"𝚆𝚒𝚕𝚍 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚜 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚔, 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚋𝚞𝚛𝚗."
~~~
𝐒𝐚𝐠𝐞'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕
Rain
It falls endlessly, from the clouds above serving as the fruit of nature we humans can't help but take for granted. It pounded windows, fed our greenery, danced for seconds on our skin and created rainbows afterwards for us to admire.
Our new beginnings start with the rain we never want to fall.
The series of splashes from car tires passing over newly formed puddles, followed by a roar of thunder lighting the night sky disrupts my slumber. I twist and attempt to turn when my forehead collides with something rock hard.
"Sagie," a tiny voice I recognize as Bria speaks near my ear. My eyes flutter open, just in time to see a short shadow looming over me, then slowly close again due to my tired state and comfortable position. I don't remember falling asleep nor do I remember smelling like aftershave and cologne. Weird.
"S-Sagie." The voice trembles this time, fully awakening me.
"I'm up Bri, don't worry." I say as she nods while hugging her stuffed bunny at her side. Even in the dark I can tell she's upset or maybe just cranky that her dad still wasn't back.
I blink twice adjusting to the light of the TV beaming in my direction while squinting in the process. The time only reads 10:17pm meaning we still had some time before the lovebirds would be back.
My hair, now fully dried, is in its frizzy state for me to tame yet again. This was not supposed to be my wash day but as soon as I saw the come over message all common sense left my body, causing me to dress inaccurately for the weather.
Once fully aware of my surroundings I try to move.
Key word, try.
A firm grip is neatly wrapped around my waist holding me back from the edge of the sofa I was— we were laying on. I look down to see the hands covered in familiar ink and my heart almost leaps out of my chest at the sight.
Calm your tits Sage, you guys are just friends.
Is what I tell myself every second we're together. It's becoming exhausting trying to deny it to myself, to Vic... to him.
I hear a slight mumble resembling the words no and stay leave Zachs lips as he frowns in his sleep before I turn back around with a face probably beet red as a tomato.
"Why are you and Uncle Rhia sleeping together?" Bria questions loudly, making me cringe at her choice of words.
"No sweetie, we aren't s-sleeping together—I mean we are but-" I sigh deeply wondering why I was trying to explain myself to a child.
"Let's just go back to your room and we can play with every barbie you own," I say with an enthusiastic whisper.
"Without me? I'm hurt." A hoarse, deep voice lets out completely, catching me off guard. It's a perfect mixture of a morning voice laced with a raspiness that has me thinking things I definitely shouldn't. His tired eyes met mine for the first time and he looked at me like there was something in me worth looking at.
"We were going to let you sleep but-" I pause and look down at his hands still holding me down in place right below my now exposed stomach. A sour feeling begins to overwhelm me once I see exactly how much space I'm taking up and he must've seen my change of expression due to his reaction.
"Right," he clears his throat while letting go, and runs his free hand through his jet black hair that grew past his ears. He looks nervous and overall just off today, which had me questioning if coming over was a lapse in judgment or simply because he felt sorry for me.
As if nothing awkward just occurred between the both of us, he suddenly has Bria in his arms and they begin talking about whatever was bothering her. She never hesitated, cried or complained about what he was saying, telling me he was in fact good with kids. I mean why else would Miles allow him to babysit for long periods of time. It was touching watching the interaction between the two, I couldn't help but wonder how he would be with kids of his own.
"I'm going to grab a drink." I say, suddenly feeling my throat go dry. I get up and walk a few steps and turn around again to find his eyes already on me.
I feel my lips tug upwards as he quickly averts his gaze back to a yawning Bria and tickles her wide awake with a cheesy grin on his face.
I enter the small yet homey kitchen to find the window covered in droplets of rain. The gentle sound of water hitting the ground continues on despite it starting well over three hours ago. Instead of drinking my fourth water bottle of the day I turn to the fridge to find something different. According to my doctor I was low on sugar and it was more than okay to divulge in juice or a soda from time to time to stay at normal levels.
"It was okay" I kept repeating to myself.
I open the fridge door, before smiling at the dozens of baby pictures of Bria covering the door and scan it from top to bottom. I spotted a few energy drinks probably for Miles, yogurt pouches, leftover macaroni and cheese, eggs, milk and all the typical household food that belonged in a fridge. The juice was pushed to the back so I brought it upfront. The bottle is full and before taking off the top, I stupidly examine the nutrition facts label.
The numbers were high and easily resembled the ones on the scale.
So I put it back without a second thought.
I reach for the cup in the cabinet and just as the tips of my fingers grasp the glass, I feel a presence behind me. They loom over my shoulder completely until I'm trapped in one very still position. I feel the mood in the air shift entirely for all the wrong reasons.
"Got it," Zach finally says, breaking our mutual silence and I feel every bone in my body tense as he brings down the glass I was just reaching for around my body and in front me. My breathing falters for a second until I finally come back to reality. Despite us being touch and go for the past couple of weeks I still felt something constantly pulling us together, whether I liked it or not.
"Are we going to talk about it," I ask barely above a whisper.
His eyes flash with something I don't recognize because to us both it's a conversation we've been dreading to have.
Maybe he regrets it
"Don't. Don't do that." He shakes his head. "Stop thinking things for me. I see the look on your face and already know you're analyzing every possible way we could go wrong. That I don't want to talk about it or explain myself but I do. For god's sake it's the first thing I've wanted to talk about since you woke up in that hospital. I just don't think this is the time or place." He says all in one breath, not once breaking our extensive eye contact.
The cup I'm holding slips out of my hand and makes a thud noise on the counter at the same exact time keys jingle at the door.
Zach steps back as I continue to stare at where his hand was just positioned. He looks at me once more letting me know this conversation wasn't over before walking out.
I take a second to gather my thoughts before walking behind him to greet Miles.
"Daddy you're back!" Bria exclaims with a smile so bright you couldn't even tell she was upset just a while ago. She takes her tiny feet across the hall and to the door where I hear Miles and surprisingly Vic enter.
"And what are you still doing up at this hour?" Miles says in full parent mode until he realizes I was standing here. "Sage, I didn't know you were here either. I would never force you to stay with this fool for more than two hours." Miles jokes while giving me a side hug. His muscular build overpowers me and I snort at his comment while Zachs eyes fixate on Miles' hold over me.
"Well she isn't complaining so things must've gone well. A little too well I hope." Vic comes into view with a wicked grin and Bria glued to her side.
"Will you ever give up," I whisper yell just so she could hear. Miles and Zach were conversing a few steps back and I didn't want him thinking I only came here because Vic was playing matchmaker.
"Babe, I'm getting some, it's only right you join the party." Vic let spill louder than I would've liked, along with slurring a few of her words. Of course Miles brought her back drunk.
"Can you get any louder?" I groan while helping her stand still.
She giggles and I mentally curse myself for the response I'm about to receive. "Might have to ask Miles that one Sagie."
"What does that mean," Bria pauses her playing to ask.
"Don't you worry your pretty little head about it." I cover Brias' ears while giving Vic a look and guide her back to Miles and Zach as she proceeds to take her heel off in her wobbly state.
"Failed to mention my best friend was drunk." I say raising my brows. He grabs his daughter and settles her onto his lap where she and Zach begin to amuse each other.
"Yeah," he winced. "I told the bartender she was cut off for the night after glass four but then she proceeded to go behind the bar and make her own drinks. I had to learn that my girlfriend, god I can't believe I can finally say that." He pauses to smile which makes my heart swell for my best friend. "Anyway I found out Vic bartended for fun throughout her vacation in France last summer and of course she's amazing at it."
Vic has never told me that. The last time I've seen her with a drink is when her brother-
"I thought it was best I cure her hangover tomorrow morning instead of you." He adds to the conversation.
"You damn right you are. Make sure she's hydrated in case she decides to attend ballet classes tomorrow. Her parents don't particularly like it when she gets like this." I explain.
"You mean a drunk college student? She's fine and it's completely normal. Trust me Zach and I were no better." Miles replies but I know things he doesn't so I let the comment slide.
Zach doesn't seem to do the same as if a flashback to his freshmen year unleashed distasteful memories. He grumbles something underneath his breath as Miles slaps his back with a knowing laugh.
I ignore it and walk back to the end of the hall and turn the knob of Miles' room door. I enter hesitantly, not liking the idea of invading Miles' privacy, to see Vic passed out on the already unmade bed still in her Ivory satin dress. The room is far neater than I expected. Toys are huddled into a basket in the corner near a tidy closet. Boxing gloves rest on his night stand along with a picture of Bria when she was born. I turn my attention back to a snoring Vic and sigh deeply before grabbing a makeup wipe from my bag to clean her face down. Once I'm done she mutters a few incoherent words as I kiss her forehead and turn off the lights.
The things we do for the people we love
After a brief goodbye with Miles and Bria. I throw on my shoes and head for the door. Zach doesn't pay me any mind which hurts but doesn't surprise me in any way. He seemed to get like this when others were around. Closed off and free of any emotions that would reveal his happiness. His mood shifted a lot. And I mean so often it confuses the hell out of me. But I don't think he can control it. At times it looks like he's having an internal battle with himself on whether it was okay to smile, laugh or be upset. I wanted to tell him it was okay to react but Zachs walls are built and they're built stronger and taller than I've ever seen. Almost as if he already let someone in and got his heart broken before.
I close the door on my way out and immediately regret it once I realize it was still drizzling outside from earlier and like always had no ride.
I order the car service and attempt to stuff my already poofy hair inside this hoodie that now that I look at it up close, clearly isn't mine.
A tiny S letter followed by the number four was embroidered in orange across the back.
"You didn't say goodbye," a voice ripples through the pattering rain falling between us. No doubt Zach followed me out here whilst choosing to ignore me since they came back. I'm annoyed but furious more than anything. I didn't have time for whatever game he was playing.
"I didn't see a reason to," I finally speak with a confidence in my voice I didn't recognize. I look up to the sky to see the clouds have fully darkened by not only the time of day but because of the unfaltering weather.
"You're-
"Mad," I interrupted before he could finish his sentence."No, not mad at all, Zachariah." My voice drips in sarcasm I know he can detect. I finally turned around to see him still in his plain white tee holding my now dry hoodie in his hand. "Who," I pause trying to find the right words. "Who hurt you so bad that you can't even acknowledge what's happening between us?"
Zach blinks and just like that his face is no longer free of any emotion, which bothers me because around Vic and Miles it's the complete opposite and I know I can't be the one to change it. He has to want it on his own.
He takes a few minutes to respond as I wallow in this stillness. "I'm not-" he begins to speak. "I wasn't always like this if that's what you're thinking."
"It's the only thing I can think about," I admit shamefully.
I'm staring at him, examining every move he's about to make, every word that's going to leave his mouth and tell me exactly what I don't want to hear. But he remains silent much to my dismay.
"You can't even admit it," I rub a hand over my face, bothered.
"I don't have to admit what you already know," he answers, leaving no room for me to process. "The real question is are you going to push me away or are you done denying you feel exactly the same, Sage. You're scared. You need reassurance but I'm sorry if I haven't been clear enough. If you haven't noticed that I already fell for you."
With that last sentence the sound of thunder suddenly rips through the sky as more droplets of rain begin to fall. It starts off so little but accumulates that my hair begins to soak up every ounce of moisture, reverting it back to its curly form.
My eyes darted to him and I don't get to register the emotions building inside me. I feel my heart beating a million times per minute, unable to slow down at Zachs once over of my face, specifically at my lips.
"I'm not doing this today." I say firmly.
Where the hell is my uber? I needed to leave. Like now.
"You mentioned it in the kitchen earlier and all of a sudden it's we're not doing this today. Make up your mind Sage." If it wasn't for him being right I'd give him a piece of it. "You want the unwavering truth or me to lie to you for the rest of my life. You can't have it both ways." He tells me, voice strong and ready to argue.
"You know what I want?" I knew saying this would be the driving force in how this might end. But I didn't care. "I want you to be able to admit these things in public. I want you to stop shutting me out whenever we're around Vic and Miles. I want the side of you that you don't show anyone else. I want you to trust me even if it's about your sister." My voice cracks. "But most of all I want us to work and I want you to want it too." I confess, louder now that the rain was making a statement of itself.
"You think I don't want that?" He shoots back fiercely. His chest is rising rapidly along with his labored breaths.
"No, I know you don't. You can't even look at me." I yell back, furious.
The rain is refusing to stop making this situation more heightened than it needed to be. In a matter of seconds he's standing in front of me, disheveled and drenched in rain. His hair stuck to his face, lips carved due to his teeth constantly pulling it beneath them and staring straight into my soul.
"Believe me Sage, you have no idea what I want." I tilt my chin up to meet his unreadable expression. "Everyday it's like there's a fire inside me whenever I see you. It starts in the pit of my stomach and works its way to the middle of my chest. I can't make out proper sentences around you without repeating it in my mind to see if it makes enough sense. I tense at the mention of your name in the halls and people look at me weirdly because of it. I look at you and see a future I didn't think I'd be able to have. I even hate my own blood for what she's done to you." He finishes off as I freeze.
"You. I want you, Sage."
"Zach," I begin but I don't get to continue.
"You lit this fire in me and I'm burning every single time you look away. I'm burning thinking about the things I want to do to you, for you and with you." Zachs eyes flicker to my curved lips and back up to my eyes.
"I'm burning for you Sage." He peers down at me hoping for a response in my expression and my heart stills because he's no longer a blank wall looking back at me. His expression is sincere and meaningful enough for me to believe every word he says.
"So then act like it." I breathe out, with rain coating my eyelashes and falling around us, heavier than before.
Thunder rings through my ears and a lightning strikes right above us in deep purple jagged lines across the night sky.
Zachs head involuntarily leans down to match my height. I feel his warm breath fan against my neck making every single hair on it stand up. Butterflies that were there as he did my hair, returned with more of each other.
I'm too focused on the tattoos covering every inch of his body to think straight and his hand grabbing the base of my neck almost makes my mouth water.
"Can I?" His question makes me panic because I knew all too well the answer wouldn't be no.
His eyes darken as I nod.
"I'm going to need words, amore."
"You can." I trailed off as my heart beat a hundred miles per minute inside my chest.
All time seemed to slow as Zachs lips collided with mine.
It was nothing like I had expected. It wasn't rough or rushed like his attitude made him out to be. His lips are much softer than I imagined and they don't search for dominance like in the books. Instead we work together to make the feeling better for us both. My hands go around his neck and get tangled up in the dampness of his hair as Zach himself gently cups my face. Our mouths continue to move seamlessly between every breathless moan that follows. I feel one of his hands settle on the edge of my hip and crawl it's way up underneath his hoodie I wore where my skin was bare. His cold touch shocks me as we pull apart for the air we so desperately needed but didn't want.
Our foreheads collide as we try to control our ragged breaths. He moves the piece of hair covering my face behind my ears as he mutters the word beautiful. I blush underneath his unblinking stare as I go to pull apart.
"Wait, don't pull away...not yet." He says with desperation over lining his tone.
My eyes hesitantly flicker to his, afraid of what I might see. But there lies not a twinge of regret.
"Was that clear enough for you?" Zach softly asks with a hint of a smile. I think it's the first time he's directed one of those towards me and my heart immediately swells at the sight.
"Crystal." I whisper, swallowing the lump that's formed in my throat.
***
We sit in complete silence as Zach drives back to the dorms.
I try not to think of what this means for us but it's the only concern running back and forth in my mind.
He drives with one hand and I can see he's trying to figure out what to do with the other. One second it rests on the gear lever then back to the wheel and finally on his lap in a balled up fist.
I, myself, fiddle with my fingers in order to find something else to focus on. It starts off slow and unnoticeable until I start to peel away at my skin near my nail beds. Zach notices and brings his right hand to my lap where I slip my fingers between his. I trace the bold lines of his ink as we continue to drive in this horrendous weather but peaceful silence.
When the car finally comes to a halt none of us make an effort to move. Hand in hand I don't want to let go, afraid of how he's going to act on campus and around everyone. But I know it's a step we're going to have to take if we want to move forward and establish trust.
"I'll see you tomorrow." I say shyly before I open the car door myself. I put one foot out and push forward until Zach grabs my hand pulling me back down.
In a matter of seconds his lips capture mine for the second time today. This kiss is much different from the last. It's full of need, want and desire all in one. My lips part as his tongue forcefully enters, showing me something I'm definitely not used to. I've only been kissed twice and none of them even remotely compare to this. His hand flies to my chin tilting it upwards and controlling the movements of my head. Our lips move in sync, communicating on their own and I moan into the kiss as he grows impatient and moves to my collarbone and down my neck, feathering me in soft kisses that are bound to leave their mark. I let out a sound I didn't think I was capable of creating, which stops us in our tracks.
"Zach." I breathe out. Our ragged breaths dance in the silence and my attention turns towards the foggy windows.
"Don't." His eyes dart around my face. "Don't call me that...my name is Zachariah."
He wants me to use his full name.
"Okay," I agree.
My heart explodes at his confession. Maybe because I don't have to walk on eggshells around him anymore. For once everything doesn't feel awkward and out of place with us.
It just feels normal for the time being and I'm okay with that.
End of Chapter
It only took 29 chapters lol. What did we think of the rain kiss scene. I struggled to write this chapter but I'm 90% satisfied with it now.
Regarding updates I'm going to strive for every Saturday but if it doesn't go up on that night just know it will be out the next day or two. Usually when I'm not happy with what I've produced it will never be published.
Until next time. Love you and take care of yourself !!