I am not the owner of any pictures or illustrations used for the purpose of this story. All characters and ideas belong to the writers of Supernatural. No copyright intended.
Castiel stood alone in the center of the old barn. Its once painted wood was faded and dry, he suspected no one had been in here in a long time. The ground was covered in a layer of dust and it settled on the top of his shoes as he paced. The angel was nervous and impatient waiting for his death to come, but he knew Dean would be here soon enough to give it to him. He sensed that he was close.
About a week back, Dean had gone out to do a hunt by himself insisting that he just needed some time to be alone and think. Sam thought that would be good for him, but he demanded that Dean kept him up to date with everything that happened. It wasn't anything complicated, according to Sam. Just burning the bones of some ghost and he would be headed back to the bunker. But Crowley found him, and in his possession he had the First Blade. And he gave it back to Dean. The hunter was furious by the demon's ignorance, but Crowley forced the Blade into Dean's hand only giving him further incentive to kill. And that is exactly what Dean did. He was scared and before he went dark side, he called Sam and left a voicemail. Castiel could still hear his trembling vibrato as he choked out every word.
"Sammy? Sam... It's me. I've done something bad, Sam. I-Crowley-he found me a-and he b-brought the Blade. He... he gave it to me and I just lost it. That bastard. He's dead, Sam. I killed the son of a bitch. And you know what that means. Find Cas, stay safe. I can feel the Mark starting to take over again. Just remember I love you no matter what, okay? Cas you too. I don't want to hurt either of you. Tell Cas... tell him I'm sorry. And Cas, if I try to hurt my brother you need to take me out, got that? 'Cause I know Sam won't do it. Please... I don't want to be that thing again."
That's what Cas should have done. Once Sam played that voicemail, he should have flew off and tracked down Dean and killed him. It's what he wanted; he just wanted it to be over. But Cas couldn't do that to him. He couldn't do that to the one man who, no matter how bad things got, always stood up for him, was always there for him, and who was always supporting him. Castiel couldn't do that to Dean.
But instead, Cas carted Sam off to a remote island in the Pacific that was hard to get to if you didn't know the right people or if you weren't an angel. Sam wanted him to stay. He didn't want them going off alone, especially now.
"Cas, why don't you stay? It'll be hard for him to find us and when he does, we can try to help him. And if that doesn't work... we'll do what we have to."
"Sam he can track me. I'm an angel and no matter how many wards we put up, he'll find me. The least I can do is have him follow me around for a while and distract him. We know the order he'll hunt us in. I could get us both killed if I stay."
So he left and ended up here. It was the barn where he had first been properly introduced to Dean Winchester (Hell had been pretty informal in the way of introductions). Castiel had burst through the barn doors, then Dean and Bobby began firing rounds and rounds of shotgun shells into him. The lights blew out as he walked towards them, sending a shower of sparks to bounce off his head and shoulders. When Castiel had revealed what he was, Dean didn't believe him. He had no faith. That was the problem with Dean, he always needed proof before he could accept something.
Castiel could almost smell him now. His scent was unpleasant, cloaked under the mask of demon smoke. He was getting closer.
If this is where he would die, Castiel wouldn't mind. In fact, it almost seemed right in a way. He had lived for a long time and truth be told, he was tired. Tired of failing, tired of watching the people he loved get hurt, and just tired from having no strength, no Grace. Castiel wanted peace.
And then, almost without warning, Dean burst through the doors, the First Blade hanging in his right hand. He stood there for a moment, savoring the astonished look on Castiel's face. Then he began to walk towards the angel, almost like a wolf stalking a deer, a hungry look in his eyes.
"Hello, Castiel," he said, his lips twisting into a maniacal smile.
Castiel couldn't even remember the last time Dean had called him by his full name. He could feel the cold metal of his angel blade pressed against his arm under his sleeve. He was itching to let it slide out into his finger tips and attack, but he decided to continue with the "talk first, kill later" act Dean was playing. Dean stopped about five feet from Cas, sizing him up.
"What, no hello to an old friend?"
"Hello, Dean," Cas said stiffly.
"Where's Sammy? I want to be able to finish him off right after I'm done with you."
"I should have killed you once you found the Blade again," Castiel said, once again being reminded of his mistake.
But Dean just laughed at him. It wasn't his usual warm laugh that Cas was accustomed to, it was cold. It didn't even sound like Dean. And that gave Castiel an idea.
"Cas, you couldn't kill Abaddon, what makes you thing that you could even come close to killing me?"
Castiel's eyes fell to Dean's arm. The Mark glowed and pulsed bright red, tiny, inflamed blood vessels winding from it to his hand where he held the First Blade. It almost looked like a poison was being pumped throughout his body.
"Where is my brother?" Dean asked for the second time.
"You won't find him," Castiel answered.
Dean's eyes filled in with a black, inky color and his smile turned into a scowl. Those eyes pierced through Cas, as if they were penetrating deep into his Grace, trying to squelch out everything that made him pure, angelic. He let his angel blade slide out of his sleeve into his hand. Dean rushed towards him and their blades met. Dean threw a punch to Cas's face but he ducked out of the way, twisting his blade from the grip of the First Blade. Dean came at him again, his vengeance almost unmatchable. Cas knew that he would be unable to kill him with the angel blade, he had to somehow get a hold of Dean's. Dean kicked Cas in the stomach, a blow that sent him flying back against the wall. Cas stood, a bit shaky on his legs, and he could feel his power waning.
"Still losing that angel mojo, Cas?" Dean taunted.
Cas didn't respond. He was growing weaker and the bad news was it was very obvious to Dean. Maybe he could sense it, or maybe Cas just looked that tired, that defeated. He was almost drained of his borrowed Grace and there was no Crowely to kill another angel for him to replenish his diminishing supply. And Cas was not going to do that himself.
Dean showed no mercy for the dying angel. He took Castiel's coat collar in his hands and punched Cas in the face relentlessly, until he dropped to his knees.
"Dean," Cas gasped, "please this isn't you, it's the Blade. It's poisoning you."
Dean just laughed and raised his fist again, preparing his for another blow.
"This Blade is my destiny, Cas. This is all me."
"No it's not. I knew Dean, the real Dean. And he didn't believeindestiny," Cas spat.
Dean's eyes melted back to their normal color and he pinched the bridge of his nose, groaning. Cas was getting through to him.
"Dean it's me. It's Cas. You wouldn't hurt me like this."
Dean looked down at him his eyebrows pressed together as if he was starting to register what he was doing.
"Dean I need you back. Sam needs you back. I-we're family. You two are all I've got and I can't lose you. Please, Dean, just seeme."
Dean dropped the Blade and dug his palms into his eyes. He groaned again, as if in some kind of pain, and dropped to the floor beside Cas.
"Dean!"
Cas leaned over him and flipped him onto his back. His finger fumbled to the side of Dean's neck searching for a pulse. Relief flooded him when he found it pounding steadily. Cas rocked back onto his heels and exhaled, calming himself. His eyes fround the Blade lying just inches from him. Cas didn't want to leave Dean alone knowing he could wake up any second and think that he was abandoned. But then again, Dean may not have changed and getting the First Blade as far from him as possible was the smart thing to do.
He grasped the bone hilt and flew to an abandoned mine in Colorado. He would find a better place later. Cas tossed it into an old mine cart and then quickly returned to Dean. To his relief, he was still unconscious.
What should I do now? Cas wondered. Should I call Sam and tell him what happened? Or should I wait for Dean to wake up?
Knowing Sam would want answers and that he had none to give, Cas decided to try and wake Dean. Unsure how to rouse him, he nudged his shoulder. When Dean didn't respond, he began to shake him. Dean groaned and his eyelids fluttered open.
"C-Cas?"
"Dean! Are you alright?"
"My head..." Dean's face contorted in pain.
"Shhhh," Cas said. "Shhhh, it's alright. I've got you." He squeezed Dean's shoulder.
"Help me up."
"Are you sure?" Cas asked warily.
"Dammit, Cas, yeah I'm sure," Dean insisted.
Castiel stood and helped Dean to his feet. He swung Dean's arm over his shoulder so he could support him more easily and they walked towards the doors. They had almost made it when Dean stumbled and Cas lost his balance. He caught him just in time, holding him over his knee, just inches from the ground. Dean smiled up at him and raised his hand to Cas's face, tracing his jaw bone with his thumb. The contact sent shivers down Cas's spine.
"Thanks," Dean said.
Cas smiled and he felt Dean's hand slide to the back of his neck. What is he doing? He soon found out. He pulled Cas's head down and their lips met. Cas's eyes were wide open, taken completely by surprise. Dean pulled away, his face flushed with obvious embarrassment.
"Sorry... I don't know what-"
Cas leaned down to cut him off pressing his lips to Dean's, letting him know that he didn't care, nor did he mind. Dean kissed back, opening Cas's mouth with his tongue and running his fingers through his hair. Cas liked how soft Dean's lips were and the feel of his course stubble rubbing against his own. Cas pulled away and smiled down at Dean, still lying in his embrace.
"Cas, I, it-"
"Was about damn time," Cas finished and Dean laughed.
It was his real laugh, jubilant and full of life. His skin crinkled around his green eyes. His eyes.
"Dean. Are you still..."
Dean's eyes flicked black and then back to normal, as if he were ashamed of showing Cas the darkness behind them. Cas sighed, Dean was still a demon. But he was no longer under the influence of the Blade so maybe...
"The Mark?"
Dean lifted his arm and Cas watched, amazed, as The Mark of Cain melted into his skin.
"You beat it, Dean!" Cas exclaimed. He traced his fingers down Dean's arm, feeling it being absorbed back into his skin. "You beat the Mark!"
Dean smiled but it was gone quickly.
"But I'm still a demon."
Cas shook his head. "We can fix that. We know how to cure demons, remember?"
Dean chuckled and Cas hugged him, burying his face into Dean's neck.
"We should call Sam," Dean noted and Cas nodded in agreement. Sam would want to know about this.
"Let's get you back to the bunker. Then we can call Sam."
***
Dean was nervous as the phone rang. He hoped Sam would pick up. They were calling from Cas's phone knowing that if Sam saw Dean's name on the screen, it might set off alarm bells.
"Hello?" Sam said.
"Sam, it's Cas."
"Yeah, I know. I can see your name on the screen," Sam said. Dean could hear the smile in his voice.
"I'm here with your brother. He beat the Mark. It's over."
"Dean?"
"Hiya, Sammy," Dean said.
"Dean, are you okay?" Sam asked.
"I'm fine and in one piece thanks to Cas here," Dean said taking Cas's hand and giving it a soft squeeze. He heard Sam breathe a sigh of relief.
"Wait... how do I know that this isn't a trap?" Sam asked.
Dean's heart sank. He was thankful his brother was smart, but it made him sad that Sam needed some kind of proof.
"I will come and get you," Cas said. "If Dean was holding me captive he would never let me leave knowing I would just try to escape."
"True," Sam said.
Suddenly, Dean's hand was empty when Cas disappeared to go and grab Sam. In a second they were both standing in front of him.
"See?" Dean said, holding up his right arm. "No Mark!"
Sam laughed and ran to come and hug him. Dean held him tight not being able to believe that he had actually wanted to hurt him. Again. Sam let go, a smile spread across his face.
"So what happened?" he asked.
"Uh, well, I came storming into the building that Cas was in and attacked him. I beat him pretty good."
His eyes shifted to the angel's now repaired face. Just a touch of Castiel's hand and he was all good. But Dean worried that he was exhausting the supply of his Grace too quickly. What would happen once it was all gone?
"And then he reminded me who I was. I got this massive headache and my arm felt like it was on fire and I blacked out."
"While he was unconscious I hid the Blade," Cas took over. "When I came back, Dean was still unresponsive but I woke him up. Then I flew us both back here to call you." Dean was thankful he left out the part about the kiss.
"So you're better?" Sam asked.
Dean shifted uncomfortably. He knew he had to tell Sam, but he was worried about what his brother might say. How many times can you cure a demon?
"Not exactly," Dean said.
Sam's eyebrows pulled together and his lips pursed, he was doing that confused puppy dog look Dean had grown so accustomed to. Rather than just telling his brother, he let his eyes fill with the inky blackness that was his own tainted soul. Sam gasped and stepped away from him.
"Your still a demon?"
"Thought that I made it a bit obvious."
Sam frowned, annoyed by Dean's answer.
"Can we cure him, Cas?" Sam asked.
Cas shifted uncomfortably. Dean knew that he didn't know.
"We should be able to," he finally answered.
"Okay, let's do this thing," Dean said clapping his hands together.
Cas insisted that they still restrain Dean. The demon part of him might start to resist and The Mark of Cain may still be able to take control. Sam drew a devil's trap on the floor and pulled out a comfy chair to tie Dean to. At least he was being thoughtful. Cas brought back a bunch of blood from a blood bank, but he looked terrible and much weaker. His Grace wasn't going to last him much longer.
Dean sat down in the chair when his brother told him to. He had a meal about a half hour ago, so he should be good throughout the eight hours that he was being cured. Cas stood off to the side as Sam wrapped some rope around Dean, his face unreadable. Dean hated not being able to know what Cas was thinking. Sam took out a syringe, the blood inside almost looked black. He stepped towards him and plunged it into his neck. Dean screamed. The blood began to course through his veins burning like a potent acid. Sam looked concerned as he watched Dean convulse and breath heavily. He did not want another dose of that stuff.
"Dean? Dean are you okay?" Sam asked.
Dean groaned and unclenched his fists, his hands had turned purple and his knuckles were stiff. He felt sore all over and his headache was back. He let his eyes go dark, hoping that would relax the pain.
"No Sam, I'm not. I feel like I'm being fucking poisoned."
Sam stepped back. Dean knew his brother hated seeing his black eyes, but at this point he didn't care. He didn't want to go through this process.
"You are being poisoned Dean," Cas said, "Human blood is not good for demons."
Dean made a noise that came deep from the back of his throat, like a growl. He could still feel the blood eating away at him. He felt sick, like the one time he had food poisoning. Except a thousand times worse.
Dean-"
"Maybe it's best we leave him alone for the hour," Cas said, taking Sam's arm. Sam nodded and Dean was relieved. He didn't know if he could make it through this with Sam asking him how he felt every five minutes. Obviously he felt like shit. This wasn't supposed to feel good. They left Dean alone and he decided to take the opportunity to sleep. After all, what else was he going to do while he was tied to a chair?
Sam woke him up exactly an hour later and without warning, plunged the needle into his neck. Dean hissed and convulsed again, the pain writhing through him. He wrapped his fingers around the arms of the chair and breathed in heavily through his nose. Sam shot Cas a worried look.
"I. Am. Done. With. This. Shit," Dean said.
"Dean, that's the demon in you talking. It'll be all over soon, you'll be human again," Cas answered.
Dean groaned and let his head fall. He heard feet shuffle and a hand rested on his shoulder.
"Dean?" he heard Sam say.
"I'm good," Dean managed.
"Cas, what if we're killing him?"
Cas didn't answer for a while. Dean raised his eyes seeing him deep in thought. Worry was all over the angel's face. Dean knew he wasn't sure if they should be doing this again, considering it had almost killed him the last time.
"No, he will be fine. He is reacting the same way he did the last time," Cas answered.
Sam nodded slowly, but there was still uncertainty spread across his face.
"Hang in there, Dean," he said. "See you in an hour."
Dean nodded slowly and watched them leave. His body was exhausted from fighting the human blood and he was sleeping again before he knew it. Dean awoke an hour later to not his brother's voice, but Castiel's.
"Cas? Where's Sam?"
"Asleep," Cas answered, getting the syringe ready.
Dean's face crinkled as he anticipated the sting of the needle being plunged into his skin. Cas placed his fingers lightly on Dean's neck, sending his shivers down his spine. And then the needle entered his skin. He felt the blood flow into his body and the pain seemed to have magnified from the last time. Dean didn't really remember the first time he had been cured so had no idea if this feeling was normal. But Cas stayed there, stroking his arm and squeezing his hand and Dean was grateful. He passed out again before he knew it.
Dean barely remembered the rest of the cure. His brain was so foggy and he was tired, hungry, and thirsty. After it was over, Sam shook him awake.
"Dean?"
His eyes fluttered open and relief washed over his brother's face.
"How're you feeling?" he asked.
"Like shit," Dean answered.
"Are you cured?"
Dean tried to let his eyes fill up with the darkness but he couldn't. It must have worked. He was human again, thank God.
"Yeah, yeah I think so."
Sam began to untie the ropes and let them drop to the floor. Dean stood up, a little wobbly on his feet, but he moved forward and passed right through the devil's trap painted on the floor. He breathed a sigh of relief.
"Well I'm starving," Dean said.
Sam laughed.
"Is that really so surprising?" Dean asked.
Sam shook his head. "Nah, but only you would have an appetite after that."
They walked to the kitchen and Dean sat down at the table. Sam made him some grilled cheeses and placed down a glass of milk. Dean bit into the toasty bread and strings of gooey cheese followed the sandwich as he placed it back on his plate so he could take a sip of milk.
"Where's Cas?" He wondered aloud.
Sam shrugged. "I don't know, actually."
Dean put down the glass of milk, suddenly concerned. "I'm gonna go find him."
"Dean, he's probably fine," Sam said.
Dean wasn't sure about that. Had Sam really not noticed how sick Cas looked? How completely exhausted he was? Dean walked out of the kitchen to the library, the first place he could think of that Cas might be. He entered the room and saw a heap on the floor. And that heap was Castiel.
"Cas!" Dean said, rushing to his side.
"Sammy? Sam get in here, now!" Dean yelled.
He turned Cas onto his back and shook him. Dean heard heavy footsteps and saw Sam rush in.
"Cas can you hear me?" He asked.
"Dean move," Sam ordered, pushing him aside.
Dean watched as Sam frantically searched for a pulse.
"He's breathing," Sam said.
Dean exhaled, relieved.
"He must have just gone unconscious, which is odd."
"He's losing his Grace, would that cause it?" Dean asked.
"Maybe. I'm not really sure. But for right now we should lay him down somewhere."
"He can have my room," Dean offered.
"Fine. Help me carry him," Sam said.
Dean lifted Cas by his shoulders and Sam took his legs. They carried him to Dean's room and set him down as gently as possible on his bed.
"I think I'll stay with him," Dean said.
A puzzled look passed over Sam's face. "Uh, okay, do you want your sandwiches?"
"That'd be great, Sammy."
Dean stayed by Cas's side all night. Once and a while the angel would move or make a noise but other than that, he was dead to the world. And Dean was worried. He cared about Cas, now even more so now that they were... well Dean didn't really know what they were. All he knew is that they were more than friends.
Cas moaned and his eyes fluttered open. Dean smiled and sat down next to him on the bed.
"Hey," he said.
"Hey," Cas responded, his voice gravly.
"What happened?"
"I'm not sure. I don't usually sleep. I think my power is waning."
"We'll fix this," Dean assured him.
Cas smiled. "I appreciate your concern, Dean, but there's not much you can do for me."
That stung. Dean had done so much in his life. Hell, he'd even been a demon once or twice. He was going to get Cas's Grace back.
"I can talk to Metatron."
"Dean, the last thing he will do is-"
"Cas I don't give a fuck!" Dean yelled and Cas flinched.
He lowered his voice, not wanting Sam to come and interrupt their conversation. He took a deep breath and apologized.
"I'm sorry, Cas, this is just so frustrating for me."
"I know."
"I just want you to know that no matter what I have to do, I will get you your Grace back. Fuck, Cas, I can't lose you, not now and not ever."
Cas smiled, he face flushing a bit.
"C'mere," Dean said.
He lifted Cas's head a bit and kissed him on the lips. He smelled and tasted so good, like cinnamon and watermelon. An odd but yet delicious combination. Dean pulled away and smiled down at the angel. His angel.
"Sleep," he said.
Cas obeyed and closed his eyes. Dean layed down down beside him. His door was closed but he still worried that Sam might come in. Hell, what did Dean care? Sam could think what he wanted. Besides, his brother would find out about them sooner or later. Cas pressed his body closer to Dean's and Dean draped his arm over him. This was something he could get used to.