As JJ left my driveway I took a deep breath before heading inside ready to face Rafe. I walked up the stairs and into my room, to see Rafe holding our favourite photo of me,Sarah and him sitting in the backyard. I was only 13 back then,Rafe being 15. It was one of the happiest days of our lives. And we didn't even protest when our moms forced us to take this picture. Our smiles were genuine.
"I love that picture of us," I said.
He looked at me and put the photo down.
"Y/N-"
"Look Rafe," I interrupted him before he could say anything.
"I am so sorry I left my phone, I should have told you before I left or at least informed Sarah."
"No Y/N, it's ok," he shrugged his head and squeezed his hands into his pockets.
I sighed in relief till he said.
"It doesn't matter anymore Y/N."
"What does that mean Rafe?" I muttered feeling a little hurt.
"It means you don't care about me Y/N." He looked so hurt when he said that.
I took a step towards him and said.
"What are you talking about Rafe. Of course I care about you. You-you are my best friend," I was trying not to let him see I was hurt.
"Am I though? Right now I just feel like I am this loser guy who just chases behind you all day like a guard dog," he said and wiped a tear from his eyes.
"Rafe," I said and went to hug him. He took a step back.
"No just don't Y/N, pls don't. You barely hung out me since summer started. Either it has been those Pogues or Sarah. The boneyard party has been the only time since we have been together."
"I don't need you to pretend you care about me anymore."
"Rafe," I grabbed his hands and said," you are one of the most important person in my life ok."
"I love you Rafe, you are my person and always will be."
"Just pls don't leave me," I cried and hugged him tightly afraid that he will slip away from me. I loved Rafe more than any other person but was I in love with him? That's a question I didn't know the answer of.
I pulled away and said," I am so sorry if I made you feel neglected in any way, I know no one will care for me the way you do."
"Pls just forgive me, I am so sorry."
Rafe looked at me with hooded eyes and sighed.
"You know I can't stay mad at you for long."
"Come here."
He then wrapped his arms around me tightly.
"I just want you to be careful around the Pogues ok."
"Yes Rafe," I looked up at him.
"I love you Y/N."
"I love you too Rafe."
He pulled away and said.
"I should go, have to be somewhere with dad tomorrow morning."
"Ok Umm I will text or call you."
He nodded his head and left.
"Bye Y/N."
"Bye Rafe."
Rafe's POV:
I entered Tannyhill after returning from Y/N's house and went to the kitchen to get some water. It was dark and I didn't bother switching the lights on. I opened the fridge and just then a figure appeared and said.
"Where were you?"
I flinched a little bit scared.
"Jesus Christ Sarah, don't sneak up on me like that."
She turned the lights on.
"Wheezie said you looked mad when you left."
"I just went to Y/N's," I leaned on the counter.
"Did you yell at her?"
"What no," I denied.
Sarah raised her eyebrows.
I rolled my eyes and said,"Maybe a little."
"But everything's fine now."
I was about to head into my room when Sarah said.
"So when you gonna tell her you are in love with her?"
I stopped my tracks and looked back at her pretending I am clueless.
"I have no idea what you are talking about Sarah."
"Oh pls Rafe,literally everyone knows you are in love with her even Wheezie,except Y/N."
I ran my fingers through my hair and said.
"Of course I am in love with her Sarah. How-how I can't be," it felt good to finally admit the truth to someone.
"But you don't know what it feels like to love someone who will never love you back."
Every single word I uttered was breaking my heart into pieces. I turned my face away because I didn't want her to think I was weak because I was crying.
"Rafe," Sarah sighed.
"It's ok Sarah, I kind of made my peace with it."
"I have been in love with her before I even realised what love is."
"And I can't imagine living without her.And you have no idea how much it hurts that I can't tell her I am in love with her, or show the world she's mine. I know I am not going to end up with her because she doesn't love me."
"So even if it means,being her best friend I will more than happy to do that."
"Rafe you don't know that,she might have feelings for you."
"No she doesn't Sarah, because she doesn't look at me the way I look at her. And I know she's slipping through my fingers and I-I have to let her go soon."
"Goodnight Sarah."
I walked away that night and into my room with a broken heart which only one person can fix. I laid in bed knowing sleep was not going to bless me with it's presence tonight.
Y/N'S POV:
Even the next morning,thoughts of Rafe were bothering me. Even though he probably forgave me,something was weird and different. I guess it had been for a while but I didn't pay too much heed to it.
I got ready for my "hangout" with JJ. I wore a floral blue dress,above my knees. Took my phone,wallet,keys and my sunglasses in my purse and headed off. As I got down, ready to go,my dad stopped me.
"Where are you going young lady?"
"To the beach dad."
"Have some breakfast before you leave honey," Mom said.
"No need mom, I will eat something later."
"Y/N, I am seeing no progress of making your summer useful," dad complained.
"Dad c'mon it's summer,summers aren't supposed to be useful," I whined.
"Robert let the girl go and have some fun."
"Thank you mom."
"Ok now bye."
I went to the garage to bring out my bicycle but I saw JJ waiting on his bike for me.
"Hey," I went to him.
"Hey," he put his phone away and gave me his signature smile.
"I thought we were going to meet at the beach together?"
"Yeah but then I thought,maybe we can go together, if that's what you want. And also I don't have your number."
I chuckled at him and told him to hand his phone to put in my number.
I got on the bike,put my helmet on as we rode to the beach.
JJ had bought a sheet to put over the sand and had bought a picnic box. Seeing that I laughed quietly to myself.
"What's funny?"
"Nothing, JJ," I shook my head and sat down beside him on the sheet.
"It's just that you don't look like the type of guy,who has a picnic box."
"Ok,first of all it's not my box, it's Pope's and second of all I am a surprising guy Y/N."
We both smiled at each other just looking into each other's eyes. He tucked behind my hair behind my ear which was flowing because of wind. I could again feel those stupid butterflies in my stomach again. I am pretty sure my palms were becoming sweaty.
I looked away and cleared my throat.
"So um, what did you bring in your "picnic box?" I quoted. He rolled his eyes at my comment and opened the box.
"So here we have beers,I bought strawberries,chips,chocolates from Heyward's.Look this is basically like my first date, I can't cook for shit and I literally had no idea what to bring,so I grabbed the first things I found."
"This is a date?" I asked nervously.
"I mean -I if only you want,it doesn't have to be if you don't want to," be nervously scratched the back of his neck.
"No," I said way too quickly.
"I-I."
"It's fine Y/N, I want this to be a date," he smiled at me and intertwined our hands. I moved closer to him and put my head on his shoulders. JJ and I had the wrong start, but I felt so safe with him. After a while I pulled away and said.
"I am kinda hungry."
"That is my favourite chocolate," I said pointing at the Lindt bar.
JJ smiled at me and brought out the beers for us and the chocolate.
That whole time on the beach, we talked everything about us. Starting from very embarrassing moments,favourite food,colour and so much more. How Pogue and Kook life is different. It was like we were in a bubble of our own,nothing else mattered.
"What's like your dream?" He asked me.
"My dream?" I questioned.
"Yeah, you know like be the princess of Kooklandia or something like that."
I punched his arms jokingly.
"Well I have never said this to anyone before because well no one asked. I wanna be a writer."
Wow,well that's actually unexpected."
"Kooks prefer to marry a rich guy,settle down have kids and attend a tea party."
"Well that's true. That's what my mom did," I chuckled.
"But I don't want to."
"I want to go to college, study literature,travel the world and write."
"So what's your dream Maybank?"I asked as I took a bite of the chocolate.
"I wanna be a surfer, I mean I already am but I want to be one of the best. For me surfing is just not an hobby, I wanna make a living out of it."
"Our dreams are really unique and different aren't they?" I asked.
"Yeah they really are."
"Now who wants to shotgun a beer?"
As we were in a race of shot gunning the beer,my phone rang. I picked it up to see it was Rafe, I excused myself to receive it.
"Hey Rafe."
"Hey Y/N."
"How's your thing with ward going?"
"It's boring but umm I will pull through."
I chuckled.
"What are you doing now?"
"Oh I Umm hanging out at the beach."
"With whom?" He interrogated.
"JJ."
"Oh," his voice faltered and there was a silence.
"Is everything ok Rafe?"
"Yeah,yeah I have to go, just take care of yourself Y/N."
"I will Rafe."
"Love you."
"I love you too Y/N."
I hung up the phone and went to JJ.
"Sorry about that."
"It's fine, as I was saying I am actually the fastest runner in OBX."
I scoffed," no way you are just boasting about yourself."
"I have seen 10 year olds run faster than you."
"Ok!" He stood.
"Wanna bet, who can run the fastest from here till there?" He pointed.
"You are on Maybank."
We both took positions.
"Ready set 1,2 -"before he could say 3, I started running at full speed.
"Hey that's cheating," JJ yelled and started running behind me.
But like JJ said, he was probably the fastest runner because before I could reach the water,he had wrapped his hands around me my waist and spun me around as I squealed.
"JJ Put me down."
"Not before you admit it," he held me midair.
"Admit what?"
"JJ Maybank is the fastest runner in OBX."
"Yeah, I am not admitting that,c'mon now let me go,"I struggled to break free.
"Nope,c'mon Y/N admit it," he started tickling me with one hand.
"Ok Ok fine."
"JJ Maybank is the fastest runner in Obx."
He finally put me down and I turned towards him.
"Happy?" I glared at him.
"You have no idea," he said and grabbed my waist to bring me closer.
On instinct I wrapped my arms around his neck. We both were lost in each other's eyes.It felt like a scene from a movie. The beach was pretty much empty except us,the sun was shining on the sea.the wind was blowing past us.JJ gulped and slowly raised his hand to caress my cheek. He gazed into my eyes for a look of approval,before he slowly started leaning in and so did I. The moment our lips touched,my stomach did a somersault.And those butterflies that I felt, probably started running around. My heart was beating so fast that I am pretty sure JJ could hear it too. As the kiss got more stronger and passionate, I started running my fingers through his hair and he pulled me closer than ever. After a while we slowly pulled away,not wanting to escalate it further.JJ put his forehead against mine and closed his eyes as he took slow breaths.
"That was something huh?" He teased.
"Yeah it really was," I smiled genuinely.
He took both of my hands and placed a kiss on each one of them making me blush. I have had sort of flings before or kissed some guys,but nothing felt like this.
He took my hand as we slowly walked back to our spot.
We spent the rest of the evening,my head on his shoulders,our hands intertwined as we watched the Sun fade into the sky.
________________________________
"Thanks for today JJ," I said as I got down from my bike and he walked me to the front porch.
"Thanks for coming," he said standing in front of me.
"I will see you soon."
"Yeah,bye JJ."
"Bye Y/N."
I turned around trying to find my key in my purse as he started walking back to his bike.
"Y/N!" JJ called me.
"Yeah?" I turned around.
He jogged quickly to the front porch again,grabbed my waist and again kissed me.His kisses were melting me. This time I pulled him closer. His fingers running through my hair.The kiss started out sweet,but it became deeper and stronger when I let his tongue glide across my lip and I let him explore my mouth. But when I heard my mom from the other side of the door, I pushed him away as fast as I could and he ran to his bike without another word,scared of getting his ass kicked by his boss.
"Y/N, what are you doing standing outside ?"
My face was flushed,my hair was a mess and probably my lips were swollen.
"Nothing mom, I was going to enter."
I pushed pass her and ran upstairs. I was still in shock that I kissed JJ, not once but twice. I screamed into my pillow from happiness. I was so excited I wanted to tell Sarah everything.
I changed into a pair of shorts and a T-shirt to go there. Just then my phone dinged.
"Hey sorry for running,I was scared your dad was going to kill me. It's JJ by the way."
I texted back.
"No it's chill, I mean I did push you away."
"So can I get a second date after today's date?" JJ texted.
"Hmm I think you can. But better bring my favourite chocolate for me."
"Of course my lady."
I chuckled at his texts.
"Goodnight J," I texted.
"Goodnight beautiful."
I sneaked out of my window as I went to the Cameron's. I knocked on Sarah's window and she immediately let me in.
"What's up bro?"
"So I went on a date."
"No way!" Sarah said.
"With who?"
"JJ."
"JJ?" She questioned with a frown on her face.
"The JJ who pulled a gun on Topper."
"Sarah," I sighed.
"He's not a bad guy, and for real Topper was drowning him."
"Yeah I guess," she was still unsure.
"But don't you think there's someone better out there for you?" She asked.
"Like who Sarah?"
"Every Kook is an asshole or a jerk. I don't want to date them."
"Not everyone," she muttered under her breath.
I sighed.
"Ok let's just forget this,where's Rafe?"
"Probably in his room,sleeping or playing games."
"I will be back," I said and got down from the bed and walked across the hallway to Rafe's room.
I knocked once.There was no answer. I knocked twice but still no answer. It was odd for Rafe to not answer when someone knocked. So I let myself in to see he was sleeping soundly. I sighed in relief. I was getting worried. I was about to leave the room,when something caught my eye. A packet of white powder on the night stand. Pls let it be not what I think it is. I slowly picked up the packer and just put my nose to sniff it very slowly.Ok that is definitely coke, I thought. Rafe was sleeping with his back towards me so I couldn't see his face.
"Rafe," I slowly nudged him to wake him up.
"Rafe," I called a little louder again. Rafe was not a heavy sleeper at all like me.
"Rafe," I called loudly this time and turned me. And the site had my stomach twist. His face was pale,sweat all over, his nose covered with the white substance.
"Rafe," I screamed and moved him trying to wake him up but it was of no use.
"SARAH," I started screaming.
I was sobbing so much as I held Rafe afraid of losing him.
"What's wrong?" She came running.
"Sar-Sarah, he's-he's not," I started choking on my words.
"Fuck," Sarah screamed and started calling Rose.
I shakily grabbed Rafe's phone and put his password which has been the same since 7th grade and called 911.
"911,what's your emergency?"
"My friend-he-he's not responding."
Sarah,Wheezie and Ross all came back along with Ward.
"Ma'am I need you to stay on call and tell me what's wrong with your friend, an ambulance will be there with you soon."
Sarah took the phone from me,seeing I was in shock to even talk.
Ward started pressing on Rafe's chest while I held his head.
"Wake up Rafe pls,wake up," I whispered.
The next few minutes were a blur as the paramedics came and grabbed Rafe away fast. I don't even remember how I reached the hospital, my mind had been so scared of losing him. I couldn't process anything else.
The doctor soon came out of the emergency ward.
"He's stable and awake. We just shifted him to a room,"the doctor said as we all sighed with relief.
"You found him just in time. It's a case of overdose and we would like if you could look at some rehabs for him-" the doctor's words started fading away from my mind. Rafe and overdose? How was that even possible? Somehow a big part of it felt like it was my fault?
"Y/N,Y/N," Sarah called me and I slipped back into reality.
"Huh?"
"Rafe's calling you."
"Oh,I um." I slowly got out of the chair. Scared to see him.
"It's ok Y/N," Wheezie encouraged me.
I smiled at her before my clammy hands opened the door slowly to see Rafe.
"Hey love," Rafe said groggily.
I ran to him and hugged him on the bed and started sobbing.
" I hate you,I hate you so much," I hit his chest continuously.
"Why Rafe? Why didn't you ever tell me?"
He wiped the tears at the corner of his eyes and said.
"I am so sorry Y/N for scaring you like this."
"What happened today Rafe?"
He leaned back before he answered.
"At the meeting today, dad he Umm tried to make me understand this business stuff and when I was having trouble understanding. He um he said I was just a college dropout, I was a nothing but a disappointment. The pressure Y/N, it-it got too much.This was my first time ever ok, I am not going to do this again."
"No Rafe,I am sorry. I am so sorry for being such a shitty friend. I needed to be there for you."
"Hey,hey," he grabbed my face.
"You have been always there for me. I know I acted like a jerk yesterday but no one cares for me as much as you do. You are my girl Y/N. Always will be," he kissed my forehead.
I hugged him one last time and left him alone to get some rest. I needed to give Ward a piece of my mind but not now. He has been treating Rafe shitty his entire life. And it almost killed him.
"Hey do you need a ride?" Sarah asked.
"No, thanks though," I said as she left.
I called the familiar number at 1 am.
"Hey it's me Y/N, JJ."
"Hey Y/N,is everything ok?"
"No umm I am so sorry for waking you up, can you pick me up from the figure 8 hospital?"
"Oh shit Y/N,are you ok?"
"Yeah,yeah I am fine. Just I need someone to talk to pls."
"Of course I will be there as soon as I can."
I hung up the phone and waited for JJ.