"𝙰 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚜𝚗'𝚝 𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚕𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚒𝚗."
~~~
𝐙𝐚𝐜𝐡'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕
I hate parties
Every aspect of them that college students seemed to adore.
Sticky bodies too close for comfort, desperate frat boys looking for quick fuck and couples groping each other in the corner of a room as if they didn't have a pregnancy scare three weeks ago. It's played out. College is played out. So I have no idea why I'm standing besides Miles attempting to down his fifth shot of the night.
But there was nothing worse than being here knowing I haven't seen one particular face in almost four weeks.
And it's worse knowing I was to blame.
"Dude, get out of your head and have some fun." Miles said over the loud music as I took a step back from the busty blonde who clearly was trying to start something I had no interest in. She flipped me off before I knew it and was back on the dance floor eyeing another dude who looked just as drunk. I looked away without giving the interaction a second thought.
"We have two different ideas of fun Miles and that's your final drink. We both know how you get after just three of those." I say, as he downs another glass of some light brown liquid.
"Don't judge. Bria is talking about going on a play date with some Tyler boy. I deserve this drink."
I chuckle at his over protectiveness of Bria but I know even in his shoes, I'd be the same exact way.
I and scan the crowd once again in hopes of seeing a familiar face but there's no luck. Miles notices my stuck up more than usual composure today but doesn't say anything about it, which I'm eternally grateful for. It's probably why I let him drag me to this poor excuse of a party the basketball team decided to throw mid season. If it was one thing those guys were good at was throwing a party the whole school seemed to attend.
One month of stolen glances, tense group sessions, and awkward encounters kept me up at all types of ungodly hours. I could see her heart break a little more as I ignored her attempts to talk to me and I felt like a class act dick. So when she stopped trying I gave up...completely.
"So by the way you're drunk out of your ass I'm assuming Victoria won't be making an appearance tonight." I subtly say trying not to find out if she was coming or not.
Miles doubles down in a fit of laughter as he wraps his arm loosely around me and I immediately knew he saw right through me.
"You're seriously not trying to fool me, are you?" He smirks a little too smugly for my liking. I avert my eyes from him once again so he doesn't as much as see my flustered state.
"Alright, alright I will pretend like I don't know the real reason you're asking." He pats my back twice as I open my mouth to speak but shut them immediately. "Vic's coming but she's running late. I don't know if Sage is though. I haven't really seen her around much." He frowns slightly.
"Yeah, same." I clear my throat after the sentence while Miles gives me a look before grabbing another beer bottle which I instantly take and put in a random guy's hand.
"Hey, I wanted that." He shouted, swatting my hand. Sometimes I couldn't tell the difference between him and Bria.
"I'm going to grab you a water bottle. Don't move." I say, looking around as he ignores me and steps in the middle of the dance floor.
I make my way through the crowd of people and my towering figure instantly opens the room. This is my first appearance at a party in almost a year so it's a shock to most that I'm even here. The room is dark but colorful lights sprint through the walls and ceilings as loud music plays from the large speakers in the common area.
I managed to make my way back to the front of the house where I last saw the kitchen occupied with a group of girls taking jell-o shots.
"Thank you freaking god. Zach! Zach, over here." A familiar high pitched voice yelled from the door stopping me in my tracks. I couldn't see Victoria due to the two guys leaning on the door frame blocking my view entirely.
"You know this chick, Stone?" Jaxon, co captain of the basketball team, asked me, still blocking my view as I walked up behind them. Jaxon tried out for the football team freshman year but figured out quickly that this wasn't his type of sport. When he quit the guys gave him hell but throughout that we remained mutual throughout the whole situation and now he's one of Syracuse's star athletes.
"Yeah, let her in man."
I wasn't at liberty to be inviting others in, especially since this was a party for the ball team but getting Victoria in was my last option at figuring out how she was doing.
As I expected he started to move over when the dude standing beside him I didn't recognize interrupts.
"Pretty sure parties at capacity." He cocks his head to the side while waiting for my reaction. "You do know what means right?" I'm trying my best to maintain my composure but these days it's getting harder to, especially when I'm on edge about a certain person.
"And who the hell are you?"
"Mason and you." He replied, while extending his right hand forward.
I ignore the hand which he soon drops. "Vic's my plus one and you need to move out the way Jason."
"And if I don't." He says stepping closer to me. At this point people were starting to stare and causing a scene wasn't exactly on my agenda for tonight.
"Guys, guys, guys. What's all the commotion? We're at a party, not a pickup street fight." Carter says putting both arms on his teammates shoulders.
Of course Carter would be here, it's his house and he's fully sober like he is at all parties, which is supposed to be a relief but at the same time puts an unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach.
"Stone says she's his plus one."
"A freshman Stone.You definitely pick them well." Carter's gaze falls upon Vic and lingers on places free of clothing, which is pretty much anywhere her mini skirt and crop top isn't covering.
"Excuse me," Vic emphasized, crossing her arms. Her voice is more serious than playful and I can tell Carter definitely made her uncomfortable, which she refused to let him see a glimpse of.
"Vic, we should just leave if they won't let us in."
My eyes instantly shot to the fiery woman walking up the steps to the front door. With each step the dark green silk dress moves with the sway of her hips. The face I hadn't seen up close in almost a month is now in front of me, sparkling with light makeup and a hint of glitter.
Something about her was different. I couldn't pinpoint it out yet but I know I would soon enough.
Her golden red hair is slicked back into the neatest ponytail, allowing me to see every expression on her face once her eyes lock with mine.
"No, I'm Miles plus one and you're mine. But this idiot won't answer his phone." Vic argued back, refusing to leave.
"Sage, what a surprise." Carter removes his arms from the guys and opens the door wider, which makes me visible to them both. I can see Vic grimace slightly because Sage wasn't aware I was on the opposite end of the door.
"Chase, you're the host. I had no idea." She reveals, smiling brightly. He goes in for a hug and to my surprise she obliges. When she sees me watching the smile on her face drops slightly and go back to normal once she pulls away. I make no move to let my gaze wander from her face and down to the outfit that's driving me absolutely crazy.
"I was wondering when I would see you again." He says with a less predatory tone he had with Vic, which tells me only one thing. He likes her.
"Wow, where have my manners gone? Please come in. Your friend is welcome too." Jason, Mason, whatever his name was left as I gave him a satisfied stare and by the look on his face he wasn't too pleased with his teammate.
What was his deal anyway?
She nods, stepping in as Vic rolls her eyes at Carter then follows suit. As soon as she walked by me I caught a whiff of her perfume. It's subtle and not over the top like I expected but at the same time leaves me wanting more and knowing I can't have more hits me right in the chest. I want to explain why I haven't made a move to speak to her in the past month but I'm immediately stopped in my tracks.
Vic nods a stern no in my direction as Sage walks off into the distance, completely disregarding my presence. I didn't realize just how much the action would pain me until now.
"Is she-"
"Okay?" Vic answers for me, following with a deep long sigh. "She's getting by Zach. But I don't know if you could tell by the exaggerated makeup look and choice of outfit that she's not herself right now and I can't have you popping in and leaving whenever you feel like. It's not good for her— or you."
I look off into the distance where Sage stood in the corner pretending not to watch Vic and I speak and she quickly looks away, while fiddling with her signature locket necklace.
"I-I messed up." Victoria looks at me with a no shit look and I don't blame her. I'm confused, disappointed and angry at myself for feeling the way I do.
"I don't know what she told you about that night but the last thing I want to do is hurt her. I would never hurt any of my friends."
"Friends, really? You can lie to yourself all you want but don't try it with me."
I swallow regret along with my words at Victoria's confession
"I see the way she looks at you Zach and it's the first time I've seen her look at somebody like that." A few guys from the team walked past and I'm hoping they hadn't heard what was said.
"She was clinging to the idea that you might-"
"Heyyyy, look at my two favorite people." Miles stumbles into the hall with no coordination in sight.
"Shit, man. I forgot your water."
"It's fine, I'll get it for him after he explains missing my two dozen calls earlier." Victoria grabs Miles by his arm and he follows behind, clearly impressed by her authority.
They walk off into the distance as Miles wraps his arm around Vic and gives her head a sloppy kiss. By the sound of music bouncing off the walls and a restless crowd of drunk college students the party was now into full swing.
The smell of weed and tainted alcohol filled the air and memories of my freshman days came flowing back faster than I could remember.
"You're kidding," comes a sultry voice and intoxicating smell.
"Not the time, Alex." I sigh in defeat as she ignores me and walks over to where I'm standing.
I recognize the dress she's wearing because it's the one I bought her as a gift for tearing her the countless others as we fucked during these stupid parties. My intuition was telling me she knew I would be here.
"I haven't seen you at one of these in almost a year. I'm just shocked and wondering what's changed?" I look down to where she puts one of her hands on top of mine. "Cmon Zachariah you're not going to even look at me."
"It's Zach and you're right, I'm not." I say beginning to walk away.
"I'm worried about you and you're going to see that whore of a model who's playing you."
My calmness instantly disappears and while counting to ten has helped me in the past with women like Alexis testing me, it wasn't now. Alexis is pinned to the wall as of three seconds ago and her over injected lips pull up into a smirk I want gone.
"I liked it better when you did this in bed." She uses her free arm to rub circles on my back but the stiletto acrylics on her fingers are just irritating me even more.
"Don't ever call her a whore."
With that I begin to let her go but a stubborn hand pulling my face to hers stops me and she whispers soon after.
"My guess, she already thinks of you as one."
What the hell is she talking about? I pushed off of her body and looked to the side just in time to see Sages expression had fallen completely and the act was up. Shit, I thought she was with Vic and Miles.
"Sage." I rasp out gently.
"I-I'm sorry for interrupting." She mutters a slew of words that I can't hear while quickly walking away.
I don't give it a second thought as I rush towards her but it's no use because the mass of people in this house swallow her figure whole. I couldn't spot her anymore even if I tried.
I stalk back to where Alexis was standing as she coats her lips with her signature red lipstick with one hand while holding a pocket mirror in the other.
"That didn't end well I suppose."
"Drop the act Alexis. What do you want?"
Her eyes flicker to me with a glimmer of hope as she closes the mini mirror.
"Easy. You."
"I don't date. You of all people should know that."
"Really? Because it looks like you would date Winters in a heartbeat and I remember you could never stop talking about this Lena girl no matter how many times I begged you to stop. So who doesn't date again?"
While this information wasn't new to me I'm pretty sure I probably drunkenly told her about my first love a few times too many.
"I've moved on Alexis. You should too." I say walking away.
"You used me for a quick fuck Zachariah and I'll make sure to tell Sage not to make the same mistake." She yells behind me as a couple of partygoers stop to stare.
***
I finally find Victoria but she's accompanied by a snoring Miles who has her pinned to the chair. She slowly lifts his head, following both arms to sit up.
"Have you seen Sage?" I ask desperately.
"Yeah, she went to get some air. I think I'm going to take Miles home before the sitter calls. Can you take Sage home if I'm not back in time?"
"Yeah don't worry about it." I begin walking outside before Vic adds, "Please don't fuck up this time Zach."
I nod and continue my journey to what might be a moment of clarity we both need tonight. I just didn't know whether we would end things amicably or start something I've been dying to since the day I gave back those tickets.
I've been outside for twenty minutes now and there's no dark green dress in sight or a classic red hairdo I recognize to be Sages.
She probably called an uber. No, Vic said she hated getting in those things. Did she leave with them? No, Vic wanted me to fix things. She would tell me to butt off if Sage really wanted me to. I can't think of anything else and my hopes of smoothing things over tonight are diminishing by the second.
"Oof." I hear a thud then soon after a sound of light laughter coming from high ground. The balcony. When I look up, I see a hint of red hair flowing with the wind as Sage throws something white in her mouth and takes a chug from the beer bottle. On her right, sat countless others. Shit, was she drunk and getting high right now? I quickly text Victoria before rushing back into the house and up the stairs.
I opened every door in the hallway to find a room with a balcony and instead met with a few unhappy couples in the process.
The last door in the hall is the only one I haven't checked and to my inconvenience it's the only one locked. At least she was smart enough to lock the door while drunk at a party. I could think of so many ways this night could've gone sideways.
I grab my card out of my wallet and slide it through the side of the door, nudge it a couple times and in seconds the wooden door creaks open.
In the middle of the room was a matching bed set and family photos which seemed to resemble Carter in between two middle aged women. I snort at his prepubescent facial expressions and attempt to hide his smile as his mothers kiss his cheeks.
As if she felt a pair of eyes on her she glanced over her shoulder and immediately sighs looking back. "How'd you get in?"
"Old trick of mine." I leaned my body on the balcony door while watching her take in the scenery as I was taking in my very own.
"Why are you here Zach?" She interrupts, while holding her head.
What do I even say?
"Vic said I should take you home."
"Right." She drags out, "Let's go then." She picks up her purse and begins walking past me but I grab her arm, stopping her right in front of me. She looks up with wary eyes, mainly confused and I look into them and see the most beautiful pair I've ever laid eyes on.
I should tell her. I want to tell her. But she's drunk and this wasn't the time.
"Say it," she breathes out.
She shivered underneath the night sky and the jacket she had worn earlier was nowhere to be seen making her arms visible under my gaze. The dress straps barely stayed on as she kept tugging them back into place. I started to notice little things you wouldn't observe in the heat of a moment like this. Like the bracelet around her wrist that no longer fit snugly or the way her collarbone poked all the way out. I don't say anything knowing it's not my place but I make a mental note to talk to Victoria about it.
"What?"
"Say what you've really come to say. I mean you didn't want anything to do with me this past month and now you're here." She puts her arms in the air releasing all the pent up anger in her. All the anger I was causing. "You're here having the time of your life with— She pauses. "You know what, forget it. Tell Vic I don't need your ride or you or anyone else for that matter."
"I don't think that I will."
"Seriously, you're telling me no right now." She burst into a fit of laughter and I don't know whether she was an angry drunk or whether this conversation was sobering her up.
"You're drunk Sage and I'm not here with Alexis. Is that what you want to hear?"
"Maybe," it's a whisper but I hear it.
She gulps and takes a step back clutching her head. Was she hearing anything I was saying?
"You have to believe me."
"No Zach I'm not-"
"I'm not ignoring you on purpose. Fuck, you're all I think about and it's driving me insane. I had to step back because I can't control the things I do or say and everywhere I go, you're there. With Miles, at counseling, football practices and now this damn party I didn't even want to go to."
"Stop you can't-
"I can't what—say how I feel."
"No, I can't— breathe," she lets out desperately. I finally turn around and look into her eyes to see the only emotion behind them is fear. She grabs my arms almost instantly and in the same moment falls back onto me. A month ago an unexpected fall on me like that, she would've knocked me over.
Now she almost feels like nothing in my hands
"Hey, hey Sage baby." I attempt to shake her in my arms. "Can you hear me?"
I immediately call 911 and bring my arm around her neck in attempt to hold her head upright.
She doesn't respond and I check her pulse.
It isn't there
It feels like somebody ripped my already broken heart out of my chest without any warning. Fear, regret and sadness overwhelm me all at once. I can't think straight or distinguish if it's the flashing red lights blocking my vision or the unshed tears.
The possibility that she was going to die in my arms hit me like a truck.
No, she isn't.
Because I wasn't going through this again.
End of Chapter
I am so sorry about how late this chapter is. I miss interacting with you guys. Life just got in the way and my mental health has been fluctuating a lot lately. I want to produce quality chapters so please forgive me.
Next chapter will literally have everyone all in one room. Let's see how this plays out ( ;