- Ariana's POV -
Looking back at Ariana she looks genuinely scared and I said «i don't want to fight anymore. Seeing you in pain is killing me. We really need to talk, actually this time.»
She sighs and goes back to sit on her bed «i don't want to fight either. We really need to talk about everything»
He sits down across from me, looking me dead in the eye «Ariana. Whats going on with us? This isn't us. All this fighting, its just not us and I feel like we both know that»
«I wish I knew what was going on too. Its killing me slowly to be fighting with you, don't like that at all» I smile weekly looking down in my lap.
Reaching over to me he tilts my head back up so I was looking at him «i know this is hard and maybe uncomfortable to talk about Ariana, I know you that well. But we need to talk about everything. You understand that right?»
I nod slightly and he continues «now first of all. With ever bit of my body I trust you, and you know that. So you've got every right to be mad at me for what I said and how I handled it it was out of line. And I'm really sorry. Nathan I don't trust but I don't haft to, its irrelevant who the person is as long as I trust you. But I'm just trying to get you to understand where I'm coming from. You know I love you and you mean everything to me, so naturally I'm protective over you cause I'm not up to sharing»
Smiling at him I say «thank you. But I do respect that you don't want me around him and I can understand where you're coming from I do. And I don't plan on seeing him but I just don't want you to be mad when we run into each other in public I cant control that. Its kinda cute that you get jealous tho but you know I'm all yours as you're mine always.»
Leaning forward I give him a soft short kiss «mm I've missed that»
Sitting back I continue «now the pregnant thing. I just... its not a reality as I'm not pregnant. If I where we would have to work it out but I'm not in a point in my life where kids is really something I want right now. You know? Eventually yes I would like to have kids... kids with you but I'm just not there yet. I can understand why you where upset but I really just need to move on from it. Even tho Im not ready for kids when you think you are pregnant and get the message you're not it really hurts, its like a scar»
He moods slightly «I'm sorry again for acting out. And I understand now that its not something easy. Promise not to bug you about it again»
Maybe this talking thing isn't as bad as I feared it would be «Now Sean. I just... need to know. Do you see a future with me? Like not just being boyfriend & girlfriend like something more?»
A big smile grew wide on his face «i do see a future with you. Living together, marriage, kids all that. Thats not just something I'm saying really I do think we where meant to be... soul mates»
Wrapping my one arm around his neck I pull him close for a long loving kiss letting him know I feel the same way.
As things where starting to get heated I start to think. All my paranoia earlier was for nothing. I really gotta work on that as this is the man I love and I want to be with him for the rest of my life, thats just how it is. It may be scary knowing that you have found the love of your life but its something beautiful! Something to be celebrated.
We make out for a good half your just tongues dancing, touching each other everywhere having an intimate moment. A big part of me want to take it further to feel as much intimacy as possible but the other part of me was scared to death for another pregnancy scare or even actually ending up pregnant.
Sean pulls my shirt over my head and I flinch as he trows it to the side. I know he could feel me flinching and looking into my eyes the fear is written all over my face.
Kissing the top of my head he smiles weakly before reaching down to the floor grabbing his shirt that got taken off like 15 minutes ago and put it on me.
Confusion come over me as he does that without saying anything and lay down besides me wrapping his arm around my waist holding me close. Its like no words where needed he knows me well enough to know whats going on without needing to ask me. Obviously there is a lot of stuff he cant tell with just a look but this he clearly could.
Thats one of the many reasons I love him. The safety, security, comfort, in every way he always is there for me in every way.
But he is also a guy, and guys need sex don't they? It feels unfair not giving it to him, I feel selfish in an awful way. And its driving me insane.
Tracing my waist with his fingertips he turns me around, looking into my eyes he says «whats going trough that pretty head of yours. You're overthinking something»
«Its nothing.. I just feel bad that I'm not putting out to you because I'm scared... I just feel that you're going to... idk.. Resent me or something for withholding sex for now.»
I was going to say more but he smiles understandingly at me before he says «you just said it baby. You're scared. And if you're scared I'm not going to make you do anything you don't feel comfortable doing. Don't worry about me resenting you thats not going to happen. We can be intimate without having sex, at least until you're ready. And if that means one day, two days, week, month, year, years any time you're ready ill wait»
«Thank you. I love you more than you'll ever know» leaning forward I plant a soft lingering kiss on his lips
(A/N see what I did there? No? Yes? Regardless I just had to sry :/ )
« I love you too baby. So much!»
Turning around again I lean back into his warm n safe embrace knowing ill be safe here, I always will be safe with him.
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