Meter
“Another award for Miss Smile! Truly, she's born to be a star!”
“Ang swerte niya!”
“Paglaki ko gusto kong maging katulad niya.”
I felt him walked beside me in the night, so quietly that I thought he was mute. I had to peek at him constantly to be sure he was still there, the darkness suit us well.
Clasper led the way to our hotel suit, “I’ll go to the appointment first thing in the morning.” I just chuckled while barefooted walking towards the king size bed. “Are you going to be okay?” I can sense the concern on his voice, “you’ll meet your bestfriend tommorow right?”
The fragrance coming off my skin smelled dangerous. It would make me more confident, I like intense things. I wasn't afraid to sacrifice everything to be on the top. How funny, the world seems to change drastically. Before I was just silently wishing to be on the top without stepping anyone but for some inconvenience I realized a important essence in life. That I should have done sooner, in order to survive learn to sacrifice, learn to step all those bugs blocking the way. “I’ll be okay," I answered with assurance. “Bibisita ka ba sa memorial pagkatapos?”Clasper stopped in the midway of undressing. “Stop blaming yourself. Past is past,”
He smiled bitterly. “Easy to say. Wrecked people do know how to give advises huh?”
I winked at him. “Of course, after all experience is the best teacher. ” Tinapik ko ang espasyo sa kama, tumitig si Clasper bago humiga. I was only wearing a night dress while he was wearing a sweat shirt and topless. Nothing to be afraid nor to shy off. It's normal for us even seeing each other naked. “If you can turn back time. What will you do?” Unconsciously asked.
Clasper hummed. After ten incredibly long seconds, he took a deep breath. “I shouldn't had left. And everything will be okay.” I clenched my fist the not so very peaceful life we had is slowly shattering to the point we have nothing to hide. “In the end despite of achieving everything the regret always weigh much than happiness. What about you?” He asked.
I lifted my hands as if I'm trying to reach the ceiling. “I don't know but one thing for sure, worthless person doesn't deserve me nor even saying my name. All happened in the past is a permanent nightmare. Na kahit anong hilod ko o ligo ramdam ko pa rin ang mga markang ‘yon, na kahit sa pagpikit paulit-ulit na ipinapakita sa akin ang lahat, sa bawat pagtibok ng puso ko ramdam ko ang pait. And you know what Clasper?” I stared blankly at him, I didn't even notice that he's on top of me. “There’s always regrets on everything kahit anong pag-iwas ang gagawin mo hindi mo iyon maiiwasan. That's why, do things that satisfying then regret later, after all beyond this tired soul there's one place we desperately want to see to end everything.”He held my hand and placed it on his cheeks, he then started kissing it with his eyes focused on me.
There's only you and I on this mess.
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Wearing my vintage outfit I did a pose as the camera flashed. This is my daily routine, waking up in a bed with Clasper beside me and working until dawn. I waited impatiently while tapping my forefinger on the table it was so hard to hide my identity on the public. Deiry and I decided to meet after years of being apart. How I miss my bestfriend who's always on my side the only thing is the fault that I've done on her.
I was the one that cut out connection with each other she was continuously making a way to reach me out but I shrugged it off afraid of something she'll find out. Part of my head was sorting through the fact on my memory and speculation trying to think what move shall I take..
A woman wearing a lose brown pants paired with not-so-high-sandals and plain t-shirt, Deiry's fashion sense always make me smile. She's living with motto “wear clothes that makes you comfortable,” and yep, it suits her big time.
“Hi,” I greeted her as she sat on the chair in front of me. “Dei?” I called her name hesitantly. Nervous of her poker face.
Deiry picked the menu and ordered without replying, is she still angry? I thought me made it out. “Now,” her eyes were staring into the depth of my being. “Explain what happened. What did you do in those years being away, why did you cut off our connection, why did you broke the promises we made. And what the hell you got through on those years.” I gulped hard, knowing her personality it's hard to lie on her face. Either I run away or just cry and admit all the truths.
“D-Dei–––”
“I searched for you. I even experience those damn fucking mother fuckers just to know what happened. And now, I'll give you the chance to confess. Stop thinking of running away because I knew some part of the past, Dorothy Smile Felipe.” I barely noticed when the strange, silent tears started streaming down on my cheeks.
She knew? I did all my best to buried it so that no one can find out.
Deiry just watched me silently crying, thank God we occupied a VIP table that's a relief. I spent half minute’s shedding a tear before deciding to open my mouth and started to talk. Her mouth gaped open, I revealed the half truth. I don't have yet the courage to tell her the whole story but I hope she'll understand.
“Fuck, why didn't you ask for help?!” A lone tear escaped on her cold eyes. “Why?!” She tried to conceal her anger but failed miserably. “H-How?”
I took a deep breath and held her fist. “I’m okay now,” it was a lie. “Don’t worry Dei. I'm not alone anymore..” I smiled genuinely at her Deiry on the other hand shut her eyes off trying to calm. “You know he's amazing.. He's someone who'll support you throughout your darkest days.. He's someone I wanna hold until the time we both couldn't let go each other..”
Deiry bit her lower lips. “Sounds dreamy, huh.” As usual she can easily see my inner thoughts, “if I were the same person way back I'll advise you to not get yourself attached but since I've grown just bear on your mind that we're always here for you. You're not alone on your battles, Dorothy.”
“I’m glad I got the chance to see you again, Dei.” I said.
“Me too,” she replied.
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T
his is the time I wanna last forever. With my hectic schedule I rarely get the chance to relax and hang out with my friend. Rossweisse picked up Deiry awhile ago, pinipilit pa ako nitong ihatid sa condo ko pero mariin akong tumanggi. Media are everywhere beating around the bush to get a juicy story and that's what I hate the most.
I stopped walking. “What do you want?” The footsteps that was following me vanished. Kanina ko pa nararamdaman ang pagsunod nito, hindi ito ang unang beses na naranasan ko ang ganitong sitwasyon. It's frightening. I tightly took my emergency tool, a lipstick that can has hidden blade on it incase someone might harm me.
Malamig ang paligid, nakakabingi ang katahimikan. Agad akong humarap sa direksyon kung saan ko narinig ang mga yapak na iyon, wala akong dapat ikatakot dahil mas malala ang pangyayaring iyon. I swiftly swayed the blade I'm holding and grab that asshole's neck, cornering him in the wall.
“AH! PUTANGINA!” His shout when he noticed my sudden movements. “Ma’am hindi ako!” The guy said while both hands where in the air. Doon ko napagtantong may nakahandusay na lalaki sa lapag, nangunot ang aking noo. What the hell is happening?
I glared him, he flinched. “What the fuck do you want? Are you the stalker?” My gripped went tighter, he was coughing. “One wrong move and this night will have murder case.” I uttered.
Natatakot itong umiling kaya niluwagan ko ang pagkakasakal sakanya, “a-ah..” He desperately gasped for air. “Ma’am promise hindi ako stalker. Swear to God man. Promise,” he looked younger than me also his plain attire makes him suspicious. “Napag-utusan lang po talaga ak–––ay shet!”
Nanliit ang aking mga mata sa narinig. “Napag-utusan ka?” Mariin ang bawat pagkakabigkas ng aking salita.
Umiwas ito ng tingin, “u-uhm.. A-Ano basta ma'am hindi ako stalker kasi mayayari ako kay boss kapag ganoon. Promise talaga ma'am! Wala talaga akong balak na masama! Mapagkakatiwalaan ako!”
I frowned. “Ganiyan ang mga linyahan ng mga taong sasaksakin ka patalikod.” I bluntly commented causing him to scratched his nape. “What is exactly your mission? Do Clasper sent you?” I was wondering alright, my judgement is clear as the night sky so I'm pretty sure he isn't upto something.
“Clasper?” Mahina nitong bulong, “ah! Clasper Rivera? Eh? Hindi ba kaaway iyon ni boss?” Tanong nito sa sarili, I took a deep breath. What a waste of time.
I turned my back on him. “Just don't get on my way so that I won't mistaken you as a stalker.” Once again I glanced at him who's looking me with amusement, “take care of that guy who's laying on the floor. No one will like it if I'll do it myself.” I smirked. “You see I'm not a fragile girl that is easily to take down.”
That guy is masking himself with those petty personality. What a pity for him that he wasn't able to deceive me, on the path that I'm taking this is a common thing to encounter. I was meter a way when he suddenly talk.
His playful expression vanished but was replaced with a sarcastic and arrogant look.. “Be safe, acushla.” My head suddenly throbbed. “That was a message I was ordered to tell when our path crossed. Anyway, I'm not a stalker this guy is planning something wicked towards you ma'am. And coincidentally I was hired again to keep you safe from afar, this is destiny. Right, ma'am?” He gave me his polite smile but I won't buy it.
This guy is surely something to be ware off.
“Pissed off.” I said.
He's clearly showing me his hostility. “You can't stop that person to watch over you, even meters away won't keep him still. So, don't avenge for something that will backfire in the end. Stop making people worry over you.” And with that he walked away dragging the unconscious man.
My mind was empty as I entered my condo. Agad kong nilock ang pinto at dumiretso sa banyo upang maligo. I'm in the of undressing my top when the big mirror caught my attention. I saw myself in the full body mirror, I started to laugh humorously. How dare him say those words in front of me. How dare them look down at me. How dare them took away all the things I once cherished. And how dare them ro wrecked me into pieces.
“Fuck this life,” I murmured as I stared at the large scar at my abdomen, the remembrance of the past.
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#Meter