Nova's POV
"You can't keep avoiding me."
"Watch me."
"Fuck sake, Nova." I hear Grayson grumble behind me as I walk away from him.
Three days ago I found out about Grayson and Elizabeth. In those days it made me realize just how deep my feelings really go because when I found out he slept with her the day before he came and slept with me, I felt used. I always knew that he saw this just as a fling, which it was. I can't blame him for not feeling the same way, but it still hurts to know that's he doesn't.
Do I even have the right to be mad? We weren't together.
No matter how much I try to avoid him, with all this extra training going on I and Grayson have been joined to the hip. Trust me, I tried to change that but apparently, it's too crucial if we change partners now. So I've had to endure the way my heart aches whenever I'm near him. Everything with Grayson is messy and I just don't know what to do anymore.
I've tried denying my feelings and clearly, that did no good but confuse me even more and cause me to make some harsh decisions. I've tried to come to terms with the way I feel and then something happened and, again, I said some words I should apologize for. But now, my heart hurts so much I've decided to move on.
I can say it to myself.
I have feelings for Grayson Blackwell. And that's okay, I've seen what it's like to feel that way. Now it's over.
I'll start by apologizing to Grayson for the harsh words I've spat at him. I'll also apologize for lashing out at him when he was completely right, he saved my life that day and I need to thank him. Then our lives will go on as they did. We continue our partnership in a professional way. No sexual acts, no yelling or screaming. Certainly, no stabbing people.
Although, It did feel great to stab them.
The first day after the heartbreak was bearable. Grayson was too afraid to say anything that would get him stabbed again. The first day was peaceful, awkward, but peaceful.
"Nova-
"Grayson if you say one word to me at all today- i turn to him showing him my, 'don't test me' face. "I will stab you again."
His brows shoot up and he must be stupid because I can see the slight lift in his lips. But he doesn't laugh, he nods his head silently.
The first day was my favorite.
The second day was when things started to change, much to my dismay. Grayson thought that if he started talking to me about personal stuff, like all the stuff I wanted to know while I still had enough patients to be around him, then I would somehow fall for him and forgive him.
He was wrong.
"You once asked what the list of names was when we had our first mission."
I ignore him and continue to shine my daggers hoping it would intimidate him.
It didn't.
"Well, it was a list of all the people I've killed." I momentarily stop as I can't help but listen to his words. Why would he do that to himself? "My father called me something once and it forever stuck to me. I wanted him to be wrong but he wasn't, so I wrote down all the names of people I've killed to remind myself."
I so badly wanted to ask to remind himself of what? But I couldn't. I was too stubborn to ask. So I didn't.
"We have to train," I say just above a whisper as I walk past him. My skin lightly brushed against his making goosebumps travel across my skin.
The second day was a bitch.
When he first started this I felt upset. It hurt me when he said those things because I couldn't understand why he would torture himself like that. I hate his father, the things he's done not just to Grayson but to many other innocent people. He disgusts me.
"Listen up!" Alex yells making everyone stop what they are doing. Expect for Grayson who continues to wrap his hands. "Today I'm putting you on the field to see how well you can handle the next big one." I listen closely to what he says in fear I will look over at Grayson.
"Each of you will be out somewhere to look after something or someone. You will have to protect this with your life. If you fail, your off the team." Brown thick folders are handed out to everyone.
I take one and open it up.
Warren king.
Heir to king inc. Must be protected at all times, where ever the subject goes you must follow and ensure it is safe at all times.
If you fail, you will face savior consequences including torture and or death.
16 years old.
Male.
6,0.
Blue eyes.
Blond hair.
I stare at the folder in horror. No disgust. "You've got to be fucking kidding me," I mumble as hold the folder at a distance as if it will infect me.
"What is it?" Grayson comes up and behind me, looking down at the folder. His breaths fan's my head, the heat of his body warming mine. "Why the face?" His voice is deep as he stretches his arm out, allowing me to get a good look at his tattoos that I adore. He takes the folder which I practically throw at him.
"Look at it!" I point my finger at the details.
He looks over the details with a confused face. He peers up at me through his lashes as he flicks the papers. "I don't see it." He mummers.
"A sixteen-year-old!" I yell, my face showing how unhappy I am.
Grayson chuckles at me his eye lighting up when he does. "So?" He chuckles.
"So?" I mock him, frowning at him. "A spoilt teen. This is literally worse than being handed a crying baby." I shiver at the thought.
Grayson lets out a loud laugh throwing his head back. I glare up at him crossing my arms in annoyance. "Are you done?" I sneer. His laugh trails off as he looks back at me. We stare into each other's eyes, without even knowing my body inches closer to his. His hand hovers over my face his fingers running down from my temple all the way to my neck.
I clear my throat and step back from him a cold wind surrounds me as I do. He runs a hand through his hair. "We better get ready." I nod my head at his words and we begin to walk.
I will move on. Just, maybe not right now.
Grayson easily falls into step with me, our arms brushing against each other causing goosebumps to erupt on my skin and a shiver to run down my spine. "I'm sorry." I finally say.
Grayson looks down at me with an unreadable face, his green eyes light. "What for?" He looks back up, pushing his hair back.
I don't see why he doesn't just cut it if it continues to fall into his face every two minutes. "That day, you were right you saved me and I apologize for my yelling." I avoid his gaze and climb into the car.
"You don't have to apologize, Angel." Hearing the nickname makes my heart flutter in excitement.
"Still, you didn't deserve it. I'd also like to thank you." I clear my throat and buckle my seat belt.
"I haven't done a thing for you to thank me." He shakes his head staring deeply into my eyes.
I almost laugh at what he says. I'm always surprised by my feelings towards him, how strong they are. "You've done more than you think," I whisper with a smile.
He stares at me a little longer, his eyes raking over my face lasting longer on my lips before he pulls away starting the car. It's a comfortable silence as we begin our drive. The GPS takes us towards a boarding school which I am not looking forward to at all. Been there done that.
"I was thinking..." I begin.
"That's never good," Grayson smirks, his inked arm changing the gears.
I glare at him but decide to ignore him. "I was thinking, we could have a truce." I clamp my hands together in my lap.
Grayson furrows his brows turning a corner with one hand. "Why?" He asks.
"Because I've decided to move on. Keep this the way it should have been; professional." I keep my lips in a tight line.
Grayson snorts, "No." he chuckles darkly. I give him an irritated look.
"What do you mean 'no'? You can't just no me." I mutter.
"I just did. Your idea is stupid."
"It's not! This way we can focus on our relationship as partners. Nothing more."
"What if I want more?" He glances at me before turning his head back to the road. "Did it occur to you that perhaps I want more?"
I'm at a loss for words. Of course, it didn't occur to me besides the idea of Grayson wanting more sounded ridiculous. "No," I admit.
"Well I want more, you said you wanted in. Here it is. Are you still in?" He looks deeply into my eyes. My heart beats rapidly in my chest, my thought running ahead of me. I bite my lip in thought, this is so overwhelming.
One part of me is begging me to say yes. Screaming at me that this is what we wanted from the beginning, this is my way into Grayson's world. Perhaps the only way. Then there's a part of me, a dimmer part, reminding me that this would be down the road of more heartbreak and toxicity. Maybe one day I'll look back at this very moment and say,
'Nova, you stupid bitch.'
"But you fucked Elizabeth." I bitterly remind him, turning my head away from his.
"I'm sorry. I know there's no way taking it back and I wish I could, I wasn't thinking. I just got caught in the past and I was angry sh-
"Oh, well if you were angry, I guess that makes it okay."I shrug sarcastically.
"It's not an excuse. I'm just so used to ignoring my feelings and dealing with it through sex or violence." he sighs and from the corner of my eyes I see him glance at me. "I was going to tell you."
I turn my head towards him. "You were?" he nods his head. "it's still not okay, you hurt me," I whisper, looking down in embarrassment.
"I'm so sorry, angel." he sighs and turns towards the road. I watch him and let out a sigh, I haven't forgiven him but it doesn't mean I don't want to try with him.
"I would be lying if I said that I'm terrified. You hurt me more then anyone ever has. We might not have been together but you betrayed me." I bite my lip as my words stwllw between us.
"I'm sorry. I never meant to make you feel that way. You are right. I betrayed you and I'm sorry."
I look over at him and can't help but miss him the finest amount. "Yes. I want in." I whisper a nervous smile forming as I watch his body relax and his eyes lighten. He grins hiding his face away from me.
"Good." He says, his hand relaxing.
"But," I say, "No going back to how it was. I want to go slow. I...I can't have sec with you." I whisper feeling like he thinks I'm stupid for saying that.
"No. I understand, what ever you want we'll do. I won't mess this up again."
It's a shame that I don't believe him.
We pull up to the school in no time. I turn my nose up to the sight of the tall building. This ain't no school, it's a fucking castle. I roll my eyes at the thought of all kinds of shitheads in here.
"Never thought I'd be in hell again," I mumble as I open the door. My heeled foot lands on the smooth concrete. I use a hand to shield my face from the sun that shines on my face.
"Who needs a school this big?" Grayson mutters as he slides his sunglasses down his face.
I push my hair back, slamming the door and meeting Grayson at the front of the car. We both stare up at the tall building. It's a light brown with cream pillars at the top of the stairs that lead to the entrance.
"Rich snobby kids, that's who." I push myself off the car and begin to walk towards the entrance.
Realising Grayson isn't following me I look back with a raised brow. "You coming?" I ask. He lowers his shades his green eyes peering at me lustfully.
"Just admiring the way those shorts make your ass look." He likes his lip.
I stop and give him a dead pan look. "Seriously? You are not going ten feet near me or my ass."
"Yes. Sorry." He holds his hand up in surrender.
I let out a laugh as I open the door. Grayson's arm reaches out to grab my hand pulling me to a stop. "I'm sorry. Truly."b
"You better get used to saying that word" I tease. He opens his mouth to answer but he gets cut off by the shrill sound of the bell going off.
Grayson stands beside me as we watch the teens practically fall out of the classrooms. One by one they all stop and stare at the two people standing in black at the entrance. The hallway is completely silent as they gape at us. My eyes search the crowd for the child we're babysitting.
"Looks like we're stuck now." I groan, my hand hitting Grayson. He looks to where my finger is pointed and sees Warren king standing there with wide eyes as he connects eyes with us both.
"Wanna mess with them?" Grayson asks lowly. I look up at him as if he's crazy. He winks at me and begins to walk. We walk in perfect sync towards Warren. Teens spreading part like the Red Sea leading Warren standing in the middle; alone.
I hide the smirk as we stop in front of him. He gulps loudly looking towards Grayson then to me. He looks like he's about to piss his pants.
"Warren king?" Grayson asks even though he knows the answer. I think he just wants to scare him.
A pale Warren nods his head meekly. "Y-yes, sir." He stutters.
"We're here to kill you," I say bluntly with no emotion or expression. Warren pales even more and looks to Grayson who stares down at me with a glare that screams punishment.
Oh pity.
***
Do you think Nova forgave Grayson too easily?
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Stay beautiful.
Bella. Xx