Stefani's POV
I couldn't see- physically, I can see perfectly fine but my judgment on the other hand is clouded.
"Stef-
"Not now," I sighed frustratedly. I know I'm beyond pissed with the entire house.
I hate it.
I hate my house.
I hate how the very furniture my biological mother made memories with me in my childhood no longer looks the same. I hate how my father copes with the loss of his first wife- also known as my mother. I hate how he hasn't learned his lesson. I hate how he's dragging Lillian down with him. I hate how I'm not allowed to miss my mom. I hate how Lillian thinks a simple conversation is going to fix how I feel.
Nothing can fix this feeling, I've always felt like this. Today was just its boiling point.
Nothing looks right.
Nothing feels right.
The world is dull and colors never looked the same the day I found out my mother had committed suicide.
I don't want to talk.
Not then, and sure as hell not now.
"Stefani, I-
"WHAT?! WHAT THE FUCK IS IT RACHEL?!" I started having a major melt down in the passenger seat and Rachel was terrified to even speak but here she is.
"Do you really think moving out is the best answer?" She asked me again and my thoughts clicked.
"No, but I do know what can keep me away from these two love birds at a reasonable distance... college," I felt my vision coming together.
"I thought school wasn't really your thing, you don't even know what to major in," Rachel reminded me.
"Business law and finance. I'm applying for college and using the knowledge i gain to expand my business," I'm feeling a sense of direction.
"As valid as this sounds, I still think you should think twice about this. You're not the type to just act on things so impulsively," I keep being nagged.
She's right.
Ever since Lillian has been present, I've been impulsive here and there.
No more.
This is not an impulse.
It's not.
"No im doing this, and they can't get mad at me for choosing school. At this rate, I'll be away from home 24/7 because I have to study and actually learn shit so my business benefits. Rachel, this is perfect. Hell, I can get a dorm and live by myself... I'll pay extra to make it possible," I could see things molding.
Me going to college is the solution. It's the perfect benefitting excuse to stay the hell away from these people.
Plus it's better than me not knowing where to put my money. Better to put it into my education instead of clothing and weed...
Weed.
"Wanna go smoke?" I changed the subject.
"The most sensible thing you've said all day. I'll call the plug to come to my place," Rachel took a U turn and started heading to her house.
"Don't get it twisted, I'm still going to college. I have a dynasty to run and people to rake over the coals and a dead mother to make proud. Rachel, I'm on a journey," I felt centered.
Ugh- she's calling...
"Rachel, start the car, I'll pay the gas. We'll have to reschedule this smoke sesh for a later day," I sighed and I was actually sad I couldn't smoke this one off.
"What about tomorrow?" She placed a gentle hand on my shoulder and takes a finger to lift my head up... the fact she makes sure my head is held high..
"Perfect," I stared out the window.
Lillian's POV
"Pick up!" I yelled in an empty home out of frustration.
Shit!
I just want to talk to her.
I didn't know she'd get in any trouble- that's her mom for crying out loud. I honestly think Kent took it the wrong way.
He can fix this.
I didn't do anything- except snooped... and forget to cover my tracks... and then Stefani got caught by Kent because I didn't cover my tracks.. and- okay, this is practically my fault BUT I'm going to make this right.
The door swings open and shuts in a matter of seconds.
"Kent, you better have called off work for a family-
"Mm..." Stefani took a half ass glance in my direction but didn't even acknowledge me as she kicks off her sandals and ties her hair back into a low ponytail to cool down.
"Stefani!" I rushed towards her. I was so glad she came back home. I wouldn't know what the hell to do if she didn't.
Stefani still didn't look at me and instead walked completely around the opposite end of the kitchen counter to avoid me.
"Don't run from me, I was worried about you," I growled lowly and pulled her into a tight hug.
She fought my embrace and squirmed until she eventually just stood there for a brief second. Stefani scared the daylights out of me. I could feel tears welling up. The young girl just misses her mother. I know I can't compare, but I know now that her mother is a major soft spot for Stefani.
"Please..." I begged and my voice shuddered shakily.
I could feel her body slowly and cautiously giving into my comfort.
"STOP!" Stefani's cracked and she shoved me off of her and she stormed off-
and shut the door in her room......
....and locked it....
I saw it that time, the pain. Her eyes sparkled with so much hurt..
She's conflicted and I don't blame her. She doesn't have anyone to talk to and fully open up to. Rachel may be her only friend but after my time with Stefani, she wouldn't pour her entire out to her only friend. She's the type to only say enough and keep the rest to herself.. it's eating her up. I just thought a hug would be a good welcome after the hectic morning she's had. I doubt she got any rest or plans to get any rest after today.