and punched me in the face, I have felt like shit, and not just because my face is bruised. I can't pinpoint the exact reason for my shitty feelings, but it most likely has to do with what Hardin said as he was leaving. At the time I didn't believe him, didn't give myself time to, because I was so pissed at her. After putting my fist through my wooden dresser I thought I would be able to think clearer after that, but I couldn't so instead I drank more until I passed out.
I didn't go to school the next day because of a killer hang over, but that proved to be the worst idea because I was left alone with my thoughts of her instead. There were times that I just wanted to pick up my phone and call her, or drive over to her house, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I am a coward.
The only reason I didn't go to school again today was because I just didn't feel like it. I couldn't bring myself to see her - or Jeremy. I want to fuck him up so bad, but I don't need Ensley hating me even more than she does now.
After Hardin coming over, I hadn't put much thought into what he said about Jeremy being a liar. And to be completely honest, I don't want to. It hurts to much to think about what I said to her that day, let alone if it was out of pocket because she really didn't kiss him.
"She had plans," I clear my throat, reaching to turn the music up, but Nina slaps my hand away. Fuck.
"Caleb." Well shit, there goes the mom tone. Sometimes she reminds me too much of my mother and I hate it.
"Yes?" I sweetly respond, trying not to be an asshole because it is her first night back. Tomorrow maybe, but not tonight.
"Mom told me." I don't even spare her a glance. The fuck is my mom spouting about my business for? Damn, nothing is sacred in this family.
"I am sure she did," I respond through gritted teeth. My dad is a fucking traitor for telling my mom, and my mom is a traitor for telling my older, more intelligent sister.
"What happened?" She asks, why is she always so nice? I wish she wasn't.
"I don't want to talk about this." I distressingly run a hand through my hair and try my best to keep myself focused on the freeway in front of me and not on the beautiful brunette that occupies my every thought.
"It might help if you do," she persuades. "Plus, I promise I won't tell anyone. You have my word."
I glance at her and she looks as honest as can be. No one will ever know this, but my sister is by far the person I trust the most. I would sell my soul for that girl.
Literally.
"Do you love her?" She asks, as sweetly as possible.
Ugh.
"I don't know," I lie.
"What are you so afraid of?" She asks. "You guys have been best friends for years-"
"That's part of issue," I humorlessly chuckle.
"Why?" I don't know. I don't know anything.
Our situation is so complicated, and it is because of how long we have been friends. We are both scared to lose that if this doesn't work out, I mean look at what has happened to us already? I have never gone a day without talking to the girl and now we haven't spoken in two days.
"Too much history," I admit. "Too much we don't want to lose, I guess."
"Who says you have to lose it?" Okay, maybe she isn't as smart as I thought.
"Nina," I give her a look that she reciprocates.
"Caleb," she responds in the same tone.
"If we decided to really go for it and try this," I begin. "And it doesn't work out? There goes everything. Years of friendship would be over, never going back to the way we were."
"Possibly," she nods. "But it could also work out and you could live a happy life together. You will never know, though, if you don't try."
I scoff. "Our version of trying lasted two weeks before something happened and look where we are. Hardly talking - not speaking at all really."
"One fight doesn't have to be the end all be all," she tells me, and I sigh. No, it doesn't, but this fight wasn't over something miniscule. "Right, Caleb?"
"This wasn't just a small fight," I try to explain.
"Well, then tell me about it," she pleads. I know she is only trying to help, and to be honest, with the way I feel about Ensley, I need it. So, I tell her what happened. "You're joking?"
"No," I roll my eyes. "I am not joking."
"You didn't even let her explain?" Disappointment. "What the hell, Caleb?"
"I can't help it!" I defend and she slaps my chest. "I have anger issues okay, we know this."
"No excuses," she points out and I blow out a breath. "Hardin told you that this Jeremy guy was lying though."
How do I say this?
"Yeah, he did," I confirm.
"So what exactly is the problem?" She asks, seemingly more confused than before.
This is why I didn't want to tell her, because in hindsight there is no problem. There shouldn't be anything holding me back. Except for one thing.
"There isn't," I concede. "Not concerning our fight that is."
She stays silent, waiting for me to continue with the spiel that is about to escape my mouth.
"Sometimes, I don't know, sometimes I just feel like it isn't worth it." Wow, that was weird saying out loud.
"Why?" Nina questions, basically turning her whole body to face me within the confines of her seatbelt.
I groan and run a hand down my face. "I just feel like she deserves better, you know? Like, better than me."
Silence. Great, thanks Nina.
"Hey," she calls and I look at her for a brief period of time. "You are a great person-"
"Nina-" I try to stop her, but she continues anyway.
"No," she holds a hand up. "You are a great person. Sure, you have made mistakes, but everyone does. What you do with those mistakes is what makes you who you are. You think she deserves better? A better guy?"
I confirm with the shrug of my shoulders.
"Be that guy," she tells me and my stomach is in my throat. "Why not? Be that guy that you think she deserves because I know you can be."
"What if she doesn't want to forgive me after this, though?" I sound like a helpless child and I know this, which makes me lose at least ten masculinity points, but who is counting.
"You are so in love," she giggles and I freeze. "And so is she. She will forgive you, Caleb. You just have to show her you want this as much as she does."
Fuck. She is right. I do love her, no, I am in love with her. Absolutely, consumingly in love with her. I would do anything for Ensley, even if that means changing my ways and becoming better for her. I want to be better for her, I want nothing more than to be what she deserves and more. She should be given the world, and I am going to do that for her. It is about time I grow up and just accept the fact that I am in love with my best friend. I just hope she loves me as much as I do her and that she forgives me for behaving like an asshole the other day.
I pull up to my house and stop in front, turning to Nina before she can get out of the car.
"Thank you." I hate the way the words roll off my tongue, but that is part of growing up I suppose.
She smirks and rubs a hand over my hair, messing it up. "I better get paid for that shit."
I chuckle lightly and watch to make sure she makes it into the house before heading to the party. I texted Hardin on the way home asking if he knew where Ensley was and he told me right away. I am not too happy that she is at the party, but I am too high on adrenaline to care right now.
I try not to speed all the way there - failing miserably - and get there within a few minutes. My hands are clammy and I am almost shaking with how much adrenaline is coursing through my body right now. I sit in my car for a second to calm down, because the last thing I need is to be this excited and then get shot down by her. Leaving the doubt there that she can most certainly deny me will make sure I am not too thrown off if she goes that route.
The house is packed when I finally make it here around ten o'clock, and this proves to make it difficult for me to get to the area that I know Hardin will be. He is very predictable - smoking with the same group of people every party. Ensley, on the other hand is going to be much harder to find, that is why I am going to need Hardin's help.
"Iverson!" I call for him as I make my way to the couch that he slumps on, a girl half on his lap.
"Hey, buddy," he lazily smiles at me, holding out his hand. High Hardin, is never a fun Hardin. And he looks extremely out of it right now, more than usual.
"Where is Ensley?" I ask, trying to cut straight to the chase.
"I left her in the kitchen," He tells me and I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding. I have to get through hoards of bodies once more to even make it three feet to the kitchen and I look around anxiously. I don't see her.
I double, triple check to make sure I am not just glazing over her, but she really isn't here. It is almost like a magnet draws my eyes away from the kitchen, though and into the crowd of dancing teenagers.
The universe hates me beyond words because what I see next has me in mixed emotions of vomiting on the wood floors or going into a fit of rage.
Ensley Wilde; grinding against some douche bag from a different school.
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Que evil laugh lol. I am super happy with how this chapter came out, and hopefully you all are too!
What do you think? Are you glad Nina gave Caleb the advice she did? Are you all glad to see Nina again? Are you shocked Caleb went after her? What will happen next with these two?
Don't be a silent reader!!
Enjoy. Love you all <3
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