SCRIPTURIENT REVIEWS | OPEN

By TheGemmeCommunity

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๐ˆ๐Ÿ ๐ฐ๐ž ๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฐ ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ฌ๐ž๐ฅ๐ฏ๐ž๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐š๐ฒ ๐š๐ฆ๐š๐ณ๐ž๐ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐š๐ฌ๐ญ๐จ๐ฎ๐ง๐๐ž๐ ๐š๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฏ๐ข... More

ยป WELCOME TO SCRIPTURIENT ยซ
ยป RULES & REGULATIONS ยซ
๏ฟฌ OUR TEAM๏ฟฌ
เผถ SILVER | AVAILABLE เผถ
เผถ ASNA | AVAILABLE เผถ
เผถ TIYA๏ธฑAVAILABLE เผถ
เผถ CARMI | AVAILABLE เผถ
เผถ SARA๏ธฑAVAILABLE เผถ
เผถ PHOEBE | CLOSED FOR CATCH UP เผถ
เผถ ZELIIE | CLOSED FOR CATCH UP เผถ
เผถ CASSIE | HIATUS เผถ
เผถ ALEX | CLOSED FOR CATCH UPเผถ
๏ฟฌ DELIVERIES ๏ฟฌ
โ„ GET OUT IF YOU CAN๏ธฑCHARLIE โ„
โ„ FORBIDDEN TERRITORIES๏ธฑSARA โ„
โ„ FIRE AND SILK๏ธฑNISHA โ„
โ„ BENEATH THE SURFACE๏ธฑNISHA โ„
โ„ INTO THE UNKOWN๏ธฑNISHA โ„
โ„ WHAT IF: A FANFIC๏ธฑCRAZY โ„
โ„ CHASING AFTER YOU๏ธฑNISHA โ„
โ„ BEHIND YOUR WALLS๏ธฑNISHA โ„
โ„ GOTHAN HILLS๏ธฑROVENA โ„
โ„ THE LOST MEDALLION๏ธฑCRAZY โ„
โ„ KASHIMA YADO๏ธฑNAT โ„
โ„ SHATTERED๏ธฑNISHA โ„
โ„ THE PEASANTS SOLDIER๏ธฑNISHA โ„
โ„ THE VENETIAN MYSTERIES | SARA โ„
โ„ BURNING DESIRE | SAHITI โ„
โ„ THALASSOPHILE | CRAZY โ„
โ„ IT'S OKAY TO DREAM๏ธฑNISHA โ„
โ„ THE UNBECOMING๏ธฑNISHA โ„
โ„ EINIA๏ธฑNISHA โ„
โ„ 7 DAYS & 7 REASONS๏ธฑNISHA โ„
โ„ DAY ONE LOVE๏ธฑNISHA โ„
โ„ FACETOPIA - A MYSTERY๏ธฑSAHITI โ„
โ„ HAVING 12 BROTHERS... | ARI โ„
โ„ FรˆE | CRAZY โ„
โ„ EPISTLE | SARA โ„
โ„ MY HEART WRITTEN OUT | SARA โ„
โ„ ALEXIA'S STORY | ARI โ„
โ„ THRONE OF DRAGONIX | RAVEN โ„
โ„ LOMBF | RAVEN โ„
โ„ RESTLESS | CRAZY โ„
โ„ HOLD MY HAND | ARI โ„
โ„ PINWHEEL | RAVEN โ„
โ„ BUY LOVE | RAVEN โ„
โ„ THAT ILLUSION | SAHITI โ„
โ„ PAID TO LOVE YOU | SAHITI โ„
โ„ SHADES OF PURPLE | SAHITI โ„
โ„ ATLANTIA | CASSIE โ„
โ„ THE IMPERFECT HABIBI | SAHITI โ„
โ„ THE LOST REVENGE | GWEN โ„
โ„ HEART OF FIRE | GWEN โ„
โ„ COMPLETING REVIEWERS PAYMENTS โ„
โ„ SIRIUS : SHORT STORIES . . . | CASSIE โ„
โ„ THE GUARDIAN'S GIFT | CRAZY โ„
โ„ STEMS : SHORT STORIES | SILVER โ„
โ„ SAILOR'S MOON | SILVER โ„
โ„ TO KILL A KING | SILVER โ„
โ„ THOSE UNSAID WORDS | SILVER โ„
โ„ THE GUNNER & THE FLORIST | SILVER โ„
โ„ HIS INCONVENIENT BRIDE | SAHITI โ„
โ„ MURDER RECIPES | SILVER โ„
โ„ HER SPY | SILVER โ„
โ„ CLARITY | SILVER โ„
โ„ KEEP | CASSIE โ„
โ„ BUMPER CARS | SILVER โ„
โ„ KEEP | SAHITI โ„
โ„ THE BLADES OF CHAOS | SILVER โ„
โ„ EVERYBODY LOVES J.B | SILVER โ„
โ„ PROBLEM WITH PAUSING | SILVER โ„
โ„ FEARLESS | SILVER โ„
โ„ LEOPARD'S CURSE | SILVER โ„
โ„ ROMANCE OF THE PORTALS | SAHITI โ„
โ„ SAME MISTAKE | SAHITI โ„
โ„ THE LAST METZLIAN | SILVER โ„
โ„ THE CLOSETED WALLFLOWER | SILVER โ„
โ„ OF MIST AND DEATH | SILVER โ„
โ„ MY LIFE : SURRENDERED | SILVER โ„
โ„ M.B.T.T.U | CASSIE โ„
โ„ ANGEL WINGS, IVY LEAVES | SILVER โ„
โ„ IT'S THE HATE THAT COUNTS | SILVER โ„
โ„ IT'S THE HATE THAT COUNTS | KAIDA โ„
โ„ LIVING IN THE SHADOWS | SILVER โ„
โ„ THE MIND OF A TIPSY TEENAGER | SILVER โ„
โ„ EVERMORE | CASSIE โ„
โ„ SCREAM | SILVER โ„
โ„ STARLIGHT | SILVER โ„
โ„ RETROUVAILLE | SILVER โ„
โ„ WAITING FOR YOU | SILVER โ„
โ„ RETURN OF THE PAST | SILVER โ„
โ„ THE BAD BOY NEXT DOOR | SILVER โ„
โ„ PERFECTLY UNEXPECTED |SAHITI โ„
โ„ A PORTRAIT DREAM | SILVER โ„
โ„ UNLOCK YOUR HIGHEST POTENTIAL | SILVER โ„
โ„ EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON | SILVER โ„
โ„ KING EDEN | SILVER โ„
โ„CELINE | CASSIE โ„
โ„REGRET OF A GIRL | SARA โ„
โ„ NO FAIRYTALE FOR US๏ธฑSARA โ„
โ„ BROKEN PROMISES | SARA โ„
โ„ GAME OF THE DEAD | SILVER โ„
โ„ THE PLAN | SARA โ„
โ„ VESPIAN EMERALDS [C.S] | SARA โ„
โ„ MORTAL LOVE | SILVER โ„
โ„ WHAT STAYS BEHIND | SILVER โ„
โ„ ZEPHYR| SARA โ„
โ„ ARRANGED MARRIAGE | SILVER โ„
โ„ FOUND YOU | SARA โ„
โ„ OCTOBER LEAVES | SARA โ„
โ„ SONGS BY ME | SARA โ„
โ„ MY THOUGHTS THAT FLOW | SARA โ„
โ„ THE AWAKENING OF DEATH'S HEIR | CASSIE โ„
โ„LOVE IN SILENCE | CASSIEโ„
โ„ HOMOSEXUALLY STRAIGHT | CASSIE โ„
โ„ TALE OF TWO | SAHITI โ„
โ„ CIRCUS OF LONGING | CASSIE โ„
โ„ BE MY DREAMCATCHER | CASSIE โ„
โ„ UNDERNEATH THE SURFACE | FARAHโ„
โ„ AROMATIC | FARAHโ„
โ„ HIDER OR SEEKER? | FARAH โ„
โ„ RENEWED BEGINNINGS | GWEN โ„
โ„ WHEN WORLDS CROSSED | GWEN โ„
โ„ BEHIND CLOSED DOORS | FARAH โ„
โ„ A STORY TOLD IN VERSE | ALEX โ„
โ„ CARNAL STORM | ALEX โ„
โ„ CHOICES | CASSIE โ„
โ„ THE GIRL IN THE MOUNTAIN HUT | CASSIE โ„
โ„ A FIGHTING CHANCE | ALEX โ„
โ„ DEMON HEART | GWEN โ„
โ„ CURRENTLY UNTITLED | PHOEBE โ„
โ„ STARS OF BUTTERFLY | VICTORIA โ„
โ„ THE WRAITH | ALEX โ„
โ„ FAUX HEARTS | VICTORIA โ„
โ„๏ธ BLOOD AND LOVE | VICTORIA โ„๏ธ
โ„๏ธ FRAGMENTED LIES | VICTORIA โ„๏ธ
โ„๏ธ THE KINGMAKER | VICTORIA โ„๏ธ
โ„๏ธ THE REBIRTH MOON | PHOEBE โ„๏ธ
โ„๏ธ GRIEF IS POWER | VICTORIA โ„๏ธ
โ„๏ธ YOU'RE MY ECSTASY | ALEX โ„๏ธ
โ„๏ธ LULLABY OF DEATH | ALEX โ„๏ธ
โ„๏ธ CHILDREN OF THE DARK DWELLING | ALEX โ„๏ธ
โ„๏ธ MY HOT FORBIDDEN NEIGHBOUR | ALEX โ„๏ธ
โ„ AUTUMN FINCH | PHOEBE โ„
โ„JOURNEY TO STRIKE FRIXSS | VERNE โ„
โ„ BOUNDLESS | ALEXโ„
โ„ FAUX HEARTS | ALEX โ„
โ„ GAIA | ALEX โ„
โ„ MYSTICAL WORDS | STARISโ„
โ„WHEN MORNING MEETS NIGHT | CARMIโ„
โ„ DEATH, CRIME & A ZODIAC SIGN| CARMI โ„
โ„ Raindrops On Her Winter Hair | STARIS โ„
โ„ AUTOBOT ACADEMY | CARMI โ„
โ„ UNDER HER BEAUTY | CASSIE โ„
โ„ THE GIRL WHO WAS AFRAID | SARA โ„
โ„ TILL SUNRISE | SARA โ„
โ„ THROUGH HER EYES | JO โ„
โ„ FEELSTORA | ZEELIE โ„
โ„๏ธ The Daydreamer's Club | ASNA โ„๏ธ
โ„ WHEN YOU SMILE | SILVER โ„
โ„๏ธ Creatures In Depth | SILVER โ„๏ธ
โ„๏ธ Fall Of Dragonesia | ASNA โ„๏ธ
โ„๏ธ Devils | SILVER โ„๏ธ
โ„๏ธ Mystery Of Crime | ASNA โ„๏ธ
โ„๏ธ The Art Of Remembering | SILVER โ„๏ธ
โ„๏ธ MAYAPURI - THE CITY OF DREAMS | ASNA โ„๏ธ
โ„๏ธ Ratneshwari | SILVER โ„๏ธ
โ„ G.U.D: RISE OF THE TRADE | SARA โ„

โ„ HAPPILY EVER AFTER | SILVER โ„

34 3 0
By TheGemmeCommunity

Reviewer: PeterPan2210
Reviewee: sarcasticoffeelover5
Story reviewed: Happily ever after is the sweetest con!
                                 _ _ _

                 Overall comments

The story was a good one. It's been time since I've read Disney's 'The Little Mermaid' modern retelling, so it was fantastic. But, as I've mentioned in the inline comments of your book, you have an issue with structuring, punctuation marks and vocab. Also, there's a few plot holes too. You seem to keep forgetting that your protagonist is paralyzed and use words like stomp, run etc. Try not to do that.
                                _ _ _

Cover:

9.5/10

Your username is barely visible on the cover. Increase font size.

Description:

10/10

Plot:

8/10

It was basically The Little Mermaid's original plot. But the execution was well done. So two points off for lack of distinct creativity, hope you understand.

Grammar + Punctuation:

6.5/10

You know why. Check the inline comments.

Structuring/Tone + Voice + Tense:

7.5/10

Structuring issue. Vocab issue. Check inline comments on your book for details.

Overall Score:

41.5/50

GoodJob.

Thank you for choosing me.

(There are no public reviews in this because this review was given over inline comments in the book itself. Kindly rate this review on a scale of 5)

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