"No, it's just a little itchy." Jennie didn't dare turn around. At this moment, from head to toe, she felt strange.
She really lost herself. How could she be like this? Jennie bit the pillow. She looked ugly and complained.
When Lisa heard that Jennie was okay, she couldn't help but touched her with her hand again.
Jennie suddenly jumped up and yelled back behind her: "Don't touch it."
"..." Lisa had already withdrawn her hand. At this time, she stared blankly at Jennie.
Jennie blushed. She knew her reaction was a little big, but she didn't know what was wrong with her. As soon as Lisa's fingers touched her waist, she couldn't bear it. No, it can't be said it felt uncomfortable, that is, the body had the uncontrollable feeling of XXX, which made her feel a little uncomfortable and shameful.
It's strange. Why didn't I know my waist was so sensitive before ah.
"I'm ... sorry." Lisa has never seen a fierce and loud Jennie. After a long time of being dazed, she remembered to apologize.
"No, it's not you, it's ... it's so itchy. I couldn't help it at that moment." Jennie hurriedly explained.
"I'm sorry." Lisa still apologized.
"I said it, it has nothing to do with you. You didn't hurt me just now."
"It's blue."
"What?" Jennie hesitated for a while before reacting. Lisa was talking about her waist, "It's all right, it doesn't hurt, my skin is already white. It's easy for it to turn blue. It will be fine in two days. "
Lisa nodded, but she couldn't get rid of the slightly blued skin in her mind. The blue color was so dazzling on Jennie's white back.
"I'll ... I'll..." Lisa wanted to say that she will never get an episode again, but she was very clear in her mind that this matter was beyond her control. "When my condition happens in the future. Don't worry about me."
As long as Jennie wasn't near her during her onset, she won't hurt her.
"No." Jennie refused to think about it and wanted to say something when she was in the hospital.
Lisa was stunned and raised her head incomprehensibly. she didn't understand why Jennie refused her request. When she had an onset, she couldn't control her emotions and movements. she didn't want to hurt Jennie. she didn't want Jennie to hate her. she was afraid that Jennie couldn't stand her condition and would leave her.
"Lisa, why did you propose to me?" Jennie knew that Lisa didn't understand, so she guided her patiently.
"Because, I want you to be my partner." Lisa once answered this question to Jennie.
"Yes, everyone needs a partner, because partners can accompany each other and take care of each other." Jennie said, "Do you know what each other means? It means that when one side is in trouble, the other side will show up to help them. I'm your partner. If I don't care about you when you're having an episode, I'm not qualified to be your partner. An unqualified partner is not needed. Finally, they will divorce their other half. Do you want to divorce me?"
Lisa shook her head in horror. she didn't, she didn't want to divorce Jennie.
"Since you don't want to, you won't be able to say that again." Jennie demanded.
"But ... When I had an episode, I couldn't control myself. I don't want to hurt you."
Lisa didn't want Jennie to divorce her, and she didn't want to hurt Jennie. she didn't want to choose either option. she was a little upset and didn't know what to do.
From Lisa's simple thought process, she has never been so entangled, like a small animal trapped at a crossroad looking around blankly, not knowing which direction to go, in order to avoid the cars.
"Take a deep breath, take a deep breath, Lisa, calm down." Jennie realized that Lisa's mood was suddenly wrong again and was shocked. She never thought her words would cause Lisa's mood to fluctuate so much. She cried out Lisa's name, trying to call her back from her mind, but Lisa was trapped in her own conscience.
Jennie had no choice but to mimic Grandma Manoban's appearance from the past, she forcibly held Lisa's head, so their foreheads touched and forced her eyes to look at her own.
"Lisa, it's Jennie. Look at me, look at me." Jennie shouted again and again, finally, Lisa seemed to recognize the girl in front of her, her breathing gradually calmed down, then her empty and anxious eyes regained its focus.
"Jennie ~~" Lisa called Jennie's name. Sweat dripped down from her cheek and her face was full of fatigue.
"Close your eyes and calm down."
Lisa closed her eyes obediently and let her weight rest on Jennie's forehead. she liked the touch and the distance between them at this time, as if every breath she took was the smell of Jennie. This let her feel at ease and she no longer felt tired.
"I ... did you almost get lost again?"
After a long time, when Jennie thought Lisa fell asleep, Lisa suddenly made a sound. her voice was light and slow, obviously has broken away from the anxiety she revealed just now, but her mood wasn't very good, and she looked a little depressed.
Jennie took a deep breath, released her hand and let Lisa look at her directly, then showed a big smile.
"Look, you didn't hurt me just now." Jennie said in surprise.
"..." Lisa stared blankly at Jennie.
"You see, although you almost had an episode just now, you didn't hurt me. You controlled it." Jennie continued, "This means that you're not out of control every time you have an onset. You can control it by yourself, right?"
Lisa listened blankly. she had a good memory since she was a child. she almost never forgets things, but every time she had an onset, her memory would become very fuzzy. she couldn't remember whether she had taken the initiative to control her emotions before, but even if she had, it must have been only a few times, otherwise grandma wouldn't have been so worried.
"Before in the hospital, you told me that you acted that way because of the strange noise from that lamp. Did you head hurt because of that noise?" Jennie saw Lisa was silent, and continued to guide her patiently.
Lisa nodded.
"Then, did it trigger you as soon as you heard it, or did you get upset after hearing it for a while?"
"Listened for a while." Lisa lost her way, but she always worked hard to endure, but no matter how long she endured, she eventually lost her mind.
"Then if we had turned off the lights when we first heard the sound, would you still have gotten upset?" Jennie asked.
Lisa shook her head.
"This is the solution. I will turn off the lights for you in the future." Jennie said.
Lisa looked at Jennie quietly.
"Lisa, let's make a promise." Jennie said, "I don't want to divorce you, and you don't want to hurt me, right?"
"En." Lisa nodded heavily.
"Then we will make a promise. If you feel uncomfortable in the future, you should tell me right away. If another lamp makes a strange sound, I'll turn it off for you. If there's something else I can't fix, I'll hold you like I did just now, so you won't get upset." Jennie asked expectantly, "Ok?"
"I don't want you to hate me." Lisa said with difficulty.
"Why do you think I'll hate you?" Jennie didn't understand. Why did Lisa think that she would hate her? This wasn't the first time she told her that she would hate her.
"Grandma said ..." Lisa said, "Not everyone can tolerate my condition indefinitely, so I have to work hard to control my emotions and try to minimize the incidence so that others won't hate me. In this way, I can live by myself after she leaves. In this way, after I have a partner, my partner won't hate me."
Compared to the moment when she proposed, Lisa has spoken eloquently, but she spoke in such an articulate manner that it caused Jennie to be extremely uncomfortable.
"I don't want you to hate me. I'm afraid you will ignore me for a long time, just like before."
Jennie held back her sour nose and asked, "When did I ignore you for a long time?"
"When I graduated from high school." Lisa said, "That day you came to my house and I was sick, and grandma asked you to go, then you didn't show up all summer. Later, when you went to college, you visited less often."
Jennie remembered that day was the day when the college entrance examination scores came out. She studied exceptionally hard and got a very good score. Her parents were very happy and gave her a sum of money to travel with her classmates. That day, she ran to tell Lisa the good news. Half the reason why she performed well at the exam was because Lisa helped her summarize the key points.
But that day, when she arrived at the door, she heard a strange noise inside. Then Grandma Manoban came out and asked her to go back. She didn't think much about it and left. After that, she was busy with volunteer work, traveling, visiting relatives and preparing for school. She had a very busy summer vacation.
When she got to college, she started to live on campus. With a larger circle and more things she wanted to learn, she would have less time to go back. 'Occasionally when I go back on the weekends, I also hurriedly walked away, and never ran to the white grandma's house as soon as I had time.'
"I'm sorry." Jennie suddenly remembered Grandma Manoban's words that were said to her when she was dying.
"Jennie, Lisa's world is small, and she can only hold herself. But when she opens her heart up to someone, that person will be her whole world."
Therefore, when she filled her heart with happiness and was welcomed into her world, she also left Lisa's world and left her alone there.
Jennie knew it wasn't her fault. No one should be the world of another person and no one should be born attached to another person. But as long as she thought of Lisa sitting alone in her world, waiting for her to return, she felt sad and wanted to cry uncomfortably.
In this lifetime, she made Lisa wait for four years, then she returned. But in her last life, she made Lisa wait for eight years and ultimately couldn't return to her world.
"Don't cry." Lisa clumsily wiped Jennie's tears from her face.
"Lisa, I won't." Jennie held Lisa's hand and assured her earnestly, "I promise you, I won't hate you because of your condition and I won't leave you because of it."
"En." Lisa nodded her head heavily, feeling happy. she believed what Jennie said. As long as she said it, she was willing to believe it.
"Then you also promise me that you'll tell me whenever you feel uncomfortable so I can help you."
"En." Lisa nodded, Jennie won't hate her because of her condition, so she'll work hard to prevent it.
"All right, pull the hook." Jennie held out her little finger.
Looking at Jennie's little finger, Lisa's smile gradually widened. she remembered when they first met, Jennie accidentally stepped on a flower in grandma's yard. She forced her to do a pinky promise so she wouldn't tell grandma and for her to not move. Jennie forcibly picked up her finger.
"You can't tell if you pulled the hook."
She didn't tell, because the flower grew well again after two days and grandma didn't notice.
"You kept your word. Let's be friends in the future." Then Jennie unilaterally became friends with her.
"Hook." This time, Lisa took the initiative to hook Jennie's finger.
This time, Jennie no longer had an unilateral commitment.