Beam unlocked the door and closed it behind with tears gripping in his eyes he sees forth sitting on bed with head hung low his shoulders were trembling he wants to hug him and remove the pain but he cannot he is the reason for his pain he is giving him pain in the end
He slowly reaches for forth shoulder he knelt to forth feet he is sits on his folding legs, sobbing and his back was shaking like a feather, he frame his eyes to forth
Forth eyes were tearing up in the dark room he sees beam figure trembling at his feet he wants to make him sit beside him but he don't feel his hands to help the trembling figure he just stares in a cold way
The cold stare is paining beam he lumps down his throat with tears gripping his eyes, both are in pain, there is no solution for this!
"you should have told me!" he snapped, his deep voice coming through his deeper layers of heart carrying a pain of son "I deserve the truth!"
Beam desperately shook his head "today morning itself I came to know this!" he speaking as his stomach twisting in pain he is feeling so cold and stomach churning in pain and knotting him twisting him making him feel forth pain
Anger flaring in him, Forth ran his hand through his hair he is feeling frustrated! he needs to get sober, everything beam says is not believable to him, he is a son of a mother his lover! his husband! father killed his mother to save his son who is in-turn his love, his complicated feelings "I was happy that your alive..."
Forth words hit him hard beam reads forth resentment and he feel like he deserve it for what his father had done! if in his way he will be helpful to reduce his pain he will bare the words
"...my mother, was fighting with her last breath,"
Beam shoulders were trembling he was in same state too he was in last minute of his life on operation table he was lucky that he got a matching donor and his father rushed up saying, the patient in comma has no more chances to live and he proceeded for the surgery
"...I should have known about it" he bellowed with throat paining voice
Beam flinches for the voice he looks to forth teary eyes which are looking to beam as if he wants to kill beam! He sees forth throat moving up and down forth is swallowing. Can he remove the pain for forth! He wants to remove the pain, but how, forth is vulnerable, he understand the pain he also lost his father, and one thing that it's paining him is forth is not ready to believe him, he is a victim too, and his father died with the pain of killing, yes his father repented everything with his death, he is waiting for his wife, for one last hug and holding hands but his mother denied, his father was resented, hated by everyone he repented he bared the pain he died as a criminal not as a doctor and now this!
"..how am I supposed to tell you p'forth," his was pleading him softly he is shaking his head to believe and listen to him once, for one last time
Forth eyes shot in pain he gets up to his feet he wants to walk away if he is still their he might do something to beam which he will regret for sure
But beam held his leg, he holds his knee cap he chokes on his sob begging to listen to his side, he cannot take this pain, he is innocent, he is pure, he is forth's innocent and pure kid.
the last shot of forth eyes made his pain doubled he wants forth to listen to him and then he will move away he won't stay and make uncomfortable to forth, he will get away, he wants to tell that he love him and he did not cheat on his behind, he don't have any revenge plans, he never thought about the hospital too which is beyond his capability, yet he was happy that he got to work in the hospital where his father served as doctor to many people, right now he wants to tell forth that he did love him and he will still love him no matter now or tomorrow or in the next life he will only love only him!
Forth peeled the fingers away from the kneecap, he calmly says "...let's talk later beam, please don't let me hurt you, I am controlling a lot," he is walking away to the washroom
Beam stands shouting to forth back "no...I won't, I can fight this off,"
Forth closed the door he runs a cold shower and sits down the running water, he wants to hug cold beam who came running in the rain he can see how drenched beam was he must be shivering he hugged himself feeling helpless, beam father killed his mother and he was loving his son! he hit the floor with his fist his mother died and he was loving that person son, beam is his life he love him even now, how? What should he do? can he continue this? Your lover father killed your mother? He could not believe! he cannot hate beam, he loves him, he is feeling more guilty for his mother while he was happy in love with the criminal son, who killed his mother!!
Beam opens the door he runs to forth crying under the shower hitting the floor he hugs him siting under the shower, he hugs sobbing forth they both were crying under the running shower in a helpless state, beam repeatedly murmuring to forth "...I really don't know p'forth, believe me,"
Forth was crying even more they continues to cry, while forth gets away from beam arms he stands up turning off the shower with trembling fingers to looks to beam standing with tear gripping eyes his whole body was shivering
"how long did you plan to hide this?" he sneered "just to protect your father...you don't want me to resent your father, you love him so much, he killed my mother!!"
Beam shot his eyes with pained tears he sprints rushes to forth holding the wet collar he yells "I am telling you, I don't know..this morning p'nami and p'lam told me, I beg you please,"..he is sobbing knelt to forth legs he tugs on forth wet pants "I don't know anything, I sincerely did love you...I did not hide, I did not play any revenge" he sobs "....i am your innocent pearl, please..." he shuts his eyes tight
"...innocent pearl," forth gives a sad smile
He grips on the wet shoulder curling his fingers fisting the wet white fabric "...stand up beam,"
he is pulling him to stand, he stand to his knees forth left his wet grip, his shirt wrinkled and beam knees were trembling he cannot stand to his feet he braced a hand on the side white-tailed wall and leaned his wet shoulder to the tails, he went limp giving tear pooled eyes to forth he looks more worse than a beggar asking forth to believe him a bit
the vulnerable sight pained forth he held him properly to wall, he is asking with pained filled teary eyes "..why us?"
beam stood there, he is asking himself the same question since morning "..why us" his lips trembling,
forth leans his wet forehead to beam they were trembling they are crying their heart out, while forth cupping beam crying face "...what should we do now?" he asks looking deep into beam tear pooled eyes
beam shake his head in helplessness, with silent tears he is ready to crumble completely, he said "...I should have died,"
forth gasped for beam words looking to beam pain-filled teary eyes, he sees beam swallowing down his throat
"...then, my father would let your mae alive, he would not have rushed up for my surgery, if I died," he lips trembled "...I am nothing but a son who made his father a criminal, who killed my husband mother.. and now I am far worse than the least human being a slut..." he sobbed tears trailing down his cheeks his chest tighten his lungs were feeling difficult to breath, every breath he is taking is filled with guilt he was living on someone life he killed an innocent for a heart.
Even if he tried to breath, his lungs could not expand he narrowed his eyes to forth
Forth was getting sobered with beam words slapping on his face, he seems beam face churning in pain with quiet cascade of tears running down his face he is getting his nerves straight, beam knew nothing, he received a donor heart, the weight of what beam is going through is slapping on his face, beam closing his eyes ready to crumbled down to floor
Forth responded holding beam shoulder he pinned him to stand to his knees he looks to beam narrowed teary eyes "...breath,"
Beam trembled for the gentle hold, forth closed his eyes he could not take a look to his beloved being hurt and in pain, he silently took beam into his arms he laid him straight on bed, switching on the lights he gets to bed, beam curled up sobbing and gasping. Forth was only responding, he don't want to think on anything, he shuts his brain off, once he sees beam feeling difficult to breath and narrowed his eyes, he lost all his tenacious thoughts he started responding to beam
He brings towels and makes beam sit to bed post he is undoing the shirt buttons while beam heaving with teary eyes he hold forth fingers to stop him, forth swats his lifeless fingers and undo his shirt and pants, he is drying his skin and then brings a dryer he dries his hair while beam silently sits on bed crying his heart out, drying beam, he slips him underneath thick quilts and keeps him warm, still beam eyes are open he stares into the space with tears wetting into pillow
Forth sits at the edge of the bed his head hung down his wet hairs falling down leaking water drops his nostrils sniffing with tears dropping down his eyes he holds his head, his again sobbing, he cannot take this pain, he closes the bedroom door he walks to fridge he started drinking again he drink and drink until alcohol-filled in his every nerve his total system was running with alcohol he walks back to the room
he stripped off his wet clothes and slid beneath the covers, he spooned beam close to chest like he always do every night, he drops subtle kisses on neckline he loop his leg between beam cold legs
Beam for a second he closes his eyes and turn front, he sees forth aligning his lips to his he raises his head feeling the alcoholic breath he did not protest like he said forth alcoholic kisses were the best, he remember the first time in his house, they did the same, when beam was crying for his parents, forth did the same he kissed him
Forth kissing the lips by looping his leg over beam hip pulling him close he aligned his lips to beam he started his kissing the kiss was turning pretty much rough, they did not care they both were in sync to forget the pain, forget the day this had never happen between them, forth kissing him was repeating he did not pause until he went breathless
"take me, please," he pleads
Touching beam crying forehead he looks deep into beam oceanic eyes, no romantic word no filter flirting words only their needs one is being pretty much rough and the other keep silence over that, forth gives him all the love bites, but he could not moan or respond. His bottom was being torn for the rough fucking their no cherry smell, neither no raindrops, no chotabeam, no chotu, just sex to forget their pain, beam laid like a lifeless soul he looks to forth moving on top of him head moving to and fro with no emotions just plain, the wet silky hairs are occasionally dropping water drops on his chest beam eyes filled with tears while fingers gripping the bedsheets, this will be a long night for them.