Sades pov.
I starred up at the roof tangled in the sheets . Jax fell asleep after abot an hour of talking and three hours making love . I got up and put on my clothes I went to Jax and kissed his cheek .
"Tell we meet again Teller" I whispered in his ear lightly before grabbing my stuff and going to wake up Remington .
My phone began ringing i jumped and turned it on silent before answering . "Hello" my voice was soft and below a whisper . "Hey cousin I just wanted to say I can't wait to see you because you've already got your first job" .
I rolled my eyes are times where diffrent and he abioulsy forgot about that . "Well it looks like in coming early" although I couldn't see it I could tell he was smiling . "Ok cuz I live you but I need to go" . I smiled "love you to" . Then the phone call was over .
This is not the life I promised Remington we are the same age but I try to keep him safe just like he dose for me to . I decided to leave on my own he needs to settle down and be happy but my happiness was gone the second William died and Jax made the choice of not wanting me as I want him .
I want to do the impossible hell I want to be the impossible without having to worry about Remi getting hurt . I went to the kitchen pulling out a few papers and a pen .
Dear Jaxon
I know that Tara died and I know you love her so I can't be with you because you love Tara more than anything and don't feel as I feel for you . Its ok though I've learned that I want to do something other than waiting to be a mommy and house wife because thats not who I am I live kids but im not good with them and I sure as hell ain't going to slave around a house I'm going to be my own person . Whether its going to do the impossible or becoming the impossible . I did one of the worst things when I got in bed with you truth be told I honestly liked it I wanted to stay there with you forever but everything I touched seems to die you won't be one if those neither will your boys and Remington . Learning about you was exciting knowing you was beyond exciting and leaving you is just pain it was nice knowing you Teller may we meet again .
Hugs and kisses Sades
Dear Able and Thomas
So I don't know if you will remember me but I will always remember you . I'm sorry I had to go because you gave me the closet I shall ever come to kids i don't know how you will feel about me leaving but its for the better . Be strong and brave like I know you to be . Whether this is torn up before you get to see it or still here just know I love you with all my heart .
Hugs and kisses Sades
Dear big brother
I'm stupid I know but if it means protecting you then I shall stay stupid . You once asked me what was the worst moment I said something stupid like dropping my hotdogs at the fair noted we where twelve but if I knew this moment was coming I think it would beat it . Are entire life has been hell but we went through it together . Now we must split and start a life you will find someone good for you and I will do something good for me anyways you seemed to really like the club so I figured maby you could go to it be apart of it anyways I love you always and be with you forever but to every always and every forever there is an end and this is ours .
Hugs and kisses Sades
I laid the notes on the counter before grabbing my keys and going to the car . I walked letting a few tears leave my cheeks . "Shit" I said forgetting my wallet I walked back inside going to Jaxs room . He laid there sleeping so peacefully . I wish I could be as peaceful as he was in that moment .
I sat at the end of the bed looking at the floor . I felt like throwing up crying always made me sick . Ugh I hate it I closed my eyes for a moment to think . My thought where in a rampage constantly trying to get to me .
Nasty slut you shouldn't of slept with him he was drunk and you took advantage . One part of my thought where giving me the worst . Oh shut up he loves her you can tell they had a whole conversation they basically know eachothers storys . The other part was like a lawyer I was like the person on trial and I had a lawyer and the person who wants to take me down .
This is why I have panic attacks because I belive the person who constantly tries to take me down . It wins most of the time I can win at times I don't know its just I need someone to talk to but me and Remington haven't really spoken so I can't talk to him . I opened my eyes and realized the floor was covered in water . I wiped my tears before getting my wallet Jax began to stir so I rushed out of the door . I had a bad feeling before stepping outside like something was going to oahppen that I needed to go back but I brushed it off doing the thing my mind dreaded .
My foot stepped outside and the door shut before I felt hand around my mouth and arms pulling me away from the door . A voice manly tough and someone who was craving hunger whispered im ny ear . "Don't worry sweetheart you will be just fine unless you scream ive got guns and I will kill those boys" .
I was in tears and shaking so I just nodded and stopped fighting against him as he took me to the car my car and throwing me in the backseat before getting in . He smiled locking the doors and punching me a few times before I fell unconscious . Shit this was it I was going to be rapped again and die this awful man was going to kill me but I deserved it I deserved going to hell and worse after all I done but what was going to happen next I had a feeling it wasn't my end it was my beginning .
Hey guys where back I think I have better story lines I hope please VOTE I love you xoxo kenzie 😘❤