I decided to clean and take care of my mug collection. I was indecisive about what order I wanted to arrange them. By color was a great choice, but by size was tempting. If I decided to go with sizes then, should they be going from decreasing to increasing? I was overwhelming my mind over the slightest thing because I didn't want to leave any void space for my current problems.
Although Julian ordered me to stay neutral about what he told me, my curiosity caught me, and I did my own little research. I went through some documents to see what company offered a negotiating term. Turnouts, a lot. I was blind to the truth, I thought Julian was my only rivalry, but more people were waiting for my fall.
Squatting on the floor, mugs, and glasses scattered across my kitchen. I stopped cleaning and was glaring at the empty living room. I shook my head to wake up myself. It wasn't the time to get distracted. But I couldn't get rid of this ball of fear sitting in my stomach. Every thought triggered my emotions. The excitement and envy I had all this year were fading away, and that scared me.
The ringing of my phone upstairs snapped me back to reality. I ran to my bedroom and picked up the phone on my bed. Mark's number displayed on the screen.
"Hey, Mark."
"All seven classes Xemina, you are falling all seven classes!"
Oh shit.
"Mark, I can explain-."
"There is nothing you can tell me that will explain why you are failing. That is ridiculous, you're ridiculous!" He shouted at me.
"I'm mentally drained, can't you see? I need a break. Please fly me out to the state for Thanksgiving." I begged.
"No! You don't deserve a break. Stop pretending to be exhausted. Don't you think I know about your quarrel at school?"
"I-."
"You are throwing away your academic learning. We did not send you to Trinity Fox to make friends and participate in bargains." He interrupted me furiously.
"I'm trying my best."
"And this is the problem. You shouldn't be trying your best. You should be the best! This is what your father would want, and right now, you are failing him."
"Don't say that..."
Ouch! My heart cracked hearing those words. I felt my body heating up then changed to coldness. My eyes started to burn, and tears were forming.
"I want those grades up this week! Or I will be forced to withdraw you from Trinity, sent you somewhere else, and revoke you from becoming the next CEO of Royal's Inc. because you failed to be responsible for your academic education and lack of competence."
"But Mark-."
He hung up on my face.
"THAT'S NOT FUCKING FAIR!" my phone flew to the wall, followed by my pillows, my sheets, and a chair. All the content on my vanity was on the floor. I sat next to my bed, my legs against my chest. I let the tears out.
"Come on, Xemina, you can't let this eat you up." I wiped my face but spread mascara everywhere on my face.
I got up to the floor and tiptoes through the mess I caused to get my phone, and it was gone. That last throw ripped off the screen.
Great.
I couldn't find my makeup remover and felt my frustration building another breakdown. I gave up. I couldn't care less about what people thought about my look. I didn't want to lose my dad's company. I didn't want to be a failure. If they withdrew me from the school, I didn't know what I would do. I didn't have any other plans, and this is all I got. I didn't have any other dreams. This was literally all my life.
Every step I took to the library, eyes were starring at me. Once inside, I gathered as many books as possible and checked them out as I turned around to leave; my eyes encountered Julian's. His facial expression was worried. I pushed him out of the way and I ran to my townhouse, where I drowned in my homework and studying hard until the following day and several headache pills.
~~~~~~~
Yikes! Somebody hasn't been focusing on school.
Do you think Mark is too harsh on her?
Q/ If you could change anything in this world, what would it be?