Note:
Here I bless ya with a moment of joy before some more angst,
I've gotten complaints about this before, so I'll just make a note here for y'all.
This chapter has dubious consent via alcohol. While consent is given, both parties are intoxicated at least a bit. If this makes you uncomfortable, avoid the bolded ~ to the next bolded ~. (happens twice)
~
Snow dripped down, falling and forming a soft blanket. The night sky hid its stars behind the snow clouds but the beauty of the night was not put to shame or frozen. Though the streets were icy and the atmosphere was bitter cold, it was a rather pleasing night.
Dazai sighed as he shook the snow from his jacket, looking over to Chuuya, who shivered and clung to his clothes even though they were indoors. "Couldn't we have rescheduled this?" Dazai frowned, glancing over to Higuchi, who had driven them all here.
"Nope! Sorry, but I paid ahead and they're booked for the next week! We are enjoying tonight alright?" Dazai sighed. He honestly hated Karaoke since he associated it with the bad memories that involved Fyodor.
"Come on Dazai, stop being a killjoy!" Chuuya walked backward with his arms behind his back. He smiled as they were let into their room.
Chuuya grabbed the whine that had been pre-ordered to be ready for when they arrived. "Guess Chibi isn't driving back." Dazai snickered as he took a seat on the couch.
Higuchi smiles slyly as she leans back on a chair. "Oh, I already planned on driving you both back. I don't drink much." Dazai nodded as he took up a glass and poured himself something to drink.
"Yo Dazai, I dare you to get up and sing! I sang all night last time we were here, so it's your turn. Unless you're a coward, then I guess I'll go first." Dazai lowered his gaze and stood up walking to the microphone.
"I am not a coward!" Dazai huffed, turning back to swallow another two glasses relishing in the burn that trickled down his throat.
"Jeez, you two, we've been in here for like five minutes and you're already getting drunk. The food hasn't even arrived yet!" Higuchi huffed crossing her arms as Dazai grabbed the microphone.
Chuuya listened, impressed that Dazai wasn't half bad. He had a nice voice, far better than he'd been expecting. "You are both hopeless" Higuchi pinched the rim of her nose as she watched Chuuya's starstruck expression.
Chuuya took the stage after Dazai having to one-up him. It turned into a competition between the three of them, though Higuchi was more the third-wheel. The two boys were paying most of their attention to each other. Seems a little alcohol was enough to get them to stop being awkward idiots and get closer. Higuchi felt proud of herself as she stood up.
Walking out to check her phone, giving them a bit of time to work things out. She couldn't help but notice dazai's coat was vibrating. His phone seemed to be going off like crazy.
Chuuya was pressing closer to Dazai. The two of them fighting over the mic, even though there was another that could be used. They were both drunk, neither of them thinking too much.
~
They had been alone for all of ten minutes, fighting over the mic and challenging each other before things took a faster pace. It was expected with the force they were tugging the microphone with. The two tangled inside the wire before trying to separate and coincidently pulling each other to the floor. Dazai hissed trying to roll over before his brain caught up with him. He stared up at Chuuya, tilting his head lightly. Centimeter by centimeter Dazai's face grew redder and redder. He opened his mouth to tell Chuuya to move a bit so they could untangle themselves. Chuuya followed suit becoming red and squirming to untangle himself from Dazai. They ended up twisting on the floor before hitting the wall, free from the wire, but crashing into each other, face to face. It was for a split second, but their lips touched. Both of them jolted back a bit and looked away. Silence fell before Chuuya stood and grabbed another glass to swallow some courage. "Uh, y-you said you were straight right?"
Dazai tilted his head still star-struck. His fingers lifting to his lip unconsciously. "Oh yeah... uh, about that... I uh..." Chuuya swallowed the last of the wine before turning back to the brunette. Dazai had to be way past drunk, to be fair, so was he. Things were not making sense, but at the same time, he didn't care that things were getting weird. "Do it again." Chuuya tilted his head before realizing what he meant.
Chuuya became a tomato. He grabbed the rim of his hat and pulled it down as he stumbled for words. "You... my lips... on... you want me?" Chuuya peaked from the brim of his hat to find Dazai looking down at him. Screw it, they'd probably forget this in the morning. Chuuya leaned on his toes, shoving reasonable thought down his throat. Dazai's hands went around the smaller male's hips, pulling him closer. They went from lip movement to quickly trying to invade the other's mouth. Dazai's heart skipped a few beats here and there. A smile overtaking his lips as he pressed closer to Chuuya. Just as Chuuya pressed up against Dazai as if trying to melt into one the door opened.
Higuchi stood there before slowly starting to shut the door. "I'm just gonna be outside..." Dazai and Chuuya jolted several feet away from each other hiding embarrassment.
There was a long string of silence before Higuchi held up Dazai's phone, which was still ringing. Sighing, Dazai grumbled some upset words. He grabbed it and noticed 34 missed calls from his father. Normally he didn't call, and if he did, he stopped at three. "I'll be right back."
~
When Dazai was outside the room, Higuchi didn't let a single second go to waste. "Alright, so what was that?" Chuuya covered his face with his hands.
"We were fighting over the microphone, got tangled, the first um kiss was an accident, but he asked for another, so uh... yeah." Higuchi laughed, putting her hand to her face.
"Remind me next time I try to get two people together, karaoke, get them drunk, then leave the room." Chuuya went to reply, but before he could, Dazai wobbled in, his face devoid of all color. He rushed around gathering the things that belonged to him.
Chuuya became alarmed and reached out to Dazai. "Dazai, what's up?"
Dazai shook his hand off before pausing. "Hospital..." Chuuya looked to Higuchi who patted her jeans down for her keys and grabbed them.
"I'll drive." She mumbled looking at the two. Chuuya held Dazai upright and angled himself when he regurgitated the alcohol he'd inhaled on what he assumed to be an empty stomach.
When they were in the car, Dazai found himself leaning against Chuuya. "Dazai, what happened on that call you took?" Dazai looked down to the floor trying to move away from Chuuya, who didn't seem to be letting go of him anytime soon.
"The bastard... he said, Oda..." Chuuya nodded, needing no other words. They were both hammered, but Chuuya was the least of the two. He was able to support Dazai, who probably would have fallen over at any moment if he wasn't being supported. Chuuya hadn't bothered to bundle up, dangerous for him in such cold, but he wasn't worried about that right now. He was worried about Dazai. He walked with him into the waiting room. Higuchi had beaten them to it, asking the counter if they could find the room of a male by the name of Oda. She was talking with the guy at the counter when she noticed the two stumble in.
She shook her head, pointing to a chair, before pulling Chuuya from Dazai. "What's his relationship with his father like?" Chuuya shrugged, holding back the urge to look at Dazai.
"I mean, considering he doesn't live with him... probably not good." Chuuya struggled to keep his voice from slurring, only to keep the others in the waiting area from knowing he was drunk.
"... then we wait and hope things take a better turn." Chuuya didn't want to think too deeply about what those words meant. Instead, he walked over to Dazai and took a seat next to him.
The next moment his eyes opened, he was back at the dorm. When he checked his phone, he had a few messages. Higuchi had driven him home when Dazai asked to be alone. The next message was Dazai, who had sent him a small heart-wrenching message. "I couldn't get custody of them, he's gone and Mori gets them..." Chuuya slid from bed, hissing at his headache, but pushing through.
Chuuya rummaged around the kitchen for ingredients. He'd make brownies for Dazai when he got back. He'd apologize for the kiss and offer him whatever comfort he could. He'd lost the person he cared about... the thought was foreign to him. It didn't feel real, if he felt like this, what about Dazai? Was he frozen or was he on the brink of collapsing completely? Chuuya finished the brownies, but wasn't left with much time to ponder his thoughts. Dazai stepped through the door. He didn't look upset, but his expression was rather blank. So that was it? Dazai was in shock, he hadn't accepted it yet. "Dazai? Are you... alright?" as Chuuya wrapped the question up, he slapped himself mentally. Of course, Dazai wasn't alright.
Dazai continued walking closer, his eyes still held an off glimmer. They had both been extremely hammered earlier that night, Dazai seemed to be walking fine on his own now. However, it would be impossible for the brunette to be sober. Perhaps that's why he hadn't set into grief yet? "Yeah... I'm alright." His speech was certainly still slightly slurred. Who'd driven him here? Had he gotten a cab? Chuuya himself wasn't sober yet either. He'd only slept for a few hours based on the time. His head felt a bit clearer, he was thinking straighter, but he was still far from making normal decisions. Chuuya grabbed the plate of brownies, shoving them into Dazai's hands. The small smile over Dazai's lips didn't go unnoticed.
Chuuya took a seat on the couch before running his fingers through his hair. He hadn't bothered to tie it back after he woke up. His eyes trailed over Dazai, his mind was working on a way to get the right words out. "Do you... you know, sleep around as a way to distract yourself?" It had been a question on his mind for a while.
Dazai's head shot to the side to look at Chuuya, taking a deep inhale before he could respond. "I guess so."
Chuuya nodded looking down to the floor as he mumbled. "I'm sorry for kissing you during Karaoke, I wasn't thinking."
Dazai shrugged, setting the brownies down. He walked over to the couch without a word before leaning down with a smirk. "You really shouldn't apologize. I said I enjoyed it, didn't I?" Dazai's hand lifted from his side to cup around Chuuya's chin.
!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!
Chuuya's cheeks lit up, his eyes lowering slightly. They really shouldn't, neither of them were in their right minds. He wanted to though, he really did. He could almost hear the scolding he'd get from his dad, sister, and even his sister's girlfriend. Those rational thoughts were cut off as soon as he felt the other's lips. He'd initiated it despite having his chin held. Dazai's grip wasn't tight or forceful, which bugged him slightly. "Chuuya..." Dazai's voice was airy, a sound he definitely wasn't used to hearing from the brunette, but it twisted his heart around.
Sliding from the couch, Chuuya reached to pull Dazai towards him. "I..." Chuuya didn't feel nervous, he was actually rather confident. Perhaps that was the alcohol running in his system?
Dazai shook his head, sighing though his eyes were avoiding Chuuya. "You don't have to... if you're a virgin, it just... you deserve to do this with somebody you like." Dazai's heart with the added effects of alcohol felt as if it were racing a car.
Chuuya shook his head falling towards Dazai. "I don't mind."
"You-" Chuuya didn't let Dazai change his mind. Even if they were both drunk and out of their minds... he knew somehow neither of them were going to wake up and regret this.
Their lips moved in sync, neither of them pulling apart. They sunk into each other's touch, Dazai was normally the one who initiated and started things. Chuuya flicked his tongue over Dazai's lips, surprised when Dazai didn't retort or resist. His mouth parted for him. Chuuya was inexperienced, he'd only ever kissed two people before Dazai. Both of them had been forceful, they had never let him explore or have a bit of control. This was nicer than he'd been expecting. He'd generally been afraid of doing anything or making a move, purely because he thought Dazai would be like the others. Maybe he was when he wasn't drunk, so for now he'd enjoy this. Being this close to him, it was nice, it felt like he was completing something within himself.
Needing a breath of air, Chuuya pulled away panting. Dazai's breaths were still steady, it was almost unfair. "We should... move to somewhere soft." right, Chuuya nodded sliding over the back of the couch, waiting for Dazai to fall next to him. He'd expected this to be more awkward. Don't get him wrong, they were both hesitant, nervous, their movements stiff and Rigid but they weren't frozen and blabbering nonsense. If they were like this while drunk, he could only think about what it would be like if they weren't. How different would Dazai be sober? Would he be more embarrassed or have a stronger presence? Chuuya already knew if he wasn't drunk himself, he'd be far too embarrassed to do anything but sit there. Yet, before Dazai had even sat down, Chuuya had pulled him beside him and leaned over him. He watched as the brunette, who was always so collected, turned red in the face trying to avoid eye contact. This drunk version of Dazai was kinda cute. "Are you sure you're alright with this Chibi?" The smirk across Dazai's face told Chuuya he'd used the nickname on purpose, knowing he'd get worked up over being called short.
"I already said I was, didn't I?" Chuuya retorted trying to place an annoyed tone to his voice. Dazai moved his eyes to look up at Chuuya, losing himself in the bright color. The room was dark enough to keep things in the kitchen-space dark, but with the closeness of Chuuya to his face, he could stare and be memorized by the crystal clear blue.
Chuuya dipped his head down, stealing another kiss. The pair let their eyes shutter closed, each second that passed led to a rougher, more active kiss. The kiss led to hands moving about their bodies, and hands dipping underneath clothes. The two ignored anything, and everything around them; entirely focused on each other. The rest of the world may end right then, and neither of them would have noticed. Lost in the movements of their bodies. Though Chuuya found himself startled here and there by Dazai's pleasured hums and the movements he made, he stayed leaning over Dazai. With no prior experience, he went off things he'd read and seen.
When they had both become too tired to continue, spent for the night, Chuuya collapsed next to Dazai, unsure of where to place his hands or if he should wobble back to his room. Dazai took care of that for him. Dazai had never been in this position before, but he curled up, his head on Chuuya's chest, leading the male's arms to lie wrapped around him. They spoke no words, letting the steadiness of their breathing drift them off into sleep.
!!!~!!!
Chuuya woke up, lying alone on the couch. He pulled his hand from under a blanket, when had he gotten up to grab a blanket? His head felt it may explode. He went to pull the blanket away before realizing he probably shouldn't. Memories of last night flooded through his head. Almost immediately, he dove completely under the blanket with no intention of climbing out for a while. "Chuuya, you can't hide forever. You gotta get up eventually." If anything, the sound of Dazai's extremely chipper voice caused his cheeks to redden further. "Clothes are on the floor... we can have a chat after your... uh dressed." pervert. Chuuya peaked from the blanket, he was indeed staring at the blanket.
"... You could give some privacy, you know!" Chuuya reached to grab a pillow to toss at him, only to freeze when he started walking towards his room.
"Just knock or yell when you're... good." Dazai seemed full of surprises. Either he was nicer than Chuuya thought or he was extremely uncomfortable. Probably the latter, but he'd give himself a bit of hope.
When Dazai was gone, he slid the clothes on before looking for a spare hair-tie. Sighing when there wasn't one near him, he planted himself at the table, placing his head down and rubbing his temples. "I'm... dressed." Chuuya felt his cheeks heat up from the words. The effect of the alcohol had completely left his system. He wasn't left with regret, but rather extraordinary amounts of pure embarrassment and worry.
Dazai didn't seem to hesitate with what he wanted to talk about. He leaned against the counter before pulling himself onto it. "Last night-"
Chuuya immediately bit his tongue, trying not to blurt out an apology, but failed. "I'm sorry I know you were drunk, and so was I but-."
"Woah, slow down... I wasn't going that direction, Chibi." Chuuya glanced up before going back to staring at the floor. "I was just checking to make sure you didn't regret it. I mean we were both hammered and I was definitely not thinking about the next day. I may be a playboy jerk but I'm not that cruel, or at least I'm not as cruel as Fyodor." He was rambling, he didn't ramble on and on. Nervous, he was way too nervous. Past the point of being able to flirt his way around the insecure feeling.
Chuuya tilted his head. His mouth hung open, trying to make sense of Dazai. Had he been overthinking everything? "Wha? No, of course I don't regret it. I mean yeah, we were drunk, but not that drunk. I was worried you were going to... to..." there it was, Dazai held his hand up to stop Chuuya. He knew very well what that look was. He was piecing it together. Chuuya's reactions to situations, the things he expects as if to not get his hopes too far up. Something had happened to him in the past. And lord did the thought enrage the brunette.
"We both enjoyed ourselves in a distraction. Let's just leave it there." Dazai waited for Chuuya to respond. His shoulders sagged, but the ginger sat up and nodded before standing.
"Great, I'll make us something to eat. Actually, first, could you move? You're kinda blocking the meds... my heads killing me." Dazai nodded sliding off the counter.
Even though they had talked, Dazai still had something on his mind. He couldn't ask the ginger, he'd probably never be able to. He was afraid to ask, what are we? He didn't know the answer himself and doubted Chuuya would know the answer either. For now, they were just friends, right?