Saturday
I wake up to a light tickling under my belly button. I reach down and grasp Tae's hand. A tired groan escapes him as he stretches out from behind me.
"You awake?" I turn over to face him.
"No, I'm still asleep" He gives a faint chuckle before slipping an arm under me and hoisting me on top of him. "Ah. Last night.." Tae pushed my sprawled hair out of the way and then wrapped his arms around my mid as he listened "Was so good".
I softly kissed his collarbone. "Mm. Can I tell you something?" Tae asked. I nodded. "Jiminie told me he ate you out. When he told me that I got a bit jealous". I peered up at Tae, not sure what to say but then he went on.
"But then I thought about it more. I realised that you are both special to me and it didn't bother me as much". His grip around my mid loosened and drifted down to grope my ass.
"It's true, I was helping Jimin study and one thing led to another... but Tae, I..." paused for a moment. What was I about to do... Should I tell him this? Would he still feel the same way if I confessed that it wasn't just Jimin...
Tae hummed questioningly as he waited to hear what I had to say. "You and Jimin have been there for me from day one. You both mean a lot to me, even putting it that way doesn't do it justice but, there's more... I need to tell you" I took a deep breath before going on. "Hobi Oppa and I went to a party one time together, one thing led to another and... we ended up sleeping together. We still do sometimes". I bit my lip anxiously as truths started to tumble out. For some reason now that I'd begun they just kept toppling out. "When Joonie Oppa and I first met there was feeling between us, but, with everything that was going on between us and Jimin, and Hobi Oppa, I didn't want to complicate or hurt anyone so we decided to keep things as friends..." Tae remained silent.
"No one knew about Hobi and me. But, Joonie found out and they fought. I felt like it was partly my fault..." I pushed aside the guilt that recalling the memories caused to surface and continued "The point is, I mean it when I say you're special to me. I tried to not complicate things but somehow it turned out like this... I just... want to be real with you about everything. I'm so scared you'll be angry at me. Or even worse, hurt but, I need you to know how it is".
The uncertainty I felt was overwhelming, I didn't dare look up at Tae. I held my breath, was he about to push me off him? Leave? Not talk to me again?
"You've been going through all that this entire time... And I had no idea. It must've been so hard..." I was stunned.
"You're not mad? Or hurt? Tae... I'm so sorry" How was he not more bothered than this?
"I'm more blown away that you had the courage to tell me. Did you tell Jiminie any of this?" He questioned.
"No... Do you think he'll hate me if I tell him?" Tae sighed. "I don't think he'll hate you, Jiminie is very observant. I have a feeling he might already know. He always talks about you, ya know. He likes you a lot so even if he did get mad I'm sure he'd get over it quickly". I rolled off Tae and onto my back beside him and stared at the ceiling.
"I dono... thinking about it hurts my head. When the times right I'll talk to him. If he doesn't bring it up then I won't either..." I concluded.
"Mm. Should we get up and have a shower?" Tae propped himself up and looked at me. "Yeah, I'm still sticky from last night" I replied.
"Wanna go together?" My cheeks heat at his suggestion. "Really?" I blurted, only to receive a cheeky grin. "Quick, get up" Tae shuffled out of bed so I quickly got up and went to the bathroom with him. I stood there feeling shy as he opened up the shower door and started fiddling with the faucet to get the water temperature right.
"Hm? What's wrong?" He glanced back at me.
"It's just, I've never showered with anyone before..." I admitted.
"Oh. Jiminie and I do all the time. Most of us do seeing as we only have one bathroom" he said plainly, as though I shouldn't be shocked by this information.
"Wait what?" I blurted. "Forget I said that. Anyway it's fine, come here" he allures. I shuffled a bit closer to Tae, he slowly lifted off my top and then tugged my shorts down. I stepped out of my shorts and was left standing there completely naked. Tae didn't seem awkward at all as he lifted off his shirt and slipped down his pants. He grabbed my hand and stepped into the shower, pulling me along with him. We were both pelted with water instantly.
"Omg, I can't believe we're doing this" I squealed at the shock of suddenly being drenched and naked with Tae. This must've been one of the most intimate things I'd ever done.
"Is this your soap? It smells like you" Tae pumped a handful of the cherry blossom scented soap into his hands and started lathering both of us in it. "Ahh, it tickles!" I squirmed as he shoved his hands under my armpits! "Stop squirming around" He laughed. I tried to stay still but as his hands slid further down to between my legs I clenched my thighs shut. "Jiaa. Stay still" Tae sucked in a sharp breath as he waited for me to relax.
"Okay, make it quick though it feels funny" I scrunched my nose in anticipation. His soap lathered hand slowly slid between my folds and as it did I could barely stay standing. It was the weirdest feeling, almost so good that it was unpleasant. A moment later he's done. He retracted his hand so I opened my eyes back up. "Good girl, now, time to wash it off. Go on" Tae pushed me directly under the stream of water! I quickly washed all the soap off my body then stepped back out.
"Your turn, arms up" I took some soap and started lathering it across his chest without any resistance from Tae, he just stood there smiling bemusedly as I did. Finally, I reached his nether area. It hung semi-erect and thick. Tae bit his lip slightly. It felt so slick as I took it in my hand. I did my best not to draw it out but watching him holding in groans was so tempting. After I was done Tae rinsed off, we got out and dried up then dressed. Tae had to practise today so he had to get going, I made him a lunch box before he left which he seemed happy about. We hugged goodbye and Tae went on his way. I was left feeling so love drunk I almost had to physically slap myself out of it but instead, I buried my face in a pillow and screamed.
What the actual hell just happened.
Is this real life? I can't...
After letting out some pent up exhilaration I managed to calm down. I had some coffee, went on a run then came home and made lunch. I had work tonight so I started getting ready to leave. I'd been so tangled up with Tae that I'd been completely distracted from thinking about tonight. As I did a bubble of anxiety surfaced. But, I needed to go and get back into it. Take it step by step and I'll be alright. When I arrived the floor was vibrant. Saturday night was always the most indulgent and high energy. I sat by Luna and chatted at the make-up table as our stylists did their thing. Soon after clients started to fill out the lounge and the night began.
Laughter and music filled the air, I was seated with a younger client who was playful and sweet. I always had fun when he came to drink with me, we played drinking games and joked a lot! I could feel myself getting more loose as the beverages flowing. I excused myself for a moment, leaving him with Rosè as I needed to use the toilet. As I pushed the door open to the bathroom I saw Cece standing at the basin fixing part of the bottom of her blue sparkly dress. "Jia. Hey. How's your night? You doing okay?" She stood up straight and came over when she noticed me.
"Yeah. I'm okay. Hey um, thanks for the other night. Seriously. I don't know how u always seem to be okay drinking so much, even for you..." I hadn't had the chance to talk with her yet seeing as it'd been so busy. "No, it's totally fine. That's..." she stopped for a second ran her hand through her hair. "Jia, can I tell you something?" She hesitated but it piqed my curiosity. "Yeah? What's up?" I tilted my head to the side. "Okay. I Uh, honestly I used to get so wasted all the time having to drink so much but, if you do a line or two of Coke it sobers you up".
"What? Really?"
"Yeah don't judge me I swear I don't do a lot, just when I feel like I'm getting too drunk I do a line or two and I'm fine"
"Shit, uh" I kinda just laughed, I had no idea what to say about that.
"You wanna try? I totally get if you don't and I respect that"
"Um... You know what, sure. I'm at the point where if I drink much more I'll be a mess so. If you say it works I'll give it a go".
"Okay, here, come into the cubicle" Cece grabbed my hand and pulled me in with her and locked the door. She pulled out a small bag of white powder from between her cleavage and gave it a flick. "That's it?" I watched as she opened the bag, held it pinched between two fingers then stuck her pinky nail in and dug some white powder out.
"Yeah, be careful not to breathe out and blow it everywhere. You just sniff it up but not all the way down your throat hole" she chuckled. "Okay, sounds easy enough" this entire situation seemed too trivial. Like, I'd imagined taking drugs was shadier but, in actuality, I was huddled up in a toilet with my friend while she was telling me not to sniff it down my throat hole. I watched as she stuck her nail slightly up her nose and snorted, she then pinched the bridge of her nose and sniffled a few more times.
"Phew. That hit the spot. Okay your turn, here" she held out the opened bag for me so I dipped my nail in and scooped some out. Luckily my nostril was already clear so, being careful not to breathe out I shoved it on my nose and sniffed. I felt a tingle on my nose and then my eyes got a little runny but for the most part I felt fine. "Nice, feel anything yet?" Cece questioned as she snipped the bag shut and put it back between her boobs.
"Ummm. Actually yeah, this is so weird, I feel soberer. And like, tingly." It was sort of hard trying to describe how I felt but overall it felt great. She wasn't lying when she said it would keep the effects of the alcohol at bay. I could feel the clarity more and more as the seconds passed.
"That's good, glad to hear it. Anyways, let's get back, if you need another one just come find me" Cece opened the stall door back up and we returned to our respective tables. I felt like my mind had been cleared entirely of the drunken muddle it usually was in, not to mention the confidence too. The night soon came to a finish. I felt my mood coming down more and going back to normal by the time I got home. I took off my make-up and winded down after a high energy night. Sleep came easy as I finally slipped into bed.