inspired by a certain show on netflix *wink wink* iykyk
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I think my boyfriend's in love with his nanny.
It started out casually, began like any other mentor and moody teenager relationship would. But then things began to change.
He looks at her in a different way now. Like she's the only one in the room. He attempts to flirt and charm the older woman with his stupid smirk. He sneaks into her room at night and pretends like I don't notice.
The other day I found her underwear in our room, along with a bunch of photos of her sleeping.
My boyfriend is most definitely smitten with the nanny.
I just don't understand why.
I mean, don't get me wrong. She's pretty, she really is. Short blond hair, crystal blue eyes, tall and content with everything around her. But... Brutally bland and average. She's just unspecial.
So why her, Miles?
He wasn't like this with Miss Jessel but I suppose maybe that's because Quint was the one to do that. Since the two are both gone maybe my poor Miles is just lost?
I surely hope that's what it is. He's in love with me like I'm in love with him, it's always been that way.
Now he's distant and the unaware nanny has caught his heart.
It makes me wonder what I did wrong. Did I not satisfy him? Would he rather have an older taller woman? Maybe I was too immature for him.
I'm not sure, my emotions are all over the place right now. Trust me, I'm aware.
I led Kate over to the grand fireplace, showing her around since she hadn't seen that part of the house yet.
It wasn't by coincidence though. Any time my eyes darted over to the wood chunks in the fire pit I would be reminded of why I was here. Then my mind goes straight to how the wood got into the chunks in the first place. And finally, my eyes glance over to the ax sitting gently next to the fireplace.
Yet, I kept my composure and continued entertaining Kate. The two of us exchanged kind words and small talk, you know, what you're supposed to do in a friendly conversation.
It really does suck. Kate and I get along really well. She's always very nice to me and her intentions with Flora are honest and true. It pains me inside how hurt Flora will be but, I know what I must do.
I do have empathy though. I feel bad for Kate. She's a bright young adult trying to fill the empty void in Bly Manor. She's been nothing but delightful to me.
Maybe in another life we could've been friends.
What a shame.
Kate gapes at the orange flames, a smile creeping on her face, "Wow... I am at a loss for words. This is beautiful."
I stand behind her, my eyes narrowing as I realize she's distracted. My lips form in a thin line and I stay silent as she continues to ramble about the fireplace. I take slow quiet steps over to the ax, carefully clutching it between my hands as I creep behind the older woman.
"Do you know how long it's been—" Kate joyfully questions as she turns around to face me, her features becoming petrified.
I tightly grip the ax, hoisting it above my head as I stalk closer to her.
"Y/n—"
The last thing I heard from Kate Mandell was a horrified shrill before I plunged the sharp blade into her chest.
—
Later on, I managed to sneak Miles away from our little game of hide and seek with Flora. I urgently explained to him that something was wrong and led him over to the fireplace room.
"Darling, you're scaring me. What's wrong?" He soothingly spoke, clasping his hand within my own.
I stayed silent, tears pooling in my eyes as I motioned for him to walk in the room.
He hesitantly stepped in, instantly being met with the pool of blood surrounding Kate's body.
"Holy... Shit." He gasped, turning over to me with anger, "What the fuck did you do!?"
My brows raised with surprise. I didn't expect him to lash out on me of all people. Especially for something that under all the ragged layers, deep down, was really his fault.
I get defensive, "What did I do? How about what did you do?" I point at Kate's dead body and spit, "With her."
The older teenager's mouth fell agape as he realized I knew what he had done.
"Okay first of all," He started with a forceful tone, "There was nothing between her and I. Second of all, even if there was, how the fuck does killing her solve anything!?"
Guilt starts to flow through me, I still felt uneasy about him. I think he's lying about the nothing between the two.
I was speechless as Miles crouched down to inspect her body and started cursing.
"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." He stood up and whipped his head towards me, "What the hell were you thinking?"
"I- I wasn't... And, I thought she was trying to come between us—"
"What if Flora walked in here and had to see her nanny's dead body on the floor?"
My heart shatters as I think about Flora... I suppose I should've been more cautious. The young girl had already seen her parents die, I could've at least had the courtesy to hide Kate's body so the same wouldn't happen.
"I—"
"What if Mrs. Grose walked in and saw her?"
"Miles,"
"No! What if her roommate back home realizes she isn't answering her late night phone calls anymore? What if her deranged mother learns that her daughter has suddenly died? You need to think about these things before you fucking kill someone!"
I faltered, "Okay, well I don't do this for a living! I'm not like you, I'm not some psycho! I don't know how to deal with killing someone! And also— How the hell do you know so much about her?"
He's really not helping with the fact that he supposedly isn't in to her.
"That's not the point! See! This is why you don't act off of impulse!" Miles complains, throwing his hands in the air as he thinks of a plan.
I feel my heart pounding in my chest, my mouth going dry as I panicked.
"T-This isn't m-me... I don't- I don't do this shit! I had to protect you and our relationship—"
"LET me FOCUS!" Miles harshly snapped.
I sighed, shaking my head as I wiped my anxious tears, "What the hell do we do now?"
Miles licked his lip, his eyes fixated on Kate's body as he focused on some type of idea in his mind.
—
It's been a week since I brutally murdered my boyfriend's nanny with an ax.
Miles buried her out in the maze and wrote a letter in Kate's handwriting to Mrs. Grose. You know the bullshit letter that every cover up has ever had. Kate Mandell was a miserable young woman who had a miserable mother and a miserable life. And that's how it would stay forever. She was never to be found again.
I thought murdering Kate would fix Miles and I's relationship but it's somehow made it worse. He's even more distant now and it feels like he's disgusted with me. It's like the idea of me being just as insane as him is now disturbing.
What does he expect? This is what happens when one person's toxicity spreads to another. You'd think he would want a freak like himself, but no, me who stares at him through his reflection is just a deafening reminder of what he truly is.
He treats me like I'm a housewife and that's my only purpose.
Our relationship has officially failed.
I just don't understand what I did wrong... Aside from killing Kate. I've always supported him. I've always supported that jackass whose a fucking sociopath! And I never left him! Never! I'm the only one in this world who will accept him for who he actually is yet he still won't return my love.
It feels like I'm invisible to him.
"Y/n, will you be a good girl and bring this to Mrs. Grose?" Miles asks, not taking his eyes off of the book he was reading as he nudged his empty plate.
I blinked, glaring at the oblivious male as I picked the plate up and walked behind him.
I childishly flipped him off and dropped the plate on the ground to see if he'd notice.
Even as the porcelain material shattered everywhere, making a loud noise, he still didn't take his eyes away from the book to notice... To notice me.
That's when it hit me.
I'm not the problem. My boyfriend is.
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