A/N: I'm backkkkkkkkkkkk. Did ya miss me? Anyways I'm doing much better than when I had left. I'm working on a lot for you guys and just with things in general so updates will be slower than they were back in like November and December. I just need some time to get back into things.
This one is shorter than the rest of my stuff but I think it's a fitting way for me to come back.
"You're cold."
With your short replies to those around you, curt nods, and short smiles, she wasn't too far off. She was referring to the small shiver she had watched roll down your spine. It seemed every time the two of you spoke the temperature lowered.
"You never seem to be." You set two shot glasses down on the table she was sitting at. Nat smirked from her chair across from you. "I'm Russian, I don't get cold." You hummed and sat down in the unoccupied seat. She always said that.
"If I recall correctly," You took hold of the bottle of vodka you had set on the table earlier. It wasn't your drink of choice until you had met Nat. "On particularly cold nights you tend to cling to me like a koala."
Her smirk widened into a grin. "Just because I'm not cold doesn't mean I don't like when you hold me." You shook your head and filled each shot glass before setting the bottle down. "It helps me sleep." She added.
"This helps me sleep." You knocked back the shot and immediately relished in the warm burn of it in your chest. "Talking about me or the vodka?" Nat asked with a playful hint in her voice. A humorless chuckle left you. "Both. It's warm," You poured another before downing it in a similar fashion to the first. "Numbing."
She tilted her head. "Numbing to what?" You shrugged and stared at the empty glass somberly. You needed another. "The cold."
Natasha laughed gleefully while you poured yourself another. "So you are cold." She teased, narrowing her green eyes at you. "Never said I wasn't." You knocked back another shot; it was becoming alarmingly easy.
"Maybe you should cut back," Nat offered. "You do this almost every night." You had this conversation almost every night too. Your response was always the same.
"I'm coping." Nat didn't even resist the urge to roll her like she usually did. "We all cope, Y/N. You've never been in this deep."
You scoffed. "The assignment has never been this hard." Nat sighed and leaned against her palm almost as if she was tired of this conversation. You knew she was. "Hard? We've fought Thanos."
"And lost."
"But then we won."
Your face twisted into one of anger and pain. "But at what cost, Natasha?" Your eyes flicked to her's. You didn't miss how they widened slightly before returning to their normal size. You couldn't stand to look at them. You looked away and glared at the wooden table in front of you. "At what cost?"
Natasha pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. She hated seeing you like this; in so much pain. She reached across the table and placed her hand on top of yours. You jumped at the contact, a cold rush running through you.
Your eyes snapped to the empty chair across from you. After a moment, when the shock wore off, you shook your head. Picking up the bottle, you poured yourself another shot. An empty laugh left you before you raised it to your lips and knocked it back.
"You need to stop speaking to ghosts, Y/N." You sighed to yourself.