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[At hospital]
X: [About Ex] I'm here for my sibling
Receptionist: Who's your sibling?
X: You must be new here
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X: Why the heck is there blood everywhere?
Wels: Well, you see, it's simple colour theory.
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xB: Why are women always described as "stronger than she looks" and never "strong as she looks" because her biceps are bigger than her head
X: A possible adjustment to this, a woman with biceps bigger than her head being described as "stronger than she looks"
Tango: Looks like she could lift a car, turns out she can throw a car.
Cub: She said she could only trust me as far as she could throw me. Which as it turns out was pretty far.
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Jevin: Xisuma, son of Void...
X: Jevin, son of... a bitch.
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Joe: the next time X's angry with me, i'll drape him in a cape and say "now you're super angry"
Joe: maybe he'll laugh, maybe i'll die
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Pearl: [comes in covered in bruises and bandages]
X: Pearl what happened! You're supposed to come here if you have a fight!
Pearl: I didn't have a fight
X: What do you-
Pearl: I didn't have a fight I tripped over Jellie and fell down three flights of stairs
X:
Pearl: I've broken four bones
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X, singing Evanescence: Wake me up–
Keralis, singing Wham!: –before–
Hels, singing Green Day: –September ends.
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X: Well, this is the weirdest occult summoning ritual I've ever walked in on.
Grian, summoning NPG: ... How many have you walked in on?
X: Honestly, I don't bother counting.
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Stress: Want me to do a tarot reading for you?
X: Sure?
Stress, cards out: So this one tells me you have a beautiful smile, and this one tells me you are a precious angel, and this one says your eyes-
X: Stress, those aren't even tarot cards, they're just pictures of me.
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Etho: What happened to this chicken?
Mumbo: [walking past] Cats ate her face
Etho: What? I think you're confused. Where's X?
X: What's going on?
Etho: What happened to her?
X: Cats ate her face. Here, Mumbo knows more about it than I do-
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Iskall: So, what was your childhood like?
X: Oh, you mean my tragic backstory that you must be at least level 3 friendship to unlock?
Iskall: ... What level am I at?
X: 10. So it all started-
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X: I believe you have PTSD.
Ex: Yeah I have PTSD - Proficient Talent for Sucking Dick.
X: I think we also need to talk about your use of humour as an escape mechanism.
Ex: I don't think you understand how genius what I just said was.
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X: So, what's your favourite colour?
Gemini: I'm not really into small talk.
X: Oh, ok...
X: Deep down inside, do you think you're a good person?
Gemini: ...
Gemini: Green.
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X: Where did you find this kid?
Impulse: Back off he was cheap
Scar: I'm not cheap I cost $20
X: And what do you do for $20?
Scar: [tearing up] My best
|=====|=====|
*Giving advice to Stress*
Hypno: It's okay to ask for help.
BadTimes: You're not a burden.
X: Murder is okay.
Cleo: Your feelings matter.
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Biffa: Plants have feelings too?! What is this? Now I can't have food!
Tfc: You can eat a rock.
Beef: Air.
Bdubs: The fabric of time and space.
X: Chugging a bottle of bleach can solve all your problems.
False: You guys are not helpful.
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X: So don't panic but one of us is possessed by an owl....
Wels: ....
xB: .....
Hypno: ......
Doc: ..Who?
X: That's the thing we don't-
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NPG: Count me in!
Zedaph: Who the hell are you?!
NPG: Oh, you know my sibling! He works here.
Ren: Oh yeah, Grian! How is he doing?
NPG: Oh yeah, not too good. He was stabbed last week.
Zedaph: What the hell, he didn't tell us!
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Today' Question:
Who do you think is gonna be the last person alive in Last Life?
I hope you enjoyed this chapter, until the next one, bye! ~Mors