It pained him, the helpless feeling he felt whenever he saw you. No matter how hard he tried to find a solution to your problem nothing seemed to work. In fact it had the opposite effect.
You got scared of him
Every one of his attempts made you feel uncomfortable to the point that you got stomach aches. And when you wanted to respectfully decline his offer no words would come out of your mouth because you got intimated by his intense gaze. Well in your eyes it seemed that way. Shin wouldn't actually do that on purpose. It was just his natural stare.
Eventually the fear would be so strong that when he even tried to get close, you ignored him and flee into another direction
Despite this Shin was determined to not give up on you.
Yet
He simply couldn't go on his daily life without the person he had grown to care so much for. The girl who was always there for him during hard times. Wel both you, Toma and Heroine. However between the three of you, the one he felt the most connected to was you.
In the end you where the one he grew feelings for over the course of years
Who would have thought that the day he wanted to tell you would be the same day you got into a terrible accident that nearly cost you your life.
He remembered the sudden panicked phone call from Toma. The blond would frantically tell him how you got hit by a bus and was now getting surgery. Hearing this horrible news his face turned completely pale and his breath got caught up in his throat. He was shivering so much that his hand was barely able to hold his phone. With trembling voice, the first thing he asked was what your condition was. But when Toma told him he wasn't sure he immediately sprinted to the hospital without a second thought
Running throw the white halls all he could think about was you. He ignored the warnings he got and didn't even help a nurse pick up her fills when he caused her to drop them by bumping into her. His mind was a mess, filled with fear and anxiety.
Despite the situation Shin tried his best to stay composed. So when he got to Toma he took a deep breath and tried to act way more relaxed than he was realistically feeling. He saw how his childhood friend held Heroine who cried in his shoulder and attempted to hold his emotions under control while focusing his attention on comforting his girlfriend. But Shin could see clear as day the panic in his eyes. Not only that but his teeth where tightly gritted together and his hands where shaking.
He frowned and walked towards them. Putting a hand on both their shoulder he gained their attention. The black, red haired boy tried to say something, but no words came out. All he got out was a stern expression and squeezed his friends shoulders softly. As a sign that everything was going to be okey. That was the best he come up with.
He didn't want to use any words in fear that he would break down
The three of them stayed there for hours, waiting for the doctor to come out of the surgery room with good news. And thank the lucky stars that happend.
But their moment of happiness was cut short when they got see you. Because when you regained consciousness and they all started to talk to you in excitement with tears of relief in their eyes, you looked at them confused. And the first words that left your mouth was something that struck hard. Especially to Shin
" Who are you?"
This phrase kept echoing in the back of his head over and over again. And that hadn't changed since then.
Currently in the present time he was watching you from a distance. Together with Toma and Heroine you where out shopping. And you seemed to have a great time. Laughing, talking and even teasing each other. His lips curved up into a small smile. He was happy to see you like this.
But the urge to enjoy that moment with you was overwhelming. Shin ran his hand trough his hair and let out an exasperated sigh closing his eyes in the proces while trying to not let the negative emotions take over
And when he wasn't looking you caught a glimpse of him. You frowned but stayed calm. Toma sensed you discomfort and followed your gaze. Seeing you spotting his best friend he smiled sadly at you " hey, don't worry I'm sure he won't do anything" he patted your head in reassures
You hummed but still didn't take your eyes of him.
However you stift when he suddenly stared right back at you.
E/c and red eyes locked onto one another. This was probably the longest time you had done that.
However strangely enough you didn't feel uneasy like two seconds ago. The sudden uncomfortable feeling seemed to vanish and was replaced with a new sensation.
Warmth and safety
It was only now that you noticed how beautiful his eyes actually where. And looking at them made your heart beat increase and your cheeks started to feel warm. The same could be said for Shin, he was shocked as well
" You okey Y/n?" Heroines sweet voice broke you out of your trance
" Yeah.. " you hesitantly answered
" Do you wanna go talk to him? " Toma questioned " We accompany with you"
Bitting the inside of your cheek you thought about it. Whether or not if it was a good idea. You then started to bite your nails and this made your friends chuckled. This was a habit of yours that would happen whenever you where nervous or deep in thought " You don't have to decide right away, you can talk to him later"
Heroine hummed in agrement and linked her arm with yours, dragging you along with her to a nearby shop she wanted to visite.
This however made Shin's lips turn into a straight line. For a second he thought that you would come to him. Rubbing his eyes he felt like an idiot for getting his hopes up.
" Damnit" he cursed under his breath
" Don't sweat it, she'll talk to you sooner then you think" Toma patted his back
Shin was startled a bit from his friend sudden appearance behind him " What makes you think that " he folded his arms over his chest and leaned next to a nearby tree
" My instinct " The blond simply stated
" You expect me to trust your gut feeling " Shin deadpanned
" Yep " Toma chuckled
" Get lost" He slapt his friend on the back of his head and went home
***
Stretching his arms Shin got up from his desk and went to the kitchen to grab some food. He had been studying for the last couple of hours and didn't see time flow by. Only when his stomach rumbled did he notice how late it was.
Opening his food cabinet he grabbed a bag of instant noodle. Not the healthiest choice but he had to study some more for the upcoming exams so he didn't want to spent much time on cooking. Pouring water into the kettle he set it on the stove and turned it on. Grabbing a bowl he opened the package and put the content in it.
Waiting for the water to boil he scrolled trough his phone.
When the kettle started to whistle he turned off the stove and poured the water into the bowl of noodles. The sent was already overwhelming his nose strings making him all the more hungrier. He walked back to his room and settle down. And just as he was about to take a bite the door bell rang.
" Always when I'm about to eat." He grumbled and reluctantly went to the door. Unlocking it he swung it open with an irritated face. But that quickly dropped when he saw a petit girl standing in front of him
" Y/n" Shin was perplex at seeing you at his doorstep.
" H-hey" you nervously waved " May I come in?"
The boy shook his head and stepped aside giving you room to enter. Taking off your shoes you made your way to his small living room. Glancing around you took in the atmosphere and smiled to yourself, it seemed like a nice, cozy place. Neatly organized which you wouldn't think from someone like Shin.
" Wanna drink something? " he offered
" No I'm good" You sat down on the floor, shin doing the same
"...."
"...."
" So?" the raven haired scratch his chin " Why did you come here?"
You tumbled with your thumbs not knowing how to start " I-i actually wanted to talk to you about us"
" Us?" Shin's raised his eyebrow in confusion
You took a deep breath before continuing " Toma told me...about your feelings for me"
Shin squeezed his hands together and lowered his head. He didn't now how he felt about your discovery but he knew one thing for sure. And that was that he wished he could strangle Toma to death.
" And now I actually understand more why you acted all weird when I was discharged from the hospital."
" The way you tried to help me remember stuff with your methods. It all makes sense now. But why didn't you tell me this right away?" you asked softly
" What difference would that have made.."
" Well for starters I wouldn't have been freaked out by you." You commented " And secondly I wouldn't have pushed you away"
" I know that " He snapped " But then what! Would that have made any difference in the way you saw me? " his sudden voice augmentation startled you making you shuffle away a bit. Shin noticed and apologized
" I didn't want you to know me as the brotherly figure you've always seen me as. I thought that I could make you see me differently..like someone you could spend more time with."
You frowned " I know it was a selfish thing to do. I took advantage of your memorie loose and...I'm sorry for that. I shouldn't have forced it on you."
"But on the day of your accident I was planning on telling you my feelings" Shin admitted with a sigh " I just wished I had done it sooner"
" Shin.." you reached out your hand and carefully placed it on his cheek. He hesitantly put his hand over yours and rubbed your knuckles " I don't know how long it will take for me to regain my memories. But if I do maybe there could be a change for me to start seeing you differently."
" Don't start spreading nonsens "
" No I mean it! Because when I made eye contact with you this afternoon. I- I swear I felt something."
Shin starred at you, he didn't know whether or not believe what you just said. But he knew you weren't the tip of girl to lie. You where always honest about your feelings. So maybe there was really a chance. At least he liked to hope.
" I'll wait then. Until you get your memories back I won't rush things. " he announced determined
" Thank you" you smiled gratefully " But still I wanna be around you more. You're having way to much fun with that idiot Toma!"
You chuckled into your hand " No need to be jealous"
" I'm not" he defended " I just need to be by your side. You don't know how badly I want you to be my girlfriend. "
Your face flushed red and you looked away " No need to be so forward" you still weren't used to the fact of him liking you.
" So will you allow me? " he asked
You gazed at his eyes and nodded. Shin sighed relieved " Then please don't get made at me for doing this"
A knot of nervousness formed in your gut when he leaned closer to you. His hand went to your chin and he brought your face closer to his. You shut your eyes and whimpered a little.
But nothing happend of what you expected. Instead you felt his lips kiss your cheek.
Shin let go of you and grinned at your surprised expression " What did you think I was gonna do?"
" N-nothing " you stuttered, embarrassed for getting the wrong idea
" Like I just said dummy, I won't force anything. Instead I'll show you what kind of man I can be to you"
You blinked before bursting out into laughter " Cheesy but am looking forward to it"