People stain us in the most beautiful and haunting ways possible - Nick Frederickson
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Martin's POV
"Are you okay?"
Hindi ko tinapunan ng tingin si Declan na nagda-drive para sa akin. After a month of recovery, masakit pa rin ang tama ng bala sa dibdib ko. Hindi man ako napuruhan pero dinadaing ko pa rin ang sakit at hirap pa akong igalaw ang kaliwang braso ko.
"Dude, are you sure you want to do this?" Seryoso na ngayon ang boses niya.
Napahinga ako ng malalim. Am I sure? No. I am not sure. I don't want to be sure. The truth, I don't want to do this. Because I don't want to believe it was true.
Pakiramdam ko ay sumikip ang dibdib ko nang pumasok ang sasakyan sa sementeryo. Kailangan ko pang huminga ng malalim ng ilang beses. Para akong masusuka. Para akong kinakapos ng paghinga. Napahawak ako sa dibdib ko dahil pakiramdam ko ay sumasakit ang dating sugat doon.
"Ted, I think we should go back. You're not yet ready." Ramdam ko ang lungkot sa boses ni Declan.
Umiling ako. "And when will I be ready?" Ngumiti ako ng mapakla sa kanya tapos ay bumaba sa kotse. Kinuha ko mula sa backseat ang bungkos ng bulaklak.
"Do you want me to go with you?" Sumilip sa akin si Declan pero umiling ako.
"I'll be fine. Wait for me here." Tinalikuran ko na siya. Lumakad ako at hinanap ang puntod na dapat kong puntahan.
Pakiramdam ko ay ay nanginig ang buong katawan ko nang matagpuan ko ang hinahanap ko. Napakaraming mga bulaklak sa paligid ng lapida. Malinis na malinis din ang paligid. Halatang alaga sa linis. May nakasinding kandila at may picture frame na nakapatong sa isang gilid.
Lumuhod ako at inayos ang mga bulaklak na naroon. Itinabi ko sa gilid. Ipinalit ko malapit sa frame ang bulaklak na dala ko.
"I don't know what your favorite flowers are. I never had the chance to ask you," napa-ehem ako dahil pakiramdam ko ay may nakabarang kung ano sa lalamunan ko. "I brought every kind. But the stargazers are the best. They look good. They smell good. Just like you."
Kinuha ko ang isang tangkay ng white stargazer lily mula sa bungkos ng mga bulaklak na dala ko at inamoy iyon.
"I missed you." Naupo ako sa harap ng puntod. Nag-indian sit habang tini-trace ko ang mga ukit sa pangalan ng lapida. Nag-iinit ang mga mata ko habang ginagawa iyon. Hanggang sa hindi ko na matiis ang pagpipigil ay napayuko at umaalog na ang balikat ko.
How many times I cried like this when I learned what happened? There were so many why's. There were so many questions. It was so unfair. This fucking life was so unfair.
Why Elodie? Why does she have to be taken away from me? Was that my ultimate karma? I cheated death so many times just to endure this pain? Because of what I did, they took the one that was so precious for me? I already gave up my old life. Fuck, I gave up my family just to have a new start. Only to have this kind of misery?
I could still remember that day. It was so vivid. Jorge was trying to rape her, but Gabriel came. And when we thought that everything was over, we didn't expect that Jorge was still alive and pulled the trigger. Shooting Elodie on her back.
Wala akong magawa noon. Nabaril din ako at hinang-hina pa sa dami ng gamot na isinaksak sa akin. Naalala ko lang ang pagdating ng mga tao sa paligid. They were trying to revive Elodie. Gave her first aid, but I knew they were already late. Nagwawala na noon si Gabriel kaya napilitan ang mga EMT na dumating na ilabas siya. Some people tend to me too. Tried to patch me up, but I kept on telling them to save Elodie first. I don't care if I die that day. Si Elodie lang ang importante sa akin. Ang mabuhay siya. I could give my life in exchange for her.
Sa ospital ko na nalaman ang totoong nangyari. I woke up in my hospital room and found Cesar was there. He was the one told me that we both lost Elodie.
She didn't survive the shooting. Hindi ko na maintindihan ang mga details na sinasabi ni Cesar pero iisa ang tumatak sa isip ko.
Elodie was dead.
I felt I died that moment. We had so many plans together. I could still hear her laugh. Her whines. I could still feel her touch. But all those will become a memory because of the truth that she won't never come back.
Mabilis kong pinahid ang luha ko.
"Why, Elodie? Why do you have to leave? I told you not to close your eyes." Ngumiti ako ng mapakla. "I am healing. I am getting better. But I don't want to get better." Muli ay nabasag ang boses ko. "Why you're so unfair? You said we will start over, and I wanted to do it with you. I want to have kids with you. I want to grow old and die with you. Why?"
Umayos ako ng upo nang maramdaman kong may taong nakatayo sa likuran ko. Usually kapag ganito, automatic na dudukot na ako ng baril. Pero ngayon, wala akong kahit na anong baril sa katawan. Wala din akong pakialam kung papatayin man ako ng kung sino ngayon. I am willing to die if someone was going to kill me today.
If that was the only way to be with Elodie.
"Martin."
Natawa ako ng mapakla. I knew that voice. Nakita kong may bulaklak din na inilapag sa harap ng puntod ni Elodie.
"I am so sorry for what happened. God knows I tried everything to save her."
Damang-dama ko din ang lungkot sa boses niya. Naramdaman kong naupo siya sa tabi ko. Pinabayaan ko lang. Ngayon pa ba ako magseselos sa kanya? At least, sa ganitong paraan I could share Elodie to him.
"I know how hard it is for you, because I am feeling the same." Sabi pa ni Gabriel.
No. We don't feel the same. Gusto ko iyong isagot sa kanya pero pinigil ko ang sarili ko. I could let him mourn for her death. We both lost the woman that we love, and we were both drowning in pain.
"She doesn't deserve this." Sabi pa ni Gabriel. This time ay galit na ang nararamdaman ko sa boses niya. "
"Well at least, the monsters that did this to her are all gone." Pakunswelo ko sa sarili ko. "How are you holding up?" Ngayon ay tumingin na ako sa kanya.
Nagkibit-balikat si Gabriel. "Chasing bad guys."
Natawa ako ng mapakla. "Good for you. At least you have the right to do that."
"But it was never the same." Napahinga siya ng malalim. "Chasing bad guys, putting them in jail. But I still never felt good. Because I know there was still someone out there responsible for her death."
Hindi ako kumibo. Alam ko ang sinasabi niya. Matthias was still alive and on the loose. Nang malaman nito ang nangyari kay Jorge ay bigla na lang itong nawala. Pinabayaan ang lahat ng mga ari-arian. Dahil alam nitong hina-hunting ito ni Cesar Valderama.
Dapat ang ginagawa ko ay hina-hunting din si Matthias. Dapat ay hindi ako titigil hangga't hindi ko siya natatagpuan. At kapag natagpuan ko siya, dapat ang gagawin ko ay i-torture siya ng matindi. Iyong tipong magmamakaawa siya sa akin na patayin ko na lang siya.
Pero wala ng kuwenta ang mga iyon sa akin. He run away, it's fine. Kasi kahit matagpuan ko naman siya at patayin, hindi rin naman maibabalik ang buhay ni Elodie.
"I am trying to look for him. I am doing investigations, but no leads. Ang galing magtago ni Matthias." Sabi pa ni Gabriel.
"Do what you have to do." Tumayo na ako at ganoon din ang ginawa niya. Magkaharap na kami ngayon at hindi katulad ng dati na sa tuwing magkakaharap kami ay para kaming laging nagsusukatan. Laging parang magsusuntukan. Ngayon ay kalmado kami pareho.
"I should arrest you," alam kong nang-aasar lang si Gabriel.
"Then I will kill you." Kaswal na sagot ko.
"I'll kill you first." Mayabang na sagot niya.
"Try." Hamon ko.
Ngayon ay walang nagsasalita sa aming dalawa at nagsusukatan lang kami ng tingin. Alam ko naman na walang tensiyon sa pagitan namin. Elodie was the reason why we hated each other, and Elodie was also the reason why we were in here. Face to face with each other, both mourning for losing her. I think Gabriel was a good person. We just started on the wrong foot.
Pero ngumiti na siya at inilahad ang kamay sa akin. Iniabot ko naman at nagkamayan kaming dalawa.
"It's good to see you alive." Sabi niya.
Tumango lang ako at bumitaw na sa kamay niya tapos ay kapwa na kami tumalikod sa isa't-isa. Pero hinintay ko lang siyang makalayo bago ako bumalik ako sa puntod ni Elodie.
"I love you. I know you still want me to start over. And I'll keep my promise. I will start over to have a fresh start." Hinalikan ko ang dalawang daliri ko tapos ay idinikit iyon sa puntod niya bago ako umalis.
Nagtatanong ang tingin ni Declan nang bumalik ako sa kotse tapos ay tinapunan niya ng tingin ang papaalis na kotse ni Gabriel.
"That's it?" Takang tanong niya.
Kumunot ang noo ko. "That's what?"
"Walang suntukan na nangyari? Si Silva 'yon 'di ba?" Paniniguro niya.
Natawa ako. "We're good. I said I want a fresh start. That's my promise to Elodie." Napahinga ako ng malalim. "I intend to do it. When can I start?"
Nagtatanong ang tingin niya sa akin. "Ng ano?"
"Torturing people again."
"Akala ko ba fresh start na?"
"Yes. New tortures. Fresh one."
Ngayon ay natawa na siya at nag-drive na paalis doon.
"I'll call Ghost."
Hindi na ako kumibo at ipinikit ang mata ko. Because in there, Elodie was still alive. Smiling at me.
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Gabriel's POV
I lied to Martin.
Nang sabihin ko sa kanya na wala akong lead kung nasaan si Matthias, nagsinungaling ako.
Dahil nasa akin ang lahat ng files kung saan ko siya matatagpuan. Kung ano ang daily routines niya. Kung ano ang bagong negosyong pinapasok niya. I even knew how many bodyguards he has right now in his house. Five. Two on the gate. One on the front door. Two guarding his backyard.
From the scope of my rifle, I could see that he was living like a king in his new home. He changed his name. Falsified documents to have a new identity. Akala niya ay nakaligtas na siya. Yes. He had a month of safety from Cesar Valderama. I've heard that Mr. Valderama hired people to kill Matthias. Pinabayaan ko lang. The old man was grieving for what happened to her daughter, and if that was his coping mechanism to move on from her death, then I'll let it be. We have different ways of coping with loss. Martin became different. Distant. He lost the drive to get the last person who crossed Elodie. Mr. Valderama chose the revenge side.
But me, I became different.
Her death opened my eyes to something.
That being the good guy sometimes will get you on the losing team.
And I don't want to be on the losing team anymore. I wanted to up my game. That's why I didn't stop until I find the last son of a bitch that made Elodie suffer.
Inayos ako ang pagkaka-position ko mula sa katapat na bahay na tinutuluyan ni Matthias. Sa scope ay nakikita ko siyang nakatayo sa kuwarto niya at may kausap sa telepono. Idinikit ko ang earpiece sa tainga ko para marinig kung sino ang kausap niya. I planted bugs inside his home days ago para malaman ko kung anong ginagawa niya.
Kaya alam ko ngayon na maghapon lang siya dito. Hinihintay niya ang pagdating ng lawyer niya para maayos nila ang pagta-transfer ng negosyo niya sa bagong katauhan niya.
Napangisi ako. Ulol. Iyon ang akala niya.
I positioned my finger on the trigger of my sniper rifle. Tried to calm my breath while I was waiting for the right moment to pull the trigger.
Matthias walked towards the window on his room. Still talking to phone. Arguing with his lawyer. I aimed for his head. Right in between his eyes.
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. A voice in my head was telling me not to do this. I'd cross the line if I would. But my heart was beating fast. The nerves inside my body were pumped. I couldn't stop this.
I counted ten backwards. Until I reached three... two...
... one.
A loud bang echoed around. Birds flew from the trees.
And then I saw Matthias Baldomero lying on the ground.
With a single bullet in between his eyes.
Trust me. I can give you a new and better life. And the adrenaline rush is the best part.
I can still remember those words. True enough, that was what I was feeling right now. The adrenaline that was pumping inside my body was giving me a euphoric satisfaction that I never felt before.
Naririnig ko ang pagkakagulo sa bahay ni Matthias dini-disassemble ko ang sniper rifle at ibinabalik sa bag. Dinukot ko ang wallet sa pantalon ko at kinuha ang isang calling card doon. Idinayal ko ang number na tanging nakasulat sa piraso ng papel na iyon.
"You changed your mind?"
Ramdam kong parang inaasahan na ng sumagot doon ang tawag ko. This son of a bitch named Ghost. Even the tone of his voice was sending shivers down to my spine.
"Is there still a slot in your team?" Dinukot ko ang police badge ko at tinitingnan iyon.
Narinig kong tumawa ang nasa kabilang linya.
"There will always be a slot for you, Riel."
Napahinga ako ng malalim.
"Would that be okay if I call you Riel? I think I like that name for you." Sabi pa nito.
"Whatever. When can I start?" Nanatili akong nakatingin sa police badge ko.
"Anytime. I'll give you a call for your first case."
Hindi na ako sumagot at pinatayan ko na siya ng call. Isinukbit ko ang bag ko at umalis na doon. Kaswal akong naglakad sa tapat ng bahay ni Matthias at nagkakagulo na ang mga tao. Natawa ako at dire-diretsong naglakad. Nang may madaanan akong basurahan ay itinapon ko doon ang police badge ko.
I won't be needing that anymore to my new job.