After finishing my cake, I decided to indulge in a little detective project of my own instead of turning right back to my work. After all this time, I never considered anyone else would know how Atsushi feels about me - because unless he brought it up explicitly, no one would really indulge in it. That is, if Dazai didn't force something out of him. Even then, I wouldn't want to ask around because one - that's creepy and two - what if all I found out was that he didn't like me? It's basically the same, if not worse, than being outright rejected.
I never wanted to read Atsushi's mind. I just wanted to hear him say he loved me, of his own accord.
This time though, because of the way Kyouka slipped up with her speech, I had reason to believe that Atsushi wasn't just talking about me with others in idle conversation, but talking about his feelings for me. My observation skills fell entirely short whenever I was thinking about Atsushi, or whenever I was standing close to him. But now that I've been snapped out of that trance, I can actually attempt to look at this from an outside perspective.
The president approaching me about my feelings might have been the only coincidental thing here. Dazai realizing I liked Atsushi isn't surprising - but pushing me to confess, asking me particular questions... that's different. He was the type to sit back and watch how the games played out, in a half torn throne with a chipped crown and a wicked smile. Dazai liked chaos, he liked unpredictability. So why would he say anything to encourage me when he was the type to want to see how things played out on there own? Only if someone else had spoken to him about it.
I wasn't going to interrogate Kyouka. Mainly because she was with Atsushi now, but also because she already did enough. Since she lives with Atsushi too, it'd be too risky to try and talk to her, because even though she's well trained she would no doubt tell Atsushi what he wanted to hear if he asked kindly.
I don't blame her. I probably would too.
"Dazai." I began, kicking the door of the filing room shut and locking it behind me.
He smirked, "What's this? Locking the door on me? Am I in trouble?"
"We'll see." I edged, my heels clicking daringly as I walked towards him, "Atsushi seems to be spending a lot of quality time with you recently."
"You think so?"
"He's always suddenly running off to have a word with you." I added, recalling how he suddenly ran off claiming he needed to talk to Dazai right after friend zoning me, "What might you be talking about?"
He just smirked, "Don't you think it's a bit overzealous to be thinking we're just talking about you?"
"I wouldn't be here asking like this if I didn't think that I was at least one subject mentioned between you two."
He sighed as he plucked out some files, setting them on the ledge above him before pushing the drawer shut. He contemplated things for a moment and I let him, "Atsushi definitely has mentioned you."
"In what manner?"
"What ever might you mean by that?"
I glared at him as he glared back, "Why is he speaking to you about me, and what questions is he asking? He's the one who got me that cake because he felt like he should gift me something. No one else has ever done that here at the agency - no one here is too nervous to be direct when gifting someone something. But I know that he wouldn't be sure what my favorite cake was without help. You've been around me more than he has."
"Well, sure I encouraged him to buy you a slice of cake. But not even I know what your favorite is. You order a different kind everyday. I did try and see if there was a pattern to it once, but there isn't." He flipped through the files with his thumb, humming, "He has asked me things about romance. It's cute that he thought I had lots of experience. But he didn't ask me about the cake."
I blinked, my arms crossed as I thought about it, "He's asked you about romance?"
"Yes."
"But not about my favorite cake?"
"Nope." He popped the p and I rose my head to look at him with wonder in my eyes.
"There's no way he would have figured it out himself."
"Probably not."
"The only person who could know that is..."
"Ranpo-san." We both said together.
No way. I growled in my mind, stomping through the hall to get to Ranpo, who gladly was in the kitchen right now. I can't believe he's been inquiring about me to more than one person!
"Ranpo-san." I called out, and he craned his neck from his seat, sucking on a jello drink, "I have something I need to ask you."
"Oh. Okay."
"Please answer honestly." He rose a brow, urging me on, "What's my favorite cake?"
"Cheesecake."
"Good. Thank you... um, one more thing."
He sighed heavily, "Yes?"
"Has Atsushi asked you about anything strange in particular recently?"
"He asked more advice on impressing girls." He snorted, "What a nerd, he has no idea what he's doing."
"Did he say who it was he was interested in?"
"Oh, he didn't have to." Ranpo shrugged, "That much was way too obvi-"
I leaned forward slightly in anticipation, but he'd completely cut himself off and started shoving more food in his mouth as if he hadn't said anything in the first place. Did Atsushi ask him not to tell?
Great. If I can't get answers from the best detective, probably in this entire country, then I was really going to have to up my game.
"Kunikida-san. Good day."
"Yes, it is." He replied curtly, not turning to look at me from his note book, "Now what do you want?"
"I have a question."
"Is it work related?"
"Well, not exactly, but-"
"Then it's not that important is it?"
This... little... I cleared my throat, taking a breath to calm down, "Would you consider yourself someone qualified to give advice on a subject such as... romance?"
He finally turned in his chair to glare at me, "You too? What's with you people and romance? Is something going on that I don't know about?"
"What do you mean 'me too'? Who else has asked you?" I tilted my head in the most dumb manner I could, playing innocent.
Kunikida pinched his nose, holding his breath, "You and that brat, Atsushi. Honestly, this whole scenario is too weird to be-"
My eyes bulged as very suddenly, Naomi smacked Kunikida over the head with a magazine absolutely mercilessly.
"What do we have here~" She sang, "Are you looking for Atsushi, Ayame-chan? He just went out to mail something for me. He should be back any second!"
"Oh, right. I did have something to ask him too." I reminded myself, snapping my fingers, "I guess I'll be going. I'll be back."
"Have you finished your report?!" Kunikida yelled after me, and I yelled back that I had. So unless something crazy happened in the next few minutes, I was basically free all afternoon. Kunikida wasn't very happy today, and I can't imagine how much worse his mood got after Naomi smacked him for seemingly no reason at all.
I shut the office door behind me and took a moment to lean my ear against it.
"Do you know anything about confidentiality?!"
"What do you mean? I'm tired of pretending like I don't know!"
"It's not your job to confess for him! It's supposed to be spontaneous! Surprising! That's what gets the girl!"
I leaned back from the door and continued down the hall to find Atsushi. It looks like Atsushi was talking to not only Dazai about romance, but also Kunikida and even Naomi about it too - and confessing no less. But even with all that, could I still say with absolute positivity that the person he is asking these things about for is me? Not Kyouka?
I stopped in the cafe on the first floor. The boy walked in the door just as I stepped down the last stair onto the hardwood floor. It shut behind him and his head rose slowly to meet my eyes. His face was glowing, maybe just to me.
"Hi." He said sweetly, clearly he didn't expect me but he didn't seem unhappy to see me either.
With all this behind me, all this new confusion, things felt different. My heart was still racing, and I still felt the need to control myself from just walking over there and kissing him, but now I felt like I had a chance.
What a dangerous rush.
"Atsushi, what's my favorite cake?"
"Oh. Cheesecake."