hello my lovelies,
I hope you had a great day today and if not, I promise you there will be better times.
Have fun reading and always remember that you are amazing and enough.
I love you, bye.
HUGE TRIGGER WARNING⚠️
Amara Thorne
Adriano leads me to the dance floor, all eyes on us and I always have my eyes on him.
We stand across from each other and I take a deep breath as I look into his grey eyes. Adriano brings me closer to him and puts his free hand on my back. He is so close to me that our upper bodies are almost touching. The music begins to play, and we begin to move to the rhythm of the classical music.
The stares of the people in the room burn into my skin and I wish to be everywhere, just not here. I let my gaze wander from Adriano and look around while I continue to move my body with Adriano's in unison with the music. The facial expressions of each person couldn't be more different. Some just stare at us; others give us a fake smile or a glare.
I swallow as I look around. Most of the faces are not unfamiliar to me, but I don't associate a single one with something positive. They only provoke anger.
No fear, no grief, just anger.
I know what these people did to get their power and what they do to keep it. You stand here feeling strong, vengeful, and are lusting for more power but you should only feel one thing.
Shame.
They should be ashamed of themselves.
For being here in this room and for what they are. When did they go from humans to monsters? When did I become them?
Suddenly I feel Adriano squeeze my hand very tightly and I travel my gaze back to him. My frown disappears the second I look into his eyes. Instead of a rigid expression on his face, I see a small smile that plays on his lips. It's barely noticeable but I can see it.
No mocking look or a stupid grin. But a reassuring smile. Nevertheless, what irritates me, even more, is what I see in his eyes. Something I've never seen in all the years I've known him.
A mixture of panic and fear.
What?
I can't believe it.
Adriano Calvetti is scared?
I nearly burst out in laughter.
How pathetic can someone be?
If he can't even be in this room without peeing in his pants, he won't survive a week as the leader.
The bad, bad heir of the Sicilian Mafia is scared of dancing in front of a few people?
If everyone in here could see what he is feeling right now they wouldn't be so scared of him anymore.
He is feared by almost everyone who has ever heard of him and if they aren't terrified by the things they hear about him, those men sure as hell are when they look into his eyes.
I admit there were short moments in my life where I was too, not that I would ever tell him this but at this moment, the glint in his eyes tells me about his weakness.
I don't know what it is but now I definitely know that he has one and I will find it out.
And this man really thinks I will beg him for mercy?
He won't think like that anymore when he is on his knees, realizing he can rule the whole goddamn world, but I will never be at his feet, trying to gain his approval.
Fuck, Adriano!
What are you so scared of?
Why the fuck are you so scared?
I continue to study his face so intensely as if I know what he is hiding if I do it long enough.
I am so lost in his features, my body dancing to the rhythm so naturally, as it's the only thing I can do in the world. We move together to the beat. We are so adapted to each other that I hardly notice when the dance is almost finished. Adriano takes one of my legs and lifts it off the floor and presses it against his thigh. He leans me back so that only his arms keep me from falling back to the floor. I cling to him as the music stops and Adriano leans forward. Still, in his arms, he leans down to me.
He slowly travels his eyes from mine to my lips. He stares at them for a moment before looking back up.
My breath hitches and I feel like I am frozen in the spot as I realize he is asking me for permission to kiss me?
I don't answer or nod, I just look at him and he understands.
He leans closer towards me his lips nearly brushing mine. He doesn't kiss me just breaths against me.
One of his hands travels to my neck and then abruptly he grabs it to bring me closer. His lips crush against mine, but although his grip is harsh and stings, his lips feel soft against mine.
Soft and good?
I lean into the kiss, suddenly craving for more but then he tears himself away from me. He quickly straightens us both up and lets go of me.
He doesn't look me into the eyes anymore, his gaze traveling through the people that are still clapping.
I blink rapidly, trying to gather my thoughts. My gaze is on Adriano as I take a deep breath and gulp, my throat hurting because suddenly it's so dry.
"I need a strong drink. This champagne is a fucking joke." Adriano then says, not glancing at me, tearing me out of my thoughts.
"Me too," I reply but I don't think Adriano hears my answer before storming off to the bar.
I shake my head, still confused about...
About what actually?
What the fuck is wrong with me.
I didn't even drink that much to have an excuse to think like that.
No alcohol in the world could excuse that.
I scoff at my own thoughts and then follow Adriano.
I really need a fucking drink after this dance now.
I push myself through the people that are either talking or starting to dance.
I head to the bar and when I am finally almost through all people, I see Adriano ordering a drink, Darius standing next to him.
Fuck, I forgot that Darius is also there.
"Darius, my old friend. How were the last few weeks? I am a little mad you haven't visited me at my new home yet but I know you were probably busy." I greet him with a huge grin.
Darius smiles back at me and then takes my hand to kiss it. He brushes his thumb over the spot and then lets go of it.
"Bullshit. I thought you didn't want to see me. You know I have always time for you." He says and I hear Adriano letting out a snort next to us.
Darius gives me a look that says, "Don't make him any angrier or someone ends up dead" and exhales deeply before he turns his head to the bartender, motioning for him to also bring me a drink.
Yeah.
I really can't have that today.
I never thought I would ever say that but today really nobody can die.
Not today.
"Vodka?" He asks even though he has already ordered.
I roll my eyes.
"Yeah, sure. You have always time for me. I know you. You are rather balls-deep in a random chick than visiting me. Don't talk to me like I am dumb." I answer.
"Shut up and drink this. You know that I wanted to give you space. I would always put you over random pussy." He says and hands me my drink.
I take it and drink the entire liquor in one sip.
Darius raises his eyebrows at me in amusement.
Yeah, I know. I really needed this.
He shakes his head and then suddenly looks at me with uncertainty in his eyes.
"Come on. Whatever you want to tell me. Say it." I say.
"Uh. Where is Vivian?" He blurts out before lifting his drink again to his lips and emptying the entire glass.
Vivian?
Oh my God?!
Fuck.
Shit.
I am the worst fucking friend in the world.
I was so distracted the entire time that I didn't even look were she is and who she is with.
I invite her and then I don't even make sure if she is safe.
"Darius. Stay here." I immediately say and quickly look around me. I see that the man next to me has a glass of scotch in his hand, so I grab it and empty it, the man frowning at me.
"Excuse me, sir," I say, giving him a fake smile, and then I turn around.
"Amara. What the fuck?! Tell me what's going on." Darius demands, studying my face for answers.
"Stay here," I repeat, pointing my index finger at him.
The last thing I need now is him freaking out.
If that happens someone will end up dead.
I struggle through the crowd and try to get to the exit. I am glad that I know this castle better than myself, otherwise I would not have seen the way with so many people who are blocking my view.
After a few moments that feel like an eternity, I reach the main exit of the ballroom.
I enter the empty hallway and rush to the next door, my heels clicking on the floor.
Fuck.
I am the worst fucking friend.
What if something happened to her?
Then it's my fucking fault.
Especially here.
She shouldn't even be here.
Not with those monsters when they are as bad as the people who abused and raped her for years.
I run towards the main entrance.
The adrenaline is rushing through my entire body, my pulse pumping in my ears.
And then...
My heart stops.
"But I don't understand. I am friends with Amara Thorne. You have to let me in." I hear Vivian's voice and my blood freezes.
What?
The?
Fuck?
I grip the door's handle and then force it open, the wood, slamming against the walls.
"What the fuck is going on here?" I spit out at the four guards that are situated in front of the door.
Vivian is also standing there, her arms slightly shaking, her face expressions filled with fear but also anger.
I cross my arms over my chest, glaring at the men.
"Ma'am, please go inside. You are not safe here." One of them says.
His words sound nice but I hear in his voice how demanding he is.
Like I would be scared.
"Are you deaf or just dumb because I think I asked you What! The! Fuck! Is. Going. On. Here." I said, trying to keep my voice low.
I hear another guard letting out a snort and when I look at him, his gaze is on the floor, trying to hide his grin.
Well.
I guess they don't know who is standing in front of them.
"This woman wanted to get in here even though she isn't on the guest list." The guard that talked before answers, giving Vivian a dirty look.
I.
Am.
Going.
To.
Fucking.
Kill.
You.
Dirty piece of shit.
"Let her in," I demand, taking a step closer to the man.
"No."
"Let. Her. In.", I repeat stepping even closer, our bodies only inches apart.
"Little one, you maybe think that you are the best because you are here with your rich husband, but I would recommend you to go to your man and smile while he talks. Because that's the only fucking thing you are good for. He won't listen to your demands because nobody gives a shit. Including me, so if you don't want to suck my cock, get in and let the men take care of this." He says, grinning down at me.
I just stare at him.
I cock my head to the side and stare at him, while a smile starts to play on my face.
God, he is not even worth my anger.
I hate that I can't kill him.
At least I shouldn't.
"Wow. Good show you put on. Should I be impressed?" I say, letting out a laugh as I look at Vivian who tries to hide her smile.
"And now, if you would excuse me. This lovely woman and I will walk into this building to have our fun." I say as I step back, giving him a fake smile.
I turn around to grab Vivian's arm as I am being pushed back by someone gripping onto the fabric of my dress, my dress slipping to the side, revealing my private parts, that aren't covered by anything, because I couldn't wear any underwear under this dress without showing it off.
Fuck.
I hear the other men chuckling and I look into their lustful eyes as they look down at my bare pussy.
I reach down trying to cover it up again, but I stumble as the man behind me pushes me even further to his body.
I want to free myself from him but he grabs my hands and pushes my legs with his feet together, so I am not able to move anymore.
I look at Vivian who is being held back by one man, her body completely frozen, her eyes glistening with tears.
No. This is not going to happen to her.
Not again.
Over my dead body.
A guard that I haven't even perceived before steps in front of me with a dirty grin on his face.
"Puttana, I have a way better idea. How about you use that pretty mouth to do the only thing you are good for. Huh? I am sure your husband trained you to be a good little cocksucker."
Over. My. Dead. Body.
I use all the strength I have left to push myself against him to make him stumble but then I freeze as I hear a bang.
No.
Please no.
Not Vivian.
No.
But then I hear two other bullets going off and I see the man in front of me slumping together and falling onto the floor.
I can feel the man behind me letting go of his harsh grip and I look around to see him lying on the floor, a bullet in his head.
I quickly turn my gaze forward to see three bodies on the floor, one of them is still being beaten by Darius who is all over him, smashing his fist against his face, which can't even be recognized anymore.
He is furious.
In a bloody frenzy.
He grips the man's suit and slams his head over and over against the floor, blood splashing around.
Then I see Adriano kneeling next to him gripping onto his shoulder.
"It's enough." He says in Italian, looking at the assassin who is so in his thoughts that he doesn't even notice him.
As he doesn't listen Adriano shoves him off the body that can barely be considered a human being anymore.
It's just a piece of flesh that looks like it has been attacked by wolves.
"Darius. Fuck. Stop." Adriano yells in Italian at the assassin that is still in his adrenaline rush and tries to kick him away.
As he doesn't stop, Adriano punches him in the face with such a force Darius spits blood.
He glares at him like he is about to kill him but then...
His eyes land on Vivian.
His gaze softens, his glare disappears.
He slowly heaves himself off the ground.
"V," he says, his voice only a whisper.
I travel my gaze to Vivian, her eyes on Darius who is slowly walking towards her.
I look at them as they just stare at each other.
Darius steps closer, taking his blood-stained gloves off.
He lifts his hands to her face.
"Is-is this, okay?" He asks and when she nods, he puts his hands on her face to pull her closer.
He lays his forehead against hers.
"I am sorry. I am so fucking sorry." He whispers against her face and that's the moment I realize I shouldn't be staring at them.
I quickly turn my gaze away, looking at Adriano, whose gaze is fixated on Darius and Vivian.
I walk towards him stepping over one of the dead guards on the floor.
I stand right in front of him looking him dead in the eyes.
And then I slap him.
Hard.
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