A soft light danced through the window, trickling through the usually closed black out curtains that Hotch was surprised to see still open when he opened his eyes to his bedroom- a small yawn escaping his lips and a warmth entering his chest when he thought about the night before.
A wonderful blur of intimacy and endearment mixed with passion and feverous lust all tied together with an overwhelming amount of care.
It felt like a dream- so much so that Hotch found himself wondering if it was and had to look besides him to make sure it wasn't.
He smiled when he saw Cameron there- smiling even more at the fact she was awake and seemed to be watching him by how quickly she blushed and closed her eyes, pretending to be asleep.
"Good morning" he chuckled, causing her to open one eye before pretending to yawn.
"Good morning."
"And how long have you been awake?" He prompted knowingly with an amused smile.
"W-what? I've not- I just woken up-" she tried to lie but his laugh cut her off and made her smile, the kind of smile that made his heart ache with how bright it was.
"Did you have a nice sleep?" He turned fully to her, resting his head on the pillow as hers led on his arm tucked under her head.
"Your bed is very comfortable" she nodded before pausing, "o-oh, I'm so sorry- I'm led on your arm, that must not be very comfortable for you-"
Hotch chuckled deeply and pulled her closer before she could wiggle back off his arm, "it's fine, I don't mind being a human pillow for you."
"How kind" she chuckled, letting her eyes scan his face with the kind of affection that made butterflies in Hotch's stomach do flips.
"You're very pretty" she complimented with such certainty to her words, Hotch tilting his head with a surprised and sudden red tint to his cheeks.
"I don't think anyone has called me 'pretty' before" he chuckled.
Cameron tilted her head with a genuine confusion and concern, "that's a shame- because you are very pretty, I'm sorry no one has told you that before."
He paused in awe of how she could make him feel so sure of everything just with her words and her certainty of them.
"Thank you" he felt uncharacteristically blushed which made her smile with a nod.
"You're welcome."
The two stayed like that for a moment in silence; just staring at each other, just taking in the moment they never thought would be.
"Wait- what's the time?" Cameron suddenly sat up with a realisation that it was a workday, pulling the duvet up to cover herself as she did.
"My alarm clock goes off at 6:30am and it hasn't yet so I think we're okay" Hotch chuckled at her sudden panic, sitting up slightly himself and letting himself get caught in her eyes that looked back over her shoulder at him with puzzlement.
"What are you looking at?" She quizzed, he tilted his head with a small smile and leant forward, cupping her cheek and softly pressing his lips to hers, feeling a small smile on hers before she melted into the embrace.
Her hand softly rested on his thigh as his hands found their way to the small of her back, softly drawing her body to lay on his as the kiss evolved.
He felt her pause, leaning back from the kiss slightly and opened his eyes to check if she was okay.
"Did you hear something?" She asked, he tilted his head with confusion before he heard the front door close and a small 'bye- see you later aunty" was heard.
"Oh no" he chuckled at his realisation just as the bedroom door flew open and Jack came running in.
"Oh my-" Cameron quickly stumbled off Hotch and pulled the covers over her head with a blushed embarrassment as Jack jumped onto the bed.
"Dad! You're home!" Jack yelled excitedly, hugging Hotch who was laughing at Cameron's flustered state under the blanket.
"Hey buddy- how was the night at Aunt Jessica's?"
"We had ice-cream!" He smiled brightly, "why was there a dress and ladies coat in the living room?"
"Cameron is here" Hotch revealed to her surprise, "she had to change after she got out of the rain."
"Cameron! Did she have a sleep over?! I wish I could have had a sleepover here with you guys!" Jack beamed excitedly.
"She did- she helped me with some work files and fell asleep in the other room though so keep quiet" Hotch lied, Jack nodded.
"Can I see her when she wakes up? Oh! Can she come and drop me off at school? Or we could get some breakfast-" Jack rambled excitedly as Hotch chuckled and patted his back.
"How about we start by you going to get dressed out of your pyjama's ready for school and I'll get you some breakfast- does that sound good?"
Jack nodded and hopped off the bed before turning back to Hotch, "do you know if she brought any of those baked treats with her?"
Hotch let out a belly laugh, "I don't think she did sorry buddy."
Jack frowned and left, his mind still only focused on the delicious treats Cameron made before as he shut the door behind him.
"The coast is clear" Hotch chuckled and patted Cameron's back, unfolding the covers slightly and laughing at how flustered she looked with her hair in a mess covering her face from having to dive under the covers.
"Did I hear you tell him I was here?" She asked with confusion, he titled his head at her.
"Yes? Why wouldn't I?"
She shrugged awkwardly with a blush, "I-I... I don't know, I just assumed that you probably wouldn't want to..."
He chuckled and leant down, placing a soft kiss on her forehead, "you're not some kind of secret that I don't want the world to see Cameron."
She couldn't explain how much that meant to her, she couldn't find the words to express it.
So she cupped his face and brought his lips down to hers, showing her appreciation where her words couldn't.
He wrapped his arm around her waist and lent over her, resting on his elbow on the bed the other side of her as his other hand scooped around her back.
Before the kiss could evolve further like both of them wanted, the alarm started ringing and made Hotch slightly pull back with a small frustrated eyeroll that made her laugh.
"I think that might mean it's time to get up" she patted his face gently but he didn't move, he just looked down at her with an adoring expression.
"Your eyes are heavenly Cameron" he couldn't help saying, enjoying the surprised smile on her face that came from his words as he sat back up.
"I'll go grab your dress for you" he patted her thigh, hopping out of the bed and pulling his clothes on- not noticing her watching him dress with a blush on her cheeks.
"T-thank you" she smiled as he left and let herself lie back down- almost giggling at the bizarre fact that this was real, that she was led in Aaron Hotchner's bed after spending the night with him.
Her eyes widened at that realisation.
Aaron Hotchner.
His bed.
She was in his bed.
Her boss.
She felt a panic erupt in her chest thinking about work, thinking about the FBI's rule, thinking about what would happen if they found out about them.
Woah, slow down- you don't even know if there is a 'you and Hotch' yet, don't get ahead of yourself, don't have hope and make assumptions- you know how that ends.
She tried to stop her panicking, she tried to breathe and clutched the duvet closer to her.
The panic grew and she felt her hands start to shake, the walls closing in on her, suffocating as her mind tumbled to the worst possible case scenarios with no reason that they could ever happen but she couldn't stop it.
She quickly rolled out of the bed, grabbing the first piece of clothing she saw and pulling on one of Hotch's shirts without knowing what it was before pulling on her underwear underneath- trying to brush out her hair with her hands and stumbling over to the door which opened and knocked into her just as she grabbed the handle.
"Cameron!" Hotch ran to her side, "are you okay?"
She tried to catch her breath and nodded, unable to speak.
"Where were you rushing off to?" Hotch asked as he scanned her face for any injuries from the door smacking her off her feet.
"I-I-" she stammered and caught herself in his eyes, somehow calming her down instantly and making her wonder herself where she was 'rushing off to'- or who she was rushing off from.
"Are you okay?" He brushed the hair out of her face with concern, "you seem panicked- is everything okay?"
She looked up at him with a small, honest smile and nodded, "everything is great."
He tilted his head with confusion and helped her up before pausing down at her, "is that my shirt?"
"Oh! I'm so sorry, I just panicked and I didn't want to run out of your apartment naked, I'm really sorry, I'll take it off-" she quickly apologised and went to undress but heard him laugh.
"It's fine, you keep it- it looks better on you anyway" he smiled, handing her dress over before going to leave but pausing.
"Oh yes and before we head off to work I think we should probably talk about Strauss's rule and what we're going to-" he spoke casually but it caught her off guard and brought her panic back at full force, blocking off the rest of his sentence as her mind raced.
This is it, he's going to tell you it's a mistake- he's going to turn you away after he got what he wanted, he's going to call you a fool, pathetic. You knew this would happen again, you should have known after what happened with Clyde, I can't believe you were so stupid to trust another enough to let them use you for the only reason anyone ever-
"Cameron, are you okay?" His voice brought her back to the room as his hands rested on her arms.
"W-what?"
"You looked like you were about to black out- I think you were holding your breath too."
She let out said breath and nodded, "okay, just do it."
"What?"
"Tell me to leave, tell me this was a mistake or whatever you were going to say- I can take it, maybe, I don't know- I may pass out but I'll wake up eventually, it's fine-" she rambled before noticing his confused tilted head.
"What? What are you on about?"
"Y-you mentioned the rule, the one about not being 'involved' with or 'fraternising' with co-workers which I assume is even more frowned upon for superiors- I just guessed you were going to tell me that and... and it's fine, I mean it's not fine but I don't want you to feel like you owe me anything, not that you would think that- not that I don't think that you wouldn't, wait that's confusing. I don't even know what this... not that this is anything... wait now I'm not even speaking in sentences. All I'm saying is-" her quiet ramblings were interrupted by Hotch's lips on hers, a small smile on his as he kissed her.
"Cameron, I wasn't going to say any of that" he chuckled as their lips parted, gently pushing her hair behind her ears, "I was just going to say we should keep this just between us for a small while until I figure out the rule's technicalities. You might not be an official employee since you were 'hired' by the Interpole agency not the FBI so that might be a loophole that I'll look into- but we both know how rumours spread and I wouldn't want anything jeopardising your security in America so at work we'll have to pretend that we don't feel anything other than a professional level of tolerance for each other.."
Cameron paused in shock, "w-wait, so you... you want to be with me?"
Hotch smiled at her blushed surprise, "of course I want to be with you Cameron."
"You didn't just want to... you know... a-and then get rid of me? You don't think I'm pathetic or don't want to just get rid of me now that we've..." she trailed off and looked at the floor but he gently placed his finger under her chin and gently tilted it up at her with a look of concern.
"Whoever has made you feel like that is all you are worth is a fool."
She couldn't help the tears coming to her eyes that she held back whilst she gave a small, appreciative smile as she tried to convince herself of his words.
"Look at me-" he smiled softly and cupped her face, "I would never do that to you. And I certainly don't think that you're pathetic. I know that I haven't always been the nicest to you, I know that I haven't always made you feel the way that you deserve to feel and for that I deeply apologise, more than I could ever say- but I promise you Cameron, I promise you that I would never want to make you feel like that, I would never want you to think that I just want you for that, you deserve to feel so much more than that. I want you for so much more than just that, you are so much more than that. I promise you, I will do whatever it takes to make sure you're okay, to make sure you don't feel like that again."
It was the kind of promise she could tell had more to it than just what he was saying- more weight to it, more care, more certainty, more truth;
I promise that I won't hurt you.
She had hundreds of things she wanted to say, something very usual for Cameron- but none of them came out.
She stood on her toes, her hands placing softly on his shoulders as she brought her lips close to his and whispered before bringing them together.
"I believe you."
His hands lowered to around her waist and held her close in a soft, sweet embrace that Cameron parted from with a soft laugh.
"What's so funny?" He asked with an amused eyebrow raise.
"I'm just not used to this; kissing you instead of just thinking about it."
"Oh? So you've thought about it have you?" He teased, knowing the blush that would automatically appear on her cheeks.
"W-what? N-no, I-" she stammered which made him laugh.
"It's okay, I've thought about it too."
"You've thought about kissing yourself?" She asked with a serious confusion that made his laugh grow.
"No Cameron; you, I've thought about kissing you, I've thought about it for a while, far longer than I should have" he explained which made a flustered glow appear on her face until Hotch's alarm went off again by his bed and caught her attention.
"I should probably make sure Jack is ready for school, but-" he went to leave before turning back to her.
"But what-" she tried to quiz but before she could finish her sentence he had pulled her into another deep kiss.
The kind of kiss to make up for all of the time just thinking about kissing her, the kind of kiss that felt so deep and personal to them that it felt like it was destined to happen.
"W-wow" Cameron parted the kiss breathlessly with a small chuckle that he smiled down at.
"Daaaaad- I can't find my socks" Jack called out before Hotch could kiss her again like he wanted to.
He shook his head with a chuckle, "you're welcome to have a shower whilst I drop him off at school and I'll pick you up for work after if you like" he said, planting a quick kiss onto her forehead before leaving so she could get changed.
Cameron finished getting dressed after her shower into her surprisingly dry dress that she realised by its warmth that Hotch must have popped it into his tumble-dryer for a few minutes which made her smile at his gesture.
She finished drying her hair and cleaning her face before wondering into the kitchen where she was surprised to find both Hotch and Jack still there.
"That was a quick shower" Hotch smiled at her.
"I don't like to waste water- we didn't have much of it growing up so I've gotten into the habit to preserve as much as possible" she explained.
"But you always smell so nice" Jack said as he ate his cereal which made Cameron laugh.
"Thank you?"
"That was quite a bizzare compliment bud" Hotch chuckled before his phone rang.
"Excuse me" he answered it and left the room as Cameron popped on her shoes.
"Do you want some cereal?" Jack offered, "you can have your own bowl if you like- or you can have some of mine, I don't mind, I don't even really like this cereal, dad just makes me eat it because he says it's healthy- which means it tastes gross."
Cameron chuckled and nodded in agreement, "healthy cereal is a crime."
"I know right!" Jack exclaimed with a laugh before looking over at Cameron's leg, "did you get hurt?"
She looked down and realised her long wrap dress had parted slightly and revealed her still very bruised and deeply cut wound that should have been healed by now.
She brushed the dress back over it and smiled at Jack, "I got hurt at work a little but I'm okay, it looks worse than it is."
Jack nodded, "dad says that a lot when he comes home from work hurt, I don't believe him when he says he's okay though."
Cameron tilted her head and sat next to Jack at the bar stool, "why's that?"
"Because when mom left he said the same thing and he wasn't okay then."
She nodded with sympathy, knowing exactly how he had felt "I'm sorry, that must have been hard to lose your mother and watch your father go through it too."
"Oh, I wasn't talking about when she died- that was bad too but he wasn't much around then because he was trying to find the bad man who did it. I meant when she moved out before that, she left me with him for a few days whilst she moved into her new house and I heard him crying one night- I've never seen him cry before. I didn't want to make it worse but I just felt like I was. I was in trouble at school and felt like asking him to explain why mom and I were leaving was making it worse for him and I'm still so confused but I-I just don't know... I don't like seeing him sad."
Cameron nodded before speaking gently, "being sad is an unfortunate part of life, even heros like your dad get sad. When my mother passed away, my father closed off even more than he had before which was saying something. 'Because that's life' was a phrase often told in my household to stop me questioning the sadness, but that phrase isn't helpful. If someone had just explained to me, if someone had just answered my 'but whys' then I think I would have been able to mourn and understand the sad I was feeling. I kept thinking that it was my fault, that if I just tried harder and did every chore right then he would be okay, but what I really needed to know was that his sadness wasn't my fault- nor was the fact he tried to hide it."
"Did someone kill your mom too?" He asked with sincerity not known to the small child but a gratefulness for her honesty with him took over.
Cameron paused and went to speak but Hotch came back in after his phone call in a frustrated mood.
"Is everything alright Aaron?"
"Yes, well no- we have an emergency case which means that I have to go in early to make sure everything is prepared and I have to order the jet to be readied but I haven't had enough time to and I have to drop Jack off at school which is the opposite way of the office so I'm going to be late and don't know how I am going to get the prep paperwork done in time" Hotch spoke as he quickly packed his bag to rush out.
"I can just walk to school" Jack suggested, a hint of begging to his voice.
"Jack, I don't have time to have this conversation right now- you're not old enough to walk to school on your own" Hotch dismissed.
"Daaaaad, I'm totally old enough to walk to school."
"Not in a busy city by yourself, you're still just a child Jack, please don't argue with me on this" Hotch spoke sternly, trying to figure out how he was going to make it on time- at this point he wouldn't even make it to the office on time for a normal work day if he had to drop off Jack.
"I can walk with him if you like?" Cameron offered before Jack could start a full blown argument with Hotch like she could sense was coming from Jack's stubborn face, "my apartment is near that side of town anyway and I need to change for work and grab my go bag."
Hotch paused and looked over at her, his panic and worry flustered state of being late immediately being flattened by the comforting smile on her face.
"You don't have to do that Johnson-"
"It's no bother at all, that way you can get to work early and Jack can walk to school by himself- I'll just be there as company- if you don't mind me tagging along Jack?" She smiled down at Jack who looked very excited.
"Please can Cameron walk me to school?!" He begged Hotch who went to mil it over but his phone went off again.
"Okay but stick to the paths and call me when you're there so I know you're both safe- are you sure this is okay Cameron?"
"Of course, although I might be a few minutes late to work if that's okay as I have to check on Radomir when I get home" she said as Jack excitedly ran to grab his bag from his room to leave.
"I'll send a car to pick you up from your apartment" Hotch walked over and planted a soft kiss on her forehead before he left, pausing when she pushed him away with an apologetic look.
"Careful! Jack could run in here at any moment and we can't pretend that is something co-workers do."
Hotch couldn't help but laughing as he brushed her hair behind her ear, "I don't think Jack is exactly going to tell Strauss on us."
"Yes but I wouldn't feel right not going about this delicately for him and making him uncomfortable with his father bringing home a random woman who he's only met when her dog tried to kill his dad in a park and when she was about to die from being stabbed-" she tried to explain her thought process, making Hotch pause with a smile and nodded.
"That's very sweet of you to think of that Cameron but-"
"Dad! I can't find my pencil case" Jack came out of his room searching through his bag as Cameron quickly hopped off the bar stool and stepped away from Hotch who chuckled at her before he walked over and hugged Jack , "Jessica will pick you up from school later like usual, okay? Call me before bed, I love you and I'll be back soon."
"Okay but I still can't find my pencil case- it's my Fortnite one."
"Miss Johnson will help you find it before you leave, I've got to go- is that okay Cameron?" Hotch said as his phone continued ringing.
"Of course" she smiled and walked him to the door before whispering, "but what is a 'fort-nite?'"
Hotch couldn't help his laughing as he softly rubbed her back, "I'll see you later."
"Tut, tut, tut- you missed the 40 minute briefing at the office, this is the latest you've ever arrived young lady" Rossi teased Cameron as she walked onto the jet where the team were.
"I mean she did almost get murdered last night at work- give her a break" Morgan laughed as she sat down opposite him, giving a small polite smile before opening her file and simply reading it.
The team all exchanged glances, it was not like Cameron to be this quiet.
"Johnson-" Hotch smiled as he came out of the toilet and saw her, pausing when he immediately could tell that something was bothering her despite her best efforts to hide it with a forced smile.
"Is everything alright?" He asked in a soft tone that surprised the team, all of them expecting him to tell her off for being late, not to worry if she was okay.
"Yep" she dismissed, keeping her head down at the file.
"Are you sure?" He prompted, noticing her swallowing her sick and just nodding in response.
"Cameron-"
"I said I was fine" she snapped her head up to him making him pause before nodding and clearing his throat in slight shock as he turned to the team.
"Everyone read your files; I'll quickly go through the briefing just so we're all up to date. We were meant to have a paperwork week but there has been a child abduction case and we all know how time sensitive these are. We need you all to be Garcia's point of contact to get her anything she needs from the station and various public recourses - as you can see, she's joining us on this case but with the break in that happened yesterday the FBI are cutting off sending all the files to her computer like they normally do. Reid, I need you to work on the geographical profile and collect information on the press release with Garcia's help as JJ isn't with us this week since her 2nd trimester has hit and she's being put on bed rest. Rossi and Emily, I need you to go interview the mother. Johnson and-"
He paused when he looked at Cameron to give her assignment, noticing she was still looking down at the file and her hands were shaking.
"Cameron?" He let his concern get the better of him.
"Yes?" She looked up at him, hiding the tears that threatened to fall.
Hotch paused and almost let himself fall into her eyes but he cleared his throat and made a mental note to talk about what was wrong with her later.
"You and Morgan will be interviewing the father since the parents are divorced- is that okay with you?"
"Of course" she replied simply and looked back down at her file which he knew she had already read by now and was just pretending to read, forcing himself to continue past his concern.
"The child, Dawson Leeds, was taken from their house in the middle of the night without the parents or siblings hearing anything. He is 12 years old and has two younger sisters which means this was a planned kidnapping with him as the target as if it was random then the sisters would have been taken instead, statistically."
"Given the age and development I think we can rule out paedophilia" Reid pointed out.
"Have we got any information on what his relationship is like with his family members?" Emily asked.
"Not yet, the police are doing the interviews now but they can't get the girls to talk" Garcia explained.
"What?" Hotch turned to her.
"Yeah, the chief just emailed saying the twin sisters just won't talk to anyone- they won't even leave their room."
"Maybe they saw something" Emily suggested, "we should try to get someone good with kids to talk to them."
Hotch paused for a moment and looked at Cameron who was still pretending to read her file.
"Change of plans; Johnson, you and Morgan will go interview the twins and I'll go interview the father" Hotch ordered, Cameron looked up from her file with confusion.
"Me? But I'm not trained for talking to family members like an agent"
"Yes, but you're good with children and have the least intimidating 'agent-like' presence out of all of us- if they'll open up to anyone it'll be you" he said, remembering the conversation he overheard her having with Jack earlier from the other room.
She paused before nodding, "that's fine."
"That's it?" Morgan raised an eyebrow at her.
"Pardon?"
"You usually have a lot more to say about assignments is all, I thought that you would have some kind of questions."
"And I thought that agents weren't meant to profile each other" she half snapped with a sense of irritation not usual to Cameron, he watched her face waver slightly and could tell she was trying to fight the urge to apologise.
"I'm sor- I'm going to use the bathroom" she stood up instead and walked past the team before anyone could say anything.
"Has her limp gotten worse?" Rossi broke the silence first.
"It seems like it's still tender to walk on- it should be healed by now though, does anyone know what painkillers she's on?" Emily asked, Reid tilted his head at her.
"She shouldn't be taking any painkillers anymore- that injury would only require a 3 week trial given how strong the painkillers are."
"Well I've saw her take at least 3 yesterday morning" Garcia pointed out.
"I saw her take 3 at lunch- did anyone see her at dinner? Did she take anymore?" Morgan asked, Hotch did and she had.
"That's already too many of that strong of dosage- does anyone know the exact painkillers she's on?" Morgan sat up with concern.
"Where's her bag?" Hotch looked around to search through it.
"I think she took it to the toilet with her, but we shouldn't search through her bag or bother her, she seems in a bad mood today-" Reid tried to say but Hotch was already marching over to the toilet and banging on the door.
"Johnson, open the door."
"Give me a minute" he heard a small voice reply before hearing whispers down the phone.
"Cameron, open this door right now or I'll-" his voice rose before the door snapped open.
"What?!" He was surprised to hear her yell, her phone in hand.
"What will you do agent Hotchner?! Tell me! Either threaten me or go back to your seat and let me finish my phone call" she snapped sternly with tears in her eyes, slamming shut the door again before he could speak from the sheer amount of shock he was in.
"Jesus- I've never seen her so angry" Emily shook her head.
"I told you that we shouldn't bother her" Reid mumbled.
Hotch stood outside the door the rest of the flight, tapping his foot impatiently.
"Please move away from the door or I won't come out" Cameron sternly spoke through the door knowingly, he shook his head with frustration at her stubbornness and stepped to the side as the door opened and she walked past him with her bag as the plane finished landing.
"Cameron, let me see your-"
She walked past him to the table opposite her seat, emptying her bag out onto it.
"There; you can all search through my things and continue your little theories and profiles of me- keep it all if it'll satisfy your need to know about things that have absolutely nothing to do with you" she spat, turning from them and storming off the plane in an uncharacteristic huff.
"Morgan-" Hotch said, his eyes not looking at anything or anyone but Cameron as she left, his mind flooding with theories and worries of her sudden demeanour shift, terrified that he might of done something to upset her, worried of what she clearly wasn't telling him- puzzled by what could have happened from the time when he last saw her bubbly and laughing after a delightful morning and incredible night together and then suddenly now cold, irritated and almost seeming afraid.
"-find out what is wrong with her, make sure she's okay" he ordered.
"Hotch, I don't think that she'll-"
"Just do it" Hotch snapped and walked off the plane to try to focus on work despite all his thoughts just being on her.
He had to make sure she was okay, he had to keep his promise.