Two weeks later:
As figured, life for Kross and I returned back to chaotic the minute we landed home in Atlanta. He had an extremely important business meeting that same day and went into the office. My manager— on the other hand, wasted no time opening up my schedule. I was booked with tons of photo shoots and exclusive interviews since every blog and magazine runner were all wondering the same question— 'what's life like now, being a married woman?'.
As if life was supposed to change drastically or I had gotten married to a stranger I still needed to adjust to. "Knock knock. Ready to shine?" Lynn, my manager comes walking through the door. This was my first day back at work and to say I missed it— this, would be a bold faced lie. "Always ready." I gave myself a one-over in the mirror ahead, gently running my acrylic nails through the soft loose curls.
"You'll be fine. Today's shoot will open so many more doors for you, Destiny. Be yourself in front those cameras and shine like the star you are." Lynn patted my shoulder— however, I found this to be the least supportive pep talk. As I stood in front of the cameras I was told by the photographer, Eli Gustovallie to loosen up, get comfortable and be myself; just as Lynn did. Except, I felt a heavy wave of pressure.
Here I was, getting ready to shoot for the one and only Eli Gustovallie— who, thought I'd be the perfect candidate for this months cover of 'Hot Moms under Thirty'. Truth be told; I didn't know wether to be offended or horned at the time I had received the news. Lynn said this opportunity would be the next best thing I would be on every magazine cover printed. So, I did as Eli instructed; loosening up, getting comfortable and being myself— whatever that meant.
Lynn slipped me a thumbs up here and there while Eli encouraged me; letting me know how good some of the photos were looking already. Forty-five-minutes later the shoot had come to an end. Everyone on set clapped and Eli gave a quick thank you speech. "Destiny you're a star!" He flicked through his camera, showing me some of the amazing photos he captured.
"Hot Moms under Thirty, huh", I thought to myself while observing the picture Eli had stopped on closely. I thought that label was highly offense to many women who are mothers. You don't need to be under thirty to be considered a hot mom. Some of the hottest moms are often seen wearing sweat pants all day with their hair tied up— that is what you label a hot mom.
After leaving the studio I sat in my jeep, desperately trying to gather my thoughts. I love my job and what I do— however, sometimes I wished I had more free control over choosing the things I do or don't do. People only see the pretty photos and the edited interviews not knowing that being in the public eye is a mental battle some— if not, all of the time.
Pulling out of the parking space, I made my way onto the highway that was thankfully free of traffic. Deedra, Lani and I, decided to grab a late lunch. When I arrived at the restaurant I spotted Lani pulling up at the same exact time. "Hey little sis!" I made sure to lock my doors while walking over to Lani. "Oh my god, Lani! You look snatched!" I took this time to notice her significant weight loss.
Lani had always struggled with her self confidence because of her weight. However, she was looking like a new person who was now six sizes slimmer. "Thanks! I've been going to the gym with Eric on a regular basis." She shared. Eric is Lani's boyfriend and the two have been dating for roughly eight-months now. She had this new glow to her. A glow that Eric; somehow managed to give my baby sister.
"That's great Lani. I see that Eric makes you happy. He's a decent boy from what I've seen, so I'm happy that you're happy." I touched her bouncy curls as we walked through the entrance of the sushi restaurant. Of course, Deedra had already arrived and grabbed us a table.
"Well look who it is, late comer one and two." Deedra commented before standing to her feet to give Lani and myself hugs. "Girl bye. You been here what, all of five-minutes?" De'Lanice laughed. "Hm. I ordered drinks for y'all." Deedra pointed to the two raspberry lemonades. "My favorite!" Lani squealed in excitement.
"So, how are my nephew and niece?" Deedra looked over at me. I took a sip of my lemonade before responding, "Skylar is good. She's about to start cheerleading because that's what she says she wants to do. And Kaleb, well what isn't Kaleb trying to get into?" I paused, chuckling humorously. "Girl he's one. Leave my papa alone!" Lani chimed in, coming to her nephews defense. I playfully rolled my eyes.
"Cheer is definitely a good fit for Sky. She's always jumping and flipping around." Deedra stated which caused us to laugh because that was a hard fact. Lani cleared her throat after coming down from her laughter. "Have y'all met Darnell's new girlfriend?" She asked. "No, but I heard him say her name before." Deedra responded.
"So Darnell has a new girlfriend?" I looked at my sisters feeling slightly out the loop. "Don't feel bad Des." Lani looked at me, "They've only been together for a short time. I only know her because she's in two of my classes and I see her around." She informed. "Yeah. It probably won't even last." Deedra joked bitterly.
"Well what's her name? How does she look?" I was relying on Lani to fill me in since Darnell wasn't responding to any of our messages in the family group chat. De'Lanice retrieved her phone from her purse before going into her Instagram app. Moments later she handed me her phone and a photo of a beautiful girl with a dark-and-lovely skin tone displayed before my eyes.
"Her names Amara and she's a very bright girl." Lani was giving this girl her flowers. "She seems alright. Guess I'll just have to wait to meet her." I handed the phone back. I was glad Darnell had moved on; especially after how things ended between he and Jhade. However, a part of me felt distant and disconnected from my little bother and I couldn't help but wonder if that were my fault.
"Yeah, well, I guess everyone's jolly and in love. Can we move on now?" Deedra sounded a bit salty. "I thought you didn't care for relationships?" I grilled her from across the table. Something was off about her attitude; the sudden shift in her mood was now questionable. "I don't." Her shoulders went up then down, "But that doesn't mean I wanna constantly hear about other people's relationships. Don't get me wrong, I'm over the moon for all of you guys for having a partner that makes y'all feel like y'all are on cloud nine, but there's more important things to speak on."
There was a pause in the conversation at the table after Deedra spoke. An uncomfortable silence because both Lani and myself knew our sister was still hurting from her breakup with Brandon. She wouldn't go into detail about all that went on, but her emotions did enough talking.
"Anyone spoken to Ma?" Lani decided to change the topic. "I've washed my hands with that lady." I reminded— though neither Deedra or Lani took my words serious. Deedra always thought there was hope when it came to rebuilding our family after all of our mothers mistakes. I was tired of the failed attempts. "Des, that's our mother at the end of the day. Turning your back now... after all the mess we've been through?" Deedra questioned in disbelief.
"I bussed my ass making those monthly payments for mamas treatment— only for her to come home, lose the 'love of her life' then run back to Latrell and them drugs. I'm good off her. She never needed us and we sure as hell don't need her. She's screwed us over enough times Dee." My voice slightly cracking as I vented.
There was a ache in my heart while I thought about my mothers relapse. I felt devastated on the inside but offended on the outside. Trina had let her children down yet again. That's when I felt it afresh— the weight of everyone else's problems on my shoulders. I felt like that nineteen-year-old Destiny again.
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