Aditi's point of view
Silence...
I swear silence can hang in the air like ten thousand pounds of dead weight. It's incredible how heavy you can feel when there's is nothing being sad. Like right now. I am with Dhruv inside his car.
He was driving and maybe focusing on it, I am not sure. It's already half an hour passed when he dragged me out from the parry and asked me to come to his house but after that he never said a word. He did not look to my side in past half an hour. There is this thick silence between us but I can tell so much going on in our minds and we both are fighting with our own thoughts.
Silence it's a strong word. It has two meanings. One where there is no single sound and a silence of calmness and second where being silent you keep fighting the inner war inside you. The war with your mind, your own thoughts. This is not the silence of calmness, it gives you headache but is silence love?
The pan of having love as deep as ocean inside you but having to say No! I don't love you, That is silence. But he did ask me. He asked me if I feel same for him, if he like him but he never asked me if I love him if he would I may say the truth.
For me, he is the silence, I never stop thinking of. I closed my mouth and speak to him in a hundred silent ways.
My life's mistake was to think that I will be ok without him.
The is..I am not and I will never be.
I miss him a lot every single day. Every fucking single second.
I was made for him, I was born for him, I love him with all my soul, with all my broken heart.
I don't remember when car came to an halt but when I the chain of my thoughts broke and I came to a reality, Dhruv was standing at my side extending his left hand for me while holding the car door in his right hand.
I looked at his hand and then him. He gave me heart warming smile. I smiled too and hold his hand. I hopped outside the car. Dhruv locked the car and we headed to small house in front of us. This area was far form the main city. There are lots of trees and so much greenery outside. I am sure the nearest village from the city must be mile away from here. I can only see few houses in neighbourhood.
Dhruv is the District Magistrate of the city. State government must have give him bungalow. I wondered why he is living is this rural area where he can live in a full facilities mansion in the main city.
Meanwhile I was wondering about the surroundings, Dhruv opened the main door for us. But as I step inside thw house, the smell of rotten food hit me. I wondered my eyes around the main hall comes livingroom, I saw empty beer bottles, cigarette buds, piles of clothes on the floor, dirty plates were still on the table and the food on it already get the fungus.
"Dhruv, I think we came to the wrong house." I said while looking at the condition of the house. I turn around to go outside but Dhruv hold my hand. I looked at him questioningly when he said,"Aditi, actually we are in the right house." He said sheepishly and rubbed the nape of his neck with his hand. He looked embarrassed and cuet at the same time but I was shocked too.
"What..? You live here?" I asked shockingly and he nodded his head while thinning his lips.
"But how can someone live here? It's...I... It's literally a garbage." I hesitate first but could not stop myself looking at the condition of the house.
"I live here alone." He shrugged his both shoulders like it's not a big deal.
Well not for him because he is the Dhruv Malhotra.
"You are an IAS officer and probably make enough money to hire a maid who could do house chores for you?" After seeing the condition of his house, I forget what I was feeling before and I was beyond shock the my handsome neighbour is living here.
"I don't like strangers in my house." He said. I looked at him unbelievably when he said casually like living like this is normal.
Well Dhruv Malhotra don't do anything which is normal.
I shake my head and tie my dupatta at one side of my waist and started picking up his clothes from the floor one by one while he was keep looking at me confusingly.
"Is there any broom and mop here?" I asked while picking his dirty t-shirt from the couch.
"Yeah, I think they are in balcony. Raghav gifted them to me when he visited last time." He said still looking at me and I looked at him shockingly.
Instead of arranging a maid for him Raghav gifted him mop and broom? Are they both serious? Both friends are alike.
"By the way, why are you asking?" He finally asked me. I turn to his side and said, "Because I am going to clean this place."
"What..? No..." He took two long strides and snatched the clothes from my hand.
"I didn't bring you here to clean my house. I bring you here so we could sit and talk for some time." He said. I snatched the clothes from his hands and asked, "Can you see any place here to sit?"
He looked around and he know I had a point.
He looked at me and said, "We can go outside. I call someone to clean this latter."
But I am not still convinced because I know he won't call anyone.
"Dhruv I can do this and I know you won't call anyone." I said tried to convince him.
"But..."
"If you want you can also help me." I give him smile.
He sighed and nodded his head while closing his eyes showing that I finally convinced him. Dhruv went to balcony and bring broom and mop for both of us. First we both started putting things on their places. Dhruv thriw the empty beer bottles and cigarette buds into the trash bins because he strictly ordered me not to touch such things meanwhile I put his dirty clothes into the washing machine including his underwears. He refused but at last I won and he let me do what I want.
I bent down to pick the dirty dishes from the floor and when I stood straight, all plates drop down clattering to the floor from my hand and I stood there shock and numb.
Dhruv was removing his shirt very slowly. His back was on my side so he could not see my reaction. His broad shoulders and the flexing muscles, reminding me the night when I was sitting on his lap and he waa kissing. He said he was kissing away my pain but he didn't know that his touch pleasuring me. I felt desire for him.
Sweat was dripping from his back and my eyes were flowing every drop which was sliding down on his back nad hide under his jeans. I gulped down when his strong arms finally remove the shirt. I don't know if he is doing purposely or it just me that everything seems happen in slow motion like a movie.
..and when he finally turned his eyes met with mine. I find myself lost in his beautiful orbs. I again found myself drawn in the depth of his ocean like eyes.
"Aditi..."
He was calling me but it seems my mind block every voice because I am drowning inside the ocean of his eyes and there any voice can not reach me.
"Aditi.."
His voice...
His voice is so melodious that I can not hear such melodious voice ever in my life and how it calms my heart when my name rolled on his tongue. No matter how hard I try to ignore him I attracted to him like moth to a flame. It burns the inside of me every time he touch me or kissed me. His touch was so warm, welcoming and pleasurable at the same time.
"Aditi, you okay..?" I came out from my dreamland when he finally calls me little louder.
I blinked many times to get out from my dream. I was sweating.
"Sorry, You were saying something?" I asked while wiping the sweat from my forehead.
He smirked and said, "Were you ogling me?"
Yes, I want to say loud but can't.
"What..? No..o...of.. of course not. I don't ev...even..kn..know wh...what are you talking about." I chuckled nervously.
"I know, you know that what I am talking about." He started walking towards me with a same smirk on his lips. Amusement was playing in his eyes making me nervous and wonder, what is going inside his mind.
At party when he asked me about how could I do so much love to him. I didn't answer because First I don't know myself and second I don't want to let him know that I love him.
He is walking towards me without shirt. My mind was confused, where to look at, His eyes or his bare chest.
"Dhruv, What are you doing?" I asked taking a step back, my eyes went to his chest for mere second but I convinced my mind not to look there.
"Nothing..." He decreased the distance between us and caged me between the walls and his strong arms. His both hands were on the both sides of my head. My heart was beating faster and cheeks are red with the effect of his closeness. My eyes again went down to his bare chest and I gulp down.
I looked back into his eyes and said, "Can you please put some shirt on?"
He smiles and bent down to my face level.
"Why...?" He whispered while leaning more to my face.
"Do I effect you?" He took my right hand and put on his bare chest and making sure to fan his hot breath and brushing lips to my ear when he speaks. I closed my eyes and bit my lower lip to suppress the moan. He took a sharp breath when he started moving my hand over his naked chest and abs.
"I am asking something?" He put my hand over his heart which was beating like mine and asked me while sucking my earlobe when I didn't answer him.
I nodded my head timidly, still closing my eyes. I opened my eyes slowly when I no more found his lips sucking my earlobe and when I open my eyes I found him looking at me amusingly.
"Then You are accepting that you were ogling me before." He asked while suppressing his laugh. I felt embarrassed and angry. He was messing with me and I thought he is being romantic with me. I plattered my feelings in front of him just like that.
"No.." I pushed him with the same hand which was on his chest. He took a step back and started laughing.
"You does not effect me and I wasn't ogling you." I said while throwing a t-shirt on his way and he catch it.
"Think what helps you in sleep." He teased me and wore the t-shirt which I thrown on him earlier.
I didn't say anything further to give him a chance to tease me more and pick the broom started cleaning the living area. Dhruv came and suddenly kissed on my right cheek from behind making me shock. I looked at him, he smiled and winked at me, while walking towards the bedroom. A blushing smile crept on my lips. I chuckled shyly while biting my lower lip and again started doing my work.
First we both clean the living room, then kitchen and then we both headed to his bedroom. The most toughest thing was to clean the kitchen. The sink was overflowing with water, all dishes are dirty and rats were doing the party along with cockroaches.
It took more than two hours to clean whole house. When I was cleaning the bedroom, Dhruv went somewhere telling me that he will come un fifteen minutes but it's already half an hour and he didn't come. I don't have a mobile phone so I could call him and the weather got rainy too.
I spread the clean bedsheet on the bed and set the pillows.
"Aditi..." When I was cleaning his study table I heard my name being called from the living room.
I walked outside the bedroom and saw Dhruv was putting plastic bags on the table, full of vegetables and groceries.
"I thought you were hungry so went outside to bring food. But got only this. I hope you manage." He said and scratch the nape of his neck looking so damn cute. I smiled and walked to him.
"I will manage." I pick the plastic bags and said looking at him with smile. I walked to the kitchen and I know he was following me.
I out all the bags on the kitchen counter and check the groceries. There is jar of coffee, noodles, macaroni and vegetables. I know after all cleaning he is hungry. It's about to rain so we should hurry as I have to leave for house before 7:00.
I took out the packet of Macaroni and some vegetables. He didn't bring rice and wheat flour with him so I have to cook macaroni or noodles. These both things have beautiful memories of me and Dhruv which I was holding inside me from years.
I washed the vegetables and started cutting them with knife. I cut the vegetables and made macaroni and noodles with tea. Dhruv wanted to help me but I asked him to clean the balcony which I left. He obayed and went to clean the balcony. He has the beautiful house. Just like I want.
Small and cozy..
When the food prepared, I served everything in two plates and went outside the kitchen with food tray. I called for him when I didn't found him in living room. He told me that he is in bedroom and I went to bedroom with food.
When I reached the bedroom he was sitting on the floor near the balcony, with guitar in his hand and rain was pouring heavily outside. He was playing a beautiful melody which was slow but painful. I still don't know about his life. He always talk about me and my happiness but never share his pain. He told me that he will tell me when he will be ready and I am waiting for the day when he will share his pain to me.
He smiles when he noticed my presence in the room. I smiled back and walked to him with a food tray.
He put the guitar aside and give me a place to sit beside him. I gave him one plate and I took another one.
"I don't know that you can play guitar." I said and offer him a tea.
"You don't know many things about me?" He took the cup from my hand and put it on the floor.
"I would love to." I muttered under my breath and looked on the other side to hide my blushing smile from him. I cleared my throat and started eating while suppressing my blushing smile.
"Do you know what we had for lunch when we first eat outside together?" He asked while playing with noodles with fork.
My eyes stick to the noodles and my mind started playing the memories of that day when we both had noodles from the local fast food which was across the road. Mummy sent me to the market after I came from school. I didn't have anything since morning and was very hungry.
That day Dhruv just not offered me the lunch but he saved me from the creepy man who was harassing me and tried to grab my butt. Now I noticed, It was always Dhruv who saved me from every problem and the one who give me food when I was hungry even till now.
"We had noodles." I said and looked back into his eyes. He chuckled softly and nodded his head.
"I always wanted to have noodles with you since the day I meet you again." He said and hold the spoonful noodles in front of me. I smiled. I leaned forward and eat it.
"You always ate Macaroni which I used to send for Divya, don't you?" I asked.
"I like the macaroni from your hand. You made the best macaroni in the world." He shrugged his shoulders and looked at me while licking his finger tips after eating the noodles to himself. I smiled and looked down.
"I don't know that." I said and tuck a loose lock behind my ear while looking down.
"Thank you for making this house house again." He roam his eyes around and said looking at me.
"You have a beautiful house." I said honestly.
"It's not mine. I rented this place." He said while sipping his tea.
"Did you landlord never complaint that you turned his house into garbage bin? " I asked he chuckled softly and shake his head as no.
"Never, He get his rent in his account before the time. So he never bothers me to pay a visit." We both chuckled softly and ate our food while talking and laughing. In these past eight years I never laughed. I never had a smile on my face but since Dhruv came back into my life I learnt to smile again. I started laughing, I started living again little. The best part of my day was when I meet Dhruv and worst part was when I apart from him and go back to house.
I am getting used to this little light in my dark life in spite knowing the fact that it will leave me again.
After we finished eating I took the dishes to the kitchen to wash them while Dhruv get the phone call which was related to work and he can not ignore it.
I put all the dishes into the sink, took a soap on SpongeBob and started washing the dishes and then when I finished washing I started drying them with dry cloth.
I freeze on my action when I feel his presence behind me and gasped when he put his forehead on my shoulder. I couldn't see his face. His hair were brushing my cheeks and I can smell his shampoo which became my favourite too.
He stays like this for a minute and then move away. He opened the fridge and took out a water bottle and a ice cube bucket. I didn't look towards his side and keep doing my work, I don't want him to know that I was looking to him.
He filled himself glass of water and put two ice cubes in it. Water was already cold then why did he put more ice in it?
"You will catch cold if you put ice in it. water was already chilled." I said in a low voice while drying the dishes.
"It helps me to cool down my tempered mind." I don't know why but I couldn't help myself to stop my laugh.
"That's true..." I said between my laugh. I crook up his left eyebrow and give me a look that he is offends by my comment.
"So you think, I am hot headed?" He asked still giving me that look.
"Yes.." I nodded my head while suppressing my laugh. He took back with my answer but soon cover his shock and glare at me.
"In that case you should try yourself." He grab the fistful ice and looked at me mischievously. Before I could run away from him he hold me and put all ice inside my suite.
"Dhhrruuvvv...why did you do that?" I jumped when the coldness of ice touched my skin. Not just one but many of them. I was jumping on my place tried to get the ice from my suite while Dhruv was looking laughing laughing looking at me.
I glare at him but he did not stop and keep laughing. When I finally get out the ice from my suit, I glare at him.
"Dhruv Malhotra, you are gone now." I pick the full ice bucket and before he could understand anything I pore whole onto his head.
"Now your mind will cool batter." I said while blowing the strand of hair.
He ran his fingers in his wet hair and looked at me with his wet lashes. There were something in his eyes. A hunger, desire of something before I could figure out something he took two long strides towards me and lifted me on his shoulders, hanging me like a sack of potatoes. I didn't say anything and let him do what he was doing. It feel like someone sew my vocal cord. I feel wordless.
He put me down when we reached the bathroom. He make me stood under the shower and step forward to join me. He ran the shower on both of us and soon water wet both of us. We both stood there looking at each other directly into the eyes. He was looking at me with same hunger and desire. I could not understand if he is angry or not. His grey t-shirt got wet in water and stick to his body like a second skin that I can clearly see his abs and nipples.
I gasped when he suddenly pulled me towards him by holding the nape of my neck and looked at me with his red hungry eyes.
"You were looking so damn fucking beautiful when you did that, that I want to kiss you." He said between his clenched teeth like he was controlling himself.
"You can't..." I said while looking into his eyes.
He fisted my hair from my scalp and lifted my head, making our eyes contact each other. Mine was filled with tears and his was, I don't know they were showing so many emotions and red like a monster at night.
"Why..?" He asked.
"We are friends." I replied.
"I don't want to be. I want more." He said in a calm yet dangerous voice.
I closed my eyes when he started leaning in. I gasped when his lips touched to my cheeks and trailed down to my neck, giving a deep and wet kisses on my neck. Cold water was pouring on both of us but what I feel right now is only love, the same feeling I felt that night when he was kissing me when I was sitting on his lap. Jolt of spark was passing through me, I feel many knots forming in my stomach and butterflies are dancing. I feel ticklish, sensitive with his touch but pleasurable at the same time.
I moaned and encircled my arms around his neck, tangled my fingers in his hair, pulling him more yo me when he bite on my neck and sucked the area.
He removed my dupatta from my neck and throw it on one corner of the bathroom. He shifted to my other shoulder and do the same, making love to it.
"Dhruv..." I moaned his name when he sucked the slight visible cleavage.
"Uuugghhhh...." He groaned and pull me closer to him holding my waist tightly.
"Fuck...You are so soft." He took a mouthful skin of my cleavage, suck it and then leave making me curl my back and moaned loudly.
I had a smile on my face ad tears in my eyes. I am enjoying this moment but there is a guilt inside me. Guilt of hiding things from him. I am putting him in darkness hiding my dark past from him. All my life I want this and when finally he wanted to kiss me, I don't want him to do it. He doesn't deserve it. I don't deserve him.
He looked into my eyes and wiped the tears from my cheeks. I again closed my eyes when he started leaning in.
As he coming closer to me the distance between our lips decreasing. I know this is wrong, allowing him something which I should not. I did not accept but I didn't refuse either. His hot breath fanning on my lips and any moment our lips could touch.
He leaned more but before our lips could touch, I put my hand on his mouth stopping him to kiss me.
"We can't...." Tears are continuously flowing down from my eyes when I said.
"Uuugghhhh...." He pushed me to the wall groaning loudly.
"Why.....?" He shouted and punched the wall beside my head, flinching me. But I choose, not to answer his question.
When he did not get any answer from he leave without saying anything but when he leave I saw tears in his eyes and he wiped them angrily.
I slide down to the wall, while crying, holding my chest. I don't know why he is doing this when he is going to leave me in the end. It's fucking hurt to push him away. All me life I want him to love me but my fate betrayed me. My past don't allow me to let him come close to me. It was ugly and brutal. He deserves much batter. I can not get the man I dream of since my childhood but he could get the girl he want but not me. At one side I want him but on the other side I know it's not possible.
I don't know how long I cried but when I get my senses back, rain already stop and it's evening already. I came to bedroom and changed my old clothes which he already put on the bad. I out my party dress into dryer and when it's completely dried I iron it and fold it neatly.
I took the dress and my earings and walked outside to the living room.
Dhruv was sitting on the couch, lost in his own thoughts. He was holding the blade in his right hand and eyes were glistening with unshaded tears. When I noticed the blade in his hand I checked his wrist for any cut but there were none and I sighed in relief.
I walked to him. He got alerted with my presence and stood up from the couch. I give him a smile but it soon wipe off when he didn't smile back.
"Thank you for this. No one has gifted me before you are the first one who gifted me anything." I chuckled and a lone fat tear escaped from my right eye. I looked down and bit my lower lip to control the sob.
I lifted my eyelids and looked at him he was looking at me with same intense eyes which I witnessed often and always unable to read them.
"Get used to then." He said and there is softness in his eyes but still there is anger. I smiled and put the dress on table. No matter how hard I was trying to smile to ease the tension between us but a thick silence is still between us. We both know what I am trying to do is totally waste because nothing is going to happen again like before.
"I am getting late. I should go home." I said.
"I'll drop you." He grab his car keys and went outside the house without waiting for my reply.
When I reached outside, he was already sitting inside the car waiting for me. I didn't say anything and set inside the car, beside him on the passenger sit. He start driving when I buckle my seat belt.
*****
We reach my house in complete silence and he stop the car in same isolated road where I meet him in this morning. We both set there, none of us said anything. His eyes were focused on the road and his hold on steering wheel was tight that his knuckles turned almost white.
"Do you love Raghav?" I was about to open the door but stop when he asked me.
"What..?" I asked him again to confirm but I know I heard right. My hold become tight on the file which I was holding. He turned his head and looked at me.
"Is that why you pushed me?" He asked while clenching his teeth.
How could he think like that. I didn't expect this from him. He knows that Raghav is like my brother. But I could not shout on everyone's face and tell them truth. Anger was boiling inside me. He ruined the beautiful day I have today.
"You can think what you want to think." I spitted back in anger and leave the car. He punched the steering wheel in anger but I did not pay attention and slam the door. I walked to the shelter of bricks which I called house, my living hell living him alone.
*****
When I reached home, no one was there it's empty. I remember this morning bua ji and Aahana were talking about going somewhere in a family holiday for long but how long I could not hear because I was in a hurry. But I am glad that upcoming days will spend easily without any slap or beating.
I put my things in a kitchen counter, drink the glass of water and spread the bedsheet on floor. I took out Dhruv's birthday gift and started working on it. No matter how much angry I am on him or what he thinks about me I could not stop myself loving him.
......................................................................
I hope you like the chapter.
What do you think about it.?
I want you to guys read this book again when it will be complete which gonna take lots of time. Sometimes I cried when I read my own books. I know it's weird but I feel connected to my characters maybe because I created them.😅
Sidharth and Preeti journey was full with love and adventure but Dhruv and Aditi's story, it's painful and depressive but it has its own beauty.
I want to ask you guys one thing, is the broken souls is batter than my first two book or they have their own beauty.
Please do share and don't forget to vote and please please do lots of comments. I right every day to create a satisfying chapter and it takes lots of thinking and hard work. In exchange I just want lots of comments which I love to read.
See you guys in next update and Happy Diwali to all of you.
Thank you....