۵ stubborn leos ۵
October 13, 2018
Saturday - 9am
Josie's pov
They really locked us in here. Assholes. "Look josie can we talk please" seb said taking a step closer to me. I picked up the Chick-fil-A bag and grabbed my food. "let's just eat first" I said looking at him trying to avoid the conversation. I can't bare to hear the truth, it will break me even more.
He nodded his head in agreement. We ate our food in total awkward silence. That was until downey knocked on the door. "I don't hear any talking" Downey said on the other side of the door. I looked up to seb and saw his face. God it hurt him to see him hurting but the truth is I am hurting because of him. I shouldn't feel bad for what he did and how he feels but I do because I love him.
"talk" I said breaking the silence after 20 minutes of us being in the room. "First of Josie I'm truly sorry, no wait sorry I mean joslyn, I know how much you hate when people you hate call you by your nickname and seeing as you hate me right now probably isn't the best time to make you more mad or upset" he said rambling.
I tried my best to not giggle or smile at him for rambling. "Josie is fine" I said as we made eye contacts. "Josie, I am sorry. Alcohol is no excuse for what I did to you" he said as he looked at me. The slightest bit of eye contact hurts me. To see his deep blue eyes filled with redness.
"I haven't slept in almost 2 days maybe, I just kept thinking of how to tell you everything" he stated and it was noticeable. I was able to sleep just because I felt depressed so badly I just didn't want to be up and thinking so I slept. "Josie that night , when you saw me with ale, was a mistake, I don't know what took over me to do it but I did do it" he said as his voice cracked near the end.
"I wish I knew why I did it but I don't and I hate myself for that. I hate myself for hurting you because I love you and it hurts to think I've might of lost it all because one night" he said as his eyes filled with tears. I could just see how hard this is for him and the pain he is going through but so am I.
"you cheated" I said looking down at my hand as I played with my necklace he gave me with the other. "And josie I am sorry, I regret it, all of it. I truly don't know what made me do it that night. Maybe it's the fact that I hate seeing you with mateo but even then it's no excuse" he said looking at me. I wasn't looking at him but I could feel his eyes on me.
"And I know that your shit of an ex has cheated on you, hurt you in ways no one should live through and I know that he sexually assaulted you at one point. Chris has told me about it and how you wouldn't eat for days, you saw a therapist and you told them and yourself all you wanted in life was to feel happy but not just any happy genuine happiness" he said and I looked up at him.
I've never told him about any of that. I'm not mad Chris told him but just never thought about it. "That first day at the airport in your pajama something told me this girl is the one but Chris said not now and I waited for you" he said trying to put a hand on my thing. I didn't move it and he kept it there.
"From that day on I knew you were the one jo, i mean I've heard you talk about how you want this family and a boy first to protect the little sister, up to the names" he said looking at me as I looked back at his hand on my thing.
"Look I can't erase what I did that night with ale, okay i admit we made out and had sex" he said and I felt the tears come out. Hearing the last word sunk my heart. "I cheated on you and I regret it all if I could go back in time and do things differently I would. Josie I really would." He said moving my chin up so I could see him.
He used his thumb to wipe away a few tears of mine. "These past days have been the hardest, not being able to see or talk to you and I'm sure it was hard for you too and I'm sorry I'm putting you through all this pain." He said looking at me with his red puffy eyes. Tears in eyes and all.
"Josie I am sorry and what ever you decide to do, I will support you because I love you Joslyn Amora Martinez and I want you to be happy and if it's not with me then I let you be because I want you to feel genuine happiness you deserve that" he said ending his statement about everything.
end of chapter.