Robe
“Y...Y-You’re naked...” His first words.
My world suddenly crashed. “I...I’m not naked!” I shouted at him who's now blushing. “I-I have my underwear!” I continued proving that I'm not naked, Gremory then took a deep breath like calming himself. He then tried to take a step but ended up trip. “Fuck!” I cussed when he fall in front of me.
He was on top of me and I can feel his thing bulging. Fuck, what kind of position is this?!
Glaring at him, “can’t you get up?! Nakadagan ka sa akin! Hindi ako makahinga!” Reklamo ko habang pilit itonv itinutulak paalis nanatili siyang namumula habang walang makapang salita.
About to slap him when a pair of foot appeared on the side door. “Ay shet!” Malakas na sigaw ni Rossweisse. Yes sa lahat pa naman nang pwedeng pumasok bakit si Rossweisse pa?! “Akala ko tulog ka?!” Nanlalaki ang mga mata nito habang nakaturo ang daliri kay Gremory na dahan-dahang tumatayo. “B..B-Bakit ka nandito?! Pare makasuhan ka sa ginagawa mo!”
Gremory grabbed his shoulder and started to shake him harshly. “It’s not what you think! I didn't!”
“Tanga nakita ko!”
“It wasn't! We're not!”
“Bobo tignan mo pantalon mo may tent! Tanga!”
Sa narinig ay sabay kaming tatlong napatingin sa tinutukoy ni Rossweisse. I froze realizing upon looking at it, of course he was no longer an average teenager. Gremory hissed. Sinapak nito si Rossweisse at walang lingon-lingon na nagtatakbo papalayo.
Pagkuwanay nag-iwas din ng tingin si Rossweisse sa akin. “Kailangan ko ng holy water..” Anito.
Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. “Oo kasi binabalandra ni Ivory katawan niya sa harapan mo.” Pabalang kong sagot.
“Change topic!” Aniya at nagmamadali na ring umalis before he left he told me he'll bring Deiry. Truth on his words Deiry did come but with an disgusted expression. Dala-dala ang tatlong makakapal na twalyang nakatupi, tatlong long sleeve at jogging pants.
She then turned her back as she wait for me to be dressed. Like an impatient mother she began to tap her finger onto her crossed arm,“how was it?” Deiry suddenly asked.
I knew what she meant. Deiry is asking how was that meeting.. If I'm okay seeing Gremory again, concluding all the things happened he must be on this rest house on the beginning avoiding us as what Rossweisse told. Maybe he's ashamed to see me above him. I'm no longer tied on schemes of his and mine, the unwanted feeling of light obsession.
I unconsciously touched my chest where my heart's direction, it didn't beat fast whenever I see him way back. Nothing but numbness was found, no ounce of excitement nor happiness...
I smiled at her, “I guess it's okay..” I answered.
Deiry's brows knitted, “a-aren’t you angry with him?” I wear my sweat shirt and started to walk towards her. “Well?” There's a trace of curiosity on her face, “if you're not okay with him.. I'll tell them right away or we can settle it down without you and him encountering again.. Given the fact on what happened between you in the past without closure nor explanation... I–––” Deiry didn't have the chance to continue her words when I cut her off.
“This feelings of mine were nothing but hatred.. If you're worrying that I might cry or whatever,” I stared at her black eyes. “It won't happen. I have nothing to be ashamed of, he was the one at fault, I was the victim so why would I hide and avoid him? Beat it, if he's a human I'm sure he'll feel guilty everytime he hears my name or see my face and if it wasn't then he was just simply built that way.” No words came out on her mouth like she didn't expect me to act like that.
Together we walk outside hand to hand, diretso sa labas kung saan naroon silang lahat. When we came there everyone fell at silence, Viech and Clasper on the other hand hurriedly went on my side. Like a silent war that they only know.
I felt clasper calloused, big and warm hand covering mine. I felt his hot breath on my neck, he then whispered. “Are you okay?”
Nanatili ang tingin ko sa malayo, “are you okay?” Balik kong tanong sakanya na ilinatigil nito. Rossweisse and Xerxes gaze were undeniably into ours, “how was it? Did you gain anything other than mourning and constantly blaming yourself?” I bluntly commented.
Clasper was silent I can feel his ragged breath indicating any moment his tears might fall.. I know the fact that he was overly sensitive at this matter but I cannot bear him seeing like this, he must hear the truth even how many times I have to repeat it.. “I-I... It was my fault..” Iniwan na kami ni Deiry na ngayo’y nakikipag-usap kay Shamaine, kaming tatlo lamang nila Viech ang nasa sulok na ito. Marahan kong hinaplos ang kanyang buhok tila pinapatahan kahit na wala pang luha ang maaring pumatak.
Meanwhile Viech is now busy eating his heart out, the sound of the crabs shell while breaking it was loud enough to caught the attention of the others. Hinayaan ko nalang I actually see him like a brother but I won't tell him.
“It’s okay for you to cry... Real men cries..” I said.
“Are you gonna leave me, Dorothy?” A question I wasn't prepared for. “You saw him again.... I know we can't predict what will happen next.. What if you'll leave me? What if you'll come with him and forget what we started? Can I stop you? Can I gripped tighter on the schemes entangled on us? Can I?”
I sighed heavily.. “Why would I? Sooner or later ikaw ang mang-iiwan Clasper.. Iiwan natin ang isa’t isa na para bang walang nangyari.. Ganoon naman ‘di ba? Kapag natapos na ang lahat ng ‘to iisa lang ang bagsak ko... Panandaliang kasiyahan lang ang makukuha ko at pagkatapos ‘non ay hindi ko na alam... Pero ikaw paano ka? Kasi ako ayaw ko na talaga...”
“For the passed years you ignored my advices... Won't you want to hear his apology? Maybe it can lighten your burdens...”
“Do you want me to hear it?”
“Why are you asking me? It's your choice... I just want you to hear everything on your own will... It's your trauma, fears and feelings.. ” My gaze accidentally flew on him, he was surrounded by dark aura while staring at something.. I don't want to assume but it's like he was seeing us like a germs. “He suffered too... The recorded audio that went viral on our school forum and was played over our court.. It was Rafiya’s scheme...”
“But he did talk behind my back like I was a filthy toy...”
“Yeah, I wanna beat him into pulp because of that but we don't know what really happened.. Baka mamaya iyong narinig ng lahat ay kalahati lang ng dapat? O may iba pang dahilan?”
“He treated me badly and when I'm slowly drifting away he'll pull me harder on him until I continue to fall deeper and deeper.. It was a cycle.. Repeated, constantly, and slowly losing my suppose respect on myself... Basta tinatanggap ko nalang lahat ng mga ginagawa niya noon... I thought everything was okay! It was normal, yes I'll complained that I shouldn't experience that but then in a sudden blink of eye, it was starting over and over again... Nakakapagod.. Nakakawasak.. Nakakaadik...”
“I’m sorry...”
“But for you I will listen to him but please don't expect me to forgive and accept his words easily... Sino bang may pakana ng forgive and forget? Tangina, hanggang mamatay dalhin ko nalang ‘tong sama ng loob ko hanggang maging green house na ‘tong pagtatanim ko ng sama ng loob.”
Sa bandang huli’y sabay kaming natawa. Maging si Viech ay napailing-iling nalang sa amin ng magsimula na kaming magkaroon ng sariling mundo, ramdam na ramdam ko ang mga titig nila at ang isang nakakapangilabot na tingin mula sa ibang tao..
It was a night full of twinkling stars.
__________
I thought everything will be okay when we finally reached home. I was waiting for Deiry here at the bar, I wasn't the one who suggested it. I'm totally innocent.
Strange, nag-aya si Deiry magbar? Anong meron?
I told Viech to wait for her at the main door bukod tanging mga kilala lamang kasi ang nakakapasok sa high end bar na ito, my mouth is itching to speak up.. to know what happened to her but when I saw her walking towards me with a puffy eyes, a sad and betrayed expression written all over her face... I lost it.. My anger rose immediately as I pull her for a hug..
Deiry is sobbing... Deiry is crying..
I gritted my teeth on anger. “Who the fuck made you cry?!” I shouted enough for everyone to turn their heads on our table, I didn't care, the hell with them. “Answer me! Who's the bastard? Or it is a bitch?”
Deiry smiled painfully, “I don't know.. Both?” She then chuckled faintly.
We ordered alcohol, snacks and I even ordered a expensive cigarettes to vent my frustrations.. Deiry on the other hand was just silent while eating, I let her be, let her be at peace before trying to ask. Scrolling down on my news feed there I saw what probably made her cry..
On a lobby with media gathered Ivory Aguilar and Rossweisse Victoria kissing around them.. I remained silent, I saw the last photo. I slammed the table in anger, zooming in the last photo you're clearly see Deiry standing at them with astonishment and she's like carrying a lunch box?
That damn Rossweisse who swore won't let my bestfriend cry!
Makakatikim siya sa akin pagkatapos nito. I'll make sure to teach him a lesson. Hours had passed lalong tumitindi ang tama ng alcohol, panay ang lagok namin ni Deiry na para bang nagpapaligsahan.
“He told me not to worry about the girl..” She said still straightly spoken. “Multiple times I've asked him.. And it kinda sucks seeing him do the opposite. Damn he didn't even told me that he loves me yet he easily say it aloud to that girl...” I patted her back at pasimpleng sinasalinan ang shot glass nito.
Without any hesitation she gulped all the liquor. “Those kind of men deserve to choke on their own dicks, mother fuckers!” I cussed, Deiry laughed. “Putang ina mo bitch mangaagaw ka. Sariling Boyfriend ko inaangkin mo na. Puta ka ano bang kasalanan ko. Pukeng ina ginawa mo sakin ito. Trinato kita para kong kapatid. Sulutera ka ang galing mo manungkit. Fuck you bitch boyfriend ko na siya, tigilan mo na ang kalandian mo sakanya.." Hindi ko alam kung nakailang bote na kami dahil bigla nalamang kusang bumuka ang aking bibig at kinanta ang mga lirikong naglalaro sa aking isipan.
Deiry laughed, nawawala na rin sa sairli. "Ano ba nagawa ko sa iyo pati syota ko ay inaagaw mo. Nung una sa kwento 'di ako naniniwala na kasama ako katulad mo, parang tanga nirespeto kita binigay pagtitiwala pero. Putang ina bigla mo nalang itong sinira magkasama lang kayo.." Her voice raised. "Akala mo mahal ka na kaya tuloy sa tabi ako ngayo'y nag-iisa tahimik, litong-lito prang tanga upang walang hadlng na kayo ay lumigaya ikaw pa rin ang nag-iisang kong kaagaw pero ewan ko sayo biglang tinalikuran."
With that, we started to sing the chorus. "Putangina mo bitch mang-aagaw ka! Gago kayo ng boyfriend kong tarantado! Puta ka ano bang kasalanan ko. Pukeng ina ginawa mo sa akin ito. Trinato kita para kong kapatid. Sulutera ka ang galing mo manungkit."
I could understand why Deiry feel that way, I thought again of those scars engraved on our souls no matter how we do, no matter how hard we forget when the same scenario appears it always came back.. Slowly and painfully dissolving the future we wanted, I closed my eyes for a second..
Bigla kong naramdaman ang isang maugat na kamay na dahan-dahang lumalakbay sa gilid ng aking bewang.. My sight is blurry, tuluyan ng nilamon ng alak. I don't even know what I'm doing, I just let myself drowned into the influence of alcohol...
“Damn, you smelled alcohol and cigarettes..” I heard someone angrily said. Am I floating? Para akong dinuduyan, I giggled. “Dorothy..”
I continued to wiggled my body, “and sex?” I shamelessly said.
I felt the person's body began to stiff “What?!” The voice shouted. “Do you really act like this when drunk? Paano kung hindi ako ang sumundo sa iyo ngayon? Paano kung ibang lalaki? They might take advantage of you at this state! Kung iinom ka dapat sa ligtas na lugar at may kasama kang mapagkakatiwalaan!”
Anong sinasabi niya? Ah? Para siyang si mama at nanay ang bilis niyang magsermon na para bang rapper.
“Hmmm..” I hummed and nuzzled my face on the persons neck.
A protest came out. “D-Dorothy stop kissing my neck!” Humagikgik ako. “And all your drinks were payed. I'll ask you once you wake up.”
I raised my hand like reaching the fairies I'm seeing. “The world is spinning! There are fairies! Ah!”
A deep breathe was heard. “There’s no fairies just a monster carrying a drunk goddess.”
My mouth formed into a ‘o’. “Y-You’re a monster? Y..You'll eat me?” Even my sight is blurry I'm sure I saw the person's face turned red. Nanghihina kong inabot ang pisngi nito at tinapik.. “K-Kainin mo ako?”
The person licked he's lower lip, “anong klaseng kain ba ang tinutukoy mo?”
I slap his chest. “Pervert!”
This time he chuckled. I leaned and rested on his well toned chest unaware of what's happening on my surroundings. The last time I saw was we're entering a car and Viech on the outside talking to someone.. Ah, too tired. The moon was was deeply buried on the thick clouds, darkness covered a unknown room.
Suddenly I felt hot.. A strange hotness like something is tickling me from the insides, a itchy feeling spreading on my body. Nagsimula na akong mamawis ng matindi, nagreklamong mainit..
“W-What? I..I’ll turn on the aircon!” A faint voice panicking. “W..Wait! H...Huwag kang maghubad!” Saway nito at may kung anong pinindot..
Ramdam ko ang pagtaas ng temperatura sa paligid pero hindi pa rin naibsan ang kakaibang init na nararamdaman ko. “I...It’s hot... H-Help me..” My eyes moisted.. Kakaiba, pasakit na ng pasakit. “P-Please...” I trembled and started to hold on something to gather strength... A large hand held my shoulders.
“W-What...” My tears began to fall.. “Fuck! The mixed drug on your alcohol! This is what I'm saying!” Anito, “wait.. I'm gonna call some maids to guard you.. I can't stay with you... I'm dangerous too at this situation..”
Hinawakan ko ang kamay niya at paulit-ulit na umiling... “N-No.. H-Help me..” Hindi ko namalayang tanging brassier nalang ang suot kong pang itaas.. Wala akong ideya kung bakit basta para akong sinisilaban at tanging siya lamang ang makakatulong sa akin.. “I..I have my consent.. H..Help me.. Y..You have my request you won't harassed me like what they did... please..”
“But you'll regret this tomorrow. I know you don't want this.. You're not on your normal state..”
“I am! Kaya nga nagpapatulong ako!”
“No. ” He said with finality.
I clenched my fist. “Gremory!” Sigaw ko sakanyang pangalan at marahas na hinablot ang neck tie nito... I stared at his eyes, “please..”
A moment passed. Our face collided, I felt his hot breathe fanned on me. Our tounge played with each other, the warmth spread like a wild fire that was ignited. I felt the soft mattress on my back, Gremory who's on the top letting me feast on his naked upper body.
He kissed me roughly yet it gave me a different feeling... I should be disgusted, I should be angry but I don't know.. I really don't know what I'm doing. “I want you to know that I'm the happiest man alive as of now..” He whispered.
______________
#Robe