OC BY MEOWMEOW422
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NOTES
Nov 12, 2021: I have no idea where the old image went, so I'll just use a new one.
WARNINGS
Spoilers from the book EVHaH, by meowmeow422. Slight mentions of self harm and rape.
Chosen by me and the owner of this oc.
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𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐒
Name: Hiroto Asumiya
A catchy yet simple name. Good job!
Nicknames: Captain Hiroto/Hiro, Hiroto-sama/Hiro-sama, Asumiya-san/-sama, Corrupted Captain (once corrupted)
Everything looks good here!
Gender: Male
Age: 17
Birth Date: April 2nd
Astrology Sign: Aries
Birth Place: Guns and Knives Avenue, Viletown
Currently Living In: Goodness' Sake Street, VileTown
Not a lot of people mention where the town their character is living in, much less the place they were born in, so nice work on this one!
Species: Human
Race: East Asian
Citizenship: The Vile
Everything looks good in this section.
FAMILY
Father: Jokiyu Asumiya
His name is very unique and satisfying to pronounce! I like it!
Age: 38
Relationship: Hiroto neither hates nor is scared of his father; he's outright terrified of the older man--at first. But over the years, Hiroto begun to love and see his father for who he truly is; a good man with a bad rep.
Hiroto has an interesting yet unique relationship with his father, so good work on originality!
Short bio: Jokiyu was supposed to be in prison for multiple charges; such as 'robbery' and 'child abuse'. But was sent to a mental asylum instead. The man has dyed blonde hair and dangerously dark brown eyes with freckled skin almost as dark as his eyes--his real hair is black. He held many deranged beliefs due to his declining mental state. He's rumoured to once be a member of a terrorist cult known simply as, 'Harbingers'. Due to the type of woman he's met in his life, he's become a sexist.
This explains why Hiroto was terrified of his father at first.
Is there a reason why Jokiyu was sent to a mental asylum instead of a prison? I'm assuming that the robbery and child abuse he did wasn't too extreme, but still required attention, which is why he ended up in a mental asylum.
It would also be good to specify a bit more on his crimes. Which child did he abuse? How did he abuse them? What did Jokiyu steal and how much?
Mother: Hitomi Kimo-Jacques
Age: 32
Relationship: Hitomi has quite a lot of animosity towards her son while Hiroto loves his mother (initially).
Short bio: Hitomi was 'raped' as a teen and got pregnant. Her family, despite being ashamed, were pro-life therefore she was not allowed to have an abortion. After only 7 months, Hiroto was born. Hitomi hated her son, as he was a reminder of another horrible man. But she was forced to raise him nonetheless. Once he turned 5, his mother planned to put him to sleep. She went to a nearby riverbank and tossed her child into the cold water. Watching for only a moment before quickly disappearing; not before grinning as her son started to cry and scream. She's now married to a wealthy man and has a daughter who she truly loves. Hitomi has forgotten all about Hiroto.
A realistic explanation on why Hitomi couldn't get an abortion, and though that's already bad enough, at least Hitomi's parents were sad about it (though I vibe with with abortion, an unwanted pregnancy wouldn't be celebrated, not even by pro-lifers).
I've also seen many survivors of rape still having trauma many years after getting raped (obviously it got less intense, but still). Not to mention Hitomi also got pregnant and tried to drown her child. What I'm saying is that once a week or something, Hitomi may get a small flashback, reminding her of what happened back in her teens. Though it would only trigger a bit of guilt (or another unpleasent emotion) at most, Hitomi wouldn't forget about Hiroto completely.
Half-Sister: Muto Marianne Kimo-Jacques (she/them/her)
To simplify, Muto's pronouns would be shy/they. Correct me if I'm wrong, I'm not an expert with pronouns.
Age: 12
Relationship: Complicated. Muto is fond of Hiroto, although they have interacted sparsely. Muto has stated that she thinks Hiroto is cool and funny. The older boy has never revealed the truth to Muto in fear it might make them hate him.
Short bio: Muto has pretty red hair and azure eyes. She has delicate porcelain skin and a bright smile that could rival Hiroto's. She is a student at PriVi, and about to attend middle school soon. Muto is an excitable half-weeb, considering her French accent and voice. Despite her posh appearance, Muto is also a slight tomboy. The two half-siblings usually bond over their love of sports. Muto never understood why Hiroto would vanish as soon as her mother came though. Despite this all, Hiroto loves them dearly.
Nothing much to say here. It's nice that Hiroto and Muto have something to bond over with, and that they are friendly with each other. I also really like that Muto has a French accent (I think accents are cool, even if they don't sound good-)!
Extended Family Member(s):
Mozq Azumiya (zhe, zhim, zher)
I have never seen a character with neopronouns before, so points for originality! Even more points for making Mozq's pronouns based on he/him/his(?), therefore making them still unique, but not too complicated to use.
Age: 44
Relationship: Jokiyu's older sibling, who insists on Hiroto calling zhim 'aun-cle'. Zhe is a wild and insane person who's also in an asylum--in fact after Jokiyu is admitted, the two siblings' cells are right next to each other. Despite zher behaviour, zhe can calm down and talk normally; as long as nothing provokes zhim.
Everything is good here. It's sweet that both of their cells are beside each other! The fact that zhe is also in a mental hospital is a cool detail about zhim, so nice creativity!
Short bio: Zhe has red eyes and dirty blonde hair. Zher skin is slightly softer then zher brother's. Once or twice every month, Jokiyu would bring his son to visit Mozq. The older person is always elated to see zher younger brother. At first, zhe was shocked to learn they now had a nephew--but zhe was not affronted in the least; in fact, zhe was beyond pleased. Now, Hiroto--along with Konoki on occasion--visit the two siblings every month. Usually just idle chatter or Hiroto telling them about any competitions he's participated in. Or gushing about a certain redhead.
Hiroto and Mozq have a good and realistic relationship with each other. It makes sense that the two only talk about simple subjects, because of the big age gap.
𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐒
I don't see many people having this section about their character. However, it really helps flesh your characters out, so everyone (including yourself), can know them better and see them more than just some drawing.
Favourite Food(s): Spicy food. But he does enjoy the occasional dessert.
Favourite Sport(s): Soccer, obstacle races, and the occasional parkour.
Favourite Show(s): He loves watching rom-coms, or anything with a 'normal' family in it.
With Hiroto's past, it makes sense, but it's also quite sad:(
Favourite Music: Loves any that sounds inspirational/motivating; the kind of songs that are usually in 'workout playlists'.
Favourite Colour(s): Green and red.
Clothing Style / Preferences: Hiroto loves wearing jackets--particularly the VileTown High varsity jacket and his customised VTH jacket. His loves for jacket comes from his father who likes bomber jackets. Hiroto likes wearing VTH stuff because it makes him feel like he belongs; like he's wanted.
Aww, the last part is so wholesome! But sad at the same time...
Hobbies: Surprisingly, Hiroto likes to just sit down with his grandpa, Kiyu curled in his lap--when he's not training that is. He's a social person but once in a while he wants to just sit down somewhere quiet and peaceful.
Role Model(s):
a) His father, after he found out Jokiyu's true nature.
b) His grandpa, for accepting him (Hiroto) as he is.
c) His aun-cle, because zhe is always smiling and finding joy in life--no matter how much it tries to turn the smile upside-down.
d) His half-sister, for becoming what he is not; someone a parent can be proud of.
e) Moriko Tsumiakadu, for saving Hiroto from his own darkness and a lot more.
Likes: The gym, parks, Moriko, his teammates, his friends, his family (yes, all of them), birds, cats, animals in general, authority, power, responsibility, freedom
Dislikes: Females (formerly), death, betrayal, the people he loves being taken from him, not getting his way, people abusing their power
The likes and dislikes are satisfactory, but there should be more of the less obvious ones (for example, maybe Hiroto likes mornings and dislikes staying up late).
𝐒𝐎𝐂𝐈𝐎/𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐂
Economic Class: Lower class(former), Middle class
Occupation: Student, a rookie athlete--but has been scouted by soccer teams.
Income: 2500 yen for every game he plays, an additional 500 for every goal he scores.
2500 yen is about 20 USD (about 25 Canadian dollars), so for someone Hiroto's age it doesn't seem like a bad pay. Plus he gets some extra money for each goal.
Residence: Lives with his maternal grandfather in an 'ancient' home.
Transportation: Hiroto often just walks/jogs whenever he need to go somewhere--running if he has to. But once he turned 14, he bought himself a bicycle to make his life a little easier.
𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘
Good Qualities / Trait(s): He's a hard worker and a team player. A bright persona only matched by his smile. Able to look over past mistakes. He can think strategically and smartly, but would often ask for others' opinion.
Everything looks good here!
Negative Trait(s): He usually tends to act on impulse and instincts. He's easily manipulated and naïve/a little too trusting. He's also possessive of the things--and people--he loves. He's all too ready to sacrifice himself.
You mentioned that Hiroto tends to think smartly/strategically, but here you mentioned that he acts on impulse/instincts (which isn't always considered smart). To clear this up you here's a question: is Hiroto more of a think before you act person, or a act before you think person? Does it depend on his mood or what he's doing?
Apart from that, everything looks good. It's amazing to have a character with good and bad traits, and I can already start to understand Hiroto better!
Strengths: He's great at any physical endeavors, and is able to work wonderfully with others.
Weaknesses: Hiroto lacks in intelligence and street smarts. He's also quite dependant.
This clashes with how he's able to think smartly (you stated that he lacks in intelligence, which would make him a dumber person in general). Maybe Hiroto is smart in some things that are considered useful (like social situations), and dumb in others (like school things and street smarts)?
Habits / Idiosyncrasies / Quirks: Once he knew how his mother really thought of him, he began developing a cutting habit. After getting caught then comforted by his father, he stops; he still does it when he's incredibly stressed though.
That's sad but at least he does it less nowadays:(
Phobia / Fears: Being forgotten, being left behind & being ignored. He also has phobia of large bodies of water.
Match very well with the rest of his personality! Great work!
Personality type: ENFP
Just putting a character's personality type already says a lot about them! Mixed with Hiroto's personal traits, we can understand them even better!
ENFP Traits: Warm, enthusiastic, empathic, caring, charismatic, creative, social, able to understand complex concepts, needs approval from others, disorganized. Please note that not all these traits will apply to ENFP people/characters.
𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄
Height: 183 cm (6 ft)
Weight: 69 kg (152 lbs)
Frame / Build: The male has a solid, athletic build and a muscled body.
This is a realistic body for Hiroto to have, since he's an athlete.
Hair length: Hiroto's hair is unevenly cut, with some of his bangs reaching his chin. But the back of his hair barely even reaches his nape.
Try not to make his bangs cover his eyes a lot because that will get in the way during his soccer games, unless he ties it up (in a man bun or something).
Hair colour: His hair is onyx-coloured--or more accurately, a very dark grey colour.
Eye shape: The male has down-turned eyes.
Eye colour: Right eye is a pretty spring green while the other is a ruby hue. He often cover his left eye though.
Though I'm not too familiar with the PPNKGZ world, I think most of the other characters have some unrealistic features. And plus, below there's a few pictures of Hiroto, and he looks pretty badass in my opinion!
Is there a reason why he covers his left eye? It doesn't have to be deep, maybe just a slight insecurity of his.
Complexion: Hiroto has brown skin like his father.
Face (size, features, etc): He has a strong jaw and high cheekbones. Other than the shape of his eye--and the colour of it--he looks like Jokiyu.
Voice type: The teen has a bright, cheerful and slightly deep voice.
Tattoo(s): None--but his father once drew henna tattoos on his son's arm to match with his own.
Scar(s): Hiroto has some self-inflicted cuts on his upper arm.
Other notable accessories: N/A
Any other identifying mark(s): N/A
Pictures:
(Disclaimer: Artwork doesn't belong to me. It belongs to the creator of this oc, and can viewed on pages 8 and 10 in their art book.)
𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐋
Hiroto may not come from the best family, but with his happy attitude, who can really guess? Plus, though they may seem messed up, most of Hiroto's family members are good at heart. Take ELEPHANT for example; zhe may be in a mental hospital, but remains cheerful and happy, always encouraging for Hiroto to go on.
The boy definitely has the looks. And I'm not only talking about being attractive, but his different colored eyes (even if hidden by an eyepatch) look pretty badass and mysterious! Matched with his smile, Hiroto has a catchy look, which will gain him some popularity.
What makes this even better is that you drew Hiroto. It doesn't matter how good you currently are at art, the more you draw, the more you improve, and the better your art will be! What does this mean? Well, you'll get to show Hiroto's design better, which will make him even more memorable!
Plenty of information was given on Hiroto's family. They play a big role in his life (both currently, and in the past). You mentioned a lot of details (mainly the major ones) of Hiroto's backstory, though it would be great if you could provide a section just for Hiroto's backstory, so we can gather all those details (and a few new ones) to understand how Hiroto came to be.
A relationship section would be good too. Though you gave good explanation of Hiroto's family, what about his friends? Love interests? Enemies? Rivals? This would flesh out Hiroto even more!
Because Hiroto is part of a fandom that I'm not too familiar with, I can't give you much plot ideas. But if he wasn't part of a fandom, Hiroto would fit in well with a book/roleplay about sports (something like Haikyuu). But you mentioned about Hiroto getting corrupted (probably having something to do with the original PPNKGZ plot), so that probably plays some kind of role.
Overall, Hiroto is a well made character. Even if you leave him be I wouldn't be too conflicted (though it would make Hiroto a better character if you included his backstory and more relationships, and the other smaller things I mentioned). Great work!