✰ Jon's POV: ✰
Tossing, turning. That's all I ever do when I'm sleeping, but tonight, it was different than precious nights before. Why in the hell could I not fall asleep? Normally it doesn't take that much tossing and turning to knock me into that deep sleep that I oh so am in love with. Weird ass shit right there. I just want to go to sleep, but that's obviously not an option. The world really didn't want me sleeping tonight. That, and the coffee done wore off from the café Hardy, Ashland and I went to, so that's not a factor either.
The more I tossed and turned, the worse it made me feel. I needed to get up, and do something. See, maybe it'll wear me out to the point that I'll be tired enough to just be knocked out! I can be a genius when I want to be.
Tumbling my way out of the king sized bed that gets super lonely and cold when I'm alone, I then made my way downstairs, in which there was a mess greeting me as I had walked into the kitchen. Dammit, I forgot all about this dishes I messed up while cooking dinner. Spoiler alert, I royally fucked it up. I burnt it, so I ended up ordering take out. That's how my night and dinner ended out, oh well.
I grabbed the pans that were sitting out on the countertop and laid it into the sink carefully just so I wouldn't make too much noise. Okay, now I know no one's in my house, but Whitley is somewhere around the house, and he likes to sleep just as much as I do. Which is a lot. Damn, I sure do love to sleep. So much so, that I've missed some important appointments due to my lazy ass, uh oh.
I was just about to start washing up the dishes and cleaning the rest of the kitchen, that was until I heard my phone going off in my hoodie pocket. Damn, my volume is up high as hell. I need to remember to turn it down next time. Who knows, my neighbors might even be able to hear the ringtone, and that can be dangerous.
I hurriedly grabbed ahold of my iPhone from my pocket and slid the answer button. Obviously, it was Ashland. I wonder what in the hell she could be doing up at two, almost three in the morning. I wonder if she was having trouble sleeping like I was. Hey, it's a long shot, but that's just my assumption.
"Howdy, howdy, howdy. You're speaking to the one and only Jonathan Langston," I remarked right as I had answered the phone.
"Wow!" Ashland gasped. "I would've never guessed. I must be a lucky girl to be talking to him this late at night. I always call you at this time at night. You never pick up, but tonight you did."
What? Wow, to be honest, that hit home. There have been times late at night where I so desperately wanted to reach out and call Ash. That's all I truly and really wanted to do. Nights get so lonely, cold, and dare I say it, it gets scary when you have to sleep alone. Wake up alone. Live alone. Just being alone. Knowing that she calls me up when I'm sleeping or whatever really hits home to me.
"Mmm, yeah, actually, you're pretty lucky. No girls don't even want to pass a glance at me, much less want to be with me. I know, I know, shocking. But hey, that's how the cookie crumbles, right?" I joked, chuckling a bit at what I had said.
"You're so damn adorable! I am the luckiest girl in the world because I'm so beyond lucky enough to know you, and be your best friend. Life with you makes perfect sense," I could just see the most beautiful smile plastered across Ashland's face. Such a beautiful woman, both inside and out.
I tapped my nails over and over on the countertop as I was listening to what she had said to me, and there was no denying that I was blushing like a lunatic. I haven't been this happy in a long ass time. I was low-key hoping that she'd invite me over or something. I needed to see her, and I needed to see her now.
"Ash, not to cut this short, but I need to.. Uh, sort something out. Look, I'll call you back a little later," I made up a lie. I wanted to surprise her by coming by to her place.
"Eh.. Okay, I'll talk to you later, bubs," She sighed softly. "But hopefully I get to see your sweet face tomorrow," Ash perked right back up. That's good, thank the Lord. She's going to be very perky and happy when she sees me at her house, just she waits!
**
I put on a pair of grey sweatpants and a hoodie that had my farm's name and logo on it. I did change out of my Georgia hoodie only because I was wearing that when Ash and I had went out to that café. Not even going to lie though, that was the most laid-back and nicest café I had ever been in before. I was thinking about taking Ashland out on a coffee date there, but then again, that is the location where her and Hardy cut things off, so that would be a little weird for her, I think.
After doing all that thinking and pondering, I grabbed the duffle bag that had a change of clothes in it. I also stepped into my also grey colored Adidas tennis shoes, and was finally headed out the front door. I finally got a doggy door installed for Whitley so that if he ever needs to go out while I'm away, he has free range. Now that is very efficient. It was no easy feat installing a doggy door, but I was able to do it. It took three Youtube video tutorials, but it turned out good enough, so no complaints are going to be coming from me.
I completed the not-so-long drive to Ashland's house. I don't know why, but I am super nervous to surprise her. What if she wants to be isolated? What if she wants to be alone? What if she doesn't want to see me? What if... No! No more self-sabotaging. I need to get a grip and pull myself together. I can't keep doing this to myself. How am I ever going to make it in the world- and in a relationship if I continue to put myself down for every little thing I do or say? Yeah, I won't be able to make it, so starting right here and right now in my best friend's driveway, there shall be no more self-sabotaging. It's going to be a hard feat, but on God, I know I've got this.
I turned the key in the opposite direction, pulled them out, then I myself got out of the truck and soon made my way to Ash's front door. She doesn't ever have her doors unlocked, so I have to knock a few times. Sadly, I can't just walk on inside, like I'd kill to do.
I was waiting for her to come and answer the door. First knock, no answer. Second knock, no answer. By the time I had gotten to the third knock, I still had gotten no answer. What was going on? Was she okay?! I had to hurry up and find a way inside her house ASAP. We all know I overthink things, so something serious could certainly be happening and I want to be able to prevent it from occurring, or at least any more than what it is. If that makes sense, that is.
Right as I was just about to go and do my fourth knock, my eyes quickly darted to the doorknob and it started to turn. Hell yes! She's finally heard my knocks and is coming out to finally see me. Or well, I'm finally getting to see her. I've missed her more than words can describe, and I literally just saw her a few hours ago. That's it, I really need to tell Ash how I feel, and it's gotta be soon. I don't care if we have to be on the down low for a while, I'm okay with that. I only want and need one woman in my life, and that's Ashland. She knows it, I know it, hell, even my band member knows it. If he can pick up on our feelings, then it must be strong as hell. And quite noticable too.
Ashland's smile grew from ear to ear as I saw a few tears drop onto her cheeks. She squealed and leaped into my arms, her legs instantly wrapping around my waist and her arms around my neck. I guess I more than just surprised her, she seemed so happy about everything.
She started kissing all over my face before speaking, "Jon Langston, what in the hell are you doin' here, boy?! I'm so ecstatic to see you!"
I couldn't help but tear up at Ashland's words. Knowing that she was so happy to see me meant a lot to me. More than anyone could ever know.
"Baby girl, I couldn't fight or resist the urge any longer. I had to come and see my favorite girl. I didn't and still don't care that it's late. I needed to see you whether it was the last thing I did. I'm so happy I'm here."
The smile that was on her face told me everything I needed to know. No joke, I could see the want and desire in her eyes, similar to what I feel in my heart. Am I really going to spill my feelings to Ash at three in the morning? It's a little too early to tell, no pun intended. I would love to, but she just freshly got out of that bad relationship with Hardy, I don't want to make it seem like she was cheating on him with me, it was far from that. And it'll always be far from that.
Ashland led me inside of her small one-story house and the second I walked through the door, her dog, Dolly barked and looked up at me. She sniffed my feet and her head turned. Aww, her dog is so adorable. I literally wouldn't say that out loud and around Whitley. I'm sure he wouldn't like that too much, ha.
"So.. You really couldn't fight the urge to come and see someone like me? I'm flattered. Like, you don't know how good that makes me feel. No one, not even a guy has ever had any type of urge to see me or whatever," Ashland wiped her eyes as she grabbed ahold of my hand.
"Yep. I really wanted to see you, hell before you even called. Then hearing your voice just made me miss you even more.." I admitted softly. "I hate being away from you, Ashy cash. I hate when I have to say goodbye to you. I hate having to go home alone. I just hate it all."
Ash looked into my eyes as she still had a tight hold on my hand and then her words came out slowly and surely, "Jon, I feel the same exact way. The second the two of us part ways, whether if it's us going home after hanging out all day, the tour, or whatever, I feel the sting of the almost unbearable pain in my heart the second I leave you. JLang, you're my best friend. Well, you already know that. What I'm trying to say is.." She paused for a moment.
"What I'm trying to hopefully say to you is that.. I'm actually so thankful that you told me about Michael's mistress and infidelity stuff. It only made you and I grow closer and have a tighter bond. I didn't think we could be as close as we are now. Obviously, we've always been close-knit, but this time, it's different and it feels amazing. Despite Michael cheating on me and breaking up with me, I've actually gotten happier because you've been there for me through it all. Honestly, Mike had talked shit about you when we first got together," Ashland sighed sadly.
"I kept defending you. On God I defended the hell out of you. He got so jealous of you, but I didn't even care. Because deep down, you were what I wanted and needed. You still are. Jonathan Langston, I love you.. You are the one I run to, the one I need, the one I want, the one I desire. The one. I want to tackle on whatever life throws at either of us. I want it all with you."
Tears flooding in my eyes, onto my cheeks, jaw, and neck. I have longed for years to hear those words from some girl, any girl if I was desperate enough. But hearing it come from your best friend is an unbeatable feeling that I don't want to ever lose.
I was bawling and there was no way in hell that it was going to stop. Ashland done turned on the waterworks in my brain, and there really is no stopping or flipping the switch off once you turn it on. I literally was a crying mess. But I didn't feel too bad considering that Ash is also crying. Probably from what she had said and also from the shock of seeing me at her door at three in the morning.
✰ Ashland's POV: ✰
Okay, things have taken a drastic turn. I just pretty much spilled out all my feelings that I've been keeping in me just now to J. Dammit, that wasn't meant to all come out at once! I am kicking myself extra hard for doing something so stupid. It doesn't help that I had a few glasses of wine about twenty minutes ago, I think the alcohol has officially kicked in. That, and every night I call Jon up at the same time in the middle of the night is because the alcohol tells me to do it, and obviously I can't just tell myself no. But those feelings I spilled out to Jon, that wasn't just the wine talking. It was mainly me, my heart, mind, soul, and feelings. I would've probably said this stuff sober.
Poor bubs, he was crying. I couldn't help but have my tears fall. They came out of my eyes, and boy were they coming out fast! There was no stopping or slowing down the waterfalls that were coming from my orbs.
"H-hey, Jon, don't.. Don't cry. Everything's going to be just fine. I promise. Why are you even crying? I'm sorry about everything I said, though I did mean it all. I hope you don't hate me or anything bad like that," I frowned. "You truly are the one for me, and I am not saying I have a chance, but if I ever was lucky enough to date you, I'd literally spoil the hell out of you. With love, snuggles, and even more stuff than that," I also whispered in his ear with a small giggle.
"Oh shit, is my crying too much on ya? My bad," Jon laughed. He truly laughed. I haven't seen him this happy or smile and laugh like this in a very long time.
"Anyway, don't apologize. Those are your feelings. Hell, if I'm being honest, which I totally and completely am, there's some things I really need to discuss with you. It's goin' to be very long, but I hope I have chosen the right words and things to say. If not, you just give me a holler and I'll remember not to say or bring up something ever again," Jon gazed into my eyes as he had his hands wrapped up into my own, his thumbs rubbing up and down on my knuckles.
He breathed in and out a few times, his eyes shut lightly until he opened them back up and started to talk, "Ashland, Lord, where do I even begin? Me and you go way, way back. Way more back than we both could ever imagine. I remember the day I met you, I knew I was taking you under my wing. You were wanting to make it big in Nashville, which you're doin' a wonderful job at doin' so, by the way. Anyway, that's besides the point, what I'm sayin' is, I'm so fucking glad that I met you when I did. I know I was with Anna for a long time, and similar to the situation with you and Hardy with what you mentioned, my heart only wanted and needed one girl, and that wasn't Anna, obviously. It was you. My heart beats for you. My lungs breathe for you. I live my life because of you. You make my whole entire life worth living. You've opened up my eyes to all the beautiful things in life, which includes you. I love you. I don't mean that in a 'just friends' way anymore. I mean that in a 'I want to take the next step into this chapter of both our lives' way... So, what do you say, Ashy? Do you want to attempt to make things work out?"
What? What? No way! The man of my dreams just made all my dreams come true. God knew exactly what he was doing when he made J, but damn, those words of his are going to make me wake up with the worst eye pain. If you've ever cried, went to sleep, then woke up the next morning, you more than likely know what I'm rambling on about.
After I let my brain replay the words that Jon had said to me, I knew that there was absolutely no doubt in my mind that I was going to obviously say yes to the guy. He's not only been a good friend to me, but he's been the best friend that I could always count on, and he was okay with risking his friendship with Michael just for me by telling me all about Mike's secret. In the beginning, it hurt, it hurt like hell. But at the end of the day, I'm finally getting who I needed to be with all this time. This is my moment where I can say, I've made it. And I'm able to finally say I'm happy with someone for once in my life. I have high hopes for Jon and I. I just hope he isn't asking to try things out just because he's in the spur of a moment. I hope and pray he means all of his feelings just as much as I did with mine.
I gave my heart away to Michael, he tore it apart, and I'm assuming now, I'm giving my heart to Jon. I sure hope he doesn't end up like Michael and tears it apart even more. It's going to take time for me to adjust from being with Mike then Jon. I love J, don't get me wrong, but at the end of the day, all I want is a love that lasts. That, and Jon's my best friend, I would never ever do anything to hurt him, us, or our friendship. I'd never do it, not for any amount of money, happiness, fame, fortune or anything like that. I truly cherish and love my best friend! And I'd yell it from some rooftop, if I was able to.
I was too speechless to even say anything, so I just nodded my head rapidly, and so that was my way of saying yes to Jon. I then jerked my hands out of his, my arms immediately wrapping around his waist, his going around my waist as well. My head was on his chest and this was the moment I realized, this felt right, amazing, wonderful, and most of all, I felt safe, warm, and secure in his arms. I've never felt this way about a man in my whole entire life, but I'm okay with that, because I found my true happiness in my friendship with Jon. We've had our ups and downs with our friendship, but all friends have their moments where they get into arguments, fights or whatever, but at the end of the day, your best friend is more than likely your soulmate. And hell, even the love of your life, if you're like me and J.
~ omg awww 😭😭 Ash confessed her real and true feelings to Jon in this chapter and Jon did the same to Ash. AHHHH!!! Even I GOT EMOTIONAL, and I am the writer, not the reader 😂😩 y'all, I'm not lying when I say that J & A are becoming some of my favorite book characters to write about. They literally are going to become one of my favorite couples to write about. No one will be able to take the place of Jon and Julia in my Forever Girl series. They're my babies, just like Jon and Ashland are in this one! 🥺 either way, trainwreck is becoming one of my most favorite stories I've written (and I have a lot written. most of it's in my drafts!🤪)
~ also, I don't know how I was able to get this out within 1-2 days since the last chapter, but here I am! 😜 I'm like so super proud of myself. Here's to hoping I'm more active and publishing more often like this. I love being this active, and I'm sure you guys do, as well!!🥰
~ sorry for the such short author's note on this chapter, but I don't want to write a whole bunch on an author's note and make it seem like you have to read it. you actually don't have to read these, but if you do, then hi! and thank you for reading my thoughts and other things!! 🤗💜
~ also this is the longest chapter of this series. it's pretty much almost at 4,000 words. I'm so so proud of myself, y'all!! And I'm so happy you guys get to read this chapter (and the upcoming ones to follow). Also, a new don't cry, daddy chapter will be out soon as I know you guys LOVE that series, I do too. It's also becoming my favorite to write in, as well!!✨💛
~ if you guys enjoyed this chapter, lemme know, vote, comment and add this story to your library. thank you in advance!! 🤍💕
⌦ ⌦ ⌦ Next chapter loading.. ⌫ ⌫ ⌫