(Fifty-second chapter)
“Achoo!”
Sowon sneezed aloud, crinkling her nose as her face contorted in an ugly grimace. A pain shot up her nasal passage and she fought the urge to groan, instead, grabbing a tissue and pinching her nose to wipe it clean.
I knew it was a weird feeling yesterday, she reminisced the incidents and frowned because none of it was pleasant. She had spent the whole day perfecting her dance yet she could not achieve the results. Next, she had an odd shivering feeling ever since the afternoon but paid no heed to it.
Only when she came back home, her body caught a high-temperature fever along with a cold and she spent her night in a suffering way. The exhaustion due to practice plus the little sleep she had was of no help, every inch of her body crying in pain.
Knock knock.
She disposed of the tissue and glanced at her door, wondering who could it be.
“Yes?”
Sowon hated how hoarse her voice was. She was sure the cold came from her visit to Haneul last week. If only her competition was not in this same month of August, perhaps she would not be this pissed.
The door swing open and someone poked their head inside.
“Hi. Can I come in?”
“Did you ever need permission to enter my room?”
Haneul offered a sheepish smile, still standing by the door, “no but since you are sick, I was being careful.”
No sooner than those words were said, a huge white pillow came and hit Haneul over her face, making her stumble back with a surprised yelp.
“Oh- hey! That was rude.”
“This is all because of you!”
Sowon cried and began whining on her bed while her friend gave her an unimpressed look.
“I remember before when you said you will try to change your old habits yet you still blame others for any negative event.”
“Say another word and I’ll personally kick you out.”
Haneul laughed, “we both know you are too weak to do that.”
She pushed the door wider and entered the room, taking in the same old interior she was quite familiar with. Sowon grumbled on her bed, settling down.
“I don't need anyone to babysit me.”
“You think too highly of yourself,” Haneul snorted, “I am not even here to meet you.”
Haneul threw the pillow on the bed, and Sowon frowned.
“Not me? Then who?”
“Guess.”
“I am not in any mood to play around Haneul, go away if you are not here to see me.”
Sowon lay on her bed, making herself comfortable as she heard her best friend chuckle aloud.
“Aww, baby Sowon wants attention.”
She growled, “dare to call me that again. And who are you even going to meet?”
“You’ll know it later. Take care, I’ll be leaving now.”
Haneul pretended to do some silly wave dance as she scampered around before throwing a wave in Sowon's direction and left her room in a blur.
Huh.
And here, Sowon thought her friend was somewhat guilty for healing and making her sick in the process but as always, Haneul was shameless. She shook her head, feeling another wave of sneeze tickling her nose.
“Achoo!”
She sneezed, head throbbing with a sudden wave of pain as she wiped her nose with new tissue and recoiled back into her warm bed. Thankfully the fever was over or else she would have to suffer twice.
Knock knock.
Was it her friend again? Sowon considered shouting something like 'go away' to piss off her best friend who made fun of her some moments ago. But as she collected her hoarse voice, another rang out from outside.
“Sowon?”
The said girl froze on her bed. That voice belonged to the one and only person she was avoiding this whole time. Namjoon. Was he outside her door?
“Are you there? I am coming in.”
Sowon panicked.
She was not yet ready to face him, especially not in this weak condition. But how was she supposed to run or hide? When she heard the knob click open, she did the best thing she could think of; pretend to sleep.
Immediately she shut her eyes and pulled the covers to cover half of her face but she heard the door swing open and footsteps follow in, forcing her to leave her upper face in the open. Silence lingered in the air for a while and she itched to take a peek.
“You’re asleep. I thought you were awake but. . .”
Namjoon let out a sigh and Sowon tried to slow her pace of breathing, pretending hard to sleep when she was actually wide awake and aware of everything.
She heard some shuffling which made her more curious as to what the male was doing in her room. But she feared meeting his eyes that will accuse her of lying and fraud sleep. So she brushed the temptation aside.
“You are really brave and determined, working hard to the extend of getting sick. Why do you make yourself suffer so much?”
Maybe because I want to achieve my dreams, she replied in her head. The more important question was, why was he talking only when she was asleep or does he know that she was acting? Was she caught?
“You make everyone worry, even me. W-We are not supposed to exist, to be like this yet I can’t pull myself away from you. And in between the torn feelings, I end up pushing you away.”
Sowon felt her throat go dry upon hearing the confession. Was Namjoon being serious, about his words and that they meant what she really was thinking about? Their crooked relationship? Or was he pulling her leg, to make fun of her?
It was hard to believe anythingㅡboth when Sowon’s eyes were closed or open. And that was because Namjoon only showed what he wanted her to see while she viewed what she wanted to see. She heard footsteps approach her bed and her heartbeat quickened.
I think he's going to pull the covers- but before Sowon could finish her worries, something brushed her cheeks. Something warm and quick. Her brain stopped functioning for a moment and Sowon had no idea what was going on.
Her eyes remained close but she could now hear the rapid breathing done by the male, close by her ear. Why was Namjoon so near her? Something soft and warm pressed against her forehead and it took her a moment to regain her thinking. And the first thing that she could register was something shocking.
Namjoon just kissed her forehead.
She heard his footsteps fade away and the door creak close, not until she heard a soft and sad whisper.
“Get well soon, Sowon.”
※
Did that just happen?
Sowon lay awake on her bed, not caring to blink as she stared at the dark ceiling of her room. It had been some hours, she did not exactly count how much but enough to make the sun disappear behind the curtains of her window and let the moon take over the dark sky.
Ever since she had been lying wide awake on her bed, not caring about anything else except for rewinding her thoughts over and over. Her back was sore and numb, her neck growing stiff with every passing minute yet Sowon was not willing to get up yet.
Namjoon came in and confessed he cares for me.
Should she be happy and was she, excited that he displayed a little affection though it was when she was pretending to be unconscious and was not supposed to hear it?
Namjoon said I make him worry.
But why? When he first mentioned that a bond, relation of Namjoon and Sowon called 'we' was impossible to establish between them, it seemed to have plucked out a piece of her heart and smashed into tiny fragments. Like it was a fact that there was no chance for them together.
Why were they not supposed to exist?
Perhaps it was the unacceptable situation they met through, or their self inflated egos that still believe they both hate each other and need to stay apart, or their dreams and other responsibilities coming in. Sowon would admit, not to anyone but herself that now, things were different from her view.
She did not hate Namjoon anymore, no. Her heart was on a constant emotional rollercoaster and her mind always stuck to logical analysis but this was a fact, that Sowon had started seeing him as more than a rival or duty.
“Sowon? Are you awake now?”
Her heart suddenly wrenched in an unexpected pain when she heard that concerned voice. Everything about Namjoon she had been thinking for hours temporarily left her mind and it was exchanged with the truth her father told her about.
“Y-Yes.”
The door slowly opened and Sowon could not help but feel the guilt crawl over her mind as she saw her mother carry in a tray of water and a bowl of steaming soup. Mrs Han put the tray on a table and laid her cold hand over her daughter’s forehead.
“Hmm. Your fever seems to be over now, how about the cold?”
Like her body wanted to respond, Sowon suddenly turned away and sneezed, groaning at the discomfort feeling. Mrs Han grabbed a tissue and helped her clean up before disposing of it.
“Here, I brought your favourite mushroom and corn soup. Drink some while it’s hot.”
She offered the tray of food to Sowon and sat on the bed, arranging the messed up covers and pillows. Sowon felt a lump choke her throat and she coughed.
“Uh, mom?” Mrs Han looked at her and she swallowed, “I- dad told me about what happened on the day of my first dance showcase.”
Her mother stopped her actions before resuming then turned to her daughter with a smile.
“I know.”
Sowon's eyes widen, “you know?”
“Your father informed me.”
She looked down at her bowl of soup, the creamy and thick broth raising an arousing aroma of appetizing smell but Sowon focused on how to continue the conversation properly.
“You know Sowon, that day was the start of many unfortunate events. I don't blame you for being angry at me and your father for breaking the first promise we made.”
“I am sorry,” Sowon muttered and felt the tears trickle down her cheeks, “I had no idea and was selfish, only blaming the two of you without knowing anything.”
Mrs Han stroked her daughter's hair gently, “past is past Sowon. Let's leave it behind and focus on the future ahead, hm?”
Sowon managed a nod and grabbed the pile of the tissue box, harshly dabbing her face. The moment was emotional of course, but ugly tears and running nose was not a pleasant sight to behold.
“I'll do my best to remember that mom.”
“You know that both your dad and I love you immensely right? That we'd trade our happiness for your sake and only take the decisions that are best for you even though they may seem unpleasant.”
“Mom, you are saying like there are many secrets I am yet to know.”
Sowon joked and chuckled, shaking her head. Mrs Han offered a strained smile that did not reach her eyes. She could not tell the whole truth yet, not until her daughter was mature enough to understand everything.
So she only reached over and hugged Sowon, caressing her as she whispers in an inaudible voice to the air, the only burden of her heart.
“One day Sowon, you'll know it all.”
A/N: We got soft Namjoon and Mrs Han, aw. What are your thoughts on this chapter? Did you catch any idea? :)