TW // brief mention of blood
Bad and the other two sat there in a heap until they each got their breath back and recovered as much as they could.
Bad saw George glance down and stumble backwards. "Uh actually- you know- I think I'd rather dig back- yeah." He fumbled for his pickaxe and started spam-breaking the Netherrack. Once he was ten blocks back from the ledge, he leaned his hands on his knees and panted. "Whew. Okay. That's better- that's better. Oh my god my stomach."
Bad looked at him, perplexed. Sapnap rolled his eyes. "We don't have time for this, George. I can't believe you just almost died to hoglins and you're still more scared of heights."
"Oh," Bad realized. "Are you okay, George?" He took a couple steps toward him.
"Uh my head's kind of weird but I'm fine- I'm fine-" he flopped a hand at Bad. "Just don't want to fall in lava and die, you know how it is."
"Yeah I totally get that." Bad put a hand on his arm. "But we do need to go down, okay? Do you want me to hold your hand?"
George shrugged him off nervously. "Uh no thanks. I'd like to just stay here a few minutes, if that's good." He smiled widely and giggled. "Yeah. AaaaHAA? Sapnap what are you doing?"
Sapnap had approached threateningly. "George, you are either going to walk out and down with us or I am knocking you out and carrying you."
"What?" George squeaked, backing against the wall. "You can't knock people out in Minecraft, Sapnap, don't be ridiculous."
"Well a6d got knocked out by the golem," Bad said slowly. "But Sapnap please-"
"Yeah so unless you wanna be a sack of flour get your ass back out on that ledge," Sapnap growled.
George paled, but he shook his head and started digging faster into the cliff.
Sapnap snarled "George!" and followed him, but George put Netherrack to block him.
Bad sighed. These muffinheads. Manhunts all over again.
"Leave me alone!" George screamed. "You'll make me blind or something! Just leave me alone a second!"
"Get back out here you little pussy!" Sapnap angrily dug toward his voice.
Bad got out his pick and hit Sapnap on the shoulder. "Stop scaring him, you muffinhead. Oh my goodness. You sit. I'll get him. George?"
They heard mining and then it stopped. Sapnap huffed.
Bad dug one block towards it. "George? It's okay, we're not gonna hurt you, you're fine."
He looked pointedly at Sapnap, who rolled his eyes. "I won't hurt you, just come back," he grumbled.
Bad dug another three blocks in the wall and found George in a corner, very terrified.
He offered him a hand. "It's okay, George. Come on."
George tentatively took his hand and stepped forward. Bad stole his pickaxe in a flash and Sapnap picked George up by the waist. "AH WOT- SAPNAP LEMME DOWN! BAD!! BAD NO-" George reached for him as Sapnap carried him back to the ledge- "YOU TRICKED ME!!!" He saw the drop and screeched, kicking and thrashing frantically "NO SAPNAP SAP-NAP ACTUALLY LET ME DOWN RIGHT NOW SERIOUSLY!!!"
Bad walled the hole up with cobble. "Sorry George. It's done with love."
"AAAA!" George struggled more- "NO NO STOP STOHP!"
"So much love." Sapnap put him down against the wall and George shrank back, trying to break through it. "Nononono-"
"GEORGE!" Sapnap yelled at him. "Get your shit together. I didn't almost die so you could whimper on this wall for the next goddamn year."
Bad flinched but let him do the tough love act.
It worked and George stopped beating at the wall. He flattened himself on the ground and groaned in misery. "Oh my gooooooooooooood."
Bad started making the staircase down as Sapnap watched him.
George peeked over the edge again and clung tighter to the Netherrack. He laid flat like he was on a shaking raft and closed his eyes. "This is so unsafe. This is so bad, oh my god, it's so bad."
Bad pitied poor George but Sapnap apparently did not. He crossed his arms. "Get moving or I'm picking you up again."
"Okay okay," George whimpered, "I'm moving I'm moving!" He put blocks on the lava side like a little railing and started shuffling down, pressing himself against the cliff face.
Sapnap followed and encouraged him continuously.
"How'd you get the saddles again?" Sapnap asked on the way.
Bad explained how he found one in a desert temple and two in a zombie spawner and then left one on poor Roberto when the pillagers swarmed their house.
He led the rest of the way down until they were a few blocks above the bubbling and glowing lava ocean. The steam rose in waves and boiled everything.
George breathed a sigh of relief and Sapnap stared, mouth agape. "How the fuck are you more relaxed next to the FUCKING LAVA?!"
"Hey, language," Bad snapped. He gave George his pick back and a warm pat on the shoulder.
Bad bridged carefully next to the striders and stopped. He was sweating hard, so he took off his chestplate for a second.
"Bad," Sapnap warned.
"Just a sec." Bad was removing his black and red jacket and bandana.
He had just a comfortable black t-shirt underneath, but tied his jacket around his waist and bandana around his head. "Whew, that's better. Now we're matching, Sapnap!" He beamed.
"Great," Sapnap said unenthusiastically. "You should put the chestplate back on though."
George had been standing on the Netherrack bridge and turning his head back and forth. He snapped next to his ear.
"Guys... I can't hear on one side."
Sapnap was closest so he examined the side of George's head. The blood was mostly gone but some dried bits flaked off under his fingers as he brushed them under George's ear.
"There's a wound but it's swollen. You aren't healed yet. Just wait."
George bit the inside of his mouth but nodded. "Yeah, it still hurts."
"Give it time. Hopefully it'll fix itself," Sapnap said.
"Thanks," George said. "Also sorry about up there." He glanced up at the cliff wall. "You're right. I probably would've sat there forever."
"No problem, buddy."
Bad had re-armored and set down a crafting table. Luckily he had ten string in his inventory to make fishing rods.
"Did you just bring everything you own?" Sapnap asked, crouching next to him.
"Just what I thought was important." Bad put his mushroom on the hook of the fishing rod and smiled.
He held out a hand to the side and Sapnap wordlessly handed his over.
"Any other surprises?" He asked.
"No, just basics I think. I told you about the crossbow I added the Punch book to, that's the only other thing I think you don't have. What about you?"
Bad waved his fishing rod invitingly at the striders wandering around.
"Two swiftness pots we can't use because George faints when he runs, but why didn't you use the crossbow against the hoglins?"
"I didn't think of it in time," Bad admitted.
One of the striders' attention caught on the mushroom, and it wobbled closer to them.
"You had a bow right?"
"I didn't think about it either," Sapnap said with a shrug.
George spoke up from behind them, "We should get them close by in case there's a ghast. Also you were talking about weird things: I brought a clock."
"A clock?" Sapnap spun around to see, but Bad was drawing the strider right up next to their one-block-wide dock over the lava.
The striders were almost as tall as them, but because their group was standing a few blocks above them, the strider's flat heads were almost level with their feet.
They were beautifully unique animals. They looked sort of like cubes still but with rounded corners and soft edges. Their faces stuck out a little bit and the one chasing the mushroom looked very happy as it wobbled side to side in front of them. Its legs were long and thicker at the bottom with a cracked covering like black and gray solidified lava. The white things fluttering on the sides of its head looked like feathers from some old forgotten wings, as opposed to balding hair like Bad had always assumed.
Bad held the fishing rod in one hand and the saddle in the other and took a deep breath. He got the strider still and carefully placed the saddle on top of it. The buckles on the sides fell down and snapped themselves shut.
Bad smiled and carefully put one leg on the strider, then the other, and sat down, putting his boots in the stirrups and shifting to the most comfortable position.
He looked back to see George and Sapnap staring at him.
"You guys wait, I'll bring another one over," he said.
Bad leaned forward and the mushroom swung out, leading the strider to wobble forward and rock Bad side-to-side tumultuously. He held the saddle with one hand and the fishing rod with the other until he got used to it and held the rod in both hands.
He rode it over to some other ones and walked around them. They were also attracted to the mushroom and followed him back to the lava dock. Bad grinned happily.
He pulled up alongside the dock and the other ones stood around him and his steed on top of the lava's surface.
Bad giggled with pure joy. "This is so cool, guys."
George held a hand over his injured ear. "You said you have two, right? So what's the last person going to do?"
"I don't know." Bad put the other saddle on the strider right next to him; it clicked into place.
"By other person you mean you!" Sapnap stepped over Bad with a hand smushing his helmet down into his face and sat himself on the other strider. He immediately led it away as fast as it could teeter, laughing wildly.
George groaned. "You guys actually can't just leave me here."
"Of course we won't," Bad reassured him. "You can try sitting on one without a saddle or riding with one of us."
"Will you let me ride yours?" George asked. "And you get up here."
Bad hmmmed but he nodded. First he walked the striders over to the cliff and guided them up on a tiny flat space just barely above the lava. They got slower and grayed as soon as they were off the bright ocean.
Bad slid off the head of his strider and handed the mushroom pole to George, then helped him clamber up.
George rode the strider around and giggled with surprise. "This is fun! It's actually more fun than it looks!"
Bad was chasing the striders chasing George. "Hey, muffinhead, stop so I can get on one."
He towered up so he was above their heads again and paused.
There was a cute baby strider on top of one of the other adults; it blinked at him.
Bad crawled on top of the one next to him. It felt small and very unstable without a saddle, but he flattened himself and clung onto it.
"Hide the fishing rod," he told George.
The striders all started teetering toward the lava and Bad nearly slipped off at the violent rocking. He gulped as it approached the lava where Sapnap was waiting with his.
Bad's strider stepped onto the lava and immediately bolted; it lurched out of his grip and Bad slipped off into the lava.
All he saw was orange and red for a second as excruciating pain wracked his body wherever the lava was touching his skin. It burned him everywhere even as his head broke the surface. Bad tried to swim closer to the ground but it was like moving through syrup. He reached out, crying for help and George and Sapnap were there; their hands tightened on his arm and they pulled him out.
Bad gasped for air. Everything stung and he was covered in burns and still on fire. It was just pain. Distantly he heard Sapnap and George fretting worriedly, but it was a dim awareness.
"...bucket's empty no..."
"...just hope it stops before..."
"...eat something. Eat- Bad!" There was food pushed in his mouth and he slowly chewed.
The fire went out. He was alive.
George and Sapnap sighed with relief. Bad groaned and moved slightly. His skin stung. "Owwwww ow ow ow ow."
He blinked. They were both hovering over him with worried faces. One of the striders was also looking down at him.
"I'm sorry," George said. He offered Bad more bread.
Bad winced and took it. He tried to sit up a little and George pushed his backpack under Bad's head so he could recline a little bit. "Ow. Thanks. Mmm ow. That didn't really work, did it?"
They shook their heads. Sapnap gazed at him. "You're lucky to be alive. How low are you?"
Bad shook his head and stopped. That hurt. He winced again and said, "I don't know. The hearts have been kind of fuzzy. It was close though."
George gave him more bread and Bad sluggishly ate more of it until he wasn't hungry anymore.
George comforted him. "You'll be okay, alright? I fell in lava once. It was Sapnap's fault-" Sapnap glared at him but George ignored him- "but it really really hurt and the burns stayed on my skin for a while. It fades away, though. You should be back to normal within two days."
"Two days?" Bad repeated. That sounded like a long time.
"Yeah, but it'll hurt less and less from now on. Water is really uh, soothing, but there's nothing we can do about that here."
"I brought one," Bad mumbled. He sat all the way up.
George helped him pull out the bucket and put it in his lap. Bad carefully put his hands in the water and the cool sensation soothed the burns. His skin was blistered and raw, but the water helped. He tried to splash it on himself, but it evaporated as soon as he lifted his hands.
"It was in the Overworld for me," George said, watching. "Sapnap put water down and I just sat in it for a bit. I didn't have armor on, so it was all over me. I don't know if you're less damaged, it might take longer since we don't have water.
Do you want to go back? We can help you to the portal."
Bad examined his burned skin. It was tempting. But he shook his head. "I can stand it. It's okay. I'm not trying that again, though." He gestured at the striders.
"Yeah, I understand." George giggled weakly. "Can you eat any more?"
Bad shook his head.
"Can you stand?" George asked.
Bad gingerly nodded, and Sapnap came closer to help George support him.
"Here, you can get on this one- hold on tight." Sapnap boosted Bad up on the saddle of one of the striders, and he situated himself until he was mostly comfortable. It was a lot more stable than the one before.
Bad sighed tiredly.
"Okay George-" Sapnap straddled his own strider. "Hop on."
George glanced at Bad but groaned and towered up next to Sapnap, who offered him a hand.
George reluctantly took it and sat down right behind him.
Bad watched anxiously, but they both stayed on it.
George clung to Sapnap tightly and didn't look. "Oh my god this feels so unstable. Oh my god." He tried to get more in the middle.
Sapnap laughed. "It feels like you're trying to buttfuck me Georgie."
"HEY language!" Bad shouted at him. "Are you okay George?"
"Not okay not okay!" George cried but Sapnap led the strider forwards with a laugh. "Hold on tight George! Tell me if you're gonna faint!"
"OH MY GOD!" George yelled. "Sapnap slow it down!" He nearly squeezed him to death with a hug and shut his eyes while screaming for dear life.
Bad watched the strider waddle over lava with both of them riding safely on top. He smiled. It's working!!! YAY!!
He and Sapnap walked the striders side-by-side away from the cliff and George gradually opened his eyes and quieted down. "Oh fuck.... oh my god.... holy shit."
He twisted in the seat to look back at the ledge they came from.
"Oh my god..... wow."
Bad glanced back too. "How are we gonna find our way back here?"
"We'll remember where we go," Sapnap said. "George has a great sense of direction."
"Wait- we're relying on just that?" George faltered.
"Yeah. And we'll leave breadcrumbs when we go on land," Sapnap shrugged. "But hey, maybe there's a bastion just out of render distance and we're almost to it."
George nervously looked back again.
Bad sighed. "I miss coordinates."
"What if we did a lodestone compass thing?" George asked.
"You need netherite for that," Sapnap said as Bad said, "We don't have- yeah netherite ingot."
George slumped. "Oh."
"I have obi, so we can make a new portal if we need to, but then we'd probably be lost in the Overworld," Sapnap commented.
"Compasses point back to spawn," Bad said.
"Let's just try and get back to this one," George muttered. "Stop moving Sapnap!"
"I'm not moving- the strider's moving!" Sapnap insisted.
"Oh stop bickering," Bad said. "It's bad enough during all the manhunts but in real life you're even more muffiny. I can't believe you've stayed alive this long with all your fighting."
"Me neither," George grumbled.
(3k words)
Nether, Nether, Nether gang 🎼 do do do
Name the striders :3