A movie I've seen before - Ceilings
MINA SOLACE
"Sorry, Mina," Noah mumbles. "Can you wake him up?" He says from the front seat, looking over his shoulder.
I look at him and just stare. Giving him the 'Are you serious? This is your best friend and you're asking me?' Look.
"Yeah, sure, whatever."
I'm about to reach over and poke him. Until I see his neck broken into an awkward backward position, his legs man-spread, and his hands flat against his side.
What in the hell is wrong with this dude? It's like some demon possessed him in his sleep. He's even twitching.
His mouth is open too.
Shaking my head I poke his gut a few times and he doesn't stir.
So I pinch him.
"AH, Jesus," he mutters, using the back of his hand to wipe the drool coming from his mouth. "Why'd you pinch me." He says tiredly, yawning and moving himself further down the seat.
I throw my hands in front of me and point toward Noah and Selena, who are ordering at the drive-thru.
"Oh." Dae mumbles. "Noah, I want some chicken nuggets- and fries." His eyes close again. "Oh and some sweet and sour sauce." He says, eyes still closed.
My expression is blank as I stare at this creature of a man. His hair was messed up and sticking up in random places.
Selena turns around and looks at me. "Babe, what do you want?"
"I'll get some fries," my head leans against the headrest. "I'm not that hungry."
"Kay, got you!"
☾
After a long night of partying and sitting in the McDonald's drive-thru.
I'm burnt.
Gripping the bottom of my hoodie I pull it off and walk straight into the bathroom. Turning the shower on, making sure the knob is at the correct angle, making sure I have the right temperature.
I strip myself out of the rest of my clothes. Stepping into the steaming, burning, hot water.
I roll my neck, the tension unbearable, I angle my head to the side letting the boiling water replace the pain.
My migraine starts to kick in but goes away once my head realizes I'm in boiling hot water.
It started at the end of class, Selena tapping my shoulder, waking me up from my daze of staring at the floor from leaning my head against the edge of the table.
"There's a party after school," she says excitedly. Slightly spinning in her chair. She waits for me to answer. But I place my head back into my arms. "Mina." She groans.
"What," my voice bounces off the inside of my arms. "Party? Okay cool."
I don't want any new friends. I already have one. Selena.
I'm good for the year and the next year. I've already reached my limit for communicating with new people. Check.
Selena punches my shoulder pushing my body to the right.
"Come onnnn," she drags. Her palms slapped my back. "Please?"
"No, Selena," I mumble. "Go by yourself."
She tsks me. "No way."
Rolling my eyes the best I can I sigh.
"I know you're rolling your eyes." She says.
I lift my head and look at her. "How do you know."
She shrugs. "Intuition," she taps her temples. "My intuition is telling me you need to go to the party-"
"Yup, mhm, you lost me there," I say. "You have a shit intuition."
"Such a Debby downer."
"Rather be that than go to some shit of a frat party."
"Fair."
I lean my head against the shower tiles. Slowly turning around I reach toward the handle of the shower knob and turn it off. The water coming to a sudden stop.
The muggy yet cold air clings to my body as I step out of the shower, wrapping the towel around my body. I grab another and wrap my hair up in it.
Using a hand towel to wipe the mirror, I see myself, I- look- tired.
Fuck me.
The contrast of hot to cold hits me like a brick. My room is ice cold, I walk into my closet and grab my PJs. And quickly put them on to warm myself.
I throw my towel onto the floor of my bathroom. And walk over to my vanity and dry my hair.
Finally some peace and quiet— silence. Turning off my dryer, I turn off the vanity lights and brighten the lamp on my nightstand.
I get beneath the covers and grab my book. My back is flush against the pillow, and relief floods me, I don't know why I'm feeling so tense today.
"Oh shit..." I mutter to myself as I reach over and grab my airpods. Putting them on, I turn on some music. I can't sit in complete silence if I'm reading.
My fingers flip open the book, feeling the pages, I only get to my bookmark when my door slowly opens.
There stands my dad. He immediately begins to walk around my room, making his way toward the window, arms behind his back as he stares out into the night sky.
Pulling one airpod out I drop my hand to my side and watch him.
"Is there something you need?" I speak up, keeping my eyes in front of me. Slightly annoyed that he just walks in here to stare out the window.
"No," he says, eyes still looking outside. "Just looking."
This goes on for five minutes. All he does is stand there, use his fingers to open my curtain, and just stare outside.
Another five minutes pass and I've had enough.
"Is there really nothing you don't need?" I ask again. "You've been in here for ten minutes looking out my window at the view that you can get from your bedroom."
He snaps his head toward me. "Why do you have so much attitude in your tone?"
"I don't I simply just asked, you're the one who is giving me attitude now." Grabbing my bookmark again, I slide it in between the page, no longer wanting to read. "I'm going to bed now," I say placing my book on my nightstand and turning over to look at him before turning the light off.
He scoffs and leaves. And that's when I turn the light off. Throwing myself back against the bed, I fully covered myself underneath the blanket. Sighing as I immediately close my eyes.
Scared that my eyes will adjust as soon as I open them. Then when they adjust, I won't be able to sleep.
Pulling the blanket closer to my face, I grip the blanket hard, so I don't end up punching myself and giving myself a black eye.
After I get comfortable, the silence is deafening.
The sound of my heart beating starts to scare me. I don't like listening to my own heart before I sleep, listening to it speed up faster with each breath I take or listening to it slow as I hold my breath.
I can't sleep in complete silence. If I do I end up staring at the back of my eyelids all night. And that just means I rested my eyes, I never really fell asleep in the first place.
Having enough I reach over and turn on some rain sounds on my phone. I open my notes app and write down something I have to buy.
Sound machine.
I know people say "Oh people who can't sleep alone are just traumatized, blah blah." I just can't sleep in silence. Silence makes going to sleep daunting.
Whatever.
☾
"You need to spend more time with your sister," he says pouring his coffee into his tumbler. His back faced toward me. "You barely spend any time at home, so I expect you to give her at least an hour of your time."
I close the fridge and set my food on the table. Opening the cabinet to grab a plate.
It's seven in the morning. I'm up early, even after a party, I know.
I'm up cause I gotta meet my favorite lady.
Does he not see that Yelena doesn't give two shits about me or is he just blind?
And the fact that he's asking me to give her an hour makes me sick. Expecting me to time myself for someone who doesn't give two shits about me and gives her two shits about her work? Please.
"Okay," I say, heating my food. My mood is now lower than it was when I first woke up.
"I'm serious."
"Okay." I shake my head to myself. What more is there to say? It demands left and right. What more do I have to give? If I give anything then I'm done for.
Me saying okay is gonna dig my grave.
My dad scoffs. Now it's his turn to shake his head. He grabs his keys and leaves.
"I'm leaving for work."
The silence engulfs the entire house.
Only to be interrupted by the atrocious sound of the microwave.
Taking my food out I poke at it. Not having the appetite to eat it anymore. I'm tired again and the day has only just started.
I throw my food away and wash my plate so that I don't get yelled at.
I speed walk back upstairs and grab my backpack. It's a Saturday and I'm going out to study. I rather study on a Saturday than keep myself in this house any longer.
I don't want to be here any more than I need to be. Plus this gives me a reason to not "spend" time with Yelena.
She probably won't even be home. And If I were and she wasn't- guess who would still get the blame? I would.
I can never do anything right.
My emotions, opinions, and feelings are never valid.
In this house.
☾
The door rings as I pull it open. The warm and calming atmosphere of my favorite café welcomes me.
I take a seat in my normal spot, waiting for my favorite person to greet me.
"Holaaaaaa Mina!" Lafa sings, strolling out of the back with, guess, a white hot chocolate and a fresh chocolate muffin. "Para ti, tu favorita." She smiles as she places the plate and cup in front of me.
Lafa tries to use basic and I mean basic Spanish with me. I only know so much.
"Wowww," my eyes find the generous amount of whipped cream and sprinkles. "You put extra this time? Gracias." I grin.
"Tienes novio?" Lafa says chin supported by her palms. If she wasn't standing she'd be kicking her feet.
My eyes meet her and it's the 'are you serious' look.
"No, Lafa," taking a sip I look at her again. "You know I don't. I don't have time for that or the emotional availability for that."
She throws her head back and groans but quickly picks her head back up before she's behind the register and counting the cash. She flips through them before making eye contact with me.
"You need to live a little, Mina."
"I am living, a little," I mutter before taking a sip of my drink. The warm white hot chocolate burning my tongue, just how I like it. Burning my tongue so I can't talk shit. "This is how I'm living." I raise my cup and tilt it toward her, watching her roll her eyes.
Lafa makes her rounds around the café, making sure everything is ready for the day. And I'm left to my own thoughts again. The muffin falls apart in my mouth.
Best muffin in the world.
I'm chewing and getting lost in my thoughts at the same time.
As I got older I realized how toxic my dad was. And I hate my younger self for not realizing it. But I can't hate myself. Because I was only a little girl, what else was I supposed to do other than believe what my dad was telling me?
He'd always say happy things, be a dad, be there.
But there were times when he'd shame my mom. Talk bad about her — to me — a thing you shouldn't do no matter what age your kid is. Just don't talk shit about their other parent to their face, what type of parent does that make him?
Although my mom wasn't the best at all times, she tried her best, she did what she could as a single mother. She fought for me even when I was deep into the hole of never coming back — listening to my dad and his lies.
"Your mom is crazy like Alan," he says staring at the road in front of him as he drives. Alan my aunt's ex-husband, who is literally crazy, shot himself in the leg on accident.
My eyes begin to water, and tears pool in the corner of my eyes, I stare out the window as my fist clenches.
"She is not," I say through clenched teeth. "Do not- and I mean ever- compare her to someone who is literally crazy. You have no right!" I yelled, tears running down my face, no matter how hard I tried not to cry. "Did she shoot herself in the leg? Did she? Huh?" I was furious.
He dropped me off at my mom's and I ran inside and told her. How could I not?
I was only 14.
I didn't like that he was telling me my mom was "crazy."
I didn't like the things he'd tell me. His so-called opinions.
What did he gain from telling me all of this? My support?
☾
He walked up to me, staring intensely at my bare face, his hand crept up and touched my skin.
"You need to take care of your skin, Mina," he says as I push his hand away. "You're a girl."
"If you want to touch my face wash your hands," I said, now mad. "You want to speak on my acne, you wash your hands because you're a part of the issue." I was fuming. "Don't touch my face," I said walking away.
I was a teenager, I was only a sophomore in high school, what was I supposed to do about my face?
He never knew the effect his words had on me. The way they were said and how they made me feel was unacceptable.
I'm a girl. The face is everything. It's the first thing people notice. And to him- he thought I never took care of my face. I did.
☾
"You're so emotional," he said, rubbing his chin. "Such a girl, I don't know why girls are so emotional." He added. "You're especially emotional, can't communicate through words and only through text."
Everything in me had sunk. My heart felt like it had stopped and I couldn't breathe.
"Mina can never communicate, Hana," Kate my stepmom said to my mom on the phone, the phone she took out of my hand. "She had to tell us how she felt over text." Kate leaned over the sink as she spoke into my phone.
"Okay?" My mom said. "So let her."
☾
"Mina?" Lafa's voice comes to the front. "What are you up to today?" She says wiping down the counters.
"Nothing," I sigh, finishing the rest of my drink. "I was going to study but I don't think that's happening." My head leans against the palm of my hand. I watch as Lafa finishes cleaning the counter and my stuff.
She hums in reply. "You were deep in thought," her eyes meet mine for a second and not a second longer. "Everything okay?"
"I think so," my eyes dart to the radio that sits behind her playing some music on low volume. "I'm just tired." I smile.
"From?" Her eyebrows raise.
"Everything." One word, simple. I look at my phone. And start getting up. "I know rush hour for you is coming, I'll get going."
"I got you, okay?" Lafa says, throwing the towel into a bin. Her hands wrap around the edge of the counter. "You need anything. You'll come to me?"
I nod. "You know I will." I blow her a kiss before stepping outside.
What should I do today?
I don't have many friends to go out and do things with. And if I did, I wouldn't invite them, it's too much work.
Speaking of the devil, my phone pings, Selena just texted me.
Selena Roman: What are you up to today?
Read.
I put my phone in my back pocket and unlocked my car. Rolling my neck as the car starts, I let it warm up first before leaving, and I make my way onto the road.
I have no plans today. And I'm not sure what I want to do- ah- the bookstore.
My fingers tap away on the GPS and I make my way to the nearest bookstore.
Selena Roman: Don't read my message and just not answer!
My car reads her message aloud as I pull into the parking space.
Mina: At the bookstore.
Selena Roman: Arghhh!! Boring.
I tap her contact and change her name.
Annoying Selena.
The warm lights welcome me as I step inside. Bookshelves lined up everywhere.
Any worries I had have now disappeared.
I dart for the romance section. My fingers skim the spines as I search for an interesting book.
I find one and pull it out, flipping the book to its back to read what it's about.
Books are my escape. They are the world I wish I was in. They contain the lives I would rather live. They contain happy ever afters.
I place the book under my arm and continue looking. I could spend hours in here.
After grabbing a few romance books I head over to the self-care or poetry section.
I'm in my world I don't notice anyone who passes me, if there is anyone, or if it's just my imagination.
As I skim through a poetry book, someone's hand comes into my sight, grabbing a poem book.
I turn my head curious of who it could be that's so close to me.
He looks familiar.
"Mina?" A random boy speaks up. He holds two poem books. "What are you doing here?" He questions me.
My expression must say something because he speaks up again.
"Do you not recognize me?" He says, sounding hurt.
"No?" I say. "How do you know my name?"
He sighs. "It's Dae."
Oh. Okay to be fair I have short-term memory, just like Dory.
Dae wears a black cap that covers his eyes and brown hair. He wears a grey essentials hoodie with some black baggy jeans.
"Oh, hey Dae," I say slowly. "I'm so sorry, I couldn't recognize you with the hat on."
Dae awkwardly smiles. His hand scratched the back of his neck. "Your ribbons," he says, his eyes moving toward my hair. "I could recognize you from them."
"Ribbons?" I say aloud more to myself than him. My hands touch the ribbons tied at the end of my two small braids that frame my face. "Oh, right. My bows. Wait you read?"
He laughs. "Yeah..." He moves the books closer to his chest, trying to hide them with his arms. "Just some books. Y'know to make me happy."
I slowly nod, skeptical of his presence. I remember that we're in the poetry section. And the book closest to me behind his arms is the exact book I was reading before he interrupted me.
I hold out the book. "You read poetry?" I say more as a question and not shaming him.
Dae's cheeks turn a shade of pink. "Is it a bad thing?"
"No." I immediately say. "It's cool, you do you."
I don't mention him blushing. I don't want to embarrass him any further.
I put the book back with the others that I hold. "It was nice seeing you?" He watches me. "But I think I'm going to head out. Have fun." I turn around before his hand lands on my shoulder, stopping me from moving.
Turning my head to look over my shoulder, I look at his hand that stays on my shoulder, and then I meet his eyes.
"Oh- sorry," he retracts his hand like he touched something untouchable. "Um, I wanted to ask you something."
I dip my chin.
"Is this book good?" Dae holds up the poetry book we both have in our hands. "I saw that you had grabbed the same one."
"Yeah, I read a few pages," I answer. "Go for it." And I turn around and make my way toward the register. Leaving him behind.
I think I'm good at talking for the day. He took up my energy.
What a surprise.
"Are you a member?" The cashier asks as she scans my books.
"Yeah, here's my phone number." I recite my number to her, looking around the store.
"It'll be forty-nine dollars and nineteen cents."
Pulling out my card I insert it into the card reader, pulling it out when it dings.
I take the bag from her. "Thank you."
The bag of books is in the backseat alongside my backpack of no use today. I shut the door and my hand reaches for the door to the driver's side-
"Mina!"
I slowly turned my neck toward the area where my name was called. My eyes find Dae who stands on the sidewalk in front of my car, a bag in his hand.
"What are you up to today?"
"That's the third time someone's asked me that."
"What?" He says, confused. His mouth frowns.
"Nothing," I shake my head, opening the door. I have one foot in. "What is it."
He mutters something under his breath.
"Are you free?"
"No." I take a seat.
He hops off the sidewalk, his right hand resting above the door.
"Take your right hand off my car or you're going to have no right hand within the next five seconds."
Dae doesn't remove his hand. Instead, he stays rooted to his spot on the ground.
I guess he rather loses that precious right hand.
My hand wraps around the inside handle to pull the door shut but he stops it with his hand.
I throw my head back and groan, my eyes close.
"Mina."
"Dae." I peeked an eye open.
"Are you busy?"
"Yes."
He groans aloud, he stomps his foot.
Now that has my attention. I open my eyes and stare at him. "Did you just stomp your foot at me?"
"Yes," he says firmly. "You're gonna hold that over my head forever now, aren't you."
"You bet," I grin. "Now, Dae. Please let me go."
"Can you please just hang out with me today," he says, looking around. "I don't have anything to do. And Noah is busy helping his mom with something."
I look him up and down. My expression is probably very problematic but do I care? No.
"Why must I hang out with you?"
"God, you're so mean."
I blink once and once more.
Dae finally gives up with a sigh. He takes his hand off my car and drops it beside him. His eyes bounce back between me and my car.
"What is it," I say, annoyed. "I don't have all day." I do have all day. "Why do you want to hang out with me."
His shoulders droop. "Because," he doesn't look at me. "Why not?"
"You-" I point at him. Then point at me. "Want to be friends with this?"
He arches a brow. "Yes, I want to be friends with this." He copies me.
"You're weird."
"No, you're weird."
"We're not hanging."
His expression is indescribable. Literally, can't tell by his cap.
"Whatever, worth a try," Dae says, finally moving an inch away from the car. And I try to take the chance to close the door only for him to keep it open again. "Can I text you?"
"You have my number?" I ask, surprised.
"Selena."
"Of course," I mutter. "Text me, gotta go." There's no point in saying no, the devil sold my number already.
"Wait-" I swoop my head to the side and glare at him. "Can we go eat?"
My mouth parts open in shock. "You just don't give up do you?"
"No?"
"Did you drive here?"
"Definitely not," he says patting his pocket.
I shake my head and roll my eyes. I tilt my head toward the passenger side of the car and shut my door. I place both hands on the steering wheel as this nutjob gets in my car.
"Where would you like to eat?" I ask, staring in front of me.
"Do you like Sushi?"
"No."
He jolts in his seat, cocking his head to the side. "How could you not-"
I turn my head. "Just because I'm half Japanese?" I tease. "You think all Japanese like Sushi?"
He waves his hands in the air like a manic. "First of all, don't put words in my mouth." He murmurs. "Second, no not just because you're Japanese. It was just the first thing that came to mind."
"Let's go to a café," I say, backing out of the parking space. "You good with that?"
Dae throws his hands up once again before they slap his legs from the impact.
"You could've just said that." He rolls his eyes
And for the next twenty minutes, we sit in silence. Or just music silence to be honest.
My right hand stays on the steering wheel and my left supports my chin as I lean against the window.
BTBT by B.I play quietly in the background as I drive us to our destination.
In my peripheral vision, Dae sits quietly as he reads through the book he just got.
Right as I say that in my head he looks over and I quickly change the direction of my eyes away.
"You have a nice car," he speaks up, closing the book on his lap. "Love the all-black and the LED interior."
"Thanks."
"I know its model but can't name it right now."
"It's an Audi RS7," I sigh.
"Do you not like it? I mean it's a stunning car."
"I love it but there's some reasons behind it that-" I pause when he fully gives me his attention. "Uh, the reason it was given to me makes me not like this car." I clear my throat. "We're here."
I wait for Dae to step out of the car and shut it so I can lock the car. Once he steps out the car locks and we make our way inside my favorite café that I just came to this morning.
I pull open the door and there is that classic ring alerting Lafa that someone is here.
And like always, she lifts her head, her eyes meet mine only to move behind me. Toward the boy who follows behind me.
Her brows quirked up and a smile danced across her lips. Nevertheless, she returns to serving someone else as we take our seats.
"This is a cute shop," Dae says, looking around. People watch as they chat and eat. "Have you been here before?" He asks.
"Duh?" I cock my head to the side and lean back against my chair. I shake my head. "This is my favorite café," I say, looking to the left of me. Watching as Lafa walks over.
"How can I help you two today?" She smiles happily, pen in hand and ready.
Dae looks at me but I nod for him to go first.
"I'll take a Chai Latte and a croissant, please." He smiles.
"Perfect," she smiles. "The usual for you?" Lafa turns her attention toward me.
"Sí, Lafa." I give her a small smile.
Lafa winks at me before she makes her way back. I wouldn't say her café is the classic café because it isn't. It's more like a restaurant-style service with a café based theme.
"You know Spanish?" Dae questions, fiddling with his thumbs.
"Only a little to get me around." I shrug. "Nothing special."
He nods and pouts out his lips.
We sit in silence for a few more minutes. Dae doesn't talk. Like at all. He's just sitting there looking out the window.
And to say he was the one who wanted to hang out. He was sooooo eager.
"You gonna tell me why you were so eager to hang out?" I intertwine my fingers and rest my chin on top. "We've been here for at least a few minutes."
Before Dae can open his mouth, Lafa has impeccable timing, she places our drinks and food on the table.
"Gracias Lafa," I nod at her.
"De nada."
After I position the drink and muffin directly in front of me I make direct eye contact with Dae. Which causes him to look away.
Shaking my head I take a bite.
Can't deal with this.
"Just because," he says, taking a sip of his drink. "I want to be friends with you? Can't that be a reason?"
"It can," I pause and look at him. "But you aren't saying anything, which I don't mind, I rather not talk." I put my hands up.
His expression is indescribable. I couldn't care less.
He drops his hands to his side and leans back.
"That's because you-" He points at me. "Make it difficult to try and talk to you. Your body language and attitude just give 'I don't want to talk.'"
I nod in agreement, my brows raise slightly, surprised at his observation.
"You're observant," who is he exactly? And why is he so interested and eager to be my friend? To be friends with me who doesn't want to be friends? "And you have no filter."
He scoffs. The first time then starts laughing the second.
"You have no filter either then."
He's suspicious. I take note of that.
"Touché."
"You know," his gaze drops to his croissant. "I will be your friend."
"Why?" I sigh. We're running in circles. "Why is that your goal?"
"Because," and that's all he says. The same one-word answer to any question I have about this topic. "It keeps you talking to me, asking questions, just saying random things."
Lafa walks up to the table. "Are you two done with your drinks and food?" She asks.
I nod. And get up.
"Where are you going?"
"To pay."
Dae gets up and meets my eyes. "No, I'll pay."
"No, I'll get it." I pull my dad's card out. "Daddy's money, it's fine." And with that, I leave him at the table and make my way to Lafa.
"Don't even open your mouth." I point the card at her as she snatches it from my hand.
"Ey, Mina," Lafa says entering some stuff on the computer screen. "You can never shut me up. Who's the boy?" She hands me back the card and flips the screen. I tip her the highest the machine will let me.
"A friend of a friend who is persistent in wanting to be friends." I shrug, signing the receipt. "I'll see you on Monday."
She rolls her eyes and returns my smile.
"You ready?" I stand by the table, Dae looks up from his phone and nods.
"Can we do something else-"
I cut him off. "Nope and absolutely not!" I speak up, getting into the car. "I am bringing you back to the bookstore and leaving. I've had my dose of talking for the day." I look at him as he enters the car. "And if you don't want to go back to the bookstore for your car you can stay here."
Dae reaches inside his pocket and pulls out a fake air key, bringing it to his lips and locking it, throwing the key behind his shoulder.
"Got you," he says, buckling himself. "No more activities."
"Jesus, you're like an energized bunny."
☾
We're back at the bookstore. The parking lot is partially empty, there's still a few cars left.
I don't bother turning off the car. But I look at Dae and wait for him to leave. But he doesn't leave- surprise.
"Okay, you got to go," I say done with his bullshit. "Please? Does that work? Does that even really work?"
"You really are clueless," he says, grabbing the handle and opening the door. He doesn't say bye, he just walks away.
I don't waste a second and zoom away. My energy levels are drained to the max and they're about to be gone once I get home.
☾
The immediate emotion of dread washed over me the moment my car entered the neighborhood.
Big houses lined up behind the sidewalk on their respective lots. Minding their own business, hosting their families, happily.
Their homes radiate happy energy, fun memories, and beautiful auras. But mine? The moment you reach the house, it's dark, gloomy, and just— sad.
I've bided my time for as long as I could. I pull into the driveway and pull into my spot, I turn off the car. But I don't leave.
I do this every time I come home — from anywhere — I don't leave until I've felt like I've one hundred percent prepared myself.
Do I need to clean the car? Is there any trash on the floor in the back?
I place my hand on the passenger seat and check behind me— nope. No trash.
Shit.
I released one last deep breath while opening the car door and stepped outside. I walked to the back door of my car and grabbed my books and bag.
As I walked to the front door, my footsteps got heavier with each step they took,
As bad as the cold breeze felt, I felt even worse, I didn't want to go inside.
I switch my bag of books to my left hand as I enter the code to the house. I press the button down and open the door.
What is supposed to be warm air — welcomes me but it is anything but warm.
The house is brightly lit for once. Pan's and dishes clink in the kitchen, the TV is off and it's awfully quiet besides the noise coming from the kitchen.
I walk through our living room past the kitchen and toward the stairs. I don't think the walk to the stairs was ever this long.
My feet have a mind of their own and they skip steps. And suddenly I'm upstairs.
The moment I reach my room I release a huge breath of air. Like the wind was knocked out of me. Like I was a spy on a mission.
I place my things by my vanity and go into the bathroom to wash my hands. I run them under hot water, burning my dread away.
I grab the hand towel hanging by my sink and dry my hands. I stare into the mirror, mindlessly drying my hands that are already dry.
I'll have to face them at some point tonight.
I walk out of the bathroom. "It's okay you got this," I say to myself, taking off my ribbons. "You do this every other night. The quicker and earlier the better, Mina."
My hand wraps around the doorknob and I twist it.
All they're going to do is just push you and ask you a million questions and demands. Nothing serious.
Nothing serious, Mina.
I'm downstairs walking around when I see Yelena in the kitchen talking to her mom, my stepmom, she's laughing and kicking her feet.
As if Yelena could feel my presence she turns around and the smile drops from her face.
Yelena has dark brown medium-length hair courtesy of her mom, pale skin, prominent features from our dad and her mom, and she is slim.
Perfect for her job — a model.
I on the other hand take after my mother who is fully Japanese. And I embrace it.
Yelena doesn't like being called her Japanese name, Yuka.
She says it doesn't match her vibe. She rather be called her first name.
"Mom, she's home," Yelena says, turning around. The annoyed tone was evident.
Kate turns around and gives me a quiet greeting. A simple 'Hi.'
That's how it is with her. Never any long conversations, just a few words and she's done, nothing more nothing less.
Kate's from Georgia and moved to California for work. And that's how she found my dad.
"As I was saying," Yelena continues. "Do you think it's okay for me to miss classes for the next shoot?" She asks.
"Of course honey," Kate says, smiling as she plates the dinner. "I'll talk with your father and discuss the leave."
It's funny to hear them talk about Yelena leaving school for her shoots. When any time I leave class, one class, I am lectured for hours. Yet here she is kicking her feet and texting her friends.
And to be real, Yelena didn't buy this house or my room with her job.
Our dad and her mom work good jobs as an engineer and a business CEO.
She just likes to say she does. Whatever floats her boat.
Although I'm quiet and don't say much. I prefer it that way. It's the only way where I don't cause too many problems other than being quiet.
I walk over to the fridge and grab a naked smoothie. Strawberry banana is the best flavor, and mango comes in second.
"Oh, looks like your dad's home," Kate says as I turn around to face her, my fingers twist the cap open as I stare at her. Because why did she look at me first? "Go set the table, Yelena."
My eyes go to Yelena who is very expressive at this moment. She throws her hand up and slams her phone on the table.
"Argh! She puffs out, her eyes dart in my direction. I'm mid-sip when she brushes past me into the dining room, bumping shoulders with me. "Move."
The smoothie coats my top lip and nose from the impact. I'm pushed against the fridge now, my back flushed against it.
I slowly retract my hand and close my eyes. The strawberry banana no longer tastes as good as it was two seconds ago. Opening my eyes I look at Kate.
And she right back at me. She turned her back on me and put the pan in the sink before bringing the plate to the dining room.
"What a fucking mess," I shake my hand and walk over to the island to grab a napkin. "You got to be shitting me," I say to myself.
A lunch bag slams onto the island table causing me to look up as I wipe the mess on my face.
"What happened to you?" My dad says, taking off his jacket. "Yelena get to you again?" He laughs.
I look at him in disbelief. Is he trying to joke like this is funny? Because I'm not fucking laughing.
The fact he's laughing pisses me off even more than it should.
I finish cleaning my face before walking over to the sink to wash my hands. I don't acknowledge him.
"Huh? Mina?" He asks again. "You didn't answer me."
"Yes," I abruptly turn around. "Is that the answer you wanted?"
He always does stupid shit like this.
He dusts his hands off before running them through his hair.
Kole Solace. Japanese-American, engineer for guess what company? Audi- but I couldn't care less.
Fell in love with my mom when he visited Japan. His love for her had him moving across the ocean to stay with her. But after living there for a few years they decided to move to America.
And had me, Mina Solace. Age 21, born on July 21st, 2002.
I'm from Greyson, California. And I go to Grey University.
Oh and Kate she has her own business I forgot to say what that was- obviously, it's a beauty brand.
I haven't introduced any of my family members or myself until now. Because was it really necessary? Probably. But I didn't want to say anything, sorry.
"Why are you talking to me like that?"
"You're asking a very stupid question when it is clearly obvious." I deadpan, throwing the towel back against the wall near the sink. "Couldn't have asked me 'How are you' or 'Are you okay' but you ask me this?" I shake my head in disbelief. "Hello to you too," I mutter.
He sighs and just walks away.
What the fuck?
I brace myself before walking into the dining room and taking my place at the table. This is the one thing I am required every day to do, sit at the table and eat as a family.
The silence is deafening. But I prefer to listen than be the center of everything and everyone's eyes.
Only the sound of forks and chewing can be heard, drinks being drunk, and if you could hear the sound of what an eye makes when it moves, that could be heard too.
"How's the food?" Kate asks, breaking the silence. She takes a sip of her wine. "Is it good? I tried something new tonight."
My dad hums in delight not a care in the world. "It is delicious," he says. "Nothing is better than a home-cooked meal after work. Thanks, honey."
"You're welcome."
My dad looks at me and Yelena ushering for us to say a thank you.
"Thanks, Mom," Yelena says, looking at me.
"Thank you," I say, eating. Making sure to eat quicker so I can leave. I poke the last piece of meat and eat it. "I'm done." Picking up the plate and walking away.
"The Xaivers are getting on my nerves," Kate says, from the dining room, she sighs before speaking again. "Jane Xavier has been an issue recently."
I turn on the sink and begin washing my dishes.
"How so, honey?" Weird. He normally doesn't ask questions. "I know you're top of the line and number 1."
"She is my competitor," my dad doesn't pay attention to Kate's work and the same goes for her, she doesn't pay attention either. No wonder they're a match. "Recently, the media have been putting our company names together in the headlines. And to say it's annoying is an understatement."
Aire Solace. Pronounced Air, is Kate's makeup brand. She is currently the number one most popular makeup brand, right now.
"Jane is climbing up the ladder and is coming for my brand!" She exclaims. I dry my hands and lean against the counter. "Xavier Cosmetics is becoming an issue."
My dad sighs. "Have your PR manager look into this, I don't know a damn thing about your world." He says, standing up. And that's my queue to leave. "You know I hate talking about work." He stops mid-way, giving me some time to get out. "If you want to talk about your work then you better let me talk about mine. And we both know you aren't interested in Audi's business."
I'm one foot inside my room as I hear the footsteps I've associated with my dad's feet walk down my hall. The only hall that no one lives in besides me, everyone lives on the other side of the house.
I turn around and face him. He's never followed me after I've left the dinner table. I lean against the door frame and watch him, waiting for him to speak.
"We need to talk," he says, eyes bouncing back and forth between my room and me. I open the door wider and let him walk inside. He stands. "I came in here with Yelena this weekend and-"
I cut him off the second the words in here were spoken. "Wait, you came in here?" I point to the floor of my room. "With Yelena?"
He raises both eyebrows, shrugging. "Yes, and tell me why there are hundreds and hundreds of water bottles in here?" He opens the nightstand next to my bed and points. "Are you starting a collection?"
My mind goes blank and my body begins to heat up. He went through my room.
Yeah, I shouldn't have a drawer of water bottles but why did he and my sister go through my room?
There are only three water bottles in there.
I take a deep breath and tilt my head up at the ceiling. "Is there a reason why you went through my room?" I say, meeting his eyes. "My room is clean and you know that, yes I shouldn't have a drawer of water bottles but why are you going through my things?"
"Well, I wanted to come clean your floor and pick the hair off it and Yelena happened to stumble in here too," he says, shaking his head.
"But that doesn't give you the right to snoop in my drawers?" I say, throwing my hands up out of anger. "Do you hear yourself? 'Clean your floor and pick the hair off it,' that doesn't explain why you went through my drawers..."
My boundaries were walked over and that's what pisses me off. I pay rent, I pay for this one room.
"But you shouldn't be hoarding trash in here, Mina!"
"But that doesn't mean you can go through my stuff without discussing it with me first!" I yell, I'm going insane. I run a hand over my face. "Did I give you a reason to go through my things? Did I? Answer me." I ask. "Also, do I walk into your room and go pick hair off the floor? No, I don't."
My dad sighs and we just sit in silence for a minute or two. He doesn't have any words to explain himself because he knows his reasoning already dug him into some bullshit.
"Exactly," I break the silence, turning around to open the door. "You went looking for a problem, a problem that I didn't give you. Don't come in here without my permission." I wave for him to get out and he does but he doesn't make eye contact with me. "Stop doing things I wouldn't do."
I shut the door, immediately putting my hands in my hair and tugging at it. Why was Yelena in here with him? Why were they both in here?
"Fuck!" I pace the room, confused about why he did this. "I don't do drugs, I'm not a crazy person, so why in the hell was he in here?"
What do I have to do to be respected in this house?
I voice my opinions and my boundaries and they get walked over just like that.
Ripping my hands out of my hair I grab my hoodie off of the chair and my keys and lock my door. I skip some steps as I run down the stairs and out the door. Trying to race outside and not face anyone in this house.
I shouldn't be embarrassed because I wasn't the one who did this but I am embarrassed. Because I can't be respected. I am a member of this family yet they don't treat me like one.
My eyes begin to water as I sit inside my car, my head pressed up against the steering wheel. My chest feels tight. I inhale for four seconds, hold my breath for seven, and exhale for eight. I repeat this five times before I back out of the driveway.
☾
It's gotten darker as I pull into the parking lot of the beach. I take a deep breath before stepping out and walking to my trunk to grab a towel. After placing it under my arm I lock my car and make my way toward the beach.
It may seem like I'm overreacting but If I were to stay in that house any longer I think I'd cry myself to death.
I lay the towel flat against the sand and take a seat. Pulling my hood over my head I place my hands over my knees and prop my chin on my hands.
Watching as the sky turns from a dark shade of blue into darkness, the moon shining bright against the moving water.
The sound of water gently hitting the rocks fills my senses. The sizzle of the bubbles the water leaves as it returns into the ocean and how no one else is here is calming.
There is something about being alone at the beach is my favorite thing in the whole world.
Tears slowly build in the corner of my eyes. "What did I do?" I say to myself.
"What did you do?" Someone speaks up, scaring the shit out of me.
I snap my head around and find Dae standing there with a bag and a bottle of Dr. Pepper.
"Jesus, fucking Christ," I mutter inside my knees as I hide in them. "You need to stop doing that!" I throw some sand at his shoes as he takes a seat beside me. He pulls out his towel and places it near mine.
"Sorry," he murmurs. He looks at me and studies my face. "We're you crying?" He asks.
I quickly turn to the side and wipe my face with the sleeves of my hoodie.
"No?" I face him. "Why are you sitting next to me? You have the entire beach."
Dae starts digging through his bag and pulls out a bag of chips and some bags of candy. "Because it's not safe for you to be alone," he says, opening the bag of Ranch Doritos and tilting the bag towards me. "And just so you're aware, I didn't follow you. I just happened to be at the same beach as you and the same bookstore." He tilts the bag back toward himself and places a chip in his mouth.
I blink a few times to get rid of the pooling tears and sniffle a few times before speaking up again.
"Okay," I sigh, looking at the ocean in front of me.
"So what are you doing here?" He asks.
"Uh, what are you doing here?" I deflect, grabbing another chip and munching on it. I rub my hands against my legs to warm them. Sounds of the bag crinkle and I turn to watch Dae who takes off his jacket and places it over my lap. And resumes eating his chips afterward.
"I'm going to pretend like I didn't just hear you deflect and ask me the same question," he says, opening his drink and taking a sip. "I needed a breath of fresh air. So I went out to the gas station and bought myself some snacks." He nods toward the pile of candy and food. "What type of candy do you like?" He holds up a bag of gushers, jolly ranchers, and starbursts.
I suck in my bottom lip and eye him.
"They aren't poisoned," he deadpans, looking me in the eyes. "I'm going to eat them too."
I take the bag of gushers. "I didn't say anything," I mumble.
"You didn't have to." Dae laughs but quiets down. "Are you okay?"
Those three words activate the tears again. And I'm blinking like a person who hasn't blinked in a very long time. I begin to stuff my face with gushers as tears begin to roll down my cheek.
"Oh god," I cover my face. "I'm crying in front of you, oh my god, I can't cry in front of you." I start fanning my face. "Why did you have to say those three words."
My red eyes find Dae's who looks concerned.
"I just made you cry, oh my god," he says covering his mouth, his eyes not knowing where to focus. "I'm sorry, can I give you a hug?"
"No."
"Okay," He retracts and nervously takes a sip of his drink again.
After taking a few deep breaths and sitting in Silence with Dae. It's still awkward but it's better now.
"I'm okay," my head turns to look at Dae who still sits there. I play with the buttons on his jacket. "Um, thanks, though for asking, I guess."
"Of course," he says quietly. "It's getting late and I think I'm going to get going; you can keep the gushers." He quickly says, placing his stuff in the bag, bunching up the towel, and making a dash toward the parking lot.
"But you just said it wasn't safe for me to be alone," I mumble looking down at my lap where his jacket keeps me warm. I groan. "You got to be kidding me, I have to talk to him again?"
•─────·☾ ☽⋅─────•
A/N: WHEWW we hit it heavy this chapter. This is my biggest WC yet, around 8k and that may not seem like a lot but for me it is. I've never written this much. But I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. You've got an insight into why Mina and her dad have the type of relationship they do today. And there will still be more to come.
I hope you've picked up a few clues in this chapter.
I DID NOT PROOFREAD.
Until next time... I'll see you on the other side!
FOLLOW MY INSTAGRAM: @/Beachhavens4
sunah <3