Lilac sat back from her computer, pushing her chair away from her desk. She stood and threw her hands into the air, spinning around in victory.
"Finally!" She yelled in excitement, dancing in place as Andi looked up.
"Turned it in?" She asked, eyes alight, and when Lilac nodded, Andi hopped out of bed. "Get dressed, we're going out to celebrate!" Lilac laughed as she stretched her back. She was so glad to be free of her CS final coding project; it had taken her the entire semester, but she did what she set out to do.
"Define 'go out'," Lilac demanded, "What exactly does that mean?"
"Don't worry, no parties," Andi promised, rolling her eyes. "I know you're antisocial, I'm not trying to kill you. Let's just go get celebratory dinner or something."
"I am not antisocial, I am socially selective," Lilac countered, "And it's three p.m.." Andi threw up her hands.
"Well then, what do you want to do?" Andi teased.
"I'm not trying to shoot you down!" Lilac said, laughing as she looked into her closet to change into something decent. "I just... you know what, you're absolutely right. Let's go get a celebratory lunch."
"Let's dress up, too," Andi said, always looking for an excuse to wear some of her nicer clothes. "I've been meaning to wear my power suit, but, you know."
"College," Lilac finished her sentence, laughing. "Can't exactly comfortably show up to class with a three-piece suit on."
"And I won't be comfortable going to the dining hall in a three-piece suit, either, but it's about the fashion," Andi declared, running a hand through her hair. She pulled out a tan suit for Lilac's approval, and Lilac whistled when she saw it.
"Absolutely yes," Lilac said, and then she turned to her closet. There was one dress she had that was fancy enough; funny that it was a pale lilac color, too. It was a little shorter than she was used to and it had a halter neck, and a friend had gotten it for her for her birthday a year or two ago. She'd never worn it out, but Lilac supposed now was as good a time as any,
"Why not," Lilac said, quickly changing and slipping the dress on. "I'm feeling cute, I'm a senior in college, and I just turned my final in. My dress can be a little short." At that, Andi turned around, raising her brows when she saw Lilac.
"You look fabulous," Andi complimented, "And you're good and right your dress can be a little short. You earned it." Lilac flashed her a grin, pairing her dress with all-white boots and matching jewelry. Andi put on a beret (Lilac had no idea where she'd gotten a beret but she loved it) and stylish leather boots. The pair hadn't intended to coordinate, but their lighter shades of clothing somehow made them look distinctly put together next to one another.
"We look sick," Lilac said, putting on confidence as her final accessory. "Now let's go eat subpar dining hall food."
"Wait," Andi said, "You said you'd text the boys once you turned it in. They're going to kill you if you forget." Andi had taken to saying 'the boys' with a certain sarcasm because of how often Lilac used it as a general term for any of the Minecraft crew, but mostly for Clay, Sap, and George.
"Ah, that's right," Lilac remembered, pulling out her phone. "Don't know what I would do without you."
"You'd forget to message the boys," Andi said, and Lilac rolled her eyes as she opened their group chat.
SPADE AND THE BOYS
QueenofSpades
Achievement unlocked: Finished college capstone
Dream
That's a pog
Lemme get a lilac is pogchamp in chat
Sapnap
Lilac is pogchamp
GeorgeNotFound
Lilac is pogchamp
QueenofSpades
Thank u guys!!
Sapnap
Also a flex. Actually finishing college lol
Couldn't be me
:(
QueenofSpades
Well i'm not out of the woods yet
Still have to wait for grading
GeorgeNotFound
Yeah but i mean it's still kinda
Achievement unlocked: College Graduate
Bc ur gonna pass
QueenofSpades
Thx G :)
Dream
G?????
Achievement unlocked: deffo flirting
QueenofSpades
Achievement unlocked: -_____-
Sapnap
I'm still on the achievement unlocked: Flex on the dropout
I mean it's definitely achievement unlocked: pog
But I'm still achievement unlocked: sad
QueenofSpades
Girl pls
Be achievement unlocked: glad, bc ur hot and have hot friends
That's something to love
Sapnap
???????
what
QueenofSpades
I'm supporting you in the best way i know how
Andi was just hyping me up
I'm just passing on the good word
GeorgeNotFound
It's friends support friends hours
QueenofSpades
Exactly
You guys are all someone's favorite white boy
Relish it, u all deserve it
Dream
TRUE
Achievement unlocked: white boy summer
It's lilac approved
GeorgeNotFound
LMAO
QueenofSpades
Clay pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease
Anyway gents, I am attending a semiformal dinner w andi in celebration
I'll talk in a bit!
Sapnap
Sounds gucci tell her we said hi
Dream
^
Also congratulations again! You're awesome
GeorgeNotFound
^^
Boys support lilac hours will return when you get back
QueenofSpades
Will do
Thank you
Love you guys :)
Lilac shook her head at her phone as they started spamming hearts in her DMs, flooding her notifications. She slipped her phone into her bag, looking up at Andi.
"Okay," She said, smoothing the skirt of her dress, "Let's go!"
-
It was surprisingly late when they got back from the dining hall. Andi and Lilac both sat on their beds on either side of the room, chatting away. Neither of them had bothered to change, so they were both comically overdressed to be shooting the breeze, but it was all fine. Lilac kind of enjoyed being so dressed up, even inside- it was a rare occurrence.
"So," Andi said, finally breaking into the topic after waiting patiently for the right moment. "George."
"George," Lilac repeated. "I can't believe you have more questions, even after all the talking we did when I got back from England."
"It's only one question, one I didn't ask then. And it's very important," Andi informed her.
"Alright, shoot," Lilac nodded, sitting up a bit from her slouched position to see her roommate better.
"Are you in love?" Lilac raised an eyebrow at her question.
"No," She said as if it were obvious. "People don't fall in love this quickly."
"Some do," Andi shrugged.
"I don't think I'm a part of that 'some'," Lilac said.
"Let's say you fully believed you could fall in love this fast, for the sake of conversation," Andi proposed. "Could you see yourself being in love with him?" Lilac really thought hard, but she didn't have to. Her brain immediately provided her with a yes, like it was its reflex answer. And if Lilac were honest, that wasn't really surprising. George was so many things to her; kind and sweet and caring and attentive. He was a good listener and a great friend, and she'd never say it to him, but she was sure he'd make a fantastic boyfriend. He was a little odd and very loud, and an odd combination of talkative and introverted, but all of his incongruent traits made George George and Lilac wouldn't have it any other way.
Two months ago today, Lilac hadn't met him yet, and she wouldn't have met him for another two days. The idea of that alone was almost offensive. A version of her that didn't know George was a version that was simply unacceptable. And as much as Lilac really didn't think she was in love, she couldn't exactly ignore that.
"I mean, yeah," Lilac summed up, supposing she couldn't really skirt around it.
"But you don't think you actually are," Andi clarified, and Lilac nodded her agreement.
"So what I'm hearing," Andi repeated with a growing smile, "Is that you'd be in love with George already if you just... believed that you could fall in love this fast?"
"Don't say it like that," Lilac said, unsuccessfully biting back a smile.
"Why?" Andi pushed. "Because you realize how dumb that sounds? Kinda sounds like you might be in love, Lilac."
"I am not in love," Lilac said, sitting up. Suddenly she was convincing both herself and Andi, and that kind of knocked the wind out of her. She couldn't be in love, it had only been two months. Two of the best months of her life, sure. Two months of her talking to George nearly every day for long periods of time, yes. Two months in which they'd been able to properly meet in person and be present with one another, fine. Two months of discovering that she loved everything about that idiot and took a certain pride in learning new things about him, absolutely. Two months that made her wonder what she'd done without him, okay.
The problem Lilac was having now was that there was no 'but' to follow up with. There was no counterargument. She was proving Andi's point on every hand and foot available. Try as she might to logic her way through it, she couldn't. Lilac was faced with the reality of her situation, and it scared her how real it just got.
"I'm kind of realizing," Lilac said slowly, "That if I take the 'two months' out of the equation... If I take it out of every thought I just had, that doesn't really line up." Andi grinned and let out a breath, finally 100% positive that her friend was getting it.
"What doesn't line up?" Andi asked, pretending not to know so Lilac would verbally clarify.
"I was just thinking to myself, like, 'I'm not in love because it's only been two months', and then I listed all of these things about our interactions and our relationship and how I feel about him. All of those things had 'two months' as the reason I can't be in love, but if I take that out..." Lilac couldn't even finish. Logic dictated that Andi was right, but she simply couldn't say it out loud.
"This is scary," Lilac said when Andi didn't say anything. Andi nodded patiently.
"I know," Andi said, understanding that it must have been. She herself was very much in tune with her feelings and willing to ride them wherever they took her. All Andi had to do was imagine doing the exact opposite of that- watching her feelings go by and try to figure them out from afar- and she felt exactly what Lilac was feeling. The anxiousness of not understanding her feelings, the fear that came from being blindsided by something within your own mind, the paranoia of not being able to be self-aware. Scary stuff.
"What do I do?" Lilac asked, looking to Andi for help. She smiled gently, sliding down from her bed and joining Lilac on hers. Wordlessly, Andi sat with crossed legs and patted her lap. Feeling overwhelmingly calmed just by that, Lilac lay her head in Andi's lap and closed her eyes.
"Thank you," She whispered, and Andi smiled.
"Of course," Andi said, taking one of Lilac's braids in hand and weaving it through her fingers, "The only way to figure it out is to work through it."
"I know," Lilac responded after a brief moment. "It's just... a lot. I don't really know what this is all about."
"Well, that's the thing. That's what love feels like, it's different for everyone," Andi explained, "That's why no one can describe it. It's reckless and abrupt and it sounds crazy if you explain it to anyone. Even to the person you love!"
"Really?" Lilac asked, opening her eyes to look up at Andi, who was vehemently gesturing.
"Really," Andi promised. "The feelings of liking or loving someone don't really make any sense, but you'd do anything to keep feeling them. You would do anything to keep the person who makes you feel it happy."
"So the question is, do I feel that way about George?" Lilac asked, filling in the blank that Andi left seamlessly. The redhead fell quiet to let Lilac think.
She thought back. Back to a few days ago, when she was holed up in George's warm flat, cooking and playing video games with him. Talking to him and hearing his musical laughter in person. She thought back to the Discord calls they'd shared, whether just with each other, with friends, or over a stream. She remembered their Stardew stream, their Minecraft streams, the streams in between. She thought back to meeting him in Florida for the first time, meeting him on Discord for the first time. Lilac thought back to everything, and she said,
"He just turns my stomach upside down. I don't know if that makes any sense, or really what that means." Andi looked at her with a knowing smile.
"What do you think it means?"
"I don't want to say love, it's freaking me out," Lilac admitted.
"Then don't say it," Andi said simply.
"So... it means I like him?"
"Are you asking me?" Andi retorted, "Or are you telling me?"
"I like him," Lilac breathed, finally saying it out loud. Her face broke out into a huge smile. She liked George, and now that she was thinking it, it was so incredibly obvious. Lilac pulled her head up from Andi's lap, turning to look directly at her.
"You like him," Andi confirmed, smiling right along with her roommate.
"I like him," Lilac repeated, "I like GeorgeNotFound. I like a guy who plays with blocks for a living."
"You sure do," Andi laughed.
"I don't know if I'm ready for this," Lilac admitted. "Actually, I'm definitely not."
"My dear," Andi informed her, "No one ever is."