(Thirtieth chapter)
"Sowon are you dozing? Wake up you sleepy head."
Sowon groaned, messing up her hair in an attempt to release her pent up frustration. She gave a deadly glare towards the female sitting next to her on her bed as she suppressed a yawn.
"Jeez, you look terrible. Didn't you sleep last night-"
"I did! In fact, I had the best sleep of my life that no one can say otherwise, no one!"
After finishing her defensive reasons by cutting off the other person's question, Sowon huffed out some air angrily.
Haneul raised her eyebrows, carefully eyeing her friend's haggard condition. She was not sure how to respond to her best friend's stubborn answer as she gave a small nod.
"Er, okay? I mean you were dozing off so much I thought you were tired."
"I am not." Sowon tried pushing back the yawn but failed and released it, making the latter roll her eyes.
"Yeah sure." Haneul was unsure why Sowon was quite moody today but decided to not bother her more.
Sowon was grateful when her friend didn't ask more questions and continued painting her nails with some decorations despite her denial. She didn't want to admit that she spent the whole night tossing and turning because her bed felt too unfamiliar and she could not sleep even a wink.
She didn't want to admit that she missed his masculine scent, his bed and comfort, especially his annoying presence.
"But why are you coming only after two weeks? Did you go on a vacation?"
"I heard that you were sharing a room with Mr Handsome so I made sure not disturb you."
"Whatever."
Sowon scoffed, questioning how Haneul got the news about her room but she already knew that the answer was her mother. Of course, she told Haneul and stopped her from coming home because she seemed so excited about her daughter sharing a room with her so-called 'fianceé'.
But now that it was over, Haneul decided to drop in and ask her numerous questions about what did they do or how was her experience which never seemed to end.
"Sowon," Her friend began, "Are you okay?"
She looked at the girl who gave her a worried look and tilted her head in confusion, "What for?"
"About Hoseok..."
Sowon didn't need to hear anything more because she knew what direction this conversation was going to. She only nodded and sighed, "Yeah."
Why did her mother disclose such information to Haneul? It made her angry and upset because her friend had already told her that she would regret her decision which she was doing right now.
Sowon opened her mouth to say that it was nothing and dismiss the topic but realised something which did not make sense no matter how much she tried to think.
"Haneul how did you know?"
"Hm, about what?" She was still focused on her nails.
"About Hoseok. How did you know?"
Haneul stopped painting her nails, freezing for a moment before she looked up and gave her friend a nervous smile.
"O-Of course I heard it from your mother, who else?"
Sowon knew she was lying because the way Haneul nervously laughed was quite obvious and she had other assumptions which she indirectly proved to be true.
"Really?"
"Do you think I am lying?"
She searched for something in Haneul's eyes and immediately found the guilt washing over her. Sowon didn't want to continue the subject but she knew it had to be done.
"No, because I never told my mother about that day or Hoseok. She knows nothing Haneul."
The smile had disappeared from Haneul's face and the expression of shock morphed onto her face and widened eyes as she gulped.
She was caught.
Sowon kept her doubts and rage down, trying to calmly handle the situation because it was already on thin ice. Any irrational action could lead to something big.
"Haneul, tell me the truth. What are you trying to hide from me?"
Although Sowon did her best, she could not hide the pain in her voice because she never expected her best friend to lie in front of her face.
Never.
"I," Haneul sighed, looking down at the nail assortment box she brought with her, "I am sorry Sowon I didn't mean to lie-"
"Haneul, I said tell me the truth. Why are you apologising?"
Sowon had unintentionally raised her voice because the emotions were taking over her now. She felt her body temperature burn higher than normal as she tried to keep herself in control.
"I will but first promise me that you will try to understand me, that you won't be mad."
Haneul kept her lips tightly sealed after speaking, waiting for her friend to make her promise. Sowon only gave her a look of disbelief as she tried to comprehend why her friend was acting so out of herself.
"Just tell me the truth."
Despite her pleading, Haneul was not willing to talk unless Sowon made her promise. She felt frustrated and hopeless because the feeling of insecurity and uneasiness was already eating her conscience.
"I- okay. I will try to understand you so now talk, please."
Haneul looked hesitant but nodded because she couldn't see her friend desperate that way and Sowon internally thanked her friend for not being more stubborn.
"I- remember the day when you called me and told me about your plan to answer Hoseok?"
Sowon remembered that day as clear as a crystal because it was scarification of her mistake she can never forget. She nodded and Haneul licked her lips before continuing.
"I was worried, very worried about your decision because it was too rash. I couldn't think properly and I rushed to your house to stop you but you were already gone."
Sowon felt her stomach churning and she stood up, trying to dissipate the wreck of emotions she was feeling. She already had a feeling that she knew what her friend was trying to say through her silence but she needed to hear it out loud.
Haneul still avoided eye contact as she silently sat for a moment. Her calm figure soon broke in a fit of sobs as she looked up and Sowon never felt more deceived.
"I-I am so sorry Sowon-"
"No. No no no no..." Sowon moved away from her friend as she looked around her room in a hopeless attempt to distract herself.
"It's a lie, right? T-This must be a prank, did you plan this?"
Haneul said nothing more but only cried more harder and Sowon felt her heart sinking in despair as she tried to hold in the frustrating urge to release a scream.
She needed to think properly. It could all have been a misunderstanding and she might be wrong about her assumptions. Haneul was her best friend, she would never hurt Sowon like that..right?
But in a fit to change the bitter truth, Sowon found it hard to accept that everyone betrays us at one point in life. And this time, her best friend did.
She couldn't hold in the anguish as she released a cry of agony and ache, tugging the roots of her hair as she helplessly fell on her knees to the cold floor.
"S-Sowon, get yourself straight."
Haneul was shaking Sowon who didn't even realise that she was crying unendingly.
"Haneul, please tell me it's a lie. That it's not what I think."
Her best friend felt immense pity for her but could only shake her head, "I am sorry So-"
"Why are you sorry? Why are you apologising when it's all a lie?!"
Sowon struggled to release herself from the grip of her best friend as she shouted at her in anger. Haneul still held onto her, offering comfort without any hope.
Within a minute after bawling her eyes out, Sowon felt her head becoming clear and the truth seemed to stretch out in front of her eyes like a never-ending road. Grunting, she pushed away from her friend and moved away as though she was a plague.
"So you are telling me that it's you who told Namjoon about me that day?"
"I-"
"It's you! It's you who sent Namjoon to wreck me and Hoseok's relationship that day! I always thought it's my fault but all this time, it's you. It's your fault Haneul!"
Haneul was still shocked, hurt at how her own best friend was pointing a finger at her chest and blaming her for all the mistakes. It was true that she told Namjoon about Sowon but she didn't expect things to go off extreme.
She never meant to hurt her.
"Sowon listen to me. I-I was worried for you-"
"Oh were you? I already told you that it was my decision to take it then why? Why did you intervene into my life matters like that?"
"Han Sowon!"
Haneul felt wrongly blamed now that Sowon was lashing out at her. She already knew that this day would eventually come and she had tried preparing herself several times but the actual scene was terrifying to continue.
Sowon exhaled out, half-dried tears streaked on her face as hair stuck out from its place. Her heart was still beating erratically as she tried to settle the pain of betrayal inside her.
"Don't you dare try to interfere in my life again." She warned.
Haneul felt the blood draining from her face as she tried to comprehend what her friend just said. She must have heard wrong because Sowon would never say that, right?
"W-What do you mean Sowon?"
Don't say it, she internally prayed but nothing seemed to work for her.
"It's over. Our friendship, you and I are done Haneul."
Haneul felt like a piece of her heart was ripped and set alight on fire, pain and deception stabbing through her soul as she tried to speak but nothing came out.
She felt hopeless, backstabbed by her best friend as she tried to find words to speak but her throat burnt like she had no more voice.
"Get out."
No.
It must be a bad dream, yes, Haneul was only dreaming. She was only stuck in a nightmare and none of this was true. Sowon and she were best friends, nothing could separate them.
Her best friend would never do this to her in reality, right?
"I said get out. Don't you hear me?"
Sowon stood up, rage fuming with every breath she took in. She was glaring hard at her once called 'friend' as she tried to look tough and she was no longer crying.
Haneul didn't know what to feel because she had partly brought this on her. Maybe Sowon would forgive her after some time because she is confused right now.
Maybe.
"I-I.."
She was only worried about her best friend but failed to notice how it would hurt her. Why did she overlook that possibility?
"I have nothing more to say or hear. Just get out and never show me your face again."
Sowon crossed her arms and turned her back on Haneul who was still silently crying without any word or retaliation. She heard some shuffling, meaning that Haneul was packing up her stuff intending to leave.
She felt her eyes burn again but she bit her lip until she felt the metallic taste of blood. She could not believe that her own best friend had lied and broken her trust in such a way.
Please, please.
Still, she could not let her best friend just go away from her life this way. Sowon prayed internally, begging her friend to hear her prayer and talk back. Say something, you idiot! Sowon waited with a baited breath for her friend to apologise once more and she was ready to turn back and hug her.
She was willing to accept the truth and move on, forgiving Haneul like nothing happened today if she asked for her forgiveness. Sowon knew her best friend won't give up on their eleven years of friendship for anything, especially for such a matter.
"I-I am leaving...take care Sowon."
No.
Come back.
Sowon could not believe what she just heard or happened. Did Haneul actually agree to move out of her life? Her heart was racing and a bad feeling was already spreading like wildfire on her mind.
"Haneul-"
She turned around, ready to beg her friend not to leave but when nothing but thin air filled her vision, Sowon was frozen.
She actually left, she thought and the option to run down and stop her friend was still possible. But she looked at the empty space again and her heart hardened,
"If she willingly left then why should I stop her?"
Once again her self ego had stopped her from chasing the better decision and Sowon decided that it was for the best since she had left without any fight. She was convinced that Haneul wasn't worthy of her friendship neither her forgiveness.
It was then Sowon felt a piece of her heart getting darker, locked and hidden far away from anyone's sight and it would always be empty because of the one who had filled it had left forever.
And she let her best friend leave her life just like that.
A/N: I did nothing *innocently looks away* but maybe you can share your thoughts ;)