CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
let me know
The dream members stand in their preferred place as they watch the older girl to finish packing her own things such as clothes, perfumes, jewelries and even the most simple thing that she owns she pack it up inside of a big maroon push bag. Sighing for the nth time Donghyuck have no choice left but to help the girl who moves like a robot and not even caring to speak up and tell them what is the real thing that keeps unfolding infront of their tired eyes.
One time they are all gathered up in the mansion's massive garden area while Jaemin grilled some pork and beef that sizzles making them all mouth water at the appetizing smell of it being cooked while the others play or swim in the swimming pool not that far from the food section, one time they are all gathered up in the living room with the members and her randomly screaming at the horror movie playing at the television screen while the other cover up their mouth or just bicker and hit a member despite of being injured.
Things like those unravel inside of Chenle's mansion that turned the always silent house into a home of seven young adults who are trying to survive in a jungle like world which you need to kill in order to not be killed or you need to kill in order to save the other person's life and future. It all happened in the span of six months but the real fun starts when the two connected soulmates finally fel inlove with each other and finally fix their relationship to be lovers who excited the single men.
But time really flies so fast and the time where they need to face their big time enemies finally comes and ends the blooming love of the two of their friends and they're watching it crumble right infront of their eyes where they also seen the once said love grew to a healthy relationship.
It is really heartbreaking to see something that grew infront of you automatically disappear when they really had a hard time making something they both deserve. Five souls are present in a extraordinary love story that they all watched like some cliché romance movie playing in the television screen but just like those movies every movies needs to come to an end and they can really feel that the end of the story is near and they're not yet ready to see the next few scene that will roll in the movie player.
“Meigui are you really sure about this? Why can't you two just try to fix it you know? just like the old times... it's not too late to fix your relationship we know that Renjun is wrong but for the sake of the relationship- no the friendship why can't you fix it?” the tanned male Donghyuck asks carefully testing the waters before completely dipping in the sensitive conversation that he is trying to build up with the broken girl who stopped momentarily and stared at the blue duvet infront of her.
Will they will be able to fix everything that is broken? sure thing they already saved their relationship a few times already just to save it from breaking but is it worth it? will it be worth it to fix something that is meant to be broken and not to be fixed anymore? will it be worth the pain to hold up the broken and pieces and put it all back together? shall they try again? She have a lot of questions unraveling inside of her head who pulsates headache that is going on for a good one hour already.
The ones always filled with butterflies now churn in agony as the girl wants to throw up all the problems that piled up in the middle of her throat that made it hard for her to speak nor utter a single word that will answer the tanned male's question. But how come can she answer his question when she herself have her own questions that she wants to ask and wants to be answered? Every single time that ticks in the clocks lefts questions up in her head that it might explode in any less of a minute.
With one last pile of clothes she squishes inside of the bag, she finally close the bag as if she just closed the book that contains their story and it left a loud pang in the girl's chest, she feels like cutting her heart open when her hand pulls the zipper to close the baggage then pulls it off the bed and let it stand infront of her. Heart racing she stare at the luggage infront of her while her mind keeps battling with her heart.
For some odd reasons her mind keeps telling her to stay despite of her heart wanting to leave the boy, at the very time her mind would tell her to leave the boy while her heart chooses to stay but it feels like they changed position.
“I think I should go now, Chenle would you mind driving me to Mi Casa?” Meigui asks completely controlling her voice inorder to not make the boys hear it quiver and breaks but her hoarse voice made it obvious that she cried or shouted too much that it damaged her honey like voice. Donghyuck's breath hitch upon the decision made by the older who impatiently waits for her little brother's answer not until the said boy nods hesitantly and sighs.
Every step that she take as she drags the luggage her left hand holds feels like battling with the time and herself as her mind keep reminding her the good times she spent not just with Renjun but also the time she happily spent with the dream gang members that accompany her specially in her first days and weeks in the mansion, they helped her to adjust in a new surroundings that is very different from what she used to be. Leaving Renjun means leaving the only friend group that she has and it pains her.
Her old self definitely craves for some friends attention since her deceased father stopped her from making friends that are out of their league and one time she finally found it on the warm comfort the six boys provided and willingly gave her as she stay at her brother's house. And she really feel complete everytime she is around with the men that also acted like her extra little brothers for that she is the oldest soul in the big house. And it felt like leaving a home of friends and comfort.
Breath hitching as she reached the ground floor her eye immediately falls in the kneeling figure of her soulmate who still cries just like earlier, the boy slowly raise up his head just to weaken the girl who grip Jeno's arm for support as she feels like her knees weakens and she'll unable to stand up properly. His eyes are glossy and bloodshot, ears and cheeks red, hair disheveled and going in any possible ways he kneel down in the cold floor looking like a defenseless mess.
Her grip on the latter's arm tighten as the boy's tears starts to fall down his cheek “Are you really sure about this? I'm going to escort you to the car since it looks like you can't walk properly” Jeno softly asks as the older girl hesitantly nods and take a one step forward that surprises the Chinese who is kneeling down he immediately stands up and marches towards his soulmate's direction who just walk fastly while Jeno help her walk away from him.
Renjun forcefully pulls Meigui away from the bulky younger who immediately escorted the older girl to stand up by placing his hands in his back that didn't left Renjun's sharp eyes yet he didn't care and put his hands in his soulmate's shoulder to make her look at only him. The boy uses his other hand to wipe away the uncontrollable falling tears away from his reddened cheek and hesitantly opened his mouth to speak up but closes it as words can't form in his mouth.
“Mei. Let me know. Although I already know everything is over
although you're over me tell me something, I just want to know my lingering feelings are trying to withstand the end so please tell me something- Did I love you too much? you will take away my stars at night, my sun at day only leaving me with the darkness of a single cold cloud I am standing here alone now tell me that it's over, let me know if there are hellos then there's bound to be goodbyes?” Renjun asks despite of his voice breaking at every word that slips off his lips, he pick his words carefully not wanting to break more.
“You already know it then Renjun... we're over- or is there even the word 'us'? you wanted to know something you already know and it's plain stupid! Is it wrong to take away the stars and sun I made for you because I don't have anything left in me- is it selfish? I already told you that you're not alone- that you have me but why did you make me feel betrayed no. why did you betrayed me?” the girl ask back to the younger who casually bite his lips and chew on it to relief some pent up stress and to calm down his insides that are afraid for Meigui to leave him alone.
“I didn't betrayed you Meigui- I betrayed myself for making me set up a plan to make fall in love with me without knowing that I'll just push myself further on loving you and it already happened I love you with all of my heart why don't you believe me?” the boy asks as he comes closer to try to hug the girl but she just end up pushing him away that he stumbles from where he is standing.
“Maybe we're all just a bunch of fools everyone lives with a love that has come to an end- it's not that I don't have feelings for you I just know we can't work out but why does it feel like I'm having indigestion? as if my insides will explode- cries come up my throat making me throw up! in my imagination, I fight with you- make love with you and understand you! your hand gestures, your eyes they are faded but not gone why won't it go away?!” finally the tears spurts out of the girl's dried eyes and wets her cheeks again.
With that the girl gather up all her left out courage to step back and turn her back from the boy she truly loves even though it hurts her and it feels like torturing her own heart by stepping on it shamelessly and hardly until it falls into pieces and suddenly turn to ashes. The boy hugs her from behind just like before but it just feels like his warmth is slowly disappearing- he feels like he is not even hugging her anymore- she feels so numb and dumb.
“
When we’re apart, you know we’ll be broken... only your scent completes me hurry and hug me I can only see you alone now I can’t live a day without you so please hold me tight! hug me- can you trust me? hold me once again so I can feel you, without you I can’t breathe I’m nothing without you- if there’s a chance I’ll catch you I’m ready to be cut by your rose-like embrace as I hold you again” Renjun begged from behind as he says those words with his hoarse and unclear voice he delivers it well to her broken heart.
“Renjun-”
“Your cold face tells me everything rather than words like a high tide I know it will soon be our last but I can’t let you go but if you want me to let go then I will, just don’t talk anymore just quietly hold me girl for the... last time please?” with one last begging the girl finally give in and let herself catch the shaking boy then hug him tightly just like the first time but unlikely now it needs to be their last time to hold each other like this, peace and quiet just like when they're in the cliff.
“My feelings for you they're so many to let go I'll unpuzzle my lego at a level where it can’t return to its original shape but so be it don’t cry let me go and fly. We can’t return to those days If I just could I’d call your name. Life without you will be really unbelievable but even so I still gotta go- I loved you too much that the red thread got entangled in itself for that reason I’ll say goodbye” Meigui tried her best to explain all the things in her head to the boy who cry to hard in the crook of her neck sniffling her scent he loves.
Something pops up in the latter's mind and he know that this time that sudden plan that made up in his head will benefit the both of them and it'll help them heal each other completely even though it's kinda hard he knows that it'll be worth it for the both of them. He slowly pulls out and hold the girl's hand in between of his and kiss it then peck a small kiss in her firm lips.
“The color of the sky we saw together, the scent of the path we walked down together don’t forget them. At first every day is like there will be tears hidden in the rain I’ll wait for you, let’s start over by healing ourselves alone so that in the future I can meet you again with a smile hmm? In order to release your hand right now I gotta let you know that I need to let you go hard to say goodbye but I’m ready to let you go” Renjun says now calmly as he stares right deeply in her soul who slightly shines and her lips tug up in a small sweet smile and nod.
Meigui's hand flew to Renjun's head and pull the boy for a kiss that goes on hard and rough to a sweet delicate slow one as if they're savoring this kiss before they take a long time to pull away and both of them giggle as they lock eyes. And as if in the most unbelievable way red and gold sparkles bursts in the thin air and falls down on them as the boys stare in awe.
Pecking for one last time, Renjun get the laying luggage on the floor and hold it tightly in his left hand as his right arm escorts the love of his life to the big double doors and towards the car. He put the bag at the back of the car as Meigui seats in the shotgun seat and Chenle in the driver's seat the car door finally close and they finally separated. Wheels screeching against the road her head slowly whip back to see her soulmate standing in the middle of the door with the dreamies comforting him.
This finally marks the ending of their love story but who knows if they'll meet again someday and write another story that maybe finally leads into a happy ending. What's important is that they'll learn how to leave despite of the pull of the red string and how they can heal themselves.
on to the next ride, my love.
FIN.
yo! we finally made it in the end! who would know that I can really finish a book since I kept pulling them out or delete them on Wattpad but look where we are now we're on the last chapter [sniffs] i really love writing this book since the reads that keeps going up, votes and specially the funny and relieving comments pushes and motivates me to finish something I started when I had some swelder thoughts. btw this is the longest chap I made with 2500+ words.
anygæs that's the wrap up for GUNS & ROSES. thank you and ily all <33.